Explanations
When we emerge from the trees, Miss Parker runs over to us.
"Ah, just the person I wanted to see," Max says warmly when she's within earshot. I just watch stony-faced. I have to be here, but she doesn't have to think it's for pleasure.
"Where have you been??" Miss Parker asks me, completely oblivious to Max's presence. A moment later she notices him. "Who are you?"
"I'm Massimo Parenti. I believe my current title is 'Nagging Oversized Stalker.'" I smile again despite myself, if only because I know how absolutely absurd he must sound to her.
"Oh," is the best response she can manage. She looks to me and repeats her question. "Where did you disappear to??"
Max doesn't even wait to see if I'll respond. "We were just out walking and talking in the forest." He pauses. "Actually, we came back here to talk to you."
Parker looks to me, then back to Max. "We? I'm sorry, have I met you before?"
"No, though I think I've heard your name tossed around." For a moment I think he's going to ask about her first name, then mercifully he moves on. "We were talking about what you told him earlier, and had some questions."
I'm not a fan of the copious use of 'we' and it is clearly confusing Parker. Me returning angry she might have expected, but not this.
"Uhh... Okay," she responds finally.
"Okay. Jarod was telling me about his memory being taken away." Parker looks to me, clearly shocked. Finally she looks back to Max as he continues. "How exactly did you and Sydney," I'm surprised to hear his name--I don't think I've mentioned him directly, "manage to convince him?"
Parker looks surprised. "We could never have convinced him!" she explains immediately. "He would rather have been killed then continue SIMing." She's talking directly to Max now, as though I'm not here. "I think he still feels that way," she says quietly, and looks down. I catch Max turning to get a glimpse of my face. Then he's back to Parker.
"You did what you thougth was best, right?" She nods slowly. "Sometimes friends have to ignore what friends want in order to help them get what they need." He pauses to let that sink in, then continues gently, "Can you tell us what exactly was done to him? He needs to knwo there's nothing he could have done."
I clench my hands at hearing what he's asking. I'm about to say something to him when Miss Parker answer. "I... I'm sorry, I don't think I can do that." She is valiantly struggling to control her emotions and is taking great care to keep from looking in my direction.
"Miss Parker... Miss Parker!" She looks up as his tone becomes stronger. "It's not your fault."
"Yes it is..." she says, beginning to cry despite herself. "I brought him back to the Centre--I should have tried to help him escape!"
"I put my hand on Max's shoulder. "Come on, leave her alone, I don't need to hear this." I don't need to hear her say what she should have done but didn't, I finish to myself.
Max shakes his head. "No, you're wrong. You need to hear it, and she needs to tell it and know that she is no more responsible for what people made her do than you are."
"I could have said no, I could have fought it!" she exclaims through tears.
"And then what would have happened?"
"They would have killed me," she admits.
"Then what would they have done to Jarod?"
"Either tortured him to death or until he was too far gone to know what was happening when Sydney hypnotized him."
"That's what they wanted to do, isn't it?" he finishes gently.
She looks up in surprise, then nods. She still doesn't look at me, and I'm glad. It's infuriating and terrifying to hear about the negotions over my life.
"Okay, having established that this was the 'easiest' way, tell him. He still needs to hear that there was nothing he could have done. He thinks that it's his fault, that he let Dr. Sydney hypnotize him." At this he slipped his hand over mine. I realize it serves a double purpose--he can feel my mood a bit, and make sure I don't go anywhere. At this moment I have my fists balled up so tightly that if my fingernails weren't so short (courtesy of the Centre), I would be cutting my own hands.
Having had the purpose explained, Miss Parker is ready to begin. I cut in quickly, my voice a dry whisper. "She doesn't have to do this."
Max squeezes my hand. "You can do this, buddy," he replies, ignoring what I said. "I know you, and you're strong." He looks back to Parker. "Go ahead."
"I'm going to start with the 'capture.'" She looks at me now. "You let me get close. We had become friends over the time that you had been out, and you knew that I would let you go." Her voice was shaking slightly. "But Lyle came." I jump, recognizing the name. "Yes, the one from the dream." She takes a deep breath. "By pure accident, he had blocked off your pre-planned escape route."
I can't stay quiet anymore. "Why didn't I try to run, though??"
"It's a long story, but basically whoever brought you in--Lyle or me--got more power, while the other got demoted or--taken care of." She looks me in the eyes. "You let me take you in because if Lyle caught you, I would have been dead."
I can imagine how awful the situation must have been, and I don't want to. I don't want to hear this! I pull my fist out of Max's, but he grabs my wrist. "Hold on, Jarod." I shake my head through my tears.
"I was out for five years! I would have died rather than go back!"
Parker looks at me. "No, you would have died rather than help them. But you weren't willing to give up your life when there was still a chance that you could escape." Another deep breath. "So when we got back, I had that extra power, and I used it to take as much power as I could over your treatment. Syd--" she stops for a moment. "Syd and I talked and talked, and the best situation we could come up with was hypnosis. We really didn't think it would last--Syd didn't think it was really possible to block out five years like that, but apparently he did a better job than he thought."
"Enough," I say, calling an end to all of this.
"No," is all Max has to say. He looked back to her. "But how did you disorient him so that he wouldn't stop you without him being so far gone that it wouldn't work?"
Her voice took on the characteristic of a doctor describing symptoms while thinking as little as possible about the human being involved--just like Sydney when we used to SIM. "Five days starvation and solitary, no one in sight. Water, but not enough. Then induced hypothermia, still without people. No signs of what was being planned. Then, in the disorientated state from the combined starvation-dehydration-hypothermia, as he--" she stumbled over the first pronoun--"as he woke up, hypnosis. His mental state was improving but--"
I didn't hear the rest. I had been trained too well, and I have SIMed my own state as she has spoken. I sink to the ground, Max kneeling next to me. I wretch, but my stomach is empty. I slowly become aware of Max speaking to me. "Come on, Jarod... It's okay..." I feel something cool on my forehead, and then I come to--I'm lying on the ground and Max is wiping my forehead with a damp cloth. Miss Parker is leaning over looking worried.
When we emerge from the trees, Miss Parker runs over to us.
"Ah, just the person I wanted to see," Max says warmly when she's within earshot. I just watch stony-faced. I have to be here, but she doesn't have to think it's for pleasure.
"Where have you been??" Miss Parker asks me, completely oblivious to Max's presence. A moment later she notices him. "Who are you?"
"I'm Massimo Parenti. I believe my current title is 'Nagging Oversized Stalker.'" I smile again despite myself, if only because I know how absolutely absurd he must sound to her.
"Oh," is the best response she can manage. She looks to me and repeats her question. "Where did you disappear to??"
Max doesn't even wait to see if I'll respond. "We were just out walking and talking in the forest." He pauses. "Actually, we came back here to talk to you."
Parker looks to me, then back to Max. "We? I'm sorry, have I met you before?"
"No, though I think I've heard your name tossed around." For a moment I think he's going to ask about her first name, then mercifully he moves on. "We were talking about what you told him earlier, and had some questions."
I'm not a fan of the copious use of 'we' and it is clearly confusing Parker. Me returning angry she might have expected, but not this.
"Uhh... Okay," she responds finally.
"Okay. Jarod was telling me about his memory being taken away." Parker looks to me, clearly shocked. Finally she looks back to Max as he continues. "How exactly did you and Sydney," I'm surprised to hear his name--I don't think I've mentioned him directly, "manage to convince him?"
Parker looks surprised. "We could never have convinced him!" she explains immediately. "He would rather have been killed then continue SIMing." She's talking directly to Max now, as though I'm not here. "I think he still feels that way," she says quietly, and looks down. I catch Max turning to get a glimpse of my face. Then he's back to Parker.
"You did what you thougth was best, right?" She nods slowly. "Sometimes friends have to ignore what friends want in order to help them get what they need." He pauses to let that sink in, then continues gently, "Can you tell us what exactly was done to him? He needs to knwo there's nothing he could have done."
I clench my hands at hearing what he's asking. I'm about to say something to him when Miss Parker answer. "I... I'm sorry, I don't think I can do that." She is valiantly struggling to control her emotions and is taking great care to keep from looking in my direction.
"Miss Parker... Miss Parker!" She looks up as his tone becomes stronger. "It's not your fault."
"Yes it is..." she says, beginning to cry despite herself. "I brought him back to the Centre--I should have tried to help him escape!"
"I put my hand on Max's shoulder. "Come on, leave her alone, I don't need to hear this." I don't need to hear her say what she should have done but didn't, I finish to myself.
Max shakes his head. "No, you're wrong. You need to hear it, and she needs to tell it and know that she is no more responsible for what people made her do than you are."
"I could have said no, I could have fought it!" she exclaims through tears.
"And then what would have happened?"
"They would have killed me," she admits.
"Then what would they have done to Jarod?"
"Either tortured him to death or until he was too far gone to know what was happening when Sydney hypnotized him."
"That's what they wanted to do, isn't it?" he finishes gently.
She looks up in surprise, then nods. She still doesn't look at me, and I'm glad. It's infuriating and terrifying to hear about the negotions over my life.
"Okay, having established that this was the 'easiest' way, tell him. He still needs to hear that there was nothing he could have done. He thinks that it's his fault, that he let Dr. Sydney hypnotize him." At this he slipped his hand over mine. I realize it serves a double purpose--he can feel my mood a bit, and make sure I don't go anywhere. At this moment I have my fists balled up so tightly that if my fingernails weren't so short (courtesy of the Centre), I would be cutting my own hands.
Having had the purpose explained, Miss Parker is ready to begin. I cut in quickly, my voice a dry whisper. "She doesn't have to do this."
Max squeezes my hand. "You can do this, buddy," he replies, ignoring what I said. "I know you, and you're strong." He looks back to Parker. "Go ahead."
"I'm going to start with the 'capture.'" She looks at me now. "You let me get close. We had become friends over the time that you had been out, and you knew that I would let you go." Her voice was shaking slightly. "But Lyle came." I jump, recognizing the name. "Yes, the one from the dream." She takes a deep breath. "By pure accident, he had blocked off your pre-planned escape route."
I can't stay quiet anymore. "Why didn't I try to run, though??"
"It's a long story, but basically whoever brought you in--Lyle or me--got more power, while the other got demoted or--taken care of." She looks me in the eyes. "You let me take you in because if Lyle caught you, I would have been dead."
I can imagine how awful the situation must have been, and I don't want to. I don't want to hear this! I pull my fist out of Max's, but he grabs my wrist. "Hold on, Jarod." I shake my head through my tears.
"I was out for five years! I would have died rather than go back!"
Parker looks at me. "No, you would have died rather than help them. But you weren't willing to give up your life when there was still a chance that you could escape." Another deep breath. "So when we got back, I had that extra power, and I used it to take as much power as I could over your treatment. Syd--" she stops for a moment. "Syd and I talked and talked, and the best situation we could come up with was hypnosis. We really didn't think it would last--Syd didn't think it was really possible to block out five years like that, but apparently he did a better job than he thought."
"Enough," I say, calling an end to all of this.
"No," is all Max has to say. He looked back to her. "But how did you disorient him so that he wouldn't stop you without him being so far gone that it wouldn't work?"
Her voice took on the characteristic of a doctor describing symptoms while thinking as little as possible about the human being involved--just like Sydney when we used to SIM. "Five days starvation and solitary, no one in sight. Water, but not enough. Then induced hypothermia, still without people. No signs of what was being planned. Then, in the disorientated state from the combined starvation-dehydration-hypothermia, as he--" she stumbled over the first pronoun--"as he woke up, hypnosis. His mental state was improving but--"
I didn't hear the rest. I had been trained too well, and I have SIMed my own state as she has spoken. I sink to the ground, Max kneeling next to me. I wretch, but my stomach is empty. I slowly become aware of Max speaking to me. "Come on, Jarod... It's okay..." I feel something cool on my forehead, and then I come to--I'm lying on the ground and Max is wiping my forehead with a damp cloth. Miss Parker is leaning over looking worried.