A/N: This commercial contains content of a sick nature. If the idea of Flavored Tampons offends you, please skip this commercial!!!
Commercial Break
*RELENA. Tired of ordinary tampons designed for a virgin?
HEERO. Relena...
RELENA. Tired of them slipping out and making it appear that you have male genitalia?
HEERO. Relena!
RELENA. SHUT UP, SIT DOWN, AND LET ME DO MY COMMERCIAL!!!!
HEERO. ...
RELENA. ...Where was I...ah, yes! Then try Lady Une's Flavored Tampons!!! *an invisible crowd cheers in background*
HEERO. I really don't need to hear this...*begins to walk out*
RELENA. He-Chan! You sit your ass down before I SHOVE ONE UP IT!!!
HEERO. *sits cautiously, guarding rear with hand*
RELENA. Now where was I before we were rudely interrupted...Lady Une's Flavored Tampons are easy to use and taste great. Right, Sally Po?
SALLY. That's right, Relena! They come in an assortment of awesome-possum flavors including...*screen begins to scroll the names*...Plastic, MolASSES, Very Berry, Cunty Candy, Peelime Pie, Blueberry Splash, Pineapple Pus, cuCUMber, Weetermelon, CocoaNut, Rainblow, Penis Colada, Bloody Mary, VegiVaginaMen, and, of course everyone's favorite, Original!!
WUFEI. ...Original...Woman, you're perverted...
SALLY. ...well...
RELENA. Anyways...It's simple to use! Just suck on it till the color disappears, then pop it right in! It will expand instantly to your size!
HEERO. *gag-heave* I think I'm gonna be-
RELENA. Lady Une's Flavored Tampons are fairly priced, too!
SALLY. That's right! You can get your own package of fifty regulars, flavor of your choice, for not 30, not 20, not 10, but for five dollars and ninety-nine cents!
RELENA. And as a special bonus, if you call our ordering hotline in under ten minutes, you will receive a FREE econo-size shit-aw-clit flavored tampon courtesy of Hernon-non-non-non Janitorial and Abortion Services Inc. That's a fifty dollar value! So call 1-800-A-TAMPON; our operators are standing by!
WUFEI. *throws up*
HEERO. *faints*
SALLY. Brought to you by Maria Gross Pharmaceuticals and Microphones. Not tested on humans. In experimental stages only. Side effects include diarrhea, herpes simplex, constipation, running nose, migraines, Acid Reflux Disease, Syphilis, and Stigmata. Not meant for children over the age of twelve. Not sold in stores. Flavors are limited. Federal Period Society tested. Results vary.
*RELENA. Tired of ordinary tampons designed for a virgin?
HEERO. Relena...
RELENA. Tired of them slipping out and making it appear that you have male genitalia?
HEERO. Relena!
RELENA. SHUT UP, SIT DOWN, AND LET ME DO MY COMMERCIAL!!!!
HEERO. ...
RELENA. ...Where was I...ah, yes! Then try Lady Une's Flavored Tampons!!! *an invisible crowd cheers in background*
HEERO. I really don't need to hear this...*begins to walk out*
RELENA. He-Chan! You sit your ass down before I SHOVE ONE UP IT!!!
HEERO. *sits cautiously, guarding rear with hand*
RELENA. Now where was I before we were rudely interrupted...Lady Une's Flavored Tampons are easy to use and taste great. Right, Sally Po?
SALLY. That's right, Relena! They come in an assortment of awesome-possum flavors including...*screen begins to scroll the names*...Plastic, MolASSES, Very Berry, Cunty Candy, Peelime Pie, Blueberry Splash, Pineapple Pus, cuCUMber, Weetermelon, CocoaNut, Rainblow, Penis Colada, Bloody Mary, VegiVaginaMen, and, of course everyone's favorite, Original!!
WUFEI. ...Original...Woman, you're perverted...
SALLY. ...well...
RELENA. Anyways...It's simple to use! Just suck on it till the color disappears, then pop it right in! It will expand instantly to your size!
HEERO. *gag-heave* I think I'm gonna be-
RELENA. Lady Une's Flavored Tampons are fairly priced, too!
SALLY. That's right! You can get your own package of fifty regulars, flavor of your choice, for not 30, not 20, not 10, but for five dollars and ninety-nine cents!
RELENA. And as a special bonus, if you call our ordering hotline in under ten minutes, you will receive a FREE econo-size shit-aw-clit flavored tampon courtesy of Hernon-non-non-non Janitorial and Abortion Services Inc. That's a fifty dollar value! So call 1-800-A-TAMPON; our operators are standing by!
WUFEI. *throws up*
HEERO. *faints*
SALLY. Brought to you by Maria Gross Pharmaceuticals and Microphones. Not tested on humans. In experimental stages only. Side effects include diarrhea, herpes simplex, constipation, running nose, migraines, Acid Reflux Disease, Syphilis, and Stigmata. Not meant for children over the age of twelve. Not sold in stores. Flavors are limited. Federal Period Society tested. Results vary.