Bloodthirsty: I hate writers block. This is about the third version I've written. Gawd I hate it. *bashes her head*
Kain: You're going to hurt yourself by doing that, you know.
Legolas: And you care because…?
Kain: Who said anything about me caring? I'm just stating the obvious.
Bloodthirsty: I'll get my revenge… Ahem… I must apologize for the loooong wait… heh, I went camping for… ten days?! Dear god! I missed this computer so much!! *latches onto her computer*
…and I'm just lazy…
And BTW, Kain is BO2 Kain… just… because… =P
Ahem… shoutouts!
AimzNemesis Sadistic Scorpion: Thanks! I'm glad you like the fic! ^^
Zephon Fan: Wow! Four reviews!!! Thankies so much! And I'll take the ideas into consideration! Gawd, what would I do without you? *throws Zephon plushie*
Elashana: Hee! I'm glad you like mah style, ^____^ hopefully you'll like this chapter too, lol.
Jedi-And: Wonderful idea!! That's definitely a keeper!
Sarryn: Halloo again! Glad ya like it, and the Janos plushie. There's just something about big, black wings that… ahehehe.. never mind…
Venris: lol! Yeah. Poor Zephon will have sinkaphobia when this is all through, lol!
Fallen Templar: Hehe… heads up? And yeah, Zephon will need it. Definitely, lol.
Demon Hunter Anamae: Hehehe, everyone loves the sink, 'cept of course Zephon… and trust me, it'll get better… mwah hahahahaa!!!
Angel-Chan: Of course I did! It was too awesome to ignore! And right now, the world is coming to whatever I say it is! Mwah hahaha!
AmuseMe: Yay! Glad you like the story! Cause it certainly is fun to write!
Ariel floats into Zephon's room at about one in the morning, and Kain is still trying to exorcise the demon out of him.
Kain: The power of- the power of- dear god, I'm so sick of that damned phrase…
Zephon/Demon: You're sick of it? I've had to listen to it for who knows how long?!
Ariel: Zephon, and uh, demon, go to bed. You too Kain. You have to work tomorrow.
Kain: Work…? Damnit. Work, work, exorcise, work. That's all I ever do around here! And it doesn't help with my manager hitting on me. I know I'm good looking, but really, a guy gets tired of being groped.
Ariel: Uh Kain, Z-
Kain: Silence! I'm not finished ranting! Do you know how hard it is to keep my hair like this?! I can't even shower for gods sake!
Ariel: Kain! Zeph-
Kain: And keeping a body like this? It takes work! And my schedule is tight enough as it is! *gestures to his nice, sculpted, beautiful… erh… where was I? Oh yeah! His abs…hehe…*
Ariel: Are you finished?
Kain: Yeah, and I feel so much better. *smiles*
Ariel: Good, cause Zephon just crawled out the window.
Kain: Oh, okay- what?! No!! I'm going to bed! I need my beauty sleep! Let someone else find him, I'm going to bed. *he huffs and stomps out of the room*
Ariel: *shrugs* I can't really leave this place, so I'll just let some other poor soul find him. *she floats out of the room as well*
Meanwhile, outside, Zephon/demon is scampering around like an animal, sniffing fire hydrants and snarling.
Random person: My my, a teenager out late… Poor thing. Where do you li- *The poor soul is cut off by the slice of Zephon's claw across his throat. Why he was out so late, we'll never know*
Zephon/Demon: Were shall we go to next? How the hell should I know?! You're in control here! Let's go see that creepy mansion! Sure, why not?
So Zephon/demon begin the journey down the street towards the creepy mansion. And now, back at home…
Kain: *Has a pillow over his head* I'm not listening Ariel!
Ariel: Poor Zephon… He could be taken advantage of, or killed…
Kain: Good! One less mouth to feed!
Ariel: Or… he could do some major damage and get you a major fine…
Kain: Shit! *bolts out of bed and races out the bedroom door in his boxers*
Rahab: *hears Kain pounding furiously at the door* Wha…?
Dumah: *also wakes up* What the hell?
Kain: *from outside the room* Rahab! Get out here!
Rahab: Fine, don't get your underwear in a wedgie. *opens the door to see Kain in smiley faced boxers* Dear sweet mother of Pearl, get some pants on!
Kain: *rolls his eyes* It's not like I'm in a thong. Now go get Melchiah and find Zephon.
Rahab: Where is he?
Kain: Somewhere outside. Now go get your brother.
Rahab: *mumbles and proceeds to the next room to get Melchiah*
As soon as the two young vampires are fully dressed, they go outside to find Zephon.
Melchiah: I'm sleepy… and I don't wanna find Zephon. He's a jackass.
Rahab: Mel, someday you'll learn that there's more to people than what you think.
Melchiah: Even Zephon?
Rahab:… Well… Let's just find him and get it over with… *they both look at the haunted mansion*
Melchiah: How the hell did that house get on a place called 'Maple street'?
Rahab: Beats me, but Zephon is probably there, just because of Murphy's Law.
The two approach the front of the house, only to see what appears to be a bouncer. He looks at them suspiciously.
Bouncer: Are you friends with that freaky, animalistic one?
Rahab: *Rolls his eyes* Damn Zephon. We're acquaintances, not friends.
Bouncer: Well I'm sure you're not old enough to go in.
Melchiah: We're probably older than you! I'm over a millennia old!
Bouncer: *eyes them suspiciously* Okay… fine… but if you're under aged, we never met… *The two vampires walk in, only to be greeted to very…odd music*
Melchiah: This music is… odd…
Rahab: I have a sinking suspicion we shouldn't be here…
Vorador: *comes up behind Rahab and taps him on the shoulder* Can I he- Rahab? Aren't you a little… uh… young to be here?
Rahab: Well… what is this place…?
Vorador: It's a bordello.
Rahab: *eyes widen* You are a sick old vampire!
Melchiah: What's that?
Vorador: It's basically a-
Rahab: No! Don't taint his innocent mind!
Vorador: He skins people! How innocent can he be?! He needs to learn about reproduction.
Rahab: But- *is bowled over by Zephon*
Zephon/Demon: Ha! Fresh meat! Sacrifices for the sink! The sink!!!
Vorador: *grins and takes hold of Melchiah's hand* I want you to meet a few of my... employees…
Rahab: *manages to knock Zephon unconscious* There! Take that you bastard! Now where's Melchiah- oh no! *looks around realizing he and Vorador are gone* Kain is so going to kill me… *runs down the hallway in search of his two youngest brothers*
Six in the morning rolls around, and Kain drags his butt out of bed, smashing his alarm clock.
Kain: Goddamn early mornings. *stretches and yawns* Today is going to be a bad day. I can feel it in my bones…
Ariel: It's always a bad day for you. Be optimistic!
Kain: How can I be optimistic?! And how did you get here?
Ariel: *shrugs* I dunno, I just kind of… appear when I want to. *Phone rings* Kain? You're the one who demands that only the 'man' of the house can answer the phone, now do it.
Kain: *muttering curses while racing to get to the phone. He finally answers it* Who the hell calls this early?! *picks up the phone* Hullo?
Voice at the other end of the phone: *in a New York accent* Kain? Is that you? Ooh, my little boy is all grown up!
Kain: *horrified* Mom?!
Voice at the other end of the phone: No, silly. Mummsies! Your father and me are coming over tonight, so have something special ready for us… I can't wait to see your kids and your wife. I'm sure they're as darling as you are. Kainy-poo? Are you there?
Kain: *eyes wide* O…kay… *hangs up*
Ariel: Kain? Something wrong?
Kain: Shoot me… just… shoot me.
*Rahab opens the door, looking extremely tired, dragging a very hyper looking Melchiah*
Kain: what the hell are you two doing home so late- erh… early?!
Rahab: We had a little mishap with Zephon and Vorador… and Candy… and Taffy…
Kain: No wonder Melchiah looks like he's gonna pop. Sheesh.
Rahab: No, not like… 'Candy' and 'Taffy', but you know… certain… uhh.. women who like to be called names like those…
Melchiah: Kain…? Are you really our dad?
Kain: Of course I am! Why would you ask tha-
Melchiah: Ew! You had sex!
Rahab: Melchiah!! Shut up!!!
Kain: you took him to a strip club?! He knows about that now?! I'm gonna kill you for taking him to a strip club!
Rahab: No! Zephon went into the bordello down the street-
Kain: Whoa, wait… There's a bordello down the street…? Oh gawd… as long as Mom doesn't see it… why is Melchiah so freaked out?
Rahab: Well, when I found him, they were telling him the many uses of whipped cream…
Kain: What?! Vorador, that bastard, I'll kill him!!
Melchiah: He's coming over for supper with Candy!
Kain: What?! No!!! I have my parents coming over! And where the hell is Zephon?!
Rahab: At the dog pound… You have to pick him up today, or he's getting put down.
Kain: Noooooo!!! Make is stop!!!! Gaah!!! *runs upstairs to get dressed*
Later that day…
Kain: *deadpan* May I take your order?
Random person: I'll have a cheeseburger with fries… but hold the onions, and the cheese… And replace the beef patty with a veggie burger.
Kain: *blinks* Doesn't that defeat the whole purpose of a cheeseburger? You don't want meat, and you want me to hold the cheese?
Random person: And the onions!
Kain: Just get the veggie burger for godsake!
Random person: I don't like your attitude! Where's the manager!?
Kain: Shit! No! No manager! I'll hold on the meat, onions, and cheese!
Random person: That's better.
At school…
Mr. Smith (AKA Sarafan Dumah): Okay. Now I trust everyone has their gym strips? (N/A: That would be the school shorts and T-shirts)
SR Raziel: I uhh…. Could I just… stay like this?
S Dumah: Not a chance. Show some guts, and get changed. *directs the boys to the locker room*
SR Raziel: Uhh… *looks around, realizing there is no chance of him getting out of this* This is so degrading… *looks at his pants, tied up with a belt* I'm so scrawny…
Random student: Heh, hey blue guy? What's the matter? Not good enough to get changed with the rest of us? Or ashamed that all of you is blue... *boys around him start to laugh*
SR Raziel: I will not allow you to insult me!!! *takes off his pants, shirt and cowl* Roooarrr!
All students: Ahhhh!!!! *run towards the exit, some only in their underwear*
SR Raziel: Hehehe… today is going to be a good day…
And so, the day unfurls, going extremely crappy for Kain, but wonderful for his kids. Now lets go see Kain picking up his parents at the airport…
Kain: *looking around for a sign that says 'Kain'* Okay… wha…? *Two Zombies holding a sign with 'Kainy-poo'*
Zombie # 1: Kain? Is that my wittle hunnykins?! Awww! He's all gwown up into a man!
Kain: Uh… hi Mom… you could lay off on the baby voice…?
Mom: Oh, I'm sorry… It's been so long… and you never call…
Kain: *mumbling* I wonder why…
Dad: Son, we missed you! *hugs him* Just… you should cut your hair… you look like a girl…
Kain: What? My hair is my pride! It's so long and flowy! And lots of people think it's sexy.
Dad: *shakes his head* What happened to that little naïve boy I loved…
Kain: Uhh… he hit peuberty, was killed and raised as a vampire.
Dad: *glares* Shut up and get us home.
Kain: I uhh… have to go to the pound… and uh… get my son. *awkward silence*
Mom: *sadly* Oh Kain…
Bloodthirsty: …okay… so it's been a loong, LONG wait… But I did it! My writers block is cured!
Legolas: Damn.
Kain: double damn.
Bloodthirsty: Shaddap! I've had a crappy birthday! I could have been a lot meaner! No one ever appreciates me! *sobs*
Kain: shit!
Legolas: Double shit!
Muses: *pat Bloodthirsty on the back*
Bloodthirsty: Hehe… muses are so easy… *grins*
Hope you liked this one! ^^;; Pwease review… You'll get a… uhh… Marcus plushie! *rubs his head* He's good luck! ^^
Marcus: This is so degrading…