NOTE: This is gonna be a real short chapter, because it will only state the
events of Half Time. Guess who makes his first appearance in this one? Go,
on, guess. we're not telling- read it and find out! It is now half time.
The question is, for the moment- Where's Gimli?
LUTHIEN: Welcome to Half Time, folks! First, a score update!
Random R2 droids put up the score cards to reveal:
RING LORDS 3 (Meriadoc Brandybuck, Legolas Greenleaf, Samwise Gamgee)
HOGWARTS WIZARDS 1 (Oliver Wood)
LUTHIEN: The Wizards have one half in which to catch up, but with Haldir as the opposing goalkeeper, they haven't got a prayer! Now, we should, of course subject you to words from our sponsors, who are-
TINUVIEL: Absolute idiots.
LUTHIEN: Yes. But before getting to the advertisements, let's look at the secret hidden video footage thingy we're getting live from the Wizards' locker room!
TINUVIEL: Where we suspect they're keeping poor Gimli locked up!
LUTHIEN: ROLL 'EM!
Camera footage (live!!!) is displayed on the huge screen in the stadium.
HOGWARTS WIZARDS LOCKER ROOM
Dumbledore is addressing his team, not looking happy. A locker next to him seems to be vibrating violently.
Dumbledore: You kidnapped the guy with the beard, didn't you?
Harry: Yes Professor Dumbledore.
Dumbledore: Did I ask you to kidnap the guy with the beard?
Harry: No, Professor Dumbledore.
Dumbledore: Then why did you kidnap the guy with the beard?
Harry: I don't know, Professor Dumbledore. (Tinuviel: Sheesh!)
Hermione: As you know, Professor, I'm very smart, and I overheard one of the glowing cheerleaders say that the fate of them all rested on a very small pair of shoulders!
Harry: I, being the boy who lived, kidnapped the first small guy I saw! The guy with the beard!
Locker: LET ME OUT!!!!!
Harry pulls out his wand evilly and mutters something, pointing at the locker. Pitiful screaming is heard from the locker.
That instant, the door to the locker room is blown open, and the Ring Lords (and Sirius Black) step inside coolly. For a second, the two teams stand staring at each other.
Gandalf: Hand over the dwarf, Wizards!
Snape: If you want him, come and claim him!!
Arwen comes bounding in, Followed by a mysterious figure.
Arwen: That's MY line!! (She bonks Snape in the head)
Malfoy: PROFESSOR SNAPE! NOOOOOOOOO!
Arwen: That's what you get for stealing my line!
Mysterious Figure: Your line, is it? You stole my lines! And my scene! And my horse! And my existence!
All Ring Lords: Glorfindel?
Glorfindel: Yes, it is I, the poor forgotten Glorfindel. the poor ill treated, cut out Glorfindel. poor, poor me.ARGH!
Glorfindel, letting out a cry of rage, punches Arwen's lights out, returns Aragorn's high- five, and strolls out of the room pleasantly.
It takes a while for everyone to get back to getting Gimli back.
Sam: You give Mister Gimli back, or else!
Frodo: (whispering) Or else what, Sam?
Sam: Or else they will taste the wrath of my PANS! And that's no joke, 'cause I am SAMWISE THE STRONG!!! Muahahahaha!!
The Wizards look very freaked out, because Sam is whirling a very dangerous looking frying pan above his head. They get even more freaked out when Gimli tugs very hard on Dumbledore's beard. Harry shrieks and passes out because the locker looks untouched.
Harry: A GHOST! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Legolas: (grimly) That is no mere ghost. That is.
Another mysterious figure, a dark haired Elf who was so far not noticed, leaps off the locker.
Legolas: (narrowing his eyes menacingly) Figwit.
Figwit: (just as menacingly) Legolas.
Texas showdown type music plays from nowhere, and all the other occupants of the room step back and seem to fade away. The spectators watching the screen stop breathing. Mara the Excited fan passes out.
Both the Elves reach, in slow motion, for their bows and arrows.
As quick as lightning, they both draw and let loose. At the same time. The arrows zoom through the air, and slice through each other, making perfect halves. Harry, who was just regaining consciousness, gets to his feet to see this happen millimeters in front of his face, and faints again.
Everyone else is too impressed by this display of Elven coolness to bother about it (except for poor Tinuviel, who looks like she's on the verge of tears, muttering 'so close.so close.').
Figwit: Next time, Prince of Mirkwood.
He twirls around and disappears.
Boromir: It seems they thought you carry the fate of us all, little dwarf! All right, Gimli?
Gimli: (shaken) Itch. under armour. couldn't scratch.
The Ring Lords look in disgust at the other team, then turn and walk away, leaving the Wizards to tend to their injured players.
Gandalf: (to the rest of his team) They captured one of our own, even though it took us around 45 minutes to figure that out.
Pippin: This means WAR!!!
Gandalf: Not so loud, you Fool of a Took!
Pippin: Did you know that line's getting too clichéd?
Gandalf is about to say something about a wizard never being clichéd, when Luke, feeling really bored with no one to talk to except the Random Droids, blows the whistle to end half time.
Well, we did tell you it'd be short, right? We wanted to have some ads or something, but once we got to the end, we just couldn't think of a place to add the, er, ads! Figwit fans, don't despair! He'll be back!!
Oh, and Apricot, trust us, Saudi Arabia is even more boring than it sounds! We could go on for all eternity jotting down all the other 'boring-nesses' of this Underworld we call our 'home- away from home'!
LUTHIEN: Welcome to Half Time, folks! First, a score update!
Random R2 droids put up the score cards to reveal:
RING LORDS 3 (Meriadoc Brandybuck, Legolas Greenleaf, Samwise Gamgee)
HOGWARTS WIZARDS 1 (Oliver Wood)
LUTHIEN: The Wizards have one half in which to catch up, but with Haldir as the opposing goalkeeper, they haven't got a prayer! Now, we should, of course subject you to words from our sponsors, who are-
TINUVIEL: Absolute idiots.
LUTHIEN: Yes. But before getting to the advertisements, let's look at the secret hidden video footage thingy we're getting live from the Wizards' locker room!
TINUVIEL: Where we suspect they're keeping poor Gimli locked up!
LUTHIEN: ROLL 'EM!
Camera footage (live!!!) is displayed on the huge screen in the stadium.
HOGWARTS WIZARDS LOCKER ROOM
Dumbledore is addressing his team, not looking happy. A locker next to him seems to be vibrating violently.
Dumbledore: You kidnapped the guy with the beard, didn't you?
Harry: Yes Professor Dumbledore.
Dumbledore: Did I ask you to kidnap the guy with the beard?
Harry: No, Professor Dumbledore.
Dumbledore: Then why did you kidnap the guy with the beard?
Harry: I don't know, Professor Dumbledore. (Tinuviel: Sheesh!)
Hermione: As you know, Professor, I'm very smart, and I overheard one of the glowing cheerleaders say that the fate of them all rested on a very small pair of shoulders!
Harry: I, being the boy who lived, kidnapped the first small guy I saw! The guy with the beard!
Locker: LET ME OUT!!!!!
Harry pulls out his wand evilly and mutters something, pointing at the locker. Pitiful screaming is heard from the locker.
That instant, the door to the locker room is blown open, and the Ring Lords (and Sirius Black) step inside coolly. For a second, the two teams stand staring at each other.
Gandalf: Hand over the dwarf, Wizards!
Snape: If you want him, come and claim him!!
Arwen comes bounding in, Followed by a mysterious figure.
Arwen: That's MY line!! (She bonks Snape in the head)
Malfoy: PROFESSOR SNAPE! NOOOOOOOOO!
Arwen: That's what you get for stealing my line!
Mysterious Figure: Your line, is it? You stole my lines! And my scene! And my horse! And my existence!
All Ring Lords: Glorfindel?
Glorfindel: Yes, it is I, the poor forgotten Glorfindel. the poor ill treated, cut out Glorfindel. poor, poor me.ARGH!
Glorfindel, letting out a cry of rage, punches Arwen's lights out, returns Aragorn's high- five, and strolls out of the room pleasantly.
It takes a while for everyone to get back to getting Gimli back.
Sam: You give Mister Gimli back, or else!
Frodo: (whispering) Or else what, Sam?
Sam: Or else they will taste the wrath of my PANS! And that's no joke, 'cause I am SAMWISE THE STRONG!!! Muahahahaha!!
The Wizards look very freaked out, because Sam is whirling a very dangerous looking frying pan above his head. They get even more freaked out when Gimli tugs very hard on Dumbledore's beard. Harry shrieks and passes out because the locker looks untouched.
Harry: A GHOST! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Legolas: (grimly) That is no mere ghost. That is.
Another mysterious figure, a dark haired Elf who was so far not noticed, leaps off the locker.
Legolas: (narrowing his eyes menacingly) Figwit.
Figwit: (just as menacingly) Legolas.
Texas showdown type music plays from nowhere, and all the other occupants of the room step back and seem to fade away. The spectators watching the screen stop breathing. Mara the Excited fan passes out.
Both the Elves reach, in slow motion, for their bows and arrows.
As quick as lightning, they both draw and let loose. At the same time. The arrows zoom through the air, and slice through each other, making perfect halves. Harry, who was just regaining consciousness, gets to his feet to see this happen millimeters in front of his face, and faints again.
Everyone else is too impressed by this display of Elven coolness to bother about it (except for poor Tinuviel, who looks like she's on the verge of tears, muttering 'so close.so close.').
Figwit: Next time, Prince of Mirkwood.
He twirls around and disappears.
Boromir: It seems they thought you carry the fate of us all, little dwarf! All right, Gimli?
Gimli: (shaken) Itch. under armour. couldn't scratch.
The Ring Lords look in disgust at the other team, then turn and walk away, leaving the Wizards to tend to their injured players.
Gandalf: (to the rest of his team) They captured one of our own, even though it took us around 45 minutes to figure that out.
Pippin: This means WAR!!!
Gandalf: Not so loud, you Fool of a Took!
Pippin: Did you know that line's getting too clichéd?
Gandalf is about to say something about a wizard never being clichéd, when Luke, feeling really bored with no one to talk to except the Random Droids, blows the whistle to end half time.
Well, we did tell you it'd be short, right? We wanted to have some ads or something, but once we got to the end, we just couldn't think of a place to add the, er, ads! Figwit fans, don't despair! He'll be back!!
Oh, and Apricot, trust us, Saudi Arabia is even more boring than it sounds! We could go on for all eternity jotting down all the other 'boring-nesses' of this Underworld we call our 'home- away from home'!