CHAPTER FOUR, WHEN EMU'S ATTACK.
By: Molly of Ozz and Legalan Greenleaf
"Legolas!"
The elven prince was woken by Lily's frantic cries.
"What is it?" He asked, still not fully awake.
"Bran's been kidnapped!"
"WHAT?"
The prince quickly donned proper apparel and followed Lily down the hallway to where Bran was last seen.
In the middle of the floor was a forest green cloak; the same one Bran had been wearing last night. And in the middle of it was Elrond's most prized dog, Lucky.
"The dog has refused to get off, and every time someone tries, he goes absolutely nuts!" Lily informed him.
"What's that?" Legolas asked sharply, nodding towards Lucky.
"A dog." Lily answered.
"No! In his mouth!" Legolas cried.
"OH! I don't know." Lily said stepping forward. "Lucky? Lucky, what have you got there? Hand 'em over."
The dog, surprisingly, handed over the objects with little reluctance.
"What is that?" Legolas asked over Lily's shoulder.
"Feathers. Emu feathers."
********
"Wha-what? Where am I? This isn't Rivendell. Eww... It's an emu." Bran awoke in the middle of a dense forest, with an emu butt in front of her face.
"Shut up." A frankenstien-esque thing/man barked.
"Dude, it's an emu! And it looks like it's about to take a dump on my head."
"Better move out of the way."
"Oh, that's real easy, seeing as how I'm CHAINED UP!" Bran shrieked angrily.
"I'm not getting paid enough for this."
********
"Lily, I don't understand. What's an emu?" Legolas asked for the three hundred billionth time.
"A large, very large, flightless bird." Lily answered for the three hundred billionth time.
"So what's that have to do with Bran?"
"Obviously you fail to recognize what I'm getting at, so I'll put it V-E-R-Y simply. Bran. Was. Carried. Off. By. An. EMU!"
"Oh." He said simply. "So......?"
"ARGH!" Lily said, "Get me someone who KNOWS what they're talking about!"
At that moment Lily and Leggie ran into a very distraught looking Sulel.
"Is it true?" He asked urgently. "Bran's gone?"
"It's true alright. Have a look at these." Lily said, thrusting him the feathers.
"Wha-? Feathers?"
"Emu feathers." Legolas said, trying to sound knowledgeable.
"Emu, milord?"
"A, uh,"
"A very, very large, flightless bird." Lily answered for him.
"How? You mean she was carried off by one of these... Emus?"
Lily, now very stressed out by the kidnapping of her best friend and the general lack of competence in the Rivendell household, backed up against a wall and began to sob uncontrollably. Legolas, feeling that he was in some part responsible (which he was), put his arms around Lily to comfort her.
Sulel stared at his friend, almost angrily.
"Don't worry. We'll find Bran." Legolas cooed in Lily's ear. Finally, her sobs wound down into normal tears, and then her tears into occasional choking hiccups.
"Legolas, we've just got to find Bran. We have to! She's my best friend!" Lily whispered, staring into Legolas' deep blue eyes. "We'll find her." Legolas assured.
"There's got to be something... A clue to where she's gone." Sulel interrupted.
"All we know is the emu." Lily choked.
"But, wasn't there a- a dog there?" Sulel asked.
"What are you getting at?"
"Well, I've heard Lucky was there. He's Lord Elrond's best tracking dog. If we could possibly persuade him to follow Bran's trail, we'd find her."
Lily stared hopefully up at Legolas. He nodded. "That's a great idea!"
******
"This is it." The Emu-riding thing/man said, thrusting a chained up Bran in front of him. "Damn it, don't be so rough!" Bran yelled crankily. "We've made a three day journey in a time span of less then twelve hours, I have a right to be slow!"
"Not if it's Lord Saurman (a/n: Sour-man) you are about to face."
"You mean Saruman?" Bran asked.
"NO! Saurman, son of Saruman." The thing/man said.
Bran stared at the emu-rider. "Whatever."
The thing/man was beginning to loose its patience. Quickly it heeled the emu so that it kicked Bran square in the stomach.
Bran doubled over, clutching her heaving abdomen in sheer agony.
"That will teach you to be properly afraid of the vengeance of Saurman and the emu-riders!" The thing/man screamed, and began to walk Bran much more vigorously towards the halfway built tower of the mysterious 'Saurman'.
*******
"My lord Elrond, we seek permission to take out a search party to find Bran...wyn." Legolas pleaded with Elrond.
With apparent reluctance, Elrond nodded. "Yes. You may take two other men besides yourself."
"And Lucky, milord." Sulel added.
"Yes, yes, and Lucky." Elrond nodded.
"Thank you, milord," Legolas bowed.
"Get a move on." Elrond said impatatiently, waving his hands at them.
Lily assaulted the two elves, Legolas and Sulel, right after they left Lord Elrond's meeting chambers.
"He let you? Good. I'm going with you."
"What? No!" Legolas exclaimed. "It's too dangerous! You'll get hurt."
Lily's hard look softened a bit, but her words were no less passionate. "Legolas, that is my best friend out there. And who knows what might have happened to her. You've got to let me go with you!"
Legolas stared long and hard at the young woman in front of him. "Yes." He said at last. "Yes, you shall come."
Sulel looked ready to protest, but wisely decided against it. "Master Legolas, the horses have already been prepared."
********
"Tell me!"
"Bite me!"
"ARGH!"
More thing/men surrounded Bran and began to beat her up, mercilessly. By the time they were done, she was bleeding profusely.
"Now tell me!" The head thing/man screamed.
"Listen...." Bran said weakly.
The thing man came closer.
"I don't know what the heck you're talking about and you smell!" Bran screamed in his ear.
"You KNOW of which I speak! The all-seeing mystical oracle of Rivendell!" The thing screeched.
"The all-seeing whatty?"
"ARGH!"
"Oh! The all-seeing ARGH! Never heard of it."
"ARGH!!!!!!!!"
*********
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'WE'RE CAMPING WITHOUT TENTS?'!"
Sulel rolled his eyes.
"I am NOT sleeping on the ground!"
TEN MINUTES LATER:
"I can't believe I'm sleeping on the ground."
"Milady Lily, it's quite hard to sleep with you complaining like that." Sulel pointed out.
"No! Really?" Lily said.
"Lily, be quiet and sleep." Legolas commanded.
"NO!" Lily screamed loudly.
"Well, at least now we can build a fire." Sulel said. "We've already alerted everyone to our presence."
With that, Lily got up. "Fine! You know that? Fine! If I have to take one more second of your sarcastic remarks, I'm going to leave and find Bran BY MYSELF!"
"Good luck..." Sulel said under his breath.
"What was that?" Lily asked dangerously.
"Sorry, milady. I said, sorry."
"Oh. Okay."
Legolas, who had been silent through most of this, valiantly offered Lily his blanket so she wouldn't have to sleep on the ground. Lily, of course, accepted.
About halfway through the night, the entire company was alerted of another presence by Lucky's frantic bark. Or should I say, presences.
"Back! Back, you foul demon from afar!"
CRASH! CRASH! BOOM! BREAKY-NESS!
Two figures crashed into the campsite.
"Uh... Legolas?"
"Yes, Lily?"
"That is an emu."
"Oh."
"I shall slay you!" The mysterious figure fighting the emu yelled.
The two figures, one man and one emu, clashed violently for a moment, then rolled out of the campsite.
"Did that scare you too?" Sulel asked.
The other two just nodded lamely.
"Wasn't that Aragorn?" Legolas asked.
"Was he trying to fend off that emu with a cereal spoon?" Lily asked.
"Since when did he sound so much like Gandalf?" Sulel asked.
Suddenly, the mysterious man ran back into the campsite.
"Aragorn?"
" 'Tis I, Aragorn, King of Gondor. Behold my power and might!"
"Aragorn, you're scaring me."
"Oh, uh, sorry." Aragorn said lamely.
"What were you doing out here anyway?" Lily demanded.
"Oh, uh, that. Arwen and I had a fight, and she kicked me out."
"All the way out here?" Sulel exclaimed while Aragorn just nodded.
"Why were you fending off that emu with a cereal spoon?" Lily finally said, asking the question that everyone had been waiting for.
"An emu, is that what it was? Well, it stole my sword." Aragorn answered simply.
"What?!"
"Well, I was out here in the forest making camp when I heard this noise. I looked around, and right behind me was this gigantic bird. I tried to fend it off with my sword, but to no avail. The bird took my sword and began to chase me with it. I dived and grabbed the first thing I found. A cereal spoon. So, I fought with it all the way to here, and then I tackled it, and it ran away with my sword."
"Oh." They all chorused.
"So, what are you doing?" Aragorn asked conversationally.
"Bran's been kidnapped!" Sulel exclaimed.
And with that, the seriousness of the situation set in.
"Bran's been kidnapped?" Aragorn repeated.
"No, what did I just say?" Sulel asked, exasperated. If the company around him didn't wise up, maybe he would be the wiser to make good on Lily's threat and find Bran himself. He certainly wouldn't mind getting all the glory.
"No need to get sarcastic." Aragorn admonished lightly.
Sulel growled.
"Did you just growl at me?"
********
"Tell me where the all-seeing mystical oracle of Rivendell is!"
"Take a bath!"
"Tell me!"
"You smell."
"Tell me!'
"No!"
"Tell me!"
********
"I'm tired!" Lily yelled.
"I'm tired too, of your yelling 'I'm tired'!" Sulel screamed.
"Well, well, you've got pointy ears!"
"What kind of insult is THAT, stupid human."
"Hey!" Aragorn perked up.
"No offense, Aragorn."
"Oh. None taken."
"Back to me." Lily said. " It's a good insult, you elfy, thing."
"Oh help. I'm so devised by your caustic barbs."
"Yeah? Well, you should be."
"You're pathetic!"
"You're ugly!"
"I'm not! I'm an elf. Wisest and fairest of all beings."
"You'd really like to think that, wouldn't you?"
"At least I can't die."
"Not necessarily, elf. You can die of a broken heart. Mr. I-can't-get-a-date-with-MY-best-friend, Bran."
"Ooh." Legolas and Aragorn winced. "Low blow."
Sulel gasped. Lily smirked. "Ha ha. Got you there, haven't I?"
Sulel sniffed angrily and stalked away. Aragorn pulled out a notebook.
Score, Lily; One, Sulel; Zip.
~~~~~
Hi there! Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Okay, since I never remember to add these things at the
beginning of stories, IT'S DISCLAIMER TIME! Here goes; I do not own any part of Lord of the Rings,
I never have, never will. However, I do own Bran, Sulel, Saurman, Head Thing/Man, and any other products
of my insane mind. Lily is property of my dear friend, Legalan Greenleaf.
Okay, now that that's over with, I would like to thank Asa (can't do the nifty circle-y thing on my
computer), KarateElf (again), and Green and Silver (HI ROSIE!). Thank you all for reviewing! You all
make me very happy!! Alright, well that's it for now, the next chapter will be out in two shakes
of a hippo's butt... no, wait, lamb's tail.
By: Molly of Ozz and Legalan Greenleaf
"Legolas!"
The elven prince was woken by Lily's frantic cries.
"What is it?" He asked, still not fully awake.
"Bran's been kidnapped!"
"WHAT?"
The prince quickly donned proper apparel and followed Lily down the hallway to where Bran was last seen.
In the middle of the floor was a forest green cloak; the same one Bran had been wearing last night. And in the middle of it was Elrond's most prized dog, Lucky.
"The dog has refused to get off, and every time someone tries, he goes absolutely nuts!" Lily informed him.
"What's that?" Legolas asked sharply, nodding towards Lucky.
"A dog." Lily answered.
"No! In his mouth!" Legolas cried.
"OH! I don't know." Lily said stepping forward. "Lucky? Lucky, what have you got there? Hand 'em over."
The dog, surprisingly, handed over the objects with little reluctance.
"What is that?" Legolas asked over Lily's shoulder.
"Feathers. Emu feathers."
********
"Wha-what? Where am I? This isn't Rivendell. Eww... It's an emu." Bran awoke in the middle of a dense forest, with an emu butt in front of her face.
"Shut up." A frankenstien-esque thing/man barked.
"Dude, it's an emu! And it looks like it's about to take a dump on my head."
"Better move out of the way."
"Oh, that's real easy, seeing as how I'm CHAINED UP!" Bran shrieked angrily.
"I'm not getting paid enough for this."
********
"Lily, I don't understand. What's an emu?" Legolas asked for the three hundred billionth time.
"A large, very large, flightless bird." Lily answered for the three hundred billionth time.
"So what's that have to do with Bran?"
"Obviously you fail to recognize what I'm getting at, so I'll put it V-E-R-Y simply. Bran. Was. Carried. Off. By. An. EMU!"
"Oh." He said simply. "So......?"
"ARGH!" Lily said, "Get me someone who KNOWS what they're talking about!"
At that moment Lily and Leggie ran into a very distraught looking Sulel.
"Is it true?" He asked urgently. "Bran's gone?"
"It's true alright. Have a look at these." Lily said, thrusting him the feathers.
"Wha-? Feathers?"
"Emu feathers." Legolas said, trying to sound knowledgeable.
"Emu, milord?"
"A, uh,"
"A very, very large, flightless bird." Lily answered for him.
"How? You mean she was carried off by one of these... Emus?"
Lily, now very stressed out by the kidnapping of her best friend and the general lack of competence in the Rivendell household, backed up against a wall and began to sob uncontrollably. Legolas, feeling that he was in some part responsible (which he was), put his arms around Lily to comfort her.
Sulel stared at his friend, almost angrily.
"Don't worry. We'll find Bran." Legolas cooed in Lily's ear. Finally, her sobs wound down into normal tears, and then her tears into occasional choking hiccups.
"Legolas, we've just got to find Bran. We have to! She's my best friend!" Lily whispered, staring into Legolas' deep blue eyes. "We'll find her." Legolas assured.
"There's got to be something... A clue to where she's gone." Sulel interrupted.
"All we know is the emu." Lily choked.
"But, wasn't there a- a dog there?" Sulel asked.
"What are you getting at?"
"Well, I've heard Lucky was there. He's Lord Elrond's best tracking dog. If we could possibly persuade him to follow Bran's trail, we'd find her."
Lily stared hopefully up at Legolas. He nodded. "That's a great idea!"
******
"This is it." The Emu-riding thing/man said, thrusting a chained up Bran in front of him. "Damn it, don't be so rough!" Bran yelled crankily. "We've made a three day journey in a time span of less then twelve hours, I have a right to be slow!"
"Not if it's Lord Saurman (a/n: Sour-man) you are about to face."
"You mean Saruman?" Bran asked.
"NO! Saurman, son of Saruman." The thing/man said.
Bran stared at the emu-rider. "Whatever."
The thing/man was beginning to loose its patience. Quickly it heeled the emu so that it kicked Bran square in the stomach.
Bran doubled over, clutching her heaving abdomen in sheer agony.
"That will teach you to be properly afraid of the vengeance of Saurman and the emu-riders!" The thing/man screamed, and began to walk Bran much more vigorously towards the halfway built tower of the mysterious 'Saurman'.
*******
"My lord Elrond, we seek permission to take out a search party to find Bran...wyn." Legolas pleaded with Elrond.
With apparent reluctance, Elrond nodded. "Yes. You may take two other men besides yourself."
"And Lucky, milord." Sulel added.
"Yes, yes, and Lucky." Elrond nodded.
"Thank you, milord," Legolas bowed.
"Get a move on." Elrond said impatatiently, waving his hands at them.
Lily assaulted the two elves, Legolas and Sulel, right after they left Lord Elrond's meeting chambers.
"He let you? Good. I'm going with you."
"What? No!" Legolas exclaimed. "It's too dangerous! You'll get hurt."
Lily's hard look softened a bit, but her words were no less passionate. "Legolas, that is my best friend out there. And who knows what might have happened to her. You've got to let me go with you!"
Legolas stared long and hard at the young woman in front of him. "Yes." He said at last. "Yes, you shall come."
Sulel looked ready to protest, but wisely decided against it. "Master Legolas, the horses have already been prepared."
********
"Tell me!"
"Bite me!"
"ARGH!"
More thing/men surrounded Bran and began to beat her up, mercilessly. By the time they were done, she was bleeding profusely.
"Now tell me!" The head thing/man screamed.
"Listen...." Bran said weakly.
The thing man came closer.
"I don't know what the heck you're talking about and you smell!" Bran screamed in his ear.
"You KNOW of which I speak! The all-seeing mystical oracle of Rivendell!" The thing screeched.
"The all-seeing whatty?"
"ARGH!"
"Oh! The all-seeing ARGH! Never heard of it."
"ARGH!!!!!!!!"
*********
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'WE'RE CAMPING WITHOUT TENTS?'!"
Sulel rolled his eyes.
"I am NOT sleeping on the ground!"
TEN MINUTES LATER:
"I can't believe I'm sleeping on the ground."
"Milady Lily, it's quite hard to sleep with you complaining like that." Sulel pointed out.
"No! Really?" Lily said.
"Lily, be quiet and sleep." Legolas commanded.
"NO!" Lily screamed loudly.
"Well, at least now we can build a fire." Sulel said. "We've already alerted everyone to our presence."
With that, Lily got up. "Fine! You know that? Fine! If I have to take one more second of your sarcastic remarks, I'm going to leave and find Bran BY MYSELF!"
"Good luck..." Sulel said under his breath.
"What was that?" Lily asked dangerously.
"Sorry, milady. I said, sorry."
"Oh. Okay."
Legolas, who had been silent through most of this, valiantly offered Lily his blanket so she wouldn't have to sleep on the ground. Lily, of course, accepted.
About halfway through the night, the entire company was alerted of another presence by Lucky's frantic bark. Or should I say, presences.
"Back! Back, you foul demon from afar!"
CRASH! CRASH! BOOM! BREAKY-NESS!
Two figures crashed into the campsite.
"Uh... Legolas?"
"Yes, Lily?"
"That is an emu."
"Oh."
"I shall slay you!" The mysterious figure fighting the emu yelled.
The two figures, one man and one emu, clashed violently for a moment, then rolled out of the campsite.
"Did that scare you too?" Sulel asked.
The other two just nodded lamely.
"Wasn't that Aragorn?" Legolas asked.
"Was he trying to fend off that emu with a cereal spoon?" Lily asked.
"Since when did he sound so much like Gandalf?" Sulel asked.
Suddenly, the mysterious man ran back into the campsite.
"Aragorn?"
" 'Tis I, Aragorn, King of Gondor. Behold my power and might!"
"Aragorn, you're scaring me."
"Oh, uh, sorry." Aragorn said lamely.
"What were you doing out here anyway?" Lily demanded.
"Oh, uh, that. Arwen and I had a fight, and she kicked me out."
"All the way out here?" Sulel exclaimed while Aragorn just nodded.
"Why were you fending off that emu with a cereal spoon?" Lily finally said, asking the question that everyone had been waiting for.
"An emu, is that what it was? Well, it stole my sword." Aragorn answered simply.
"What?!"
"Well, I was out here in the forest making camp when I heard this noise. I looked around, and right behind me was this gigantic bird. I tried to fend it off with my sword, but to no avail. The bird took my sword and began to chase me with it. I dived and grabbed the first thing I found. A cereal spoon. So, I fought with it all the way to here, and then I tackled it, and it ran away with my sword."
"Oh." They all chorused.
"So, what are you doing?" Aragorn asked conversationally.
"Bran's been kidnapped!" Sulel exclaimed.
And with that, the seriousness of the situation set in.
"Bran's been kidnapped?" Aragorn repeated.
"No, what did I just say?" Sulel asked, exasperated. If the company around him didn't wise up, maybe he would be the wiser to make good on Lily's threat and find Bran himself. He certainly wouldn't mind getting all the glory.
"No need to get sarcastic." Aragorn admonished lightly.
Sulel growled.
"Did you just growl at me?"
********
"Tell me where the all-seeing mystical oracle of Rivendell is!"
"Take a bath!"
"Tell me!"
"You smell."
"Tell me!'
"No!"
"Tell me!"
********
"I'm tired!" Lily yelled.
"I'm tired too, of your yelling 'I'm tired'!" Sulel screamed.
"Well, well, you've got pointy ears!"
"What kind of insult is THAT, stupid human."
"Hey!" Aragorn perked up.
"No offense, Aragorn."
"Oh. None taken."
"Back to me." Lily said. " It's a good insult, you elfy, thing."
"Oh help. I'm so devised by your caustic barbs."
"Yeah? Well, you should be."
"You're pathetic!"
"You're ugly!"
"I'm not! I'm an elf. Wisest and fairest of all beings."
"You'd really like to think that, wouldn't you?"
"At least I can't die."
"Not necessarily, elf. You can die of a broken heart. Mr. I-can't-get-a-date-with-MY-best-friend, Bran."
"Ooh." Legolas and Aragorn winced. "Low blow."
Sulel gasped. Lily smirked. "Ha ha. Got you there, haven't I?"
Sulel sniffed angrily and stalked away. Aragorn pulled out a notebook.
Score, Lily; One, Sulel; Zip.
~~~~~
Hi there! Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Okay, since I never remember to add these things at the
beginning of stories, IT'S DISCLAIMER TIME! Here goes; I do not own any part of Lord of the Rings,
I never have, never will. However, I do own Bran, Sulel, Saurman, Head Thing/Man, and any other products
of my insane mind. Lily is property of my dear friend, Legalan Greenleaf.
Okay, now that that's over with, I would like to thank Asa (can't do the nifty circle-y thing on my
computer), KarateElf (again), and Green and Silver (HI ROSIE!). Thank you all for reviewing! You all
make me very happy!! Alright, well that's it for now, the next chapter will be out in two shakes
of a hippo's butt... no, wait, lamb's tail.