Completion

For a few moments the conversation ceases as we both focus on our food. It's good, and yet completely different from dinner. How did I let the Centre feed me the same tasteless food for so long?

I look up, curiousity striking--something that I'd been wondering for a while. "Do you do this kind of work often?" I can't help but wonder if there are really that many people who need the kind of help I do. From what I know most people haven't been kidnapped and raised by corporations.

"Babysitting naive, stubborn geniuses? No, not often." He chuckles. "I volunteered. I work for the FBI, and I heard about what was happening. I know the fall-out was going to be more than physical, and I wanted to make sure that no one got overlooked."

I ignore his jab for the moment. "FBI? Then you're not a psychiatrist?"

"Oh no, I'm that too... just a little less conventional."

"I noticed," I deadpan.

"Oh, just shut up and eat!"

"I thought you were supposed to be helpful, not mean."

"There's a difference?" He grins. I return to my food, savoring every bite. Almost too soon I am finished.

"Are we going to work on getting my memory back today?"

"Ah, there's the question I've been expecting all morning." He sighs. "It's going to be a little more complicated than I was hoping."

"I can teach you all you need to know about--"

He interrupts me. "No, Jarod, it's not that. It's... Well, it's like Sydney built a dam in your mind. He had expected that it would leak, that your memories would escape, because he didn't think I block that big could stand up against the pressure. Unfortunately, it did, and all those memories have been building up. It would be easy enough to remove the dam, but I don't know what kind of damage could be done if all those memories come flooding out all at once."

I nod thoughtfully. "So we have to try to find a way to make a hole without damaging the stability of the dam.

"Exactly."

"We could start taking it apart from the top."

He nods. "We could. But those would be the latest memories, and you wouldn't have anything to base them on."

I shake my head. "That may be the only choice."

Max frowns. "I don't like it. Your most recent memory will be the Centre, and these are going to come fast enough that in a sense they will be stronger than life--emotionally at least, especially without context."

Max slammed his hand on the counter, swearing under his breath. "I don't like it!" I am startled at the first display of temper from him. He calms and smiles sheepishly. "I'm sorry, I'm just--"

"It's okay," I assure him. I pause. "I know you're worried, but this looks like the best chance we have, and I need my memory back," I continue, a bit of my desperation slipping into my voice.

He takes so long to respond that I almost think he didn't hear me. Finally, he begins, "I know you probably don't want strangers here, but... would you be willing to let Miss Parker come? She might be able to help clarify things." I fill in what he doesn't add: And she can help me if you get out of control.

I shrug. "She knows more about this than I do."

"I just want you to be sure," his tone is serious, "because your thoughts and especially emotions are going to be more transparent than either of you are used to."

I sigh, but thinking it through only takes a moment. "I know... but I trust her." I smile bittersweetly. "Maybe only because I only remember her as a child, but there it is."

Max smiles. "Okay, so now are you going to call her or what?"

"Oh." I walk to the phone and pick it up. "Do you have her number?"

"Just a sec." He walks over to a desk and starts looking through the MANY papers stacked there.

I look back to the phone. I listen to the dial tone, then to my surprise find my fingers already dialing a number. I let it ring, curious if what I just dialed is a memory, and if so whose phone number I have remembered.

"What?!" is the answer.

"Miss Parker?" I answer, partly surprised at the identity and partly amused. Max turns around in surprise and gives me a questioning glance, to which I shrug.

She sighs, and I can imagine her rolling her eyes. "Yes, Jarod. Who did you think it was?" There's more than a little sarcasm in her voice.

"I wasn't sure," I admit. "Do you always answer your phone that way?"

From her irritated tone I can tell I've hit a sore spot. "Yes. Now was there something you wanted or did you just feel like prank calling someone?"

"Prank calling?" From her huff I know it's not the time to ask a curious question. I sigh. "Look, I don't know what I said, but can we start over? I didn't call to exchange barbs."

There's silence on the other end of the line for a long moment, then a milder Miss Parker speaks. "I'm sorry, Jarod. Old habits die hard."

"It's fine," I reply, glad to have dampened her wrath for the moment. I hesitate. "Well, I was calling because, well..." I glare at Max, who is chuckling at me. "Max is going to start working on my memory back today, and he thinks having you here would help."

Silence. "Do *you* want me there? You wouldn't mind?" she asks hesitantly.

"No... why would I?" Now that we've established that she didn't have any choice with the memory block, I'm not really that angry anymore. Which is not to say that I'm not angry, it's just not directed toward her.

"Okay," she agrees. "Here, why don't you let Max give me directions?"

"I can give you directions from the Centre." Max looks to me in surprise and Parker is silent. "What?" I ask both of them simultaneously.

Fortunately their responses are not simultaneous. "I thought you were almost asleep on the way home last night," says Max.

"I just forget about your memory sometimes," explains Parker a moment later, having paused before answering.

I laugh and shake my head, then give her directions. "Oh, that's not far from here--I'll be there in 30 minutes."

"Okay." We hang up simultaneously.

Max looks at me. "Okay, what was that all about? One second I was looking for the number, the next I hear you talking on the phone with her!"

"Apparently my fingers remembered," I muse.

Max shakes his head, but he's smiling. "You are one unusual guy, Jarod."

"Hopefully we can take amnesiac out of that list, soon." I grin. "Not that that would make me normal."

Max returns to the kitchen and I follow to help clean up. By the time Miss Parker arrives, we have returned the house to the state it was in before I arrived.

"So what am I doing here, exactly?" Parker asks once we've settled in the living room.

"You're helping to fill in important details." He explains, "Unfortunately, the amount of time with which we're dealing makes it dangerous to remove the block all at once. Kind of like the flood after a dam collapses." She nods in understanding. "What that means is that we have to start at the END and move backwards." Her eyes widen. Max nods. "I know, but it's the best option we have." He turns to me. "And I want to remind you that not all the memories are going to come out immediately. I'm giving your mind access, but it has to reactivate the old connections." I nod in understanding.

After he starts, I don't remember anything again until he wakes me up. They look at me expectantly, but I don't feel any different.

Max looks to Parker. "Can you say something that might trigger a memory?"

"Okay..." she looks uncertain. "He followed me!"

My gaze meets hers, and I can see the wheels turning in her head. "He's outside?" I ask with a dry throat, turning to look--

"Jarod!" I blink. Max is standing in front of me. I smile grimly.

"Well, it worked."

Max nods. "I think that's enough for today."

My head comes up. "What? But--"

"No, Jarod." He shakes his head firmly. "I won't do it."

"I have five years of memories in my head!" I exclaim angrily. "At this rate it will take 10 to get them all out!"

"You don't know how much has been uncovered yet," he reminds me reasonably. But I'm not feeling very reasonable.

"You have a lifetime of memories in the world--people, places, foods, adventures--I have five years, and they are all hiding in here!" I tap my head. "You can't stop at giving me memories of being dragged back to that hellhole!"

"I said I wouldn't do it," he repeats quietly. Furious at his calmness and his firm refusal, I launch myself at him. It is completely thoughtless, but apparently Max was expecting it--he has me pinned within 15 seconds of my first punch.

Furious, I try to throw him off--and nearly succeed. "Let me go!" I scream.

"Calm down, Jarod," he tells me quietly. "I'm not going to hurt you."

"You already are!" I yell. "That's all you want to do, is hurt me!"

"It's okay, Jarod. They don't have you anymore, they can't hurt you ever again."

"Let me go," I plead, still struggling. "You can't control me." The anger is evaporating, leaving behind traces of fear.

"I don't want to hurt you, Jarod." He reminds me. "It's okay."

"No, it's not," I whisper, tears beginning to stream down my face. I'm almost limp in his grasp. He slowly releases me.

"Yes, Jarod, it *is* okay."

The tears expend themselves quickly, leaving me feeling hollow and exhausted. Finally I look up--into the eyes of Miss Parker. I realize that she has been watching through all of this. Now I know what Max was warning me about. Suddenly overcome with shame, I climb to my feet and quickly leave the room. I hear her call out, but I can't look into her eyes, not right now. I find a corner hidden in the dining room and sit down--I just want to be alone.

After a few minutes, Max comes into view. He doesn't say anything, just sits down next to me. Finally I speak. "I'm sorry... I don't know what came over me," I admit honestly.

"I do." I look to him. "You just had to deal with all the emotions of your capture, without adrenaline or a target." He gives a bittersweet smile. "The human mind can come up with those easily enough."

"Now I know what you were talking about," I mumble, looking toward the living room. He follows my glance and my train of thought.

"I think she understands more than you think," he comments.

"How could she understand that? I don't even understand it!"

"I think you two are in a very good position to understand the problems of the other.. better even than your own."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You're like two sides of the same coin, and both of you are trying to discover the other side of the coin." He grins. "Think about it."

I do, but nothing comes to mind immediately. My brain will keep chewing on it, I know. "Is she still in there?" He nods. "Thank you, Max," I tell him gratefully, knowing he will know what I'm talking about. He smiles and remains behind while I force myself to walk all the way to the living room. As I enter, she turns. I give her a sheepish smile, then open my mouth to speak.

"I'm sorry." I'm surprised to realize that we've spoken in unison. "What are *you* sorry about?" I ask, confused.

"I'm sorry for ever having taken part in the corporation that hurt you. I'm so sorry for all you've had to go through."

I shake my head. "You've been hurt every bit as much as me--you just haven't been allowed to show it, any more than I have."

She bites her lip, fighting tears. "How can you be so understanding?"

"How can you be so strong?" I give her a half smile. "Max said we're two sides of the same coin."

She moves to sit next to me on the couch. "What was he talking about?"

I shrug. "Your guess is as good as mine. He also said we're both trying to discover the other side of the coin."

She smiles. "Sounds like we need to get to know each other."

"I'd be up for that." I swipe a piece of hair out of her face gently; I'd forgotten how beautiful she is. "You've been hiding in that Ivory Tower for way too long."

She laughs. "I've been waiting for my handsome prince to come get me."

"I was a little busy with the dragon."

She nods. "I know, I had to come rescue you!" She smiles. "I guess even fairy tales have to be politically correct now."

"Politically... correct?"

She rolls her eyes. "Oh no... Max! Get in here! We need to get this boy his memory back." I turn to look at see him standing in the doorway, watching us with a smile. He opens his mouth to speak.

"Jarod!" I jump, and suddenly a snow-filled landscape filters back into my vision. How long have I been sitting here? "Lost in the past?" she asks, placing her hand gently on my shoulder as she joins me at the window.

"Hi honey," I reply warmly, covering her hand with mine. "Yes, I was."

"What were you remembering?"

"The end... the beginning."

"Do you think about Max often?"

I nod. "I wish he hadn't disappeared so suddenly. Or that he had left some contact information." We both stare out the window for another moment, and then I jump to my feet.

"Let's dance, Miriam!"

She laughs, and it lights up her face. "Right now? I was just coming to tell you that we're due at your parents' house in an hour. It's time to get ready."

I pout playfully. "Please, it's Christmas Eve! Just one dance... Our family won't mind if we're a few minutes late."

She laughs again. "Okay." As she lays her head on my shoulder and we sway gently to the music, I have a thought.

"Remember how Max said we were two sides of the same coin?"

"Mmmhmm."

"I think we're rich now."


You are the sunshine

I am the rain that falls in line

You are a candle

And I am your darkness.

You are the moonlight

I am the cloud that passes by

You are a vision

And I am blindness.


And so it goes

The story is far too old to know it all.

On and on...

We dance until the song is off the radio.

On and on...

We hold each other long after the crowd is gone.

On and on...

Our love goes on and on.


You are an island

I am the raging of the sea

You are a fortress

And I am a bandit.

You are the valley

You are the bird that flies so high

You are a temple

And I am a beggar.


And so it goes

The story is far too old to know it all.

On and on...

We dance until the song is off the radio.

On and on...

We hold each other long after the crowd is gone.

On and on...

Our love goes on and on.


Take me to your drawbridge

Take me to your door

Take me when I'm hungry, baby

Take me when I'm poor

Take me when you're sick of love

Take me when you've had enough

Take me when I'm lost, alone, and don't know the reasons why


And so it goes

The story is far too old to know it all.

On and on...

We dance until the song is off the radio.

On and on...

We hold each other long after the crowd is gone.

On and on...

Our love goes on and on.


On and on and on and on...

We dance until the song is off the radio.

On and on...

We hold each other long after the crowd is gone.

On and on...

Our love goes on and on.


You are a vision and I am blindness.

--------------

Okay, let's see. The song is called "On and On" and was written and performed by Kevin Max. It randomly came on while I was finishing this story and it just fit far too well.

Yes, that's right, this story is finished. Let me know what you think. I do plan to write a sequel; unfortunately, you may have to wait until after December. I'm trying to transition to writing stories in Italian, at least while I'm in Italy, and unfortunately I doubt any of you will be able to read them. (If there's someone who CAN read Italian, let me know!!)

Hope you enjoyed reading this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Molly (molly_morrison@yahoo.com)