Chapter 6
Everyone's eyes in the Great Hall slowly turned to face Hermione and Harry. Mostly everyone sat frozen but a few were able to get over the shock and comment with things here and there like, "Holy shit they're so big!" and "Look Harry's getting excited!" Even the teachers were stunned and couldn't believe what they were seeing. The only person who wasn't was Professor Snape who ran out of the room. He immediately came back in less then a minute with his camcorder and started taping.
Both Gryffindors were turning a deep shade of red, not sure what to do. Hermione quickly grabbing her wand, (from god knows where) and transfigured an empty chair next to her in set of Crimson colored robes.
Harry slowly turned to Hermione not sure what to say. Finally he came up with an idea. He quickly grabbed Hermione, threw her in front of him and said, "It wasn't my fault, she was putting out so much for so little how could I resist!" With those very few words Hermione's whole reputation was changed forever. Greedy little boys were already mentally thinking how much money they had saved up. The females were secretly wishing she would drop dead or thinking of a curse to shrink her chest. Not only was every boys mind at Hogwarts on her naked body, but also was a few women's.
Out of the corner of his eye, Harry caught a few women gazing blissfully at Hermione's naked body. Cho Chang was one of them and she didn't seem to care who noticed it. Finally putting two and two together he realized that's why when Cho got in a fight with the Ravenclaw girl; she was pulling off her clothes as they mud fought.
"We'll ...dear.I didn't expect this" he mumbled out-loud and now seemed to be in a very deep thought. "Harry Potter, for sporting the finest hard-on Hogwarts has seen in years, 15 points to Gryffindor!!!" Everyone just stared at the headmaster. "Hermione Granger, I award you 20 points for the perkiest breasts I've ever seen; a job well done!!"
Hermione was never more shocked in her life. Of all of the things to happen to her and it was all cause of Harry James Potter! She turned around to face Harry so creepy and pissed off looking it made people stop dead in there tracks. She glared at him then finally pulled out her wand and pointed it at Little Harry Jr. screaming "Reducio!!!" All the woman in the hall gasped and stared daggers at her.
"Have you gone mad!?" he screamed, outraged at her. "Fine. Two can play at this game!!" He pulled out his wand, thought about it for a moment and screamed, "Wingardium Leviosa" making her robes be lifted off. Then not even a blink of the eye later he pointed his wand at Hermione's chest and shouted, "Tarantallegra!!!" causing her breasts to dance.
Everyone was crying out of laughter now. They pointed and laughed at Harry and his impotence, and at Hermione and her jiggling breasts.
Out of nowhere, a mob of girls attacked Harry. He took off into the Gryffindor Common Room with amazing speed. If he had been one second slower .. there's no telling what those women would have done to him.
Hermione, on the other hand, wasn't doing so well herself. Servus Snape, who was clutching a camcorder and had a devilish grin on his face, was cornering her. She could also see his hamsters sticking their heads out of his leather pants. She tried her best not to scream.
"Listen to me you rat faced PIECE OF SHIT. I've had a bad day. I got drunk, I did a strip tease on stage, was seduced by Harry Potter, ran into the great hall naked, then he blamed everything on me and made my boobs jiggle for the whole FREAKIN SCHOOL!!! And now after all of that, you think that you have the balls to approach me!?" she screamed at him. Professor Snape's legs started to wobble and he began to feel faint.
Hermione wasn't done yet, though. She had never had so much pent up rage in her life. With all of her strength and anger backing her up, she pulled her fist back and cracked the Potions Master right in the mouth. .And then the scariest thing in the universe happened: Professor Snape began to cry.
*****************
No one was sure how to react the next day. The Potions Master was on sabbatical for a week. His reason was for "Personal Reasons". Dumbledore made a speech before Hermione and Harry came down to breakfast telling each and every student to forget about what happened yesterday and to act normally.
When Harry and Hermione entered the Great Hall (walking 5 ft apart), they each took a seat at the Gryffindor table. Hermione sat on the left of Ron, and Harry on the right.
Finally, Ron broke the silence and announced that they should all finish eating and head for Potions with their new teacher, Professor Poppins. Professor Poppins was a very odd man. He was very short and overly cheerful. As soon as the class entered their classroom, it was understood that Professor Poppins would be some one that they would never forget.
"Come in. Come in, now," he called to them from inside of the classroom. "Take your seats, now, we have an important lesson to begin!"
The class quickly took their seats and waited eagerly to find out what the lesson would be.
"My job as a teacher is to follow the curriculum and teach you it to the best of my knowledge. Well you know what I have to say to that?" He let out a big wet one.
Hermione gasped, unable to comprehend what he was saying.
"Now, let's begin. One of the most lethal poisons known to man is alcohol. Not only does it cloud your judgment, but it also affects your ability to think straight. Besides working up a sort of immunity towards it by letting your body get used to it, there is no true antidote. So, for our lesson today, we will be consuming as much alcohol as humanly possible."
The classes stared.
"Now everyone come on up one at a time and take what you want from the cooler. Your job is to drink as much as you can handle before the bell rings."
Like a stampede the class rushed up to the front of the classroom, attacking the cooler as if it was their last breath of air.
************* 20 minutes later, no one in the class could see straight or even talk correctly. Professor Poppins disappeared with Neville into the classroom across the hall after Neville had about 2 drinks. Hermione was on a table reenacting her dance performance from the Three Broomsticks, and Dean Thomas wasn't doing so well himself.
"I think I'll have another drink!" He stuttered. He took a long look at the drink chart the Professor left on his desk so people could make there own drinks.
"I think I'll have an orgasm!!!!" he announced to the class.
Lavender licked her lips and said." Mmmmhhhmmm. I could use one of those, too!" She grabbed Dean's hand and dragged him out of the room to only, well. God knows where.
*****************
Meanwhile, not too far off from the classroom, Dumbledore and Fudge, Head of the Ministry, were walking by Professor Poppins's classroom after having a nice quiet lunch in the garden discussing school business.
"I can hear one of the classes in progress, would you mind if I take a look? I always enjoy watching the students learn something new," he said cheerfully.
Dumbledore smiled and nodded towards the classroom door opening it as they both walked in. It only took 5 seconds for the two elder men to see and register what was occuring. Fudge dropped his cup of butterbeer on the floor, and the shattering of the glass stopped everyone dead in their tracks.
The only thing Dumbledore could say is, "Where is your teacher!?"
Ron spoke first. "He ran off with Neville; you can follow the trail of alcohol Neville left."
"EVERYONE FOLLOW ME!" Fudge screamed at them.
The quickly formed a line and followed the head master and Ministry of Magic. The trail of alcohol stopped at the transfiguration classroom. Fudge opened the door, glanced inside, before dropping to the floor still. Everyone stuck his or her heads into the door looking to see what was there. Neville was tied up to a rocking horse while Professor Poppins, who was dressed in all leather, was holding a whip and smearing honey all over poor Neville.
Dumbledore slammed the door shut and looked down at Fudge, checking for a pulse. There was none. Some of the girls shrieked, but Dumbledore calmed them down and said, "There, there, now.. Its alright, we can just shove his body in a closet. Yes, yes, that's what we will do. Quickly everybody and grab a body part and lift him up. I know just the place to stash him!"
They followed Dumbledore around the castle going through secret passages that seemed to go on for hours. Finally they reached a door marked "Professor Snape's Room". He opened the door, grabbed the body, and threw it onto Snape's bed.
"Remember class, you saw nothing. Now repeat after me, we saw nothing."
In a very dead sounding way, the class said, "We saw nothing"
"Now who else is in the mood for cupcakes?!" Dumbledore said joyfully, heading towards the Great Hall.
***************
Daily Prophet
Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge is still missing in action. After 3 days, not a trace of what happened to him has been found. Head master of Hogwarts commented saying. "He came to the castle for lunch to talk about a few things. The last I saw him was when he was leaving to go back to the office. I swear, I had nothing to do with it! You hound dogs leave me alone! I don't know!!!!" The ministry is still at a loss of what has happened to him. We'll keep you updated for any other clues in the investigation.
Harry stared at the paper not believing what he was reading. How could the fools not realize what happened!? Fudge never even made it back the office and they don't even think of Dumbledore as a suspect! He was outraged and he knew he had to do something. He stormed out of the Great Hall not finishing his breakfast and ran to the secret passage that led to Doubledore's office.
"Lick-It-Good Lolly Pop!" Harry shouted to the one-eyed statue guarding the entrance. He ran up the stairs, not even bothering to knock. He was on a roll. He was going to yell and make Dumbledore confess, and everything was going to be all right. He was proud of himself. That all changed once Harry opened the door to Dumbledore's office and stepped in.
"Oh my god! The horror!!!" Harry screamed in shock. "Put it away, please!!!"
Minerva quickly ran for her robes and put them on. Dumbledore sat there naked, not making any attempt to get dressed.
"Why, hello, Harry, what seems to be troubling you?" he said calmly, not showing any emotion what so ever.
"What in God's name are you doing?!" Harry was shrieking, but before he could even finish his sentence he was interrupted by the apparating of Aurors everywhere into the office.
"Albus Dumbledore, your under arre- Jesus! Mary, mother of God! He's naked!!" shrieked one of the Aurors.
Someone managed to get a robe over him and hide what everyone didn't want to see. The Auror took this opportunity to finish what he was originally saying.
"Albus Dumbledore, you are under arrest for the charge of murder of the Head Of Ministry of magic, Cornelius Fudge, also wanted for question on the deaths of." he trailed off. He looked down at the papers in his hands to double check the name. It can't be he thought to himself but it was down on the papers in ink. Albus Dumbledore was wanted for questioning on the deaths of Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy.
Everyone's eyes in the Great Hall slowly turned to face Hermione and Harry. Mostly everyone sat frozen but a few were able to get over the shock and comment with things here and there like, "Holy shit they're so big!" and "Look Harry's getting excited!" Even the teachers were stunned and couldn't believe what they were seeing. The only person who wasn't was Professor Snape who ran out of the room. He immediately came back in less then a minute with his camcorder and started taping.
Both Gryffindors were turning a deep shade of red, not sure what to do. Hermione quickly grabbing her wand, (from god knows where) and transfigured an empty chair next to her in set of Crimson colored robes.
Harry slowly turned to Hermione not sure what to say. Finally he came up with an idea. He quickly grabbed Hermione, threw her in front of him and said, "It wasn't my fault, she was putting out so much for so little how could I resist!" With those very few words Hermione's whole reputation was changed forever. Greedy little boys were already mentally thinking how much money they had saved up. The females were secretly wishing she would drop dead or thinking of a curse to shrink her chest. Not only was every boys mind at Hogwarts on her naked body, but also was a few women's.
Out of the corner of his eye, Harry caught a few women gazing blissfully at Hermione's naked body. Cho Chang was one of them and she didn't seem to care who noticed it. Finally putting two and two together he realized that's why when Cho got in a fight with the Ravenclaw girl; she was pulling off her clothes as they mud fought.
"We'll ...dear.I didn't expect this" he mumbled out-loud and now seemed to be in a very deep thought. "Harry Potter, for sporting the finest hard-on Hogwarts has seen in years, 15 points to Gryffindor!!!" Everyone just stared at the headmaster. "Hermione Granger, I award you 20 points for the perkiest breasts I've ever seen; a job well done!!"
Hermione was never more shocked in her life. Of all of the things to happen to her and it was all cause of Harry James Potter! She turned around to face Harry so creepy and pissed off looking it made people stop dead in there tracks. She glared at him then finally pulled out her wand and pointed it at Little Harry Jr. screaming "Reducio!!!" All the woman in the hall gasped and stared daggers at her.
"Have you gone mad!?" he screamed, outraged at her. "Fine. Two can play at this game!!" He pulled out his wand, thought about it for a moment and screamed, "Wingardium Leviosa" making her robes be lifted off. Then not even a blink of the eye later he pointed his wand at Hermione's chest and shouted, "Tarantallegra!!!" causing her breasts to dance.
Everyone was crying out of laughter now. They pointed and laughed at Harry and his impotence, and at Hermione and her jiggling breasts.
Out of nowhere, a mob of girls attacked Harry. He took off into the Gryffindor Common Room with amazing speed. If he had been one second slower .. there's no telling what those women would have done to him.
Hermione, on the other hand, wasn't doing so well herself. Servus Snape, who was clutching a camcorder and had a devilish grin on his face, was cornering her. She could also see his hamsters sticking their heads out of his leather pants. She tried her best not to scream.
"Listen to me you rat faced PIECE OF SHIT. I've had a bad day. I got drunk, I did a strip tease on stage, was seduced by Harry Potter, ran into the great hall naked, then he blamed everything on me and made my boobs jiggle for the whole FREAKIN SCHOOL!!! And now after all of that, you think that you have the balls to approach me!?" she screamed at him. Professor Snape's legs started to wobble and he began to feel faint.
Hermione wasn't done yet, though. She had never had so much pent up rage in her life. With all of her strength and anger backing her up, she pulled her fist back and cracked the Potions Master right in the mouth. .And then the scariest thing in the universe happened: Professor Snape began to cry.
*****************
No one was sure how to react the next day. The Potions Master was on sabbatical for a week. His reason was for "Personal Reasons". Dumbledore made a speech before Hermione and Harry came down to breakfast telling each and every student to forget about what happened yesterday and to act normally.
When Harry and Hermione entered the Great Hall (walking 5 ft apart), they each took a seat at the Gryffindor table. Hermione sat on the left of Ron, and Harry on the right.
Finally, Ron broke the silence and announced that they should all finish eating and head for Potions with their new teacher, Professor Poppins. Professor Poppins was a very odd man. He was very short and overly cheerful. As soon as the class entered their classroom, it was understood that Professor Poppins would be some one that they would never forget.
"Come in. Come in, now," he called to them from inside of the classroom. "Take your seats, now, we have an important lesson to begin!"
The class quickly took their seats and waited eagerly to find out what the lesson would be.
"My job as a teacher is to follow the curriculum and teach you it to the best of my knowledge. Well you know what I have to say to that?" He let out a big wet one.
Hermione gasped, unable to comprehend what he was saying.
"Now, let's begin. One of the most lethal poisons known to man is alcohol. Not only does it cloud your judgment, but it also affects your ability to think straight. Besides working up a sort of immunity towards it by letting your body get used to it, there is no true antidote. So, for our lesson today, we will be consuming as much alcohol as humanly possible."
The classes stared.
"Now everyone come on up one at a time and take what you want from the cooler. Your job is to drink as much as you can handle before the bell rings."
Like a stampede the class rushed up to the front of the classroom, attacking the cooler as if it was their last breath of air.
************* 20 minutes later, no one in the class could see straight or even talk correctly. Professor Poppins disappeared with Neville into the classroom across the hall after Neville had about 2 drinks. Hermione was on a table reenacting her dance performance from the Three Broomsticks, and Dean Thomas wasn't doing so well himself.
"I think I'll have another drink!" He stuttered. He took a long look at the drink chart the Professor left on his desk so people could make there own drinks.
"I think I'll have an orgasm!!!!" he announced to the class.
Lavender licked her lips and said." Mmmmhhhmmm. I could use one of those, too!" She grabbed Dean's hand and dragged him out of the room to only, well. God knows where.
*****************
Meanwhile, not too far off from the classroom, Dumbledore and Fudge, Head of the Ministry, were walking by Professor Poppins's classroom after having a nice quiet lunch in the garden discussing school business.
"I can hear one of the classes in progress, would you mind if I take a look? I always enjoy watching the students learn something new," he said cheerfully.
Dumbledore smiled and nodded towards the classroom door opening it as they both walked in. It only took 5 seconds for the two elder men to see and register what was occuring. Fudge dropped his cup of butterbeer on the floor, and the shattering of the glass stopped everyone dead in their tracks.
The only thing Dumbledore could say is, "Where is your teacher!?"
Ron spoke first. "He ran off with Neville; you can follow the trail of alcohol Neville left."
"EVERYONE FOLLOW ME!" Fudge screamed at them.
The quickly formed a line and followed the head master and Ministry of Magic. The trail of alcohol stopped at the transfiguration classroom. Fudge opened the door, glanced inside, before dropping to the floor still. Everyone stuck his or her heads into the door looking to see what was there. Neville was tied up to a rocking horse while Professor Poppins, who was dressed in all leather, was holding a whip and smearing honey all over poor Neville.
Dumbledore slammed the door shut and looked down at Fudge, checking for a pulse. There was none. Some of the girls shrieked, but Dumbledore calmed them down and said, "There, there, now.. Its alright, we can just shove his body in a closet. Yes, yes, that's what we will do. Quickly everybody and grab a body part and lift him up. I know just the place to stash him!"
They followed Dumbledore around the castle going through secret passages that seemed to go on for hours. Finally they reached a door marked "Professor Snape's Room". He opened the door, grabbed the body, and threw it onto Snape's bed.
"Remember class, you saw nothing. Now repeat after me, we saw nothing."
In a very dead sounding way, the class said, "We saw nothing"
"Now who else is in the mood for cupcakes?!" Dumbledore said joyfully, heading towards the Great Hall.
***************
Daily Prophet
Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge is still missing in action. After 3 days, not a trace of what happened to him has been found. Head master of Hogwarts commented saying. "He came to the castle for lunch to talk about a few things. The last I saw him was when he was leaving to go back to the office. I swear, I had nothing to do with it! You hound dogs leave me alone! I don't know!!!!" The ministry is still at a loss of what has happened to him. We'll keep you updated for any other clues in the investigation.
Harry stared at the paper not believing what he was reading. How could the fools not realize what happened!? Fudge never even made it back the office and they don't even think of Dumbledore as a suspect! He was outraged and he knew he had to do something. He stormed out of the Great Hall not finishing his breakfast and ran to the secret passage that led to Doubledore's office.
"Lick-It-Good Lolly Pop!" Harry shouted to the one-eyed statue guarding the entrance. He ran up the stairs, not even bothering to knock. He was on a roll. He was going to yell and make Dumbledore confess, and everything was going to be all right. He was proud of himself. That all changed once Harry opened the door to Dumbledore's office and stepped in.
"Oh my god! The horror!!!" Harry screamed in shock. "Put it away, please!!!"
Minerva quickly ran for her robes and put them on. Dumbledore sat there naked, not making any attempt to get dressed.
"Why, hello, Harry, what seems to be troubling you?" he said calmly, not showing any emotion what so ever.
"What in God's name are you doing?!" Harry was shrieking, but before he could even finish his sentence he was interrupted by the apparating of Aurors everywhere into the office.
"Albus Dumbledore, your under arre- Jesus! Mary, mother of God! He's naked!!" shrieked one of the Aurors.
Someone managed to get a robe over him and hide what everyone didn't want to see. The Auror took this opportunity to finish what he was originally saying.
"Albus Dumbledore, you are under arrest for the charge of murder of the Head Of Ministry of magic, Cornelius Fudge, also wanted for question on the deaths of." he trailed off. He looked down at the papers in his hands to double check the name. It can't be he thought to himself but it was down on the papers in ink. Albus Dumbledore was wanted for questioning on the deaths of Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy.