"We will be on the highest ridge looking out into Mordor in about a fortnight," said Boromir. "What! We're practically there," exclaimed Legolas. "Oh. Sorry. I used the wrong English term. What I meant was, before the dusk sets upon us." "Well that's a bit better" laughed Legolas as he ran ahead. "Wonder what he is in such a hurry for," said Sam. "Elves are strange folk," said Gimli. "Never have quite trusted them myself." "Surly your opinion on Elves has changed since Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn hospitality back in Lorien about a fortnight ago," said Boromir. "Boromir, if you can't use old English phrases correctly don't use them at all! What you meant was, many moons ago. "Once again Aragorn you are right. But as I have said before, Gondor has no king, Gondor needs no king. "I hate you Boromir," said Aragorn. "I hate you!" yelled Boromir. "I challenge you to a battle. Man to man. No swords," said Boromir. "I accept," said Aragorn. After about 30 seconds of sword clashing Aragorn cut off his arm. "Yes! I am victorious. O Lord please forgive me for be-limbing Boromir. "Watch out Aragorn!" exclaimed Sam. "Boromir! The fight is mine. Surrender. "What do you mean!" "Look! Your arm's off." "Its just a flesh wound." After about 10 more seconds of sword clashing Boromir's other arm fell to the ground with a sickening thud. "There. You can no longer wield a sword," said Aragorn. Boromir now starts kicking at Aragorn. "I am invincible!" cried Boromir. "I'll have your legs!" said Aragorn! In one swift motion Aragorn chopped both of Boromir's legs off. "Alright then, we'll call it a draw," said Boromir has the rest of the company walked away. About fifteen minutes later they caught up with Legolas at the top of the ridge. Legolas seemed to be scanning the country to the south. "What might you be doing there Mr. Legolas, if you don't mind me asking?" asked Sam. "Looking for Sauron," replied Legolas "Oh," said Sam with a look of confusion on his face. "Ah-ha," cried Legolas as he pulled out his briefcase. Legolas calmly opened his case and started screwing together some pieces of metal. "What might you be doing Legolas?" asked Aragorn. "I am piecing together an ancient Elven weapon. The sniper's rifle with a five foot barrel, .50 cal bullet and a 50x scope," replied Legolas as he laid down upon the dirt. "Oh," replied Aragorn who had absolutely no clue what Legolas was talking about. After a minute of intense silence there was a loud crack. "Well, Sauron dead. The war of the ring is over. "Hurray! Legolas killed Sauron!" "Hurray! Hurray!