Well, it turns out that wouldn't be the last time I went on a date with Helga. In fact, it turned out that we went on quite a few more. And we kind of wound up being boyfriend and girlfriend. We definitely weren't the traditional couple though. I mean, even after a month of dating, we still hadn't kissed. Not even a little peck. We were still working on the hugging thing. It turned out that our first kiss would be just after the homecoming dance. Being my girlfriend, of course I asked her. She seemed almost hesitant, but finally agreed. We didn't dance much, since neither of us were really into dancing much. She had no problem in letting me dance with a few other girls though. So I got in a couple with Nadine and one with Rhonda, although that was because she was intent on dancing with "every decent guy at the dance, for appearance's sake". I guess to make her look that much more popular. Whatever. I noticed Helga watching the people on the dance floor a lot, though it never seemed to be me she was focusing on when I was out there. I wondered what that was all about, but didn't ask. I knew it was better not to push Helga to admit anything. You just have to wait until she's ready to tell you, or when she lets it slip out. Anyway, that night when I walked her to her door she kissed me. It was soft and gentle, but on the lips and I didn't ask for anything more. She looked at me for a long time after that, her eyes unreadable, before saying "goodnight" and going inside. I was pretty happy that night. A kiss, and boy howdy she did look beautiful in that red dress.

So I've said before that Helga chooses when to share anything about herself. But that's not to say I learned nothing about her. It just took her awhile to confide anything to me, and it was only little bits at a time. I soon started to realize she was more than just a former tomboy bully turned pretty. I began to understand how complex her character is. It happened slowly, piecing the bits together over the months, but I enjoyed the journey of discovery.

Over the course of those few months, I learned about her home life, from when she was little until now. It hadn't improved much over the years. Apparently her mother paid a little more attention to her now, sometimes sticking up for her when her father picked on her. Her father still preferred her older sister Olga over Helga. I had known before that Helga didn't like her sister, but now I learned the extent of her bitterness, and I learned why. I learned that all those years of her bullying us was her venting her problems in a negative way. She didn't want anyone close enough to uncover any of her secrets. Only Phoebe was the exception to the rule. I figured that's why she targeted Arnold in particular, because he was the one who tried hardest to help solve problems, including ones Helga didn't want even known. I also found out that she wrote poetry, and had since she was young. But she didn't let me read most of it. Only a couple, but she implied that she had books full of it that she didn't want anyone to see. I wondered why she would want to keep it hidden. What could she have written that she needed to keep so secret? I wondered if she had been suicidal or something. But since she was in elementary school? No kid that young could be suicidal. I might understand it at this age, but not at nine. But like I said, I knew not to pry.

Over those months, our relationship still stayed kind of distant. It seemed almost like we were only friends, and boyfriend/girlfriend in titles only. I only got a few more kisses, and they were like the first. I know some guys who start sleeping with their girls after only a few weeks and this had been months! Not that I wanted to sleep with Helga. No, I didn't mean that. I'm not that kind of guy, okay?

I remember one day at lunch when we were all in the cafeteria. I had gotten there early and ordered my meal from one of the lunch carts before the rush really started. I saw Arnold and Gerald at a table in a corner and wandered over to them. I wanted to get some of Arnold's advice.

It's kind of funny how we still get advice from Arnold. Even relationship advice. That's what's so funny. See, Arnold's never been in a relationship yet. It's weird, because as I understand it from the girls, he's pretty cute. Yet they all just want to keep him a friend. I don't know why. So he's a total relationship virgin still, yet we continue to ask him for advice even on that subject. And I haven't seen an unsatisfied customer yet.

"Hey Arnold, Gerald," I greeted as I sat in a chair across from them.

"Hey Sid," they chorused.

"So where's Phoebe?" I asked Gerald. Yeah, you guessed it: they've been together for, like, forever. Since eighth grade, I think. That's one couple that's never needed Arnold's advice, too.

"She's at an Ac-Dec meeting today."

"Ah." Phoebe was very involved in a variety of clubs, from National Honor Society to Academic Decathlon to Badminton. She joined Speech and Debate too, just to be with Gerald that much more. That's our valedictorian for you. "Well, Arnold, I kinda wanted some of your advice."

"Go for it, Sid," he said in his usual, smooth, calming voice.

"Well, it's like this. I've been seeing Helga for a few months now, and—"

"So it's true," Gerald broke in.

"Yeah. You didn't know by now?"

"Well, I heard the rumors but I didn't think they were true. I mean, you guys don't act like a couple. And Phoebe wouldn't tell me anything. I guess Helga made her promise not to say anything. Hmph, my own girlfriend keepin' things from me."

"Yeah, probably. But we've been together for a really long time and she's still pretty distant. Like you said Gerald, she doesn't treat me like her boyfriend. She treats me kind of like everyone else while we're at school. I was just wondering if you had any ideas what I can do, Arnold. You know, to do something really special for her so she'll start acting more … affectionate, I guess. Something romantic."

Arnold finished chewing his bite of cheeseburger and swallowed before answering slowly, "I don't know, Sid. I mean, it's Helga…." I happened to look up at that point to see Helga searching for a table halfway across the room. I waved at her when she looked my way, and she gave a faint smile and a nod before sitting where she could watch our table. I looked back at Arnold again, who continued after glancing over his shoulder at Helga. "I've never understood her. She's not like any other girl, so I don't know what might work for you. I just don't know, Sid."

I think that's the first time he'd ever been unable to give me advice since I've known him, and that's a long time. "Thanks anyway, Arnold. I'll see you around." I stood and walked toward Helga's table, noticing her still gazing in the direction of our table. Her focus never shifted, even as I walked up to her. I looked back to see she was staring at Arnold's back.

"Hey," I said as I sat down next to her. She finally broke her gaze and turned to me.

"Hey. Uh, what are you doing over here?" she asked quietly.

"I thought you looked pretty lonely since Phoebe's gone to her meeting today, so I thought I'd keep you company."

"Oh."

I felt disappointed by her lack of enthusiasm. I mean, I was her boyfriend, shouldn't she be excited the least bit by seeing me? I'm not asking for the mushiness level of Phoebe and Gerald, but would a little bit of happiness kill her? And she was staring at Arnold again….

-----

That Saturday we went to the city park. Helga brought a box of stale crackers to feed to the ducks there. She said she found them where the laundry soap was supposed to be, and their expiration date read June 1998. She explained that her mother's ignorance must have struck again. We were walking back from the pond when Arnold happened to come running by, chasing after a football that bounced away ahead of him. He chased it across our path until it stopped, then scooped it up and saw us.

"Hi Sid, hi Helga," he greeted.

We had been walking side by side with a small distance between us, not holding hands of course, because Helga still seemed uncomfortable doing that in public areas. But suddenly I felt her hand reaching for mine, and she stepped closer to me.

"Hey Arnold," she said softly.

"Hey," I echoed, looking at her for a moment. We were nearly the same height; I only had a couple inches over her, so I could see her eyes well.

"Hope you guys are having a nice day!" Arnold chirped as he jogged back to his football game. I watched as Helga's eyes followed him. Once he was gone, she slowly loosened her grip on my hand. She didn't let it completely fall away, but she regained her distance from me.

I said nothing about it, but that little incident made me start thinking.

-----

I started putting together all these little pieces of the puzzle. There was all the staring Helga did at Arnold. After that first time, I started remembering other times I had seen her looking at him, although at the time I thought nothing of it. Then there was the whole weird incident at the park. I remembered back to homecoming and how her staring at the dance floor might have just coincided with Arnold's presence out there. I remembered even further back to the time when Stinky told me about Helga making him her boyfriend to make Arnold jealous. Of course Stinky didn't realize that was her motive, he just remembered she paid him off in Mr. Nutty bars and Arnold happened to be around wherever they went. I was the one who did the math, especially since it was highlighted by the incident at the park.

I started to wonder about that poetry. I had this suspicion that it was love poetry, and not concerning me. But I needed to be sure before I jumped to any definite conclusions. That's where knowing stuff about her came in handy. I chose a time when her dad would be at work and she was visiting Phoebe to make my move. I knew her mother would be asleep and wouldn't notice the little noise I made as I climbed the fire escape to Helga's bedroom window and into her room. I looked around for a bookcase, but she didn't have one in her room. I looked under the bed, but there were no boxes. Where would she hide away volumes of poetry? Finally I looked in her closet. Ah ha! There were several boxes stacked in a corner. I pulled one open and selected a book. Everything smelled of old bubble-gum, I thought as I opened to a random page.

Sure enough, the poem was about Arnold. Well, it didn't say so explicitly. But it was pretty obvious. The boy with cornflower hair? And a football-shaped head?

I carefully put the book back where it came from, closed the box and the closet door, and made my escape out the window and down the fire escape. No one saw me, and I left no trace. Don't ever say I can't be a spy. I've so got the moves.

Anyway, I'm a bastard for sneaking into my girlfriend's room and looking through her stuff. I bet that's what you're thinking. Well I did feel like one, especially when I considered what I was about to ask her.

-----

Okay, at this point I think I should clarify some things. First of all, I care about Helga Pataki. I really do. Sure, at first I just thought she was hot. But then, with all that time spent getting to know her, I started to like her for who she is. She's a really interesting person. She's so complex; getting to know her was like unraveling the sweetest little mystery. It's just that this whole thing isn't right. I want a better relationship than this. I want someone who will trust me, who will open up to me. Sure, I learned a lot about Helga, but that's just in relation to how little I knew before. And I don't want to be in a relationship with such distance, and especially in one where I know my girlfriend would rather be with some other guy. That's no boost to the confidence.

So the next Friday, when I asked her out to dinner, I was ready.

I drove us to the park. It was twilight again. We started walking through the crisp air. It was still a bit chilly outside, but Helga had brought her own coat and seemed pretty comfortable so I didn't get to do that cool gentleman thing and offer her my jacket.

I stopped at a bench and sat down. She stopped and sat too. I turned to her, and took a deep breath. I remembered all those distant looks in her eyes, when she was thinking of him, and how often they happened when she was with me. Thoughts of that gave me the power to speak.

"Helga, how long have you loved Arnold?" There, I said it. And the sentence seemed to shatter the peacefulness of the evening air, like a hammer to a thin sheet of fine crystal.

She gasped, and choked, and got a fearful look in her eyes. I wanted to pull her into my arms and hold her and comfort her, to chase away that horrified look.

But I continued. "Yeah, I figured it out. It's all right, you don't have to say anything right now. It's just that … it's not fair for me to be fighting for your attention with a guy who's not actually there competing for your affections. But it seems like you'd rather be with him, and that's not fair to me. I just wanted to let you know that it's up to you now. I just wanted you to decide between keeping this relationship and giving it everything, or just giving it all up. You don't have to tell me now. Just … soon, okay? C'mon, I'll drive you home."

She nodded dumbly and followed me to my car. I walked her to her door, as usual, but she didn't say a word as she went inside. After the door closed, I hung my head and closed my eyes, drawing in a deep breath. Well, it was done. Then I just had to see what happened next.

-----

The next day I spent in my room, just thinking. I was remembering all the days with Helga. How she could be so distant, but sometimes, just sometimes, I had her full attention and she acted like she cared for me. It wasn't often enough, but each time was so special.

That's why I was so terrified by the phone ringing. I knew it was her even before I picked it up.

She had started the conversation with a question. "Why did you ask me out in the first place?"

I paused. "Because … you were intriguing, I guess. I wanted to see if I could do it; get you to say yes. I really didn't expect you to. I was half-expecting to come face to face with good Ol' Betsy." I laughed, humorlessly. "You were so beautiful, and still are. Why did you say yes?"

"I guess … because … I wanted to prove something to myself. I wanted to prove I wasn't scared of saying yes to a guy, and you just happened to be the one who came along. That's not to say staying with you was just because I was willing to be with anyone at all…."

"But you would have rather been with Arnold."

I heard her sigh. "Yeah. I've loved him since I was three."

Three? Whoa, I never would have guessed she liked him that long.

"Wow," was all I could say.

"Yeah. I'm sorry, Sid."

"It's … it's okay, I guess."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. And Helga?"

"Yeah?"

"Good luck. I hope you get what you want someday. I really mean that. You deserve it."

"Thanks Sid."

"No problem. I'll see you around school, then?"

"Yeah. Bye."

"Bye."

And that's how it all ended, with a simple telephone call. I was left with nothing but some empty static where my girlfriend's voice used to be. And a little empty spot in my heart that used to be hers, too.

So that's my story. I can't say I was left with absolutely nothing though. I was left with the satisfaction of getting to know one of the most interesting people I'll ever meet in my life, and once getting to call her mine.

-----

Author's Note: Well, that's the end. Hopefully the Sid/Helga thing went over okay, and didn't annoy too many devoted A/H fans. And for those of you who did turn into S/H fans, hopefully you weren't too disappointed by the ending. If you'd ever heard the song "All Or Nothing", you probably should have seen that coming. ~.^ I apologize if anyone thought Sid was OOC. I was taking into account that at the time he's telling this story he's about 17, so he should have changed a bit since he was 9. Hopefully that was apparent - that he was similar but not exactly the same. Not quite as paranoid. I imagined him being one of those guys who thinks he's cool but really isn't, as much as he tries, and rather than being annoying he's just kind of goofy and cute. Oh yes, and I don't know if there will be a sequel to this or not. I don't have one planned but that doesn't mean it won't happen. The same as my other stories … it just depends on my muses. Anyway, tell me what you think about all of that!