I'd just like to let you know ahead of time JK Rowling owns all the rights
to Harry Potter blah blah you know the drill. But also this is just for
comedy use and it can be very adult-ish so please don't get offended. I
wrote this to make you laugh not piss you off. Enjoy
Chapter 1
It was a bright and sunny morning as Harry woke up in his luxury four poster bed. Something seemed wrong though, were was everyone? Looking around he realized he overslept and everyone was in class already. Trying not to panic, He quickly threw on his robes and ran to Transfiguration class praying that Professor McGonagal wouldn't flip out on him to much.
As he stormed into the classroom he realized how late he really was. "Mr. Potter your 25 minutes late!!! Sit down and we'll talk about how much trouble your in after class" she screamed at him as the Slytherins laughed uncontrollably.
As Harry sat down he heard Seamus whisper to Dean, "I bet its that time of the month!"
Professor McGonagal couldn't of overheard being since she was across the classroom, but if looks could kill, she would have murdered Seamus on the spot.
"Why are you so late harry?" Ron asked as Harry finally sat down in between him and Hermione.
"Stupid Alarm Clock broke again!" Hermione finally looking up from her parchment, "You no better then to rely on those things. Last time we almost had to forfeit our match against Ravenclaw cause you were late"
The rest of the class wasn't so bad. They were practicing how to transform there quills into rabbits. Almost everyone was able to do it besides poor Neville.
"Professor I think I'm doing it wrong squeaked Neville as he looked hopelessly at his mutant transfiguration. He seemed to have turned the quill into a full fledged rabbit and Harry couldn't seem to figure out what Neville was complaining about.
"I don't see anything Neville cant you just accept the fact that you did something right for a change?" McGonagal shrieked at him."
But look Neville said pointing towards its.. private area." What is that!?!?!?"
Harry trying very hard not to laugh as the rest of the Gryffindors were doing, quickly whispered to Neville, "Its just a boy rabbit!" But before Neville could think twice Draco somehow got his rabbit to be "excited" and started imitating what Neville said.
McGonagal finally let go and screamed at Draco and Neville," Both of you sit down I'm not here to teach you the birds and the bees go buy a PlayWitch if your so desperate and stop interrupting my class!!!. 25 points from each house and dete-.. But before she could finish she simply collapsed to the ground in convulsions.
Neville, slowly, picked up his wand and started poking there transfiguration teacher while making strange sounds of excitement.
Ron, finally jumped up and screamed," Would you stop it!!!!.......... and let me try!!!" Ron quickly took out his wand and started poking the convulsing teacher. Seamus and Dean quickly jumped in with a few Slytherins as they poked the teacher repeatedly. Lavender and Parvati giggled until finally joining in themselves. Harry just stared in au, but finally taking out his wand. Just before his wand was out, the classroom door slammed open and to all there horror Professor Snape walked in just starring at the scene unfolding before his very own eyes...
********
What in gods name do you all think your doing!! I want all seven of you in Dumbledores office now!! And yes that means you to Potter, not even your stardom can save you now.
Harry got up gloomily, and walked out with Neville, Ron, Dean , Seamus, Lavender and Parvati. It looked grim for them. How could they possibly explain themselves, we just felt like a good poke? Just as Harry finished his thought, McGonagal started waking up.
"ugh. someone get me to my room" she mumbled as she tried to get up
Hermione, Ron, and Harry were the first to get to her and helped her up.
"Please take me to my room"
"Don't you think you should go to the infirmary" added Hermione helpfully.
"Please just take me to my room and Ill explain."
*******
It took about 10 minutes to finally get to the teachers section of the school, and to her room. They had to take quit a few passages they never knew about and had to pass through a secret passage guarded by a statue of Helga Hufflepuff (the password was Hufflepuff Pride) When they finally made it Harry soon realized it wasn't just a room it was like her very own apartment. As they walked in they quickly helped her to sit down on the sofa.
"Thank you" she said as she finally looked up at them. "I didn't want to drag you into my problems but its better you then the other Teachers."
The three exchanged glances.
Harry finally went first, "Professor what happened before?"
"The truth is, I was convulsing because I took some very powerful drugs last night.
"Good drugs right, like to help fight something?" Hermione asked nervously.
"No stupid they were illegal of course, I was trying it because I thought it might help me loosen up a bit but it was very strong.
"Why did you want to loosen up" Ron said as his ears turned as pink as possible.
"No one wants me anymore. I spend hours on the street corner ( Pine and Main St) and no one ever picks me up. All the young witches get picked up. I thought maybe if I was a little high Id loosen up and I would go home with someone"
The tree stared at each other dumbfounded .
"I get no good business anymore the best I can do is Snape, and you could only imagine that is like. He's into whips, leather, and hamsters, not much my style unless your paying right. Sighing she went on, "I used to be so pretty and not wrinkled up.. I've been in 7 PlayWitch Issues and 3 movies. My best was "Paradise of Woman" but they refused to use me for the sequel now.
Finally Harry regained control of his mouth, "Are you telling us, your students, that your a hooker and you were convulsing in class because you took some drugs to try and loosen up because no one will pick you up anymore?
She nodded.
Ron, finally getting up the courage to speak asked, " How much do you charge for a blo-
Before he could finish Hermione had slapped him clear as day across the face. "Ronald Weasly if you want that done you know I will do it no charge. well there will be some kind of payment needed.
She giggled to herself.
Harry sat there for a long time just taking all of this in. His Professor is a hooker. He already knew about Ron and Hermione but never knew they were THAT serious, but they of course didnt know how serious he was with Cho.
Finally he woke up from his thoughts and asked, "What do you want us to do?"
Its rather simple she said, " I want you to whore me up."
Chapter 1
It was a bright and sunny morning as Harry woke up in his luxury four poster bed. Something seemed wrong though, were was everyone? Looking around he realized he overslept and everyone was in class already. Trying not to panic, He quickly threw on his robes and ran to Transfiguration class praying that Professor McGonagal wouldn't flip out on him to much.
As he stormed into the classroom he realized how late he really was. "Mr. Potter your 25 minutes late!!! Sit down and we'll talk about how much trouble your in after class" she screamed at him as the Slytherins laughed uncontrollably.
As Harry sat down he heard Seamus whisper to Dean, "I bet its that time of the month!"
Professor McGonagal couldn't of overheard being since she was across the classroom, but if looks could kill, she would have murdered Seamus on the spot.
"Why are you so late harry?" Ron asked as Harry finally sat down in between him and Hermione.
"Stupid Alarm Clock broke again!" Hermione finally looking up from her parchment, "You no better then to rely on those things. Last time we almost had to forfeit our match against Ravenclaw cause you were late"
The rest of the class wasn't so bad. They were practicing how to transform there quills into rabbits. Almost everyone was able to do it besides poor Neville.
"Professor I think I'm doing it wrong squeaked Neville as he looked hopelessly at his mutant transfiguration. He seemed to have turned the quill into a full fledged rabbit and Harry couldn't seem to figure out what Neville was complaining about.
"I don't see anything Neville cant you just accept the fact that you did something right for a change?" McGonagal shrieked at him."
But look Neville said pointing towards its.. private area." What is that!?!?!?"
Harry trying very hard not to laugh as the rest of the Gryffindors were doing, quickly whispered to Neville, "Its just a boy rabbit!" But before Neville could think twice Draco somehow got his rabbit to be "excited" and started imitating what Neville said.
McGonagal finally let go and screamed at Draco and Neville," Both of you sit down I'm not here to teach you the birds and the bees go buy a PlayWitch if your so desperate and stop interrupting my class!!!. 25 points from each house and dete-.. But before she could finish she simply collapsed to the ground in convulsions.
Neville, slowly, picked up his wand and started poking there transfiguration teacher while making strange sounds of excitement.
Ron, finally jumped up and screamed," Would you stop it!!!!.......... and let me try!!!" Ron quickly took out his wand and started poking the convulsing teacher. Seamus and Dean quickly jumped in with a few Slytherins as they poked the teacher repeatedly. Lavender and Parvati giggled until finally joining in themselves. Harry just stared in au, but finally taking out his wand. Just before his wand was out, the classroom door slammed open and to all there horror Professor Snape walked in just starring at the scene unfolding before his very own eyes...
********
What in gods name do you all think your doing!! I want all seven of you in Dumbledores office now!! And yes that means you to Potter, not even your stardom can save you now.
Harry got up gloomily, and walked out with Neville, Ron, Dean , Seamus, Lavender and Parvati. It looked grim for them. How could they possibly explain themselves, we just felt like a good poke? Just as Harry finished his thought, McGonagal started waking up.
"ugh. someone get me to my room" she mumbled as she tried to get up
Hermione, Ron, and Harry were the first to get to her and helped her up.
"Please take me to my room"
"Don't you think you should go to the infirmary" added Hermione helpfully.
"Please just take me to my room and Ill explain."
*******
It took about 10 minutes to finally get to the teachers section of the school, and to her room. They had to take quit a few passages they never knew about and had to pass through a secret passage guarded by a statue of Helga Hufflepuff (the password was Hufflepuff Pride) When they finally made it Harry soon realized it wasn't just a room it was like her very own apartment. As they walked in they quickly helped her to sit down on the sofa.
"Thank you" she said as she finally looked up at them. "I didn't want to drag you into my problems but its better you then the other Teachers."
The three exchanged glances.
Harry finally went first, "Professor what happened before?"
"The truth is, I was convulsing because I took some very powerful drugs last night.
"Good drugs right, like to help fight something?" Hermione asked nervously.
"No stupid they were illegal of course, I was trying it because I thought it might help me loosen up a bit but it was very strong.
"Why did you want to loosen up" Ron said as his ears turned as pink as possible.
"No one wants me anymore. I spend hours on the street corner ( Pine and Main St) and no one ever picks me up. All the young witches get picked up. I thought maybe if I was a little high Id loosen up and I would go home with someone"
The tree stared at each other dumbfounded .
"I get no good business anymore the best I can do is Snape, and you could only imagine that is like. He's into whips, leather, and hamsters, not much my style unless your paying right. Sighing she went on, "I used to be so pretty and not wrinkled up.. I've been in 7 PlayWitch Issues and 3 movies. My best was "Paradise of Woman" but they refused to use me for the sequel now.
Finally Harry regained control of his mouth, "Are you telling us, your students, that your a hooker and you were convulsing in class because you took some drugs to try and loosen up because no one will pick you up anymore?
She nodded.
Ron, finally getting up the courage to speak asked, " How much do you charge for a blo-
Before he could finish Hermione had slapped him clear as day across the face. "Ronald Weasly if you want that done you know I will do it no charge. well there will be some kind of payment needed.
She giggled to herself.
Harry sat there for a long time just taking all of this in. His Professor is a hooker. He already knew about Ron and Hermione but never knew they were THAT serious, but they of course didnt know how serious he was with Cho.
Finally he woke up from his thoughts and asked, "What do you want us to do?"
Its rather simple she said, " I want you to whore me up."