A/N: Hidy-ho! This is my fun and random Sailormoon SuperS(poof). I figured I would take this space to credit White Wave Dancer, for originally creating the idea of the SM (poofing)! Please, do go read her Sailormon S(poof). This is only my sort-of sequel. Ehehe... Dead Moon Circus? Here I come... *grins evily*
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(In a darkened room, the author sits, muttering to herself)
Say You'll Remember: I will not be freaked out by creepy people with dyed-blonde hair... I will not be freaked out by creepy people with dyed-blonde hair... I will not-
(Just then, Usagi pops in)
Usagi: Hey! You! Aren't you the author of this thing? We're waiting for you!
(The author shrieks and hides)
Usagi: What?? (She rubs her finger over her teeth) I brushed my teeth today! I swear!
(The author peeks her head out from her conveniently located hiding place: beneath the sofa cushions)
Say You'll Remember: It's...it's... (points) ...you.... You!! You're their leader!!
Usagi: Okay, you lost me, right around the "it's...it's" part.
Say You'll Remember: Die, creepy dyed-blonde! Aku Ryo Tai San!! (Suddenly remembers she isn't Sailormars. ...Hides again)
Usagi: What do you mean?! (Holds up one of her ponytails) This is completely natural!!
Say You'll Remember: YOU'RE JAPANESE!!! HOW CAN YOU BE NATURALLY BLONDE????
Usagi: (crosses her arms) I'm just special. That's what Daddy always told me. (pout)
(Scene cuts to Rei's temple, where the rest of the Senshi impatiently await Usagi)
Makoto: Uh...about our new enemies...
Rei: (red in the face) What damn new enemies??? We can't have new enemies until we have a new script! And, we can't have a new script until we have the author! And, we can't have the author until Usagi brings her here!! I'll bet she even took the wrong bus and got lost. Again!
Ami: Have a little bit more faith in, Usagi... I'm sure she'll be here soon.
(Just then, Usagi enters, carrying the hog-tied author)
Usagi: Sorry that took so long. I got on the wrong bus.
(Large sweatdrops grow on the rest of the Inner's foreheads)
Usagi: What?
Makoto: Nothing, Usagi-chan. (Shakes head)
Usagi: Anyway (she sets the author down), here's that person you sent me to go get.
Minako: What did you do to her? The poor thing... (Pats the tied-author's head)
Usagi: It's her fault!! (points) She accused me of not being a natural blonde!! I mean, I thought that now that I was Sailormoon, nobody would tease me anymore about my abnormal hair color! I thought that I had gotten past that!! (She runs off in tears)
(Minako, Ami, Michiru, and Setsuna all embarrassingly try to look at anything but their own hair)
(In this time, Haruka has untied the author)
Say You'll Remember: (jumping up) I'll bet you I'm the only REAL blonde out of all of you!! (Proudly displays her "Proud Member of the Society for the Protection of Dizzy Blondes" badge)
(Minako pounces on her)
Haruka: All hell has broken loose... Who only knows the true battle for the title of "blonde"... (Sweatdrop)
Makoto: Let's just cut scenes, and let the new villains...whoever they are...figure out how to do this. We obviously are going to have to do this one on the spot. (She folds her arms and bows her head in an I-Dream-of-Jeannie way, and the scene "magickally" changes...the wonders of animation)
(Three figures stand before the Grand Zirconia's throne)
Tiger's Eye: Tiger's Eye, at your service.
Fish Eye: Fish Eye, at your service.
Tiger's Eye: HEY! You took my line! You copy-cat!
Fish Eye: What do you mean?? (Glares)
Tiger's Eye: I mean what I say! You stole my line!
Fish Eye: Who's to say it's your line? If you'll recall, there is no story yet!
Tiger's Eye: I said it first, and that makes it MY LINE! (Stomps his foot)
Hawk's Eye: Ahem. Continuing forth...Hawk's Eye, at your service.
Tiger's Eye: The nerve! He stole my line too!
Fish Eye: Shut up!
Zirconia: Hawk's Eye...why have you not taken on your human form?
(Only then does everybody else notice that Hawk's Eye is still...well...a hawk)
Hawk's Eye: Your highness... Well, I've been thinking.. And, well, I really do not think it fair that the Senshi have those cool henshin phrases, and we have nothing! I mean, are the writers trying to rip us off?
(Picture Say You'll Remember grinning madly....hehe)
Hawk's Eye: I am going through a very tough time in my life, and I...I feel I need a henshin phrase, if I am going to continue on.
Fish Eye: Ah... I see you've developed what the humans call "teenage melodramas".
Hawk's Eye: (looking very 7th Heaven, with tears brimming) Look! Just let me say, "Hawk Star Power, Make-up!" That's all I'm asking!!
Fish Eye: That's it! I've had enough of your babyish complaints! Your problems are nothing! Are you so self-absorbed?? (Tear) I mean, at least people don't confuse your GENDER, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!! I mean, so what if I have a squeaky voice and wear dresses? That never made anybody any less of a person! (Shouting) I'M A MANLY-MAN!!!
Zirconia: Well...I don't think we needed to hear that. (Coughs)
Tiger's Eye: None of this changes the fact that you both stole my line!!
(Obviously, the story could not be left in the Amazon Trio's very...uh...capable hands. Scene cut back to Rei's shrine...where both Minako and the author now have entirely shaved heads)
Haruka: (polishing her sword) Well, that solved that.
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I already have in progress the second chapter to this story-which should prove far superior to the some-what lacking first. Please, do check back for it soon! *creepy voice* I'll give you candy if you do... MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!! *bounces away drunkenly on her hedgie-ball*