Petra: Okay, here's the second part of my installment in my series.
Kati: One more on the way, this one in the POV of Rikku.
Petra: Maybe, once/if I ever beat the game, I'll tell a story of what they think when it's over. I like the end of this part more than the last one, even if it's a little drawn out... okay a lot drawn out... you'll see what I mean. Luv to my koibito (though he'll never read this...) and to my best bud Jen-chan who I hope with all my heart will read this, maybe even has...
Kati: Just a little note: Charles de Lint is one of the best author out there. READ HIM, NOOOOOOW! Go! ^_-
DEDICATED: To everyone who has lost their innocence and anyone with heartfelt wishes.
WARNING: A little melancholy and I took some liberities... okay... I lot of liberities.
DISCLAIMER: Don't own them, wish I did, because then not only would I be rich but I wouldn't have to wait for the next game to come out!
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When I First Wished for Innocence
" . . . she laughed softly, inbetween moments of catching raindrops in her mouth, 'There's an old legend that says rain falls when angels cry. Imagine that, each drop of rain an angel's tear, fallen to us from Heaven.' Her smile faded, and she whispered to the sky, 'What could make even the angels weep so, when they have seen millenia of pain and joy?' " -Rose Argent; Rain (GW)
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TIME: During the Macalania scene, while they are waiting for Tidus and Yuna to come back...
I'll always remember when I first saw you, the small boy-child who would surprise me at every curve and turn. It's funny for me to think that I didn't notice you at first, that my eyes would simply slide past someone who would turn out to be so bright and important. When this is over, I wonder how I shall feel? Will I feel glad that this boy has come into my life, Wakka's life, Yuna's life, and turned it upside down, or shall I end up resenting you?
It hurts every time I see you, every time I see you smile at Yuna when you think no one is looking... And I remember back to when I first saw you smile like that...
....
....
....
I was worried, to say I wasn't worried would be lying, for I was. Yuna, like a sister to me, had been gone much longer and I was scared. I was sitting on the steps, still as a statue, as I always am when I am nervous, when I heard the familiar sound of the elevator coming down. My nervousness was replaced with anger. Didn't Wakka trust me to take care of her? I watched as the door opened and I stood, my anger narrowing my view until I saw only him.
"What are you doing here? Did you think we'd be able to handle it?" I asked, my teeth almost clenched in anger. Wakka looked at me nervously and said, "No, it's uh... it's just..." he stopped and then turned to you, standing quietly beside him. "See, I told you she gets mad easy."
At this you spoke, a voice that I had never heard before, a voice that was strange and new. The voice held no grief in it nor any hardships, it spoke of troubles but, at the same time, nothing horribly wrong. Never, in all my life had I heard a voice like that in Spira... I don't think I ever shall, either. I don't remember what you said, I was too surprised by your voice, though I believe I said something in return.
I stared at the blond boy that stood to the right and a little behind Wakka. You shook a little under my gaze but held strong, staring back at me with the happiest, clearest blue eyes I had ever seen in my life... and deep inside myself, I quaked under a gaze so full of innocence. Even as my mind registered the eyes it registered something else... you looked like Chappu... Chappu with eyes so bright the sky looked downcast in comparison... Chappu with the constant smile... Chappu...
My hear ached anew at this person that so looked like Chappu and I turned back to Wakka, anger that he would hurt me so replacing the grief that was tearing my insides again, and it was then that I heard a noise of a door opening. Anger melting away faster than I could cast ice, I turned with joy to see the girl that stood in front of me, unsteady from exhaustion and sweating from stress. When Yuna began to collapse I was surprised when you took a step forward, worry showing clearly on your face, though you stopped when Kamahri caught her. Then she smoothed her hair and stood up, saying, "I've done it! I have become a summoner!"
As Yuna looked up, I saw her lock gazes with you and I felt fear and ice settle over my heart when I saw your gazes meet. Yuna and you had potential to fall in love and, if Yuna were to be hurt, I would have to hurt you... but you looked so much like Chappu...
It was until much later, after I had made sure that Wakka warned you off, that I realized it was too late. When she asked you, Tidus, to be her guardian, I knew that she felt something for you, and I had known since the boat that you saw her as more than a friend, even if you didn't realize it yourself. I tired so hard to be cold to you, to distance you, but it was hard to stay cold to the only one of the trip who could smile and have it reach their eyes... who could laugh and mean it.
It was strange but after a while I began to see the world through your eyes and, every time I did, I was surprised by the beauty of it and, at the same time, the ugliness of it. As you made me explain things I found myself thinking about why those things were the way they were, wondering why we had them. I loathed you and cared for you, for daring to make me take a second look at the life this broken world was leading. I also began to see Yuna differently, I began to see her through the eyes of someone who saw her not as a Summoner first, daughter second, and then Yuna last, I began to see her as Yuna completely, with Summoner and daughter being only secondary titles. If she had a problem, just because she was a Summoner didn't mean she should be left alone, it mattered on why we thought she was upset.
I admit, during all this I wished that you wouldn't be so innocent, that you would forget how to smile and laugh and, now, I fear I got my wish... and I would give anything to take it back. You don't smile as much anymore and when you do it doesn't quite reach your eyes. Your laugh now sounds hollow, like a log that has been chewed away from termites and it isn't until close examination that you realize it is hollow. When I told you that I would be glad if Seymour married Yuna, I was lying, I was still scared for her.
It wasn't until I saw the look on your face that I realized how much you cared for her. The way you weren't concerned with the fact that she was marrying, but the fact that she might not be happy. So, then, when you talked to me again, I told you the truth, what I really meant. I told you not to love her then and you simply called, with a smile, "Of course not, Lulu, I love you!" When I gave you a warning look to be serious you simply said, "Of course." But, as I was walking away, I know I saw the pain of hidden feelings flash through your eyes as you whispered to yourself, "Too late."
Tidus, if I wish for your smile to come back, will it? If I wish for Yuna to marry for love too, would you take her? You're both so alone, and you and Yuna don't think I notice it but I do. I notice the way how when we're talking, you always seemed to get pushed out of the crowd; how Yuna seems to be surrounded by people but never actually with them. I wish for both of you to never be alone again... I wish that Seymour hadn't asked Yuna to marry him... I wish that I could give my heart to Wakka without feeling guilty... I wish Tidus didn't look like Chappu... I wish that Chappu hadn't died... I wish that I could be innocent... I wish that when we all smile, it would always reach our eyes... I wish... for peace...
Most of all, though... I wish that wishes always came true...
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IMPORTANT NOTE: For those of you that wish it, DUE TO MY SPORADIC postings, I am offering you, the readers, A MAILING LIST to sign up to. When I finally UPDATE, I will SEND OUT AN EMAIL informing those of you that are on the list that I have finally updated. I need you to EMAIL me, telling that you wish to sign up, and whether it's for ORIGINAL FICTION or FANFICTION. I WILL NOT accept those people that ask to be up on it in a review because I can't be sure that email is real. The mailing list will ALSO OFFER the TITLES of those works that I am posting, the COUPLES (if any) that are in it, which FANDOM it is from, and whether it is a SEQUEL to anything.
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Kati: So... what'd you think of it...
Petra: Read and review (I love you!!!) PLEASE!!! I'm going into depression... no one reviews... no one loves me... REVIEW!!! I give you Mountain Dew! (Hey, whoa, that rhymes... sorry, first day of school always kills many brain cells.) Kati: Anyway, there's an upside. If you review, you get thanked by name... Thanks (with lots of hugs and kisses) to:
EVILBUG: #^_^# Thanks! ... Sorry I didn't update sooner... I really tried. *sniffle* But I no longer have internet at house... *cries*
RIULYN: Arigatou! (thanks) Actually, at the beginning, I couldn't decide whether I liked Yuna or hated her. Whenever I really started to not like her, she would do something really strong or smart and I would really like her. Now, I like her. ^_^
CRYSTALEYES: I like. I like you! ^_^ Heehee, I hope you liked this part... I hope you haven't give up one me... COME BACK!!!!
ADJ: ##^_________^## There is no higher compliment you can pay to an author than 'this is worth the time reading' in today's world when no one has time to read! And I will keep writing!
"I dream of a day when I can open my eyes, and my dreams won't disappear."
-Rose Marie Ledam
~Petra Megami Assari~
*The Gentle Tiger Goddess*
Kati: One more on the way, this one in the POV of Rikku.
Petra: Maybe, once/if I ever beat the game, I'll tell a story of what they think when it's over. I like the end of this part more than the last one, even if it's a little drawn out... okay a lot drawn out... you'll see what I mean. Luv to my koibito (though he'll never read this...) and to my best bud Jen-chan who I hope with all my heart will read this, maybe even has...
Kati: Just a little note: Charles de Lint is one of the best author out there. READ HIM, NOOOOOOW! Go! ^_-
DEDICATED: To everyone who has lost their innocence and anyone with heartfelt wishes.
WARNING: A little melancholy and I took some liberities... okay... I lot of liberities.
DISCLAIMER: Don't own them, wish I did, because then not only would I be rich but I wouldn't have to wait for the next game to come out!
-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-
When I First Wished for Innocence
" . . . she laughed softly, inbetween moments of catching raindrops in her mouth, 'There's an old legend that says rain falls when angels cry. Imagine that, each drop of rain an angel's tear, fallen to us from Heaven.' Her smile faded, and she whispered to the sky, 'What could make even the angels weep so, when they have seen millenia of pain and joy?' " -Rose Argent; Rain (GW)
-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-
TIME: During the Macalania scene, while they are waiting for Tidus and Yuna to come back...
I'll always remember when I first saw you, the small boy-child who would surprise me at every curve and turn. It's funny for me to think that I didn't notice you at first, that my eyes would simply slide past someone who would turn out to be so bright and important. When this is over, I wonder how I shall feel? Will I feel glad that this boy has come into my life, Wakka's life, Yuna's life, and turned it upside down, or shall I end up resenting you?
It hurts every time I see you, every time I see you smile at Yuna when you think no one is looking... And I remember back to when I first saw you smile like that...
....
....
....
I was worried, to say I wasn't worried would be lying, for I was. Yuna, like a sister to me, had been gone much longer and I was scared. I was sitting on the steps, still as a statue, as I always am when I am nervous, when I heard the familiar sound of the elevator coming down. My nervousness was replaced with anger. Didn't Wakka trust me to take care of her? I watched as the door opened and I stood, my anger narrowing my view until I saw only him.
"What are you doing here? Did you think we'd be able to handle it?" I asked, my teeth almost clenched in anger. Wakka looked at me nervously and said, "No, it's uh... it's just..." he stopped and then turned to you, standing quietly beside him. "See, I told you she gets mad easy."
At this you spoke, a voice that I had never heard before, a voice that was strange and new. The voice held no grief in it nor any hardships, it spoke of troubles but, at the same time, nothing horribly wrong. Never, in all my life had I heard a voice like that in Spira... I don't think I ever shall, either. I don't remember what you said, I was too surprised by your voice, though I believe I said something in return.
I stared at the blond boy that stood to the right and a little behind Wakka. You shook a little under my gaze but held strong, staring back at me with the happiest, clearest blue eyes I had ever seen in my life... and deep inside myself, I quaked under a gaze so full of innocence. Even as my mind registered the eyes it registered something else... you looked like Chappu... Chappu with eyes so bright the sky looked downcast in comparison... Chappu with the constant smile... Chappu...
My hear ached anew at this person that so looked like Chappu and I turned back to Wakka, anger that he would hurt me so replacing the grief that was tearing my insides again, and it was then that I heard a noise of a door opening. Anger melting away faster than I could cast ice, I turned with joy to see the girl that stood in front of me, unsteady from exhaustion and sweating from stress. When Yuna began to collapse I was surprised when you took a step forward, worry showing clearly on your face, though you stopped when Kamahri caught her. Then she smoothed her hair and stood up, saying, "I've done it! I have become a summoner!"
As Yuna looked up, I saw her lock gazes with you and I felt fear and ice settle over my heart when I saw your gazes meet. Yuna and you had potential to fall in love and, if Yuna were to be hurt, I would have to hurt you... but you looked so much like Chappu...
It was until much later, after I had made sure that Wakka warned you off, that I realized it was too late. When she asked you, Tidus, to be her guardian, I knew that she felt something for you, and I had known since the boat that you saw her as more than a friend, even if you didn't realize it yourself. I tired so hard to be cold to you, to distance you, but it was hard to stay cold to the only one of the trip who could smile and have it reach their eyes... who could laugh and mean it.
It was strange but after a while I began to see the world through your eyes and, every time I did, I was surprised by the beauty of it and, at the same time, the ugliness of it. As you made me explain things I found myself thinking about why those things were the way they were, wondering why we had them. I loathed you and cared for you, for daring to make me take a second look at the life this broken world was leading. I also began to see Yuna differently, I began to see her through the eyes of someone who saw her not as a Summoner first, daughter second, and then Yuna last, I began to see her as Yuna completely, with Summoner and daughter being only secondary titles. If she had a problem, just because she was a Summoner didn't mean she should be left alone, it mattered on why we thought she was upset.
I admit, during all this I wished that you wouldn't be so innocent, that you would forget how to smile and laugh and, now, I fear I got my wish... and I would give anything to take it back. You don't smile as much anymore and when you do it doesn't quite reach your eyes. Your laugh now sounds hollow, like a log that has been chewed away from termites and it isn't until close examination that you realize it is hollow. When I told you that I would be glad if Seymour married Yuna, I was lying, I was still scared for her.
It wasn't until I saw the look on your face that I realized how much you cared for her. The way you weren't concerned with the fact that she was marrying, but the fact that she might not be happy. So, then, when you talked to me again, I told you the truth, what I really meant. I told you not to love her then and you simply called, with a smile, "Of course not, Lulu, I love you!" When I gave you a warning look to be serious you simply said, "Of course." But, as I was walking away, I know I saw the pain of hidden feelings flash through your eyes as you whispered to yourself, "Too late."
Tidus, if I wish for your smile to come back, will it? If I wish for Yuna to marry for love too, would you take her? You're both so alone, and you and Yuna don't think I notice it but I do. I notice the way how when we're talking, you always seemed to get pushed out of the crowd; how Yuna seems to be surrounded by people but never actually with them. I wish for both of you to never be alone again... I wish that Seymour hadn't asked Yuna to marry him... I wish that I could give my heart to Wakka without feeling guilty... I wish Tidus didn't look like Chappu... I wish that Chappu hadn't died... I wish that I could be innocent... I wish that when we all smile, it would always reach our eyes... I wish... for peace...
Most of all, though... I wish that wishes always came true...
-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._
IMPORTANT NOTE: For those of you that wish it, DUE TO MY SPORADIC postings, I am offering you, the readers, A MAILING LIST to sign up to. When I finally UPDATE, I will SEND OUT AN EMAIL informing those of you that are on the list that I have finally updated. I need you to EMAIL me, telling that you wish to sign up, and whether it's for ORIGINAL FICTION or FANFICTION. I WILL NOT accept those people that ask to be up on it in a review because I can't be sure that email is real. The mailing list will ALSO OFFER the TITLES of those works that I am posting, the COUPLES (if any) that are in it, which FANDOM it is from, and whether it is a SEQUEL to anything.
-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._
Kati: So... what'd you think of it...
Petra: Read and review (I love you!!!) PLEASE!!! I'm going into depression... no one reviews... no one loves me... REVIEW!!! I give you Mountain Dew! (Hey, whoa, that rhymes... sorry, first day of school always kills many brain cells.) Kati: Anyway, there's an upside. If you review, you get thanked by name... Thanks (with lots of hugs and kisses) to:
EVILBUG: #^_^# Thanks! ... Sorry I didn't update sooner... I really tried. *sniffle* But I no longer have internet at house... *cries*
RIULYN: Arigatou! (thanks) Actually, at the beginning, I couldn't decide whether I liked Yuna or hated her. Whenever I really started to not like her, she would do something really strong or smart and I would really like her. Now, I like her. ^_^
CRYSTALEYES: I like. I like you! ^_^ Heehee, I hope you liked this part... I hope you haven't give up one me... COME BACK!!!!
ADJ: ##^_________^## There is no higher compliment you can pay to an author than 'this is worth the time reading' in today's world when no one has time to read! And I will keep writing!
"I dream of a day when I can open my eyes, and my dreams won't disappear."
-Rose Marie Ledam
~Petra Megami Assari~
*The Gentle Tiger Goddess*