AN - Well, I really hadn't intended to write this. In fact I almost didn't - this really isn't as inspired as the last chapter. It's been the week from hell around here I think I just needed something to take my mind off of what life has been like around here. I'm sorry I haven't updated my other fic but I'm going on vacation this weekend so that should give me some time to write etc. Hope you enjoy this and remember: Reviews are what keep this writer going. Otherwise, I go on strike and you don't get the ending. And trust me, Sam's revenge is worth reading. =P
Post Ascension Boredom II
I really should stay away from Earth.
Especially considering what I did yesterday.
You'd think I'd learned my lesson
Oma hasn't found out yet - which in it self is a miracle.
I can't go back and make those photo's mysteriously disappear.
That Oma would notice.
But I can't just let my friends fry can I?
Nah.
I really don't want to see Jack discharged.
Even if he was the one who told Teal'c about to put my artifacts in that storage closest.
And he thinks I don't know.
Besides, there's Sam to think about.
What to do
What to do….
Hum….
Get in trouble or save Jack's dignity?
Get in trouble or save Sam's modesty?
Well... they are my friends
But it'd be fun to see the General get the photos.
I could just watch.
I don't *think* there's anything in the rules against that.
But if I just watch they'll get in trouble.
And staying here…
Well I really do like early Celtic culture,
But I like the SGC better.
Guess I'll go after all.
Close eyes,
Wish, wish, wish.
Open eyes… why do I always end up in the infirmary whenever I come here?
And why is Jonas under the examination table?
"Oh Jonas!" Ah, Nurse Owens... I should probably tell him that he'd have better luck if he hid in the storage closet on level twenty-three… nah. That would be meddling, and I'm not allowed to meddle.
Now to find Jack…
"Colonel O'Neill to General Hammond's office. Colonel O'Neill to General Hammond's office."
Oh, that would answer my question.
Off to the General's office it is.
He's got some really great décor,
Could really do with some Myan statues though,
The Tokr'a carving he has is just weird.
I wonder how he's going to react to those photos.
It's not everyday you find out that your female personnel like to wear lacy red lingerie under their BDU's
Or that Jack uses a pink lathering puff when he showers.
Although, now that I think of it, that lathering puff belongs to Sam.
Humm….
Wonder what else those two share.
"Now Colonel, I would like to ask you some questions about your last mission report."
Oh good, Jack's here.
"Yes sir."
Poor guy, no idea what he's in for. I almost feel sorry for him.
"Well, my first question is why you saw fit to include these photographs."
Wow. For a guy his age, the general throws pretty well.
Especially since color photocopies float.
Geez… I think Jack is actually speechless.
Come on buddy,
Use your head.
Just come up with something alread.
Tick tock
Tick tock.
Jack! THINK!
"I uhh… wanted to show you the inadequacy of the security around here."
Whoa… smooth one.
Guess hanging around Sam and I finally paid off.
Well, that and the black ops training.
"Security Colonel?"
"Yes Sir. I found these in the machine room. Sir, if the security personnel are photocopying images from the security cameras in the locker room, what else might they be doing? I thought that it was a major security risk that needed to be brought to your attention immediately."
Yep. Definitely learning.
Not such the 'dumb solider' after all huh Jack.
"I see."
Come on General… it's a feasible excuse.
And think of how much trouble reporting him would cause.
"Alright Colonel, I'll look into it."
"Thank you sir."
"Dismissed."
"Yes sir."
Well, that wasn't too bad.
"Oh and one more thing."
Or maybe it will be.
"Yes sir?"
"Tell Major Carter to come down here ASAP. I want to talk to her about some discrepancies between her report and Jonas'."
Uh oh.
Jack's gone to get her.
He probably believes the General too.
If Sam comes up with a different story…
Oh Boy.
This could get messy.
"Sir?"
That was fast.
She must've been nearby.
"Major Carter come here please."
Uh oh.
"Why exactly did you put these in your mission report."
Oh Damn.
Plead the fifth Sam.
Plead the fifth.
"Uhh… security sir."
Wha?
Did she just use the same excuse Jack did?
Oh my.
"Really? Than you and the colonel had discussed this?"
"Yes sir, he uh… he said that the matter needed to be brought to your attention."
Wait.
Is it just me or is that a little too close to what Jack came up with?
Note to self: Make sure Sam spends a little less time with Jack. Her rubbing off on him is not bad. The other way around is not good.
"I see. Thank you Major, it's been noted. Dismissed."
"Yes sir."
Whoa… is it just me or did she take that a little too well.
No wait fuming… that's not right.
Ok… guess she's not taking it so well.
Aw shit. She thinks Jack did it.
Better go see where she's headed.
Oh, she's going to the infirmary.
Maybe now I'll get to see Janet
"Janet, I'm gonna kill that bastard!!!"
Hey, where's Janet?
"Jonas?"
Huh?
What's she talking about?
"Major Carter!"
"Sam!"
Opps. Maybe I should have told him about that storage closet after all.