IV

THURSDAY:

It was a noticeably subdued Charlie who appeared in the Oval Office doorway. "Mr. President? Leo."

"Thank you, Charlie."

Leo hesitated, and Jed gave him a quiet smile. Leo had been awkward around him these past few days, unsure of how to approach him, and it was a constant reminder of things he wished he'd never let himself contemplate in the first place.

He hadn't slept a wink the previous night, and his wife's body beside him - normally a soothing presence like no other - had only made the night more torturous. He'd known she was awake, and she'd known he was awake, and neither of them had spoken because there wasn't anything to say. Only the weight of shared knowledge, hanging over their heads like the Sword of Damocles.

Today was the day they found out. Found out whether this was nothing more than the half-imagined aches and pains of a body getting older - or the beginning of the end of everything.

Leo shuffled his feet. "Looks like Sex-Ed's gonna take off," he offered after a moment.

"Yeah?"

"Toby's got two states implementing a pilot scheme, and it looks like a couple of others might be willing to jump on the bandwagon if it works."

"Good," he nodded slowly.

"And hate crimes... we're looking at getting aggressive, and-"

"Leo." Jed put him out of his misery with a single word, and waited for him to look up. "This isn't why you're here."

Leo bowed his head for a moment. "Your thing's this afternoon?" he asked.

"In a couple of hours."

"Do you want me to-?"

"Abbey's coming with me," Jed quickly cut him off. He knew Leo wanted to be by his side, but he couldn't cope with that support right now. Leo had stood by him so faithfully through everything - and now he might find out that his faith had been misplaced.

Arrogance, always arrogance; that was his downfall. He'd sold himself the uncertain truth that he could see this through to the finish - had sold it to himself, and in his arrogance had used his own conviction to sell it to the world. He'd told Leo he could do it. He'd told the staff he could do it. He'd told the people he could do it. He'd even, God help him, convinced Abbey against her better judgement to let him do it.

Well, now it was time to turn up the cards, and see if his bluff had been called.

"I could still come with you," Leo offered, and in his tone Jed heard the words he'd spoken two years ago. I could've been a friend.

And if he was a liar, then he was going to lie some more, because it hurt too much to hear that tone in the voice of his old friend. "Leo. You know this is probably nothing."

"Yeah."

But Leo didn't believe him, and Jed knew that even though he tried to hide the stiffness in his back when he stood up, Leo still saw.

CJ knew her success in avoiding Toby had to end sometime; she'd just been hoping that wouldn't happen until they got to senior staff, safely surrounded by other people. But no, there he was in her office doorway, doing a remarkable impression of some kind of melancholy ghost. At least, this was how she imagined being haunted would be; a silent presence that would stand and stare at you with soulful eyes until you had to say something or explode.

"Hey."

Well, that was something, wasn't it?

Toby just kept looking at her, dammit, until she had to look down at the floor. He came inside, and sat on the edge of her desk where Josh had sat the night before.

Josh was easy to deal with; transparent in his concern, and with his ever-active political brain, always simple to deflect. But Toby... Toby knew her too well. She could put up her walls, hide her weaknesses away from anybody else, but Toby had a disconcerting way of seeing through it all.

Plus, he asked questions without speaking. Which really wasn't fair.

"I'm okay," she said in answer to the query that was hovering between the two of them.

"Do you want me to-?"

There wasn't, in truth, really much he could offer to do, but in leaving the sentence open-ended he offered all of it. But she was CJ Cregg, White House press secretary, and she didn't need help.

"I'm really fine, Toby," she said more sharply.

The president's sick, my father's dying, and I'm fine. Peachy-keen, even.

"How's your father?" he asked quietly.

"Why are we talking about my father?" she demanded defensively.

"Because he's sick," he said, although he meant because the president's sick.

"He's dying, Toby." And she hadn't wanted that to come out, but it came out anyway. Her father was dying, and the president was sick, and she wasn't drawing that connection, because there wasn't a connection-

Toby opened his mouth to speak, but shut it again as Carol appeared in the doorway, apologetic smile in place as she hovered. "CJ?" She extended a note, and CJ took it, slipping on her glasses.

She read the note, and a sick feeling began to settle at the base of her stomach. "I'm gonna get ambushed in the briefing this morning," she told him.

"With what?" Toby asked.

CJ looked up and met his eyes. "Sam."

He was giving serious consideration to bolting out of the building. Unfortunately, in his current condition and with the Secret Service on his tail, he wasn't likely to get far.

Sensing his nerves without even looking at him, Abbey reached out and squeezed his hand. Jed squeezed back gratefully, and she laid her head on his shoulder to look up at him. "Are you ready?" she asked gently.

The time for false bravado was well over. "No," he admitted sincerely.

Abbey only smiled in reply, and kissed his forehead tenderly, as if he was one of the children needing their nerves bolstered before some pre-adolescent trial.

He only wished that this was such a challenge, to be laughed over in retrospect as nothing so big after all. But no amount of tricks with perspective could make this anything less than huge. Today, he found out whether he was fit to be the President of the United States.

Today, he found out where the rest of his life was going.

And as if that wasn't enough... he would be finding it out from a medical examination, of all things. He might have once got a kick out of having his wife as his own personal physician to play doctor with, but the real thing left him seriously cold. Being poked, prodded and scanned was not his idea of fun.

If he was forced to resign his position, Abbey could take her medical licence back. There; a plus side. He'd finally found one.

Not that he'd share it with Abbey. That was still too sore a subject, even now.

The silence stretched on.

"I hate getting MRIs done," he confessed, after a moment.

"I know."

"I hate being in an enclosed space like that."

"I know, honey, I'll be right outside."

"I don't want to do this." He looked her in the eye and smiled wryly. Abbey sighed, fondly, and then moved closer to wrap her arms around him in a warm hug.

"It's gonna be okay, babe, I promise." And when he tugged her tightly against him and buried his face in her hair, it was almost possible to believe it.

A soft sound from the doorway disturbed them from their embrace, and when Jed looked up Charlie was hovering awkwardly. "Mr. President?" he said tentatively.

He straightened up and disentangled himself from his wife. "We're ready?"

"Yes sir."

He and Abbey exchanged a silent glance that said everything they needed to. It was time to go and face the truth. No more room for wilful blindness or hesitation.

With his head held high and his wife's hand in his own, Jed Bartlet walked out to find what destiny had in store.