The Demise Of The Taliban
By hotaruchan2002 and my friend Helen.
Disclaimer: This story was written by me and my friend Helen post 9/11. We were both worried about everything and thought wouldn't it be cool if the Sailor Scouts, namely Mercury and Saturn, defeated the Taliban. Note: There is some American bashing, and we're sorry, but we're Canadians and we love Canada!!!! Now, on with the fict. It is also written in script form.
The Demise Of The Taliban
Bush: But Diiiick, I wanna push the button *whines*
Cheney: No!
Bush:Please?!
Cheney: No George. Jenna, stop raiding your dad's booze. This is not the time for you to get plastered.
Jenna: Is so!*glug glug*
*Sailor Mercury and Sailor Saturn apppear suddenly.*
Cheney: Hey, what are you doing here?
Bush: Woo hoo! Girls in short skirts!!!
*Mercury sighs and hands Barbara Bush a mallet, which the First Lady uses to whack George Bush with*
Merucry: It's our job to save the world, Mr.Cheney. Since your advisors are obviously useless, I think the situation calls for an intervention.
Cheney: Yeah, but why you two? Why not Sailor Moon, or Mars, or one of the others?
Mercury:Well, I'm the most politically aware senshi, and Hotaru, well....
Saturn: I'm pissed!!!! That son of a bitch Bin Laden's blowing up the planet. That's MY job! I'm gonna nail his ass!
Mercury:*sweat drops* You see?
Cheney:Alright, but who sent you?
Mercury: Jean Chretien. He flet you guys needed outside advice and you never listen to him, he thought you might listen to two Japanese girls with super power, short skirts and blue and black hair.
*Bush develops a nose bleed*
Cheney: So, will you help us?
Saturn: Damn straight!
*The two senshi vanish and reappear in Taliban headquarters as Ami and Hotaru. Bin Laden and the Taliban leaders are sitting around plotting nefarious schemes. They stop at the sight of the two girls*
Hotaru: Alright Osama! I've got a bone to pick with you! Saturn Power!!!!
Ami: Mercury Power!
*The two girls transform into senshi with scenes of flashing lights and blatant nudity. Bin Laden takes one look at their too tight uniforms, super short mini skirts and *gasp* Saturn's lace up bitch boots, and drops dead from a heart attack. The other Taliban google in astonishment*
Saturn:*peers at Bin Laden and sweat drops* Well that was fast. *turns to Taliban* But I'm not done with YOU bastards yet!
*From afar we can see men wearing turbans flying through the air in different directions, floating in bubbles, others being blown up. Mercury and Satrun are kicking serious Taliban ass. In a near by Afghan refugee camp, Lita, Rei, Mina, Usagi, and Chibi-Usa are busy cooking up big meals for the refugees. A lot of the men were having a hard time with the senshi's short skirts, but some of the women were already writing out senshi uniform designs. Rei, predictably kept burning the food*
Chibi-Usa: Hey everyone, dinner's ready!!
*The Afghanis happily eat a better meal than they've had in months, and Chibi-Usa plays with the Afghani children afterwards and even shares her toys (the kids also thought her pink hair was a hoot). Usagi reacts to the food in her normal manner:she keeps trying to eat all of it. Lita smacks her*
Lita: No way Usagi!
Usagi: Awww*whines*
*She wanders off, then comes back in a burqa. Mina is not fooled by this at this, especially since Usagi's pigtails stick out at the bottom and her odangos are a dead give away. Usagi goes for the food again, and Mina wacks her with a huge mallet.*
Mina: No way!!! You greedy pig.
Usagi: But but but...
*Hotaru and Ami return with many scratched and soaking wet Taliban in tow,and as usual Ami is lecturing them*
Ami:You realize that nothing in the Koran says anything about killing non-Muslims and oppressing women, and I know that for a fact because blah blah blah blah....
Hotaru:*rolls eyes* So, did we miss lunch? I suppose we could feed these losers.
Usagi: Not with MY bag lunch. *sticks tounge out at Taliban*And the whole darn Nothern Alliance is coming to dinner too. I don't wanna feed all of them!! WAAAAHHHH!!!!
Chibi-Usa: What a cry baby.
*Everyone laughs at Usagi, even the defeated Taliban, who think her hair is hilarious.*
Narrator: So anyways, everyone lived happily ever after. Even the Taliban who realized they were wrong after all and made Afghanistan a democratic peace loving state with lots of rights for women. Usagi got her lunch after all, the senshi got medals, Ami got elected leader of the UN and Hotaru got drunk with the Bush twins and decided NOT to blow up the world after all.
THE END
By hotaruchan2002 and my friend Helen.
Disclaimer: This story was written by me and my friend Helen post 9/11. We were both worried about everything and thought wouldn't it be cool if the Sailor Scouts, namely Mercury and Saturn, defeated the Taliban. Note: There is some American bashing, and we're sorry, but we're Canadians and we love Canada!!!! Now, on with the fict. It is also written in script form.
The Demise Of The Taliban
Bush: But Diiiick, I wanna push the button *whines*
Cheney: No!
Bush:Please?!
Cheney: No George. Jenna, stop raiding your dad's booze. This is not the time for you to get plastered.
Jenna: Is so!*glug glug*
*Sailor Mercury and Sailor Saturn apppear suddenly.*
Cheney: Hey, what are you doing here?
Bush: Woo hoo! Girls in short skirts!!!
*Mercury sighs and hands Barbara Bush a mallet, which the First Lady uses to whack George Bush with*
Merucry: It's our job to save the world, Mr.Cheney. Since your advisors are obviously useless, I think the situation calls for an intervention.
Cheney: Yeah, but why you two? Why not Sailor Moon, or Mars, or one of the others?
Mercury:Well, I'm the most politically aware senshi, and Hotaru, well....
Saturn: I'm pissed!!!! That son of a bitch Bin Laden's blowing up the planet. That's MY job! I'm gonna nail his ass!
Mercury:*sweat drops* You see?
Cheney:Alright, but who sent you?
Mercury: Jean Chretien. He flet you guys needed outside advice and you never listen to him, he thought you might listen to two Japanese girls with super power, short skirts and blue and black hair.
*Bush develops a nose bleed*
Cheney: So, will you help us?
Saturn: Damn straight!
*The two senshi vanish and reappear in Taliban headquarters as Ami and Hotaru. Bin Laden and the Taliban leaders are sitting around plotting nefarious schemes. They stop at the sight of the two girls*
Hotaru: Alright Osama! I've got a bone to pick with you! Saturn Power!!!!
Ami: Mercury Power!
*The two girls transform into senshi with scenes of flashing lights and blatant nudity. Bin Laden takes one look at their too tight uniforms, super short mini skirts and *gasp* Saturn's lace up bitch boots, and drops dead from a heart attack. The other Taliban google in astonishment*
Saturn:*peers at Bin Laden and sweat drops* Well that was fast. *turns to Taliban* But I'm not done with YOU bastards yet!
*From afar we can see men wearing turbans flying through the air in different directions, floating in bubbles, others being blown up. Mercury and Satrun are kicking serious Taliban ass. In a near by Afghan refugee camp, Lita, Rei, Mina, Usagi, and Chibi-Usa are busy cooking up big meals for the refugees. A lot of the men were having a hard time with the senshi's short skirts, but some of the women were already writing out senshi uniform designs. Rei, predictably kept burning the food*
Chibi-Usa: Hey everyone, dinner's ready!!
*The Afghanis happily eat a better meal than they've had in months, and Chibi-Usa plays with the Afghani children afterwards and even shares her toys (the kids also thought her pink hair was a hoot). Usagi reacts to the food in her normal manner:she keeps trying to eat all of it. Lita smacks her*
Lita: No way Usagi!
Usagi: Awww*whines*
*She wanders off, then comes back in a burqa. Mina is not fooled by this at this, especially since Usagi's pigtails stick out at the bottom and her odangos are a dead give away. Usagi goes for the food again, and Mina wacks her with a huge mallet.*
Mina: No way!!! You greedy pig.
Usagi: But but but...
*Hotaru and Ami return with many scratched and soaking wet Taliban in tow,and as usual Ami is lecturing them*
Ami:You realize that nothing in the Koran says anything about killing non-Muslims and oppressing women, and I know that for a fact because blah blah blah blah....
Hotaru:*rolls eyes* So, did we miss lunch? I suppose we could feed these losers.
Usagi: Not with MY bag lunch. *sticks tounge out at Taliban*And the whole darn Nothern Alliance is coming to dinner too. I don't wanna feed all of them!! WAAAAHHHH!!!!
Chibi-Usa: What a cry baby.
*Everyone laughs at Usagi, even the defeated Taliban, who think her hair is hilarious.*
Narrator: So anyways, everyone lived happily ever after. Even the Taliban who realized they were wrong after all and made Afghanistan a democratic peace loving state with lots of rights for women. Usagi got her lunch after all, the senshi got medals, Ami got elected leader of the UN and Hotaru got drunk with the Bush twins and decided NOT to blow up the world after all.
THE END