Petra: Well, here's the third part of my trilogy meaning, guess what, this is the last one unless A) something else inspires me or B) I beat the game; whichever comes first. I don't know, not much going on with me, mostly just school and stuff. I'm learning Spanish though (be proud!).
Kati: *says something fluently in Spanish and then laughs, pointing at Petra*
Petra: Stupid Spanish speaking muse... Anyways, I am right now playing FFX whenever I find the time (which isn't much) and am embarressed to admit I bought the cheat-book. Now, before you jump down my throat, remember, I play this because of the characters and such, not for thinking. I barely have time to play it now, let alone try to figure out what the hell to do. For thinking games, there is Gabriel Knight and The Longest Journey. ^_^
DEDICATED: For all those who have loved and not been loved in return
WARNING: Again, spoilers and angsty
DISCLAIMER: FFX ain't mine... sadly... because if it did I would find whose looks they based Tidus off of and not even a tunderstorm would keep me away...
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When I First Believed in Faith
"It is a simple word... a single word... just three letters... but it carries with it dashed hopes and crushed dreams... 'Had'..." -Danyale; The Paths We Choose (GW)
-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._
TIME: While Tidus and Yuna are at Lake Macalania, same time as Lulu's thoughts...
I sometimes wonder what would have happened if things had turned out differently, if you hadn't spent so little time in my presence, if we had spent as much time together as you did with Yunie. Ever since you came along I've been asking myself a lot of questions, questions I can't answer... that I don't want to answer.
You know, you remind me of sunshine, with your blonde hair and sky blue eyes and tan skin and sunny disposition... I'm like the moon that hides behind the sun or uses its rays to make itself look bright. I don't remember ever actually being really happy... but you are, all the time, since the day I first met you...
....
....
....
I remembered how shocked I'd been when I'd walked through the door and found you inside, dressed in your pathetically thin clothing, obviously very cold, and confronting a fiend nonetheless. I believe my first thought was for your clothing, how strange and bright they looked, and the second was that you were cute.
You had a strange look about you and reminded me of a paradox, except that you were paradox in a human guise. Your clothes were like those of a commoner but the cloth was obviously richly made, making me wonder exactly where you came from. Your skin had the tan look of someone who spends lots of time out in the sun but for enjoyment, not for work. You held the sword with ease, but it is the ease that comes with someone who is a natural at fighting, not one that is used battles. Then there was the way you acted, as if you had only a few cares in the world and, at the same time, a horrible burden weighing you down. Like I said, a paradox.
At first I thought you might be Al Bhed, you almost looked so much like me, but then I realized that your pupils weren't swirled. Instead your eyes were normal with a round pupil... and were as blue as if a piece of the sky had fallen into them. Who were you? After the battle my thoughts so preoccupied me that I almost didn't notice the others hassling you, but when I finally did I was scared. How was a supposed to get you back to the base? You could so easily manipulate me, though I know you didn't even think I could talk your language, and you could do that because I was attracted to you. I think that if it hadn't turned out different, I believe I would have fallen very madly in love with you, Tidus.
What am I saying? I did fall, and fell hard at that... I think I first started to realize it when I saw you protecting me in battle, even though you hadn't known me for very long by then, and even though I had punched you in the stomach and knocked you out. There were some points where I was so badly hurt that I wouldn't have time to heal myself before I was attacked but, without hesitation, you would toss me a potion that you had. Then, when you realized that I could really understand your language, you threw your arms around my waist and twirled me around and around... I had never felt so right before in my entire life and I knew I was falling for you... though I didn't even know you... and I'm sure I saw you falling for me, or at the very least you were attracted.
When you told me about your life, at first I thought that you were joking or that someone had knocked you on the head or that Sin's toxin had gotten to you... but when I saw the look on your face when I told you that Zanarkand had been destroyed for a thousand years, I knew that you were who you said you were. It wasn't until you had been thrown overboard and supposedly died, that I realized I had been wrong; I hadn't been falling for you... I had already fallen. What a mess! I had known you for less than a day and I... loved you. I tried to find you, following the rumor that there was a handsome young man traveling with the Lady Summoner Yuna, who played blitzball better than the best players and who the rival team claimed had been told them was from Zanarkand. I knew it was you and, as fast as I could, I followed the rumor, but by the time I got there you were already gone.
I gave you up for dead after that and turned back to kidnapping the summoners, helping my father and brother. That was when I saw you, I had just finished capturing Yunie when I saw two splashes on the surface and then... you were there... I found I suddenly had no will to fight, no will to push the buttons in front of me, no will to hurt you. I began to fight back, very half-heartedly at that, and that was when I made my decision. As you were obviously Yunie's guardian, I would be hers too and then I could be with you. I was sure you felt something for me, as we traveled onward. Like how on the Thunder Plains you stayed by my side when I tried to get them to stay at the small inn. Then, afterwards, as they all went in and I was about to follow, how you grabbed my upper arm gently and pulled me into a hug. My world was complete. After that, though, I began to see past my joy and see the way that Yunie was looking at you, the longing and pain in her eyes, and I began to pay more attention to what you were doing... and you were returning her looks. ... ... It hurt, to know that your smile wasn't for me, that your sunshine wasn't mine to hold...
It hurt like a dagger in my breast... At least, it hurt until after the killing of Seymour and beneath the ice when you told me... When you said something that meant more to me than anything else in the world could. You called me a friend, the only person who I had ever heard call me a friend vocally that was not an Al Bhed... and I realized that basking in your sunlight was enough for me, that I did not need to possess it. I will continue to love you, though, but, who knows, maybe I'll find that you weren't my real love, that some one else is.
It's funny to watch you and Yunie, the way you don't know how she feels, though everyone else does, and how you almost don't even seem to realize that you love her yourself... yet... And now... now... now you know Yunie's secret, the fate of the summoners... the horrible, awful truth of Yevon. Will your smile no longer return to your face? Will the sun no longer shine from the midst of your eyes? Did you stop smiling...? It's hard to tell...
You don't realize how much you mean to everyone, how your smiling face and eyes full of everything but Sin make us realize what we're really fighting for. A world full of people like you, who laugh when they feel like it and who cry instead of holding back the tears. It makes me think, sometimes, that Yunie's sacrifice is almost worth it, to see more people like you... almost...
Everyone believes in you, do you understand, Tidus? Do you know how much believing that you come from a place without Sin means to us? To see someone who knows what it is like to live without constant death? Everyone believes in you so they can keep going on, everyone has faith in you to keep smiling and, while it's sometimes forced, you can still laugh... and we have faith that you'll continue to smile so that we can continue to believe in a world without Sin.
Tidus, tell me more about this place without Sin... Will you take me with you if you go back? Please... take me with... take all of us... if only for a moment, take us away from duty, from pain, from war, from a lifetime of fighting and death... take us to a place... where Sin doesn't exist... Take us to Zanarkand!
-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._
IMPORTANT NOTE: For those of you that wish it, DUE TO MY SPORADIC postings, I am offering you, the readers, A MAILING LIST to sign up to. When I finally UPDATE, I will SEND OUT AN EMAIL informing those of you that are on the list that I have finally updated. I need you to EMAIL me, telling that you wish to sign up, and whether it's for ORIGINAL FICTION or FANFICTION. I WILL NOT accept those people that ask to be up on it in a review because I can't be sure that email is real. The mailing list will ALSO OFFER the TITLES of those works that I am posting, the COUPLES (if any) that are in it, which FANDOM it is from, and whether it is a SEQUEL to anything.
-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._
Petra: Yes, I took liberties with Rikku. I think she liked him and I believed he started out liking her also. (See the dream that Tidus has with both Rikku and Yuna in it, at the beginning.) I think they definately could have fallen in love IF he hadn't met Yuna.
Kati: If Yuna and Rikku had both met him at the same time and spent the same amount of time in his company, I still believe he would have chosen Yuna.
Petra: Please remember that this is my opinion alone taken with the little hints from the story... -_-; okay... one hint: the dream. ^_^;
Kati: She doesn't have much, does she?
Petra: *ignoring Kati* Th' Lady Shadow told me that she felt as though Yuna and Tidus's relationship was always riding on her hope. Here's my opinion of their love. I believe that Yuna loves Tidus and, as for any person, she doesn't want to hurt him. She knows she will, though, when she summons the final aeon and, in the end, gets killed. Thus, there is no hope that they will ever be together (in her mind) because, as of this point in time, there is no way to summon the final aeon without dying.
Kati: Bummer.
Petra: Tidus knows this and it hurts her that he does. Also, when you're in love, the last thing you want to do is see the person you love changing for the worse and being unhappy. The fact of the matter is that Yuna's world is a broken and torn world; the idea that Tidus will be stuck there hurts her more than the thought of her own death, because it means that he will have to go through what she's gone through and I doubt she would wish that on her very worse enemy. Whew! I hope I explained enough.
Kati: Gawd, she talks a long time, don't she?
Petra: *glare*
Kati: Anways, thanks to:
TH' LADY SHADOW: ^_^; (But it wasn't a Tidus/Lulu paring...) Heehee, I'm glad you liked it! Yeah, I like that part too, but I like the ending of Lulu's better. Also, thanks for the constructive critism, I really need it... -_-;
CRON-DAWG: *giggle* Thanks, at first it started out as just a Yuna story and then it changed!
LULUFAN: Arigato! Actually, I quite like Lulu. I believe that she is a very strong, but sad, person. (And how can hate someone with that cool of a hairstyle!)
CYTHEN: ^_^ That's a great idea but... I have a little bit of a different view on it. She does get her say in though, but it's probably a lot different than what you expected.
GREY: Wow... do you really think so? ^______^ You know, it really helps that I like all the female characters in this one, unlike the other FFs. They're all so strong and sure of themselves, sometimes even more so than the males!
"I dream of a day when I can open my eyes, and my dreams won't disappear."
-Rose Marie Ledam
~Petra Megami Assari~
*The Gentle Tiger Goddess*
Kati: *says something fluently in Spanish and then laughs, pointing at Petra*
Petra: Stupid Spanish speaking muse... Anyways, I am right now playing FFX whenever I find the time (which isn't much) and am embarressed to admit I bought the cheat-book. Now, before you jump down my throat, remember, I play this because of the characters and such, not for thinking. I barely have time to play it now, let alone try to figure out what the hell to do. For thinking games, there is Gabriel Knight and The Longest Journey. ^_^
DEDICATED: For all those who have loved and not been loved in return
WARNING: Again, spoilers and angsty
DISCLAIMER: FFX ain't mine... sadly... because if it did I would find whose looks they based Tidus off of and not even a tunderstorm would keep me away...
-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._
When I First Believed in Faith
"It is a simple word... a single word... just three letters... but it carries with it dashed hopes and crushed dreams... 'Had'..." -Danyale; The Paths We Choose (GW)
-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._
TIME: While Tidus and Yuna are at Lake Macalania, same time as Lulu's thoughts...
I sometimes wonder what would have happened if things had turned out differently, if you hadn't spent so little time in my presence, if we had spent as much time together as you did with Yunie. Ever since you came along I've been asking myself a lot of questions, questions I can't answer... that I don't want to answer.
You know, you remind me of sunshine, with your blonde hair and sky blue eyes and tan skin and sunny disposition... I'm like the moon that hides behind the sun or uses its rays to make itself look bright. I don't remember ever actually being really happy... but you are, all the time, since the day I first met you...
....
....
....
I remembered how shocked I'd been when I'd walked through the door and found you inside, dressed in your pathetically thin clothing, obviously very cold, and confronting a fiend nonetheless. I believe my first thought was for your clothing, how strange and bright they looked, and the second was that you were cute.
You had a strange look about you and reminded me of a paradox, except that you were paradox in a human guise. Your clothes were like those of a commoner but the cloth was obviously richly made, making me wonder exactly where you came from. Your skin had the tan look of someone who spends lots of time out in the sun but for enjoyment, not for work. You held the sword with ease, but it is the ease that comes with someone who is a natural at fighting, not one that is used battles. Then there was the way you acted, as if you had only a few cares in the world and, at the same time, a horrible burden weighing you down. Like I said, a paradox.
At first I thought you might be Al Bhed, you almost looked so much like me, but then I realized that your pupils weren't swirled. Instead your eyes were normal with a round pupil... and were as blue as if a piece of the sky had fallen into them. Who were you? After the battle my thoughts so preoccupied me that I almost didn't notice the others hassling you, but when I finally did I was scared. How was a supposed to get you back to the base? You could so easily manipulate me, though I know you didn't even think I could talk your language, and you could do that because I was attracted to you. I think that if it hadn't turned out different, I believe I would have fallen very madly in love with you, Tidus.
What am I saying? I did fall, and fell hard at that... I think I first started to realize it when I saw you protecting me in battle, even though you hadn't known me for very long by then, and even though I had punched you in the stomach and knocked you out. There were some points where I was so badly hurt that I wouldn't have time to heal myself before I was attacked but, without hesitation, you would toss me a potion that you had. Then, when you realized that I could really understand your language, you threw your arms around my waist and twirled me around and around... I had never felt so right before in my entire life and I knew I was falling for you... though I didn't even know you... and I'm sure I saw you falling for me, or at the very least you were attracted.
When you told me about your life, at first I thought that you were joking or that someone had knocked you on the head or that Sin's toxin had gotten to you... but when I saw the look on your face when I told you that Zanarkand had been destroyed for a thousand years, I knew that you were who you said you were. It wasn't until you had been thrown overboard and supposedly died, that I realized I had been wrong; I hadn't been falling for you... I had already fallen. What a mess! I had known you for less than a day and I... loved you. I tried to find you, following the rumor that there was a handsome young man traveling with the Lady Summoner Yuna, who played blitzball better than the best players and who the rival team claimed had been told them was from Zanarkand. I knew it was you and, as fast as I could, I followed the rumor, but by the time I got there you were already gone.
I gave you up for dead after that and turned back to kidnapping the summoners, helping my father and brother. That was when I saw you, I had just finished capturing Yunie when I saw two splashes on the surface and then... you were there... I found I suddenly had no will to fight, no will to push the buttons in front of me, no will to hurt you. I began to fight back, very half-heartedly at that, and that was when I made my decision. As you were obviously Yunie's guardian, I would be hers too and then I could be with you. I was sure you felt something for me, as we traveled onward. Like how on the Thunder Plains you stayed by my side when I tried to get them to stay at the small inn. Then, afterwards, as they all went in and I was about to follow, how you grabbed my upper arm gently and pulled me into a hug. My world was complete. After that, though, I began to see past my joy and see the way that Yunie was looking at you, the longing and pain in her eyes, and I began to pay more attention to what you were doing... and you were returning her looks. ... ... It hurt, to know that your smile wasn't for me, that your sunshine wasn't mine to hold...
It hurt like a dagger in my breast... At least, it hurt until after the killing of Seymour and beneath the ice when you told me... When you said something that meant more to me than anything else in the world could. You called me a friend, the only person who I had ever heard call me a friend vocally that was not an Al Bhed... and I realized that basking in your sunlight was enough for me, that I did not need to possess it. I will continue to love you, though, but, who knows, maybe I'll find that you weren't my real love, that some one else is.
It's funny to watch you and Yunie, the way you don't know how she feels, though everyone else does, and how you almost don't even seem to realize that you love her yourself... yet... And now... now... now you know Yunie's secret, the fate of the summoners... the horrible, awful truth of Yevon. Will your smile no longer return to your face? Will the sun no longer shine from the midst of your eyes? Did you stop smiling...? It's hard to tell...
You don't realize how much you mean to everyone, how your smiling face and eyes full of everything but Sin make us realize what we're really fighting for. A world full of people like you, who laugh when they feel like it and who cry instead of holding back the tears. It makes me think, sometimes, that Yunie's sacrifice is almost worth it, to see more people like you... almost...
Everyone believes in you, do you understand, Tidus? Do you know how much believing that you come from a place without Sin means to us? To see someone who knows what it is like to live without constant death? Everyone believes in you so they can keep going on, everyone has faith in you to keep smiling and, while it's sometimes forced, you can still laugh... and we have faith that you'll continue to smile so that we can continue to believe in a world without Sin.
Tidus, tell me more about this place without Sin... Will you take me with you if you go back? Please... take me with... take all of us... if only for a moment, take us away from duty, from pain, from war, from a lifetime of fighting and death... take us to a place... where Sin doesn't exist... Take us to Zanarkand!
-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._
IMPORTANT NOTE: For those of you that wish it, DUE TO MY SPORADIC postings, I am offering you, the readers, A MAILING LIST to sign up to. When I finally UPDATE, I will SEND OUT AN EMAIL informing those of you that are on the list that I have finally updated. I need you to EMAIL me, telling that you wish to sign up, and whether it's for ORIGINAL FICTION or FANFICTION. I WILL NOT accept those people that ask to be up on it in a review because I can't be sure that email is real. The mailing list will ALSO OFFER the TITLES of those works that I am posting, the COUPLES (if any) that are in it, which FANDOM it is from, and whether it is a SEQUEL to anything.
-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._
Petra: Yes, I took liberties with Rikku. I think she liked him and I believed he started out liking her also. (See the dream that Tidus has with both Rikku and Yuna in it, at the beginning.) I think they definately could have fallen in love IF he hadn't met Yuna.
Kati: If Yuna and Rikku had both met him at the same time and spent the same amount of time in his company, I still believe he would have chosen Yuna.
Petra: Please remember that this is my opinion alone taken with the little hints from the story... -_-; okay... one hint: the dream. ^_^;
Kati: She doesn't have much, does she?
Petra: *ignoring Kati* Th' Lady Shadow told me that she felt as though Yuna and Tidus's relationship was always riding on her hope. Here's my opinion of their love. I believe that Yuna loves Tidus and, as for any person, she doesn't want to hurt him. She knows she will, though, when she summons the final aeon and, in the end, gets killed. Thus, there is no hope that they will ever be together (in her mind) because, as of this point in time, there is no way to summon the final aeon without dying.
Kati: Bummer.
Petra: Tidus knows this and it hurts her that he does. Also, when you're in love, the last thing you want to do is see the person you love changing for the worse and being unhappy. The fact of the matter is that Yuna's world is a broken and torn world; the idea that Tidus will be stuck there hurts her more than the thought of her own death, because it means that he will have to go through what she's gone through and I doubt she would wish that on her very worse enemy. Whew! I hope I explained enough.
Kati: Gawd, she talks a long time, don't she?
Petra: *glare*
Kati: Anways, thanks to:
TH' LADY SHADOW: ^_^; (But it wasn't a Tidus/Lulu paring...) Heehee, I'm glad you liked it! Yeah, I like that part too, but I like the ending of Lulu's better. Also, thanks for the constructive critism, I really need it... -_-;
CRON-DAWG: *giggle* Thanks, at first it started out as just a Yuna story and then it changed!
LULUFAN: Arigato! Actually, I quite like Lulu. I believe that she is a very strong, but sad, person. (And how can hate someone with that cool of a hairstyle!)
CYTHEN: ^_^ That's a great idea but... I have a little bit of a different view on it. She does get her say in though, but it's probably a lot different than what you expected.
GREY: Wow... do you really think so? ^______^ You know, it really helps that I like all the female characters in this one, unlike the other FFs. They're all so strong and sure of themselves, sometimes even more so than the males!
"I dream of a day when I can open my eyes, and my dreams won't disappear."
-Rose Marie Ledam
~Petra Megami Assari~
*The Gentle Tiger Goddess*