CHAPTER SEVEN
A howl echoed throughout the forest of Foresty-ness.
Lily couldn't sleep.
So she was howling. No, no, wait. That was the wolves that had been tailing the company for ten miles. But the elves hadn't heard the pitter patter of dainty wolf feet over the 'ghostly' voice of Arwen.
"Legolas!" Lily said, roughly shaking the prince awake.
"What?" Legolas asked irritably.
"I'm cold and there are wolves after me. Us. Us."
"Go back to sleep."
"Wolves, Leggie, WOLVES!"
"Fine." The elf rolled over and got up... wearing only tartan plaid boxers.
"Wow..." Lily said, her eyes bulging.
"Where are the wolves?" He asked. "I see no wolves."
"Use your 'acute' elf hearing." Lily said.
"Oh...... Now I hear wolves."
Legolas grabbed up his bow and arrows and followed the snoring wolf noises.
Except... they weren't wolves.
"I'm hungry, Mr. Frodo."
"For the last goddamn time, Samwise, go TO SLEEP!"
"I'm sorry, Mr. Frodo."
"Shut.....up..... OR I'LL DO SOMETHING MEAN AND NOT NICE!"
"Stop being such a Gloomy Gus. Put a smile on!"
"Ronald McDonald?" Lily asked, confusedly.
"Oh! Who are you!?" Sam shrieked. Girlishly. Ha Ha.
"HI!" Lily said in her trademark peppy happy hyper voice.
"She's.... Not with me." Legolas assured the four frighted hobbits.
"Meep!" Lily declared randomly.
"Nope, nope, not with us.." The rest of the company said, for they seemed to have appeared around the hobbit's campfire.
"Outrage!" Declared Lily.
"Don't know her at all. In fact, she just sort of randomly popped up one day." Boromir said.
"Actually, you're right, Grease Monkey!" Lily said, all smiles and cheer once again.
"Curse you! I am not Grease Monkey!"
"Yes you are." Aragorn said.
"Damnit."
"The side of the Fellowship we never saw. And, Boromir, I thought you were dead." Pippin exclaimed.
"Nope." Boromir said, casting a dark look at Legolas and Aragorn. "Never was."
"Oh." Pippin said, wisely not requesting an explanation.
*******
"So, why aren't you torturing her again?" Saurman asked after their little 'snack.'
"Because, she's helping me with my mental problems like you never did." Head Thing/Man replied as if this was as obvious as the fact that the sun rose and set each day.
"I have mental problems too..." Saurman said dejectedly.
"For five hundred bucks and my freedom, I can help you too!"
"Oh, okay... wait a second... using... mind... tricks..." Saurman's eye twitched.
"EWWW!!!! He's got a case of twitchy eye!!!!!!!" Bran exclaimed in disgust.
******
"He's been soooo grumpy ever since that little green creature-" Pip started
"You mean Golum?" Lily asked.
"Yeah, that slimy green thing! Ever since that thing bit off his finger, he's been so twisted and not himself. All he does is scream and yell, scream and yell." Merry said with a nervous glance at Frodo.
"YOU COOKED THE BACON TOO GODDAMNM LONG, SAMWISE GAMGEE!" Frodo screamed at a terrified Sam. Lily stared at Frodo.
"You know, my dear hobbit, you need to loosen up." She declared.
*~ONE HOUR LATER~*
"Do the Funky Chicken, do the Funky Chicken!" Frodo and Lily sang in unison, both really off-key.
"We'll just be going now..." the company of elves and crazy humans backed slowly away from Frodo. Legolas remembered to grab Lily's flapping arm just before they all ran away from the hobbits.
~~~~~~~~
Alrighty, hello, once again. Molly of Ozz here. This chapter has no point except to get to chapter eight. But that's okay, because chapter eight is REEEEALLY good, and I know that the limited few who are
actually reading this (Asa, that's you) will like it a whole lot. It's the return of Bran! Yay! I shall post chapter eight once Legalan gets off her LAZY butt and sends it to me (*cough*get a move on*cough*) okay, so
we've established that this was a stupid chapter. Now, Lord of the Rings does not belong to me.
AND AND AND, I want you to REVIEW! Heck, even flames are okay. I just NEED FEEDBACK!!!!!!!!!!!! C'mon people, make my poor pathetic life a little bit brighter. I'll be forever grateful... Please?
A howl echoed throughout the forest of Foresty-ness.
Lily couldn't sleep.
So she was howling. No, no, wait. That was the wolves that had been tailing the company for ten miles. But the elves hadn't heard the pitter patter of dainty wolf feet over the 'ghostly' voice of Arwen.
"Legolas!" Lily said, roughly shaking the prince awake.
"What?" Legolas asked irritably.
"I'm cold and there are wolves after me. Us. Us."
"Go back to sleep."
"Wolves, Leggie, WOLVES!"
"Fine." The elf rolled over and got up... wearing only tartan plaid boxers.
"Wow..." Lily said, her eyes bulging.
"Where are the wolves?" He asked. "I see no wolves."
"Use your 'acute' elf hearing." Lily said.
"Oh...... Now I hear wolves."
Legolas grabbed up his bow and arrows and followed the snoring wolf noises.
Except... they weren't wolves.
"I'm hungry, Mr. Frodo."
"For the last goddamn time, Samwise, go TO SLEEP!"
"I'm sorry, Mr. Frodo."
"Shut.....up..... OR I'LL DO SOMETHING MEAN AND NOT NICE!"
"Stop being such a Gloomy Gus. Put a smile on!"
"Ronald McDonald?" Lily asked, confusedly.
"Oh! Who are you!?" Sam shrieked. Girlishly. Ha Ha.
"HI!" Lily said in her trademark peppy happy hyper voice.
"She's.... Not with me." Legolas assured the four frighted hobbits.
"Meep!" Lily declared randomly.
"Nope, nope, not with us.." The rest of the company said, for they seemed to have appeared around the hobbit's campfire.
"Outrage!" Declared Lily.
"Don't know her at all. In fact, she just sort of randomly popped up one day." Boromir said.
"Actually, you're right, Grease Monkey!" Lily said, all smiles and cheer once again.
"Curse you! I am not Grease Monkey!"
"Yes you are." Aragorn said.
"Damnit."
"The side of the Fellowship we never saw. And, Boromir, I thought you were dead." Pippin exclaimed.
"Nope." Boromir said, casting a dark look at Legolas and Aragorn. "Never was."
"Oh." Pippin said, wisely not requesting an explanation.
*******
"So, why aren't you torturing her again?" Saurman asked after their little 'snack.'
"Because, she's helping me with my mental problems like you never did." Head Thing/Man replied as if this was as obvious as the fact that the sun rose and set each day.
"I have mental problems too..." Saurman said dejectedly.
"For five hundred bucks and my freedom, I can help you too!"
"Oh, okay... wait a second... using... mind... tricks..." Saurman's eye twitched.
"EWWW!!!! He's got a case of twitchy eye!!!!!!!" Bran exclaimed in disgust.
******
"He's been soooo grumpy ever since that little green creature-" Pip started
"You mean Golum?" Lily asked.
"Yeah, that slimy green thing! Ever since that thing bit off his finger, he's been so twisted and not himself. All he does is scream and yell, scream and yell." Merry said with a nervous glance at Frodo.
"YOU COOKED THE BACON TOO GODDAMNM LONG, SAMWISE GAMGEE!" Frodo screamed at a terrified Sam. Lily stared at Frodo.
"You know, my dear hobbit, you need to loosen up." She declared.
*~ONE HOUR LATER~*
"Do the Funky Chicken, do the Funky Chicken!" Frodo and Lily sang in unison, both really off-key.
"We'll just be going now..." the company of elves and crazy humans backed slowly away from Frodo. Legolas remembered to grab Lily's flapping arm just before they all ran away from the hobbits.
~~~~~~~~
Alrighty, hello, once again. Molly of Ozz here. This chapter has no point except to get to chapter eight. But that's okay, because chapter eight is REEEEALLY good, and I know that the limited few who are
actually reading this (Asa, that's you) will like it a whole lot. It's the return of Bran! Yay! I shall post chapter eight once Legalan gets off her LAZY butt and sends it to me (*cough*get a move on*cough*) okay, so
we've established that this was a stupid chapter. Now, Lord of the Rings does not belong to me.
AND AND AND, I want you to REVIEW! Heck, even flames are okay. I just NEED FEEDBACK!!!!!!!!!!!! C'mon people, make my poor pathetic life a little bit brighter. I'll be forever grateful... Please?