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This chapter will basically be 'on the field action', with a little annoying commentary, of course. (Tinuviel: And Sauron! We have Sauron!!!)
Like previously mentioned, Luke blows the whistle, and the match begins!
The Wizards won the toss, so they have possession of the ball. Harry gets it and stands pointlessly staring at it.
TINUVIEL: Just look at the determination on his idiotic face. He appears to be stuck.
LUTHIEN: Hellooo!! KICK THE $&%$ BALL, POTTER!!!
Harry snaps into reality, startled by the collective curses and shouts from the commentator, his team and the crowd, gives a mighty roar as he kicks the ball with all his might.
The ball unimpressively rolls forward enough for it to be declared a proper kickoff.
Wizard's Cheerleaders:
Hermione: BE CAREFUL HARRY!!!
Petunia Dursely: DON'T BE CAREFUL, SHE MEANS, HARRY!!
Hermione: No, I do not!
Petunia Dursely: You do not want him to be careful!
Hermione: Argh!!!
Hermione and Mrs. Dursley get into a fist fight, while Professor MacGonagall reads a book, looking bored.
A green blur whizzes past Harry, who has gone blank again, and before he can react, Legolas has stolen the ball and is dashing around the pitch in all his Elven speed.
CROWD: (MEGA ROAR)
Mara the Excited Fan: GO LEGGIE!!!!!
LUTHIEN: Looks like we found ourselves a Legolas fan!
TINUVIEL: Lets kill her.
LUTHIEN: Shut up or you'll make a lot of enemies.
TINUVIEL: What can I say, I hate people.
JAR JAR: (recovering, but weakly raising a finger) Yousa a misanthrope!
TINUVIEL: A WHAT? DON'T YOU DARE USE BAD LANGUAGE UP HERE, YOU GUNGAN!!
(Tinuviel punches Jar Jar out. Random droids come to take him to the ICU)
Back on the pitch.
Saruman, who now has the ball, passes it cleanly to Dumbledore, who grins placidly and runs off incredibly fast for an old geezer.
Saruman: (confronted by a very angry Aragorn) I thought he was Gandalf!! They look almost the same!
Aragorn: Look at the team jersey next time, you dolt!
Dumbledore passes to Harry, because he is very obviously biased towards him. Harry watches the ball roll past him.
Harry: What?
Pippin flies over, gets the ball, and is lunged at by the Weasley twins, who come at him from two sides. He is short enough to slip between them, and they slam very painfully into each other. Both are knocked unconscious.
Ron: (yelling madly) RED CARD!! GIVE THAT THING A RED CARD!!! RED CAAARD!!!!!
Luke walks over to Ron and holds up a yellow card.
Luke: Want a red one?
Ron shakes his head and runs to hide behind Percy.
As play resumes, Pippin has kicked the ball into the air, Aragorn makes a very cool volley and Boromir heads it at Hagrid in the Wizards' goal. It bounces off the gigantic form and whacks Aragorn in the head.
Hagrid: Heh heh.OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!! (-Howl of pain)
TINUVIEL: What the heck was that??
Hagrid reaches back and pulls an arrow from his backside. On the other end of the pitch, Legolas casually tosses a bow and quiver of arrows over the bleachers, where Mara the excited fan grabs them and squeals.
Mara the Excited Fan: My preciousssssss.
Legolas looks slightly alarmed but sprints to see if Aragorn's okay.
LUTHIEN: (in a mock confused voice) Gee, I wonder where that arrow came from!
(Tinuviel cackles evilly)
Aragorn is okay, though slightly dazed. Luke awards the Ring Lords a penalty, as Hagrid should have held on to the ball and not let it bounce off his massive frame. Luke decides that he did not *notice* Legolas' arrow.
Merry takes the kick, and the Wizards stand casually around, trying to frighten the poor little Hobbit.
Frodo, knowing Merry well, decides to distract Hagrid. He jumps up and down in the middle of the pitch, and vanishes.
Hagrid: Gasp!
Merry: Aha!
Merry takes advantage of Hagrid's surprise to kick the ball between his feet.
LUTHIEN: SCORE ONE FOR THE RING LORDS!! WHOO HOO!!!
TINUVIEL: (muttering softly) He's put on the ring.Frodo's put on the Ring!
LUTHIEN: What? No, you've got to be kidding. Oh no.
TINUVIEL: Oh yes.
LUTHIEN: What do you-
All commentary comes to a hold as terrified screams fill the stadium.
Frodo put on the One Ring. Sauron's Ring. The Ring Sauron wants back. Not good.
The big, scary, fiery, lidless, ever watchful, colossal Eye of Sauron appears, filling the entire sky above the stadium.
The Nazgul in the stands drop their popcorn and soda and duck under the seats.
Sauron: My Ring. it is here. I see you, Halfling.
Gandalf: TAKE OFF THE %&*# RING, YOU FOOL OF A. never mind.TAKE IT OFF!!!
Frodo takes the Ring off and hides behind Sam.
Harry: Oh how pretty! Is that a flower?
TINUVIEL: He's even dumber than I thought. Ha!
Ron: No, I think it's one of Bertie Bott's giant every flavour beans.
Sauron: I am not a BEAN!!! I am the Lord Of Mordor, Lieutenant of Lord Melkor. I forged the Ruling Ring of Power- I am not a bean!!
Sauron's Eye has been getting redder and scarier with each word.
Harry: Oh. (passes out)
TINUVIEL: Go Sauron!!
Sauron: I shall be in my Tower.
TINUVIEL: I, uh, I didn't mean 'go away'.
The Eye vanishes. The audience starts cheering Merry and the Ring Lords, and the Nazgul clamber back onto their seats.
LUTHIEN: As I was saying before the Distraction, YAY!! MERRY SCORES!!
TINUVIEL: (tossing confetti all over the place) YIPPEE!!!
Play resumes once more. The Wizards look very angry.
Dumbledore tackles Sam, who has the ball. Sam, irritated, bonks Dumbledore over the head with a frying pan from nowhere. Neville Longbottom gets the ball anyway and trips over it.
Gandalf takes this opportunity to steal the ball from Neville, who's lying about a mile away from it anyway. Gandalf dribbles down the field, but Harry Potter zooms over. Gandalf pretends like he's going to pass to Legolas, and Harry runs madly after the Elf until he realizes that Gandalf still has the ball. He pulls out his wand angrily.
TINUVIEL: GANDALF!!! LOOK OUT!!!
Harry: (Jelly Legs Curse)
Gandalf, hit by the curse, starts wobbling around like he has, well, Jelly Legs.
Mara the Excited Fan: That's not fair! Leggie, do something!!!!!
Legolas grins at Mara, causing her to faint. He then proceeds to whoosh down to where Seamus Finnigan has the ball, steal it from him, continue whooshing to the Wizard's goal, and boot it in before anyone can react.
TINUVIEL: GOOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!
LUTHIEN: Two nil to the Ring Lords!!!
Percy: That was offside!! Not allowed. I'm a prefect, I know these things.
Luke: (walking over quietly) It was not offside, and I'm a Jedi like my father before me. That's way cooler than being a prefect.
Percy: But it was still offside! Right? Right? (He turns to his team, but they look rather red)
Ron: Harry was having a chat with Hagrid about cream cakes when the tall guy kicked the ball in. It's not offside.
Percy: Yes it is!
Ron: We, er, we were all eating the cream cakes.
Percy looks outraged and bonks him on the head. He falls unconscious onto Harry, who is also knocked out.
Random Droids come to take Ron away, since Harry's the boy who lived and he cannot leave the match, because everything that happens to anybody should involve him.
LUTHIEN: And Ron Weasley's replacement is.
Well, you'll have to wait and find out! This wasn't as fun as the last chapter, we know, but the next one will be very painful.I mean eventful!
We're gonna need a lot of replacements on both sides, and any suggestions would be great! Anyone want to see Figwit? Anyone know who Figwit is? Ideas for new ways of Harry bashing would help too!
Thanks to our wonderful reviewers once more. If you leave signed ones, we'll check out your stuff. Ranger's Honour!
This chapter will basically be 'on the field action', with a little annoying commentary, of course. (Tinuviel: And Sauron! We have Sauron!!!)
Like previously mentioned, Luke blows the whistle, and the match begins!
The Wizards won the toss, so they have possession of the ball. Harry gets it and stands pointlessly staring at it.
TINUVIEL: Just look at the determination on his idiotic face. He appears to be stuck.
LUTHIEN: Hellooo!! KICK THE $&%$ BALL, POTTER!!!
Harry snaps into reality, startled by the collective curses and shouts from the commentator, his team and the crowd, gives a mighty roar as he kicks the ball with all his might.
The ball unimpressively rolls forward enough for it to be declared a proper kickoff.
Wizard's Cheerleaders:
Hermione: BE CAREFUL HARRY!!!
Petunia Dursely: DON'T BE CAREFUL, SHE MEANS, HARRY!!
Hermione: No, I do not!
Petunia Dursely: You do not want him to be careful!
Hermione: Argh!!!
Hermione and Mrs. Dursley get into a fist fight, while Professor MacGonagall reads a book, looking bored.
A green blur whizzes past Harry, who has gone blank again, and before he can react, Legolas has stolen the ball and is dashing around the pitch in all his Elven speed.
CROWD: (MEGA ROAR)
Mara the Excited Fan: GO LEGGIE!!!!!
LUTHIEN: Looks like we found ourselves a Legolas fan!
TINUVIEL: Lets kill her.
LUTHIEN: Shut up or you'll make a lot of enemies.
TINUVIEL: What can I say, I hate people.
JAR JAR: (recovering, but weakly raising a finger) Yousa a misanthrope!
TINUVIEL: A WHAT? DON'T YOU DARE USE BAD LANGUAGE UP HERE, YOU GUNGAN!!
(Tinuviel punches Jar Jar out. Random droids come to take him to the ICU)
Back on the pitch.
Saruman, who now has the ball, passes it cleanly to Dumbledore, who grins placidly and runs off incredibly fast for an old geezer.
Saruman: (confronted by a very angry Aragorn) I thought he was Gandalf!! They look almost the same!
Aragorn: Look at the team jersey next time, you dolt!
Dumbledore passes to Harry, because he is very obviously biased towards him. Harry watches the ball roll past him.
Harry: What?
Pippin flies over, gets the ball, and is lunged at by the Weasley twins, who come at him from two sides. He is short enough to slip between them, and they slam very painfully into each other. Both are knocked unconscious.
Ron: (yelling madly) RED CARD!! GIVE THAT THING A RED CARD!!! RED CAAARD!!!!!
Luke walks over to Ron and holds up a yellow card.
Luke: Want a red one?
Ron shakes his head and runs to hide behind Percy.
As play resumes, Pippin has kicked the ball into the air, Aragorn makes a very cool volley and Boromir heads it at Hagrid in the Wizards' goal. It bounces off the gigantic form and whacks Aragorn in the head.
Hagrid: Heh heh.OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!! (-Howl of pain)
TINUVIEL: What the heck was that??
Hagrid reaches back and pulls an arrow from his backside. On the other end of the pitch, Legolas casually tosses a bow and quiver of arrows over the bleachers, where Mara the excited fan grabs them and squeals.
Mara the Excited Fan: My preciousssssss.
Legolas looks slightly alarmed but sprints to see if Aragorn's okay.
LUTHIEN: (in a mock confused voice) Gee, I wonder where that arrow came from!
(Tinuviel cackles evilly)
Aragorn is okay, though slightly dazed. Luke awards the Ring Lords a penalty, as Hagrid should have held on to the ball and not let it bounce off his massive frame. Luke decides that he did not *notice* Legolas' arrow.
Merry takes the kick, and the Wizards stand casually around, trying to frighten the poor little Hobbit.
Frodo, knowing Merry well, decides to distract Hagrid. He jumps up and down in the middle of the pitch, and vanishes.
Hagrid: Gasp!
Merry: Aha!
Merry takes advantage of Hagrid's surprise to kick the ball between his feet.
LUTHIEN: SCORE ONE FOR THE RING LORDS!! WHOO HOO!!!
TINUVIEL: (muttering softly) He's put on the ring.Frodo's put on the Ring!
LUTHIEN: What? No, you've got to be kidding. Oh no.
TINUVIEL: Oh yes.
LUTHIEN: What do you-
All commentary comes to a hold as terrified screams fill the stadium.
Frodo put on the One Ring. Sauron's Ring. The Ring Sauron wants back. Not good.
The big, scary, fiery, lidless, ever watchful, colossal Eye of Sauron appears, filling the entire sky above the stadium.
The Nazgul in the stands drop their popcorn and soda and duck under the seats.
Sauron: My Ring. it is here. I see you, Halfling.
Gandalf: TAKE OFF THE %&*# RING, YOU FOOL OF A. never mind.TAKE IT OFF!!!
Frodo takes the Ring off and hides behind Sam.
Harry: Oh how pretty! Is that a flower?
TINUVIEL: He's even dumber than I thought. Ha!
Ron: No, I think it's one of Bertie Bott's giant every flavour beans.
Sauron: I am not a BEAN!!! I am the Lord Of Mordor, Lieutenant of Lord Melkor. I forged the Ruling Ring of Power- I am not a bean!!
Sauron's Eye has been getting redder and scarier with each word.
Harry: Oh. (passes out)
TINUVIEL: Go Sauron!!
Sauron: I shall be in my Tower.
TINUVIEL: I, uh, I didn't mean 'go away'.
The Eye vanishes. The audience starts cheering Merry and the Ring Lords, and the Nazgul clamber back onto their seats.
LUTHIEN: As I was saying before the Distraction, YAY!! MERRY SCORES!!
TINUVIEL: (tossing confetti all over the place) YIPPEE!!!
Play resumes once more. The Wizards look very angry.
Dumbledore tackles Sam, who has the ball. Sam, irritated, bonks Dumbledore over the head with a frying pan from nowhere. Neville Longbottom gets the ball anyway and trips over it.
Gandalf takes this opportunity to steal the ball from Neville, who's lying about a mile away from it anyway. Gandalf dribbles down the field, but Harry Potter zooms over. Gandalf pretends like he's going to pass to Legolas, and Harry runs madly after the Elf until he realizes that Gandalf still has the ball. He pulls out his wand angrily.
TINUVIEL: GANDALF!!! LOOK OUT!!!
Harry: (Jelly Legs Curse)
Gandalf, hit by the curse, starts wobbling around like he has, well, Jelly Legs.
Mara the Excited Fan: That's not fair! Leggie, do something!!!!!
Legolas grins at Mara, causing her to faint. He then proceeds to whoosh down to where Seamus Finnigan has the ball, steal it from him, continue whooshing to the Wizard's goal, and boot it in before anyone can react.
TINUVIEL: GOOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!
LUTHIEN: Two nil to the Ring Lords!!!
Percy: That was offside!! Not allowed. I'm a prefect, I know these things.
Luke: (walking over quietly) It was not offside, and I'm a Jedi like my father before me. That's way cooler than being a prefect.
Percy: But it was still offside! Right? Right? (He turns to his team, but they look rather red)
Ron: Harry was having a chat with Hagrid about cream cakes when the tall guy kicked the ball in. It's not offside.
Percy: Yes it is!
Ron: We, er, we were all eating the cream cakes.
Percy looks outraged and bonks him on the head. He falls unconscious onto Harry, who is also knocked out.
Random Droids come to take Ron away, since Harry's the boy who lived and he cannot leave the match, because everything that happens to anybody should involve him.
LUTHIEN: And Ron Weasley's replacement is.
Well, you'll have to wait and find out! This wasn't as fun as the last chapter, we know, but the next one will be very painful.I mean eventful!
We're gonna need a lot of replacements on both sides, and any suggestions would be great! Anyone want to see Figwit? Anyone know who Figwit is? Ideas for new ways of Harry bashing would help too!
Thanks to our wonderful reviewers once more. If you leave signed ones, we'll check out your stuff. Ranger's Honour!