-=*=- Prelude to Austria -=*=-
Chapter XIV
Neil guided me over to one of the benches and asked me to sit down. He sat next to me, but he seemed very stiff and formal to me this afternoon.
I wanted to break the silence between us, so I relayed to Neil all of the things that I had learned since coming to Perkins. He seemed very impressed with all I had learned since my arrival.
"But I have to admit Neil, that I miss everyone! How are the people back in the Cove? The Spencer's…how are they coping after the death of Fairlight? And the McHone's! How are they coping with the death of Tom? How are Miss Alice and David? Is Mountie O'Teale still progressing in her speech?…" My words suddenly tumbled out one on top of the other.
"Slow down Christy!!" Neil chuckled. "One question at a time, please! I'll tell you everything you want to know, but you have to give me time to answer them, and may I add… You need to breathe once in a while as well, Love!" We both laughed.
"Sorry Neil. I've just had everyone on my mind so much lately."
"I understand. I've been just as anxious to hear about all that you've been doing since you came to Perkins. And may I say, I am very glad to see and hear of all of your progress.
"Now!" He went on. "About the folks back in the Cove… The Spencer's are coping. Clara and Zady have to take time off from school to care for things at home. You know that task most often falls to the oldest, so Clara has to miss a lot more school. Zady and John try to bring her school assignments home to her so she doesn't fall too far behind, but you know how it goes when these kids have to take over chores at home, school is no longer a top priority. There aren't a lot of choices in this situation though. I wish things could be different for them, but they can't."
"I know. I did my best while I was there. As you said, change doesn't come easily to the people of Cutter Gap."
"The McHone's are doing whatever they can to survive. I wish I could do more for them, but they won't allow me to. Alice has offered Opal a position at the mission. Hopefully Opal will accept. Then she'll be better able to provide for her family. Isaak has had a lot thrust upon him all at once. David's been helping him, but he's just not old enough to be the man of the house yet!"
"I pray for them every night. I wish there was more we could do for them. Their mountain pride gets in the way so often."
"I know Christy. But they were surviving long before you *or I* came along and they will continue to do so long after we're gone!" Neil declared.
"I suppose." I admitted.
"Well, to continue with your questions. Alice and David are plodding along. Doing the best they can, one step at a time just as they did while you were there." Neil paused. "Everyone else is pretty much business as usual. You know how it goes." I nodded. "Oh yes, Mountie O'Teale, asked me to give you something. If you don't mind."
"What is it?"
"A hug." Neil said rather shyly.
"I don't mind a bit, Neil."
He tried his best to be a gentlemen and to give me the same hug Mountie intended. I didn't care. It just felt wonderful to feel his arms around me once again. I couldn't thank Mountie enough for her present!! I couldn't help but sigh at the feel of his arms.
Neil sighed also, leading me to believe he felt very much the same as I did. He held me longer then I'm sure Mountie would have. But that certainly didn't *bother* me in the least!!
"Mountie really misses me, huh?" I tried to tease Neil.
"She's always asking how you're doing." He was skirting the subject. But I couldn't come right out and ask him what my heart truly wanted to know.
We sat in silence for quite some time. When finally Neil spoke once again. "Christy, I know you have a lot of questions on your mind. I know I feel the greatest need to tell you why it is that I ran out of the hospital the way I did."
"Neil you don't…" I wanted to say something but he interrupted me.
"Christy please let me finish before you say anything, alright?" I nodded my head without saying a word.
"I wanted more then anything to have you as my bride, but when you came to the understanding that you couldn't see and you brought up all of the reasons why you couldn't become my wife I panicked. I suddenly felt embarrassed for ever having asked you. I came to the realization of what an arduous task it would be for you to be my wife under the *best* of circumstances. When you laid it all out in front of me, I was sorry I *ever* expected you to be my wife, I got to thinking about where you came from and the life you lived, and where I came from and the life I lived. I become conscious how very different we are from each other. I felt unworthy of you. You are a beautiful young woman with a bright future before you. There is so much more for you in the city then I could ever even begin to offer you in Cutter Gap. I suddenly felt worthless again and I had to get back to where I belonged."
I felt the tears in my eyes. I never liked to hear Neil bring up the old feelings of worthlessness which Margaret had so engrained in him during their life together. How anyone could ever have treated him the way she had, was beyond my realm of understanding!!
"Neil, you know I don't look on you that way! I never have! I didn't mean the things I said to be a reflection on you and what you had to offer, but to be a reflection on *me* and what I have to offer *you*!! I would never say you were worthless!! I'm sorry I made you feel that way!" I began to sob. He took my hand and patted it. Trying to console me somewhat.
"It's not that bad Christy. What I really wanted to say to you now is that I've had a lot of time to think through what I did. I started a few letters to you, but I thought your life would be so much better if I just stayed out of it." He paused as he rose and began to pace in front of the bench. "But I can't! Stay away, I mean." He took a deep, deep breath and went on.
"Christy. What I want to say to you is this. I've received a letter from Professor Kinnigan. Perhaps you remember me speaking of him the day you fell into the river? Anyway… I had told him of my dream to someday be associated with Dr. Ernst Fuchs in Vienna, Austria.
"Well, it seems he wrote Dr. Fuchs and told him of my research and techniques in the treatment of Trachoma. Dr. Fuchs was very interested. Prof. Kinnigan sent him a copy of the article I wrote for the Southern Medical Journal. Prof. Kinnigan mentioned my desire to one day be an associate of Dr. Fuchs." He paused as he sat beside me and took my hand. "Christy, the letter said that Dr. Fuchs was going to make an offer to me, to be his associate. I received a letter from Dr. Fuchs shortly there after. Christy, I'm here on my way to Austria. I'll be there for at least a year, most likely longer."
I was speechless. Neil was moving away? Far away! For at least a year! I tried to hold back the tears which stung my eyes, but I could not. What could I say? I opened my mouth to try to say 'Congratulations.' But nothing would come out. I tried again and again, but the lump in my throat prevented anything from coming forth. The stress was beginning to give me a splitting headache. I had been getting them periodically since I awoke from the coma. I pressed my hands to the side of my head trying to keep the pain from increasing but the attempt was futile.
"What's wrong?" Neil asked with deep concern.
"It's another headache." I managed to squeak out. I couldn't get out the rest.
"I know what you mean, Love." He took me in his arms. "Is there anything I can do for you?"
"There's not much that can be done. I try not to take anything for the pain unless it gets unbearable. It puts me to sleep!" I wanted to scream, but didn't.
"I'm sorry if I caused this, Christy!" Neil was nearly frantic. "I didn't mean for this to happen!"
"It's not really your announcement that did this, Neil. I've been getting these off and on since…" The pain increase substantially and I was unable to continue.
"I see." Neil said as he began to rub my temples.
"That feels good, but what really helps is if you just keep a constant pressure on my temples."
"Counter pressure." Neil offered.
"That's right. Dr. Wagner said it's pressure behind my eyes from the trauma. There's not much he or anyone else can do about it." I leaned back against Neil. I could at least enjoy his company for as long as he would be here. "When are you leaving?" I asked, trying to get my mind off the pain.
"My ship leaves in ten days." Neil paused. "This headache of yours is sort of a blessing in disguise."
"How is that!?!" I nearly yelled, trying to fathom this line of thinking.
"Well, before I left the hospital, I spoke with Dr. Wagner one last time before I went home. He told me that you would have a better chance of receiving your sight back, or at the very least, receiving the proper care you need, if I could get you to Austria or Germany. But at the time neither your parents, nor I had the means to get you there. But now…" He stopped as he pulled something from his pocket and placed some papers into my hand. "I've gotten help from a dear friend of mine and his family from Knoxville who graduated from medical school with. He offered to pay my fare to Austria, train and ship, all the way there. These papers in your hand are their… wedding gift…" He paused as he took a deep breath again. "to us… If you'll have me, that is." He finished.
Astonished I sat up, headache and all and turned toward him. I know I had my mouth open. I couldn't believe I had heard what Neil just said.
"Christy… I'm asking you to marry me and come with me to Austria. Now before you say no, I want to point out a few things to you. We'll be living in the city. There are school's for the blind in Vienna, some of the best in the world I'm told. I'll be working a regularly scheduled job, so I'll be home with you at the same time everyday, or at least most of the time. Best of all, they are the most advanced in treatment of the eye! If there is anywhere, in the world, that you could go to get your eyesight back… this is *the* place that can do it! I feel confident about taking you with me. Not just because you *will* get your eyesight back, even if you don't I'd be proud to call you my wife! I've been praying about asking you to marry me again. In fact I've spent months doing just that. I feel that this is the right thing for us, both.
"I can't go on like this, without you! I need you beside me! You've demonstrated it here this afternoon by reassuring me once again that I'm not as worthless as I think I am. Without you I can't go on any longer." He paused again as he reached into his pocket again.
Neil lifted my left hand and once again placed his ring on my finger. "Christy, I need you. I can't go on another day without you, let alone travel to Austria on my own. Please come with me as Mrs. Neil MacNeill."
Once again I felt tears, but I also had a lot of questions that needed to be answered before I could even think of saying yes.
"Neil, what about when your time in Austria is over with? What do I do when you move back to the Cove?"
"I've thought it all out and I've decided that I can do more to help the people of the Cove if I move to Knoxville and work from there. I could do more to benefit people, especially those of the Cove, by working in trachoma research. By using my findings and what I've learned in Austria to help further education, training and research of the disease here.
"We'll still be in the city. You might even be able to get a job as a teacher again, if you want to."
I sat silently for a long while. This next question was one that I was dreading. But Neil had to hear it as well. "What about children Neil? How on earth could I ever care for and watch over a child?"
Neil was thinking, I could sense it. The silence was deafening. He was breathing deeply, as he concentrated. "I want you as my wife, Christy. If it means that I'll…or I mean, we'll never… umm, let me say, if we never do anything that could result in the conception of a child, I'll be happy to have you as my wife. I promise you that if you marry me, I will never pressure you into changing your mind about having a child. Only when you are absolutely sure you want a child would we ever even consider changing that aspect of our marriage."
I thought about that for a while. But I couldn't make a wise decision as long as this headache was raging on! "Neil, I need to think. And I can't think clearly as long as I have this headache. Could you please help me back to the dorm so I can take something for this headache and lie down for awhile?"
"Of course, Christy." Neil said as he rose from the bench and took my arm to help me up. He led me back and helped me up the stairs.
In the lobby we had to say good-bye and someone else would help me to my room. "I'll be back tomorrow, Love. Take care of yourself. Rest well." He leaned in to my ear and whispered. "I love you with all my heart Christy Huddleston. Please say yes!"
-=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=--=*=-
End of Chapter 14.
Chapter 15 Coming Soon!!