Chapter 3- Old memories
I live in an apartment near school. My dad was paying my bills even though I told him not too. He said once I get out of school I can start repaying him then. It's a nice cosy place and its really roomy and I like just sitting in the living room reading a book.
Lately I wasn't getting the things I was being taught. School was driving me crazy! I didn't have time to go visit my mom, Jamie's dad, or Jamie's grave. Every night I stay up late, in my apartment drinking coffee and studying.
The next day at school Dr. Stevenson, one of my teachers, announce midterms were coming up. This was very bad news. After class everyone was about to leave, Dr. Stevenson called me up to his desk.
" Landon, I been observing you for these past few weeks and I notice you are having troubles."
" Yes, you see I'm not quite understanding the textbook. Lately I've been staying up late trying so hard to get it."
" If your not going to understand anything by the time midterm comes, I'm afraid you might fail. So I suggest you ask one of your classmates to help you. I'd prefer if you ask Rachel Chan. She seems to master this really well."
" Uh. I think I'll ask someone else. Rachel and I aren't." I just left the sentence unfinished know he was smart enough to get what I mean.
" Well then I ask someone who does understand all of this. And you better hurry, midterms are coming in 2 weeks." It was 8:00 p.m. at I was at my apartment sitting next to my small kitchen table. I read my textbook over and over again still not getting it. Then the conversation I had with Dr. Stevenson popped in my head.
'Maybe I should call Rachel', I thought. God no she'll tease me for the rest of my life. Then another thought popped into my head, ' Beats having to fail midterms and disappoint my family. Disappoint Jamie.'
The next day I went into my classroom and try to look for Rachel. There she was dressed in a long black coat with her hair down. I went up to her and saw her reading the textbook. She must have felt someone near her, because she looked up at me and said, " What do you want Carter?"
" I need you help." I said so quietly in came out as a whisper.
" What?" I can't hear you."
" I need your help," I said more loudly.
" You? You need my help? Well, I'm surprise." She said with a smirk.
" So can you help me?"
" Landon, you're going to have to do better than that! You should be on your knees kissing my feet."
" You know what forget it, I'll go ask someone else," I said as I started to move away from her desk.
" God, can't you take a joke. Fine, fine, fine I'll help you, I'll come over and tutor you tonight."
" Thank you," I said as I wrote down my address down for her. Now I wonder what price do I have to pay now?
After school I went back to my place preparing for the tutor session. It reminded me about the time I had to tutor a kid, because it was part of my punishment. 'Maybe I should give Rachel a hard time,' I thought. She said she'll be here at 6:00 and it was almost time.
Once she arrived she made a quick check of my apartment. Nice, was all she said.
So once we sat down we got sown to business. Rachel was really close to me, going over the book, that I could smell her. She'd smelled like strawberries. It started to make me feel uncomfortable having a girl in my apartment. I never had one besides my mom and some friends, and Rachel wasn't a friend. I never did date after Jamie died.
Just the thought of Jamie's death took me to a whole new place. I wasn't paying attention anymore. I was in my own place reliving my memories with her. Before I knew it tears were in my eyes.
" Landon what's wrong? Talk to me." Rachel looked at me with concern in her eyes.
" Its nothing" I mumbled wiping my eyes.
" Maybe we should take a break so you can tell me what's going on."
" No, its okay."
" Landon you were crying. You're not okay. Tell me." I didn't say anything for a while. She finally broke the silence, " Fine if you won't talk I will."
She started to talk about her life. Telling me about her family. Telling me about her. She was an only child. Her parents always fight a lot and she hated it. When she turned 18 her mom died of alcohol. Her dad abandoned them when she was 12 and never made contact. She had a rough life. She was telling about something personal and I decided she should know.
I started to tell her everything. How I was before I met Jamie. How I met her, how I felt about her. Everything. I told her where she was buried and how I hated that she died. I told her things I never told anyone before. As I talked old memories came flashing back. Before I knew it I was crying again. But I still kept talking, how Jamie changed me, how she had faith in me. . I talked about her family, our marriage, the love we had, and her death. I never talk or allowed myself to think about that. All I did before was cry at night wanting her to be there. Not how life changed without her here or how it affected everyone.
I looked at Rachel; she was so interested in my story and most of all she was concerned about me. I saw a new side to her, the kind and loving side. When I was done I was now sobbing. She hugged me and slowly rocked me. When an hour passed she looked into my eyes and wiped my face with her shirt.
"God I never talked to anyone about all these things. Not even to my family. Sorry for crying like that."
" Thanks that made me feel special and its okay. Carter if you ever need anyone to talk to I'll always be here. Not to tease but to listen."
" Yeah. "
" I should leave now it's getting late."
" Yeah." She got up and gotten her things and I walked her to the door. Before she left she hugged me tightly.
" If you ever need anything I'm here." She whispered.
Just as she walked down the hallway to the elevator I yelled after her, " Rachel! Thanks for everything!"
She turned to look at me with a sweet smile on her face, just as she stepped into the elevator, she pressed the button, and said, " Your welcome. Bye Carter."
The door closed, her face disappeared. I then went back to my apartment, closed the door, and felt warmth and relief I had not felt in a long time.
I live in an apartment near school. My dad was paying my bills even though I told him not too. He said once I get out of school I can start repaying him then. It's a nice cosy place and its really roomy and I like just sitting in the living room reading a book.
Lately I wasn't getting the things I was being taught. School was driving me crazy! I didn't have time to go visit my mom, Jamie's dad, or Jamie's grave. Every night I stay up late, in my apartment drinking coffee and studying.
The next day at school Dr. Stevenson, one of my teachers, announce midterms were coming up. This was very bad news. After class everyone was about to leave, Dr. Stevenson called me up to his desk.
" Landon, I been observing you for these past few weeks and I notice you are having troubles."
" Yes, you see I'm not quite understanding the textbook. Lately I've been staying up late trying so hard to get it."
" If your not going to understand anything by the time midterm comes, I'm afraid you might fail. So I suggest you ask one of your classmates to help you. I'd prefer if you ask Rachel Chan. She seems to master this really well."
" Uh. I think I'll ask someone else. Rachel and I aren't." I just left the sentence unfinished know he was smart enough to get what I mean.
" Well then I ask someone who does understand all of this. And you better hurry, midterms are coming in 2 weeks." It was 8:00 p.m. at I was at my apartment sitting next to my small kitchen table. I read my textbook over and over again still not getting it. Then the conversation I had with Dr. Stevenson popped in my head.
'Maybe I should call Rachel', I thought. God no she'll tease me for the rest of my life. Then another thought popped into my head, ' Beats having to fail midterms and disappoint my family. Disappoint Jamie.'
The next day I went into my classroom and try to look for Rachel. There she was dressed in a long black coat with her hair down. I went up to her and saw her reading the textbook. She must have felt someone near her, because she looked up at me and said, " What do you want Carter?"
" I need you help." I said so quietly in came out as a whisper.
" What?" I can't hear you."
" I need your help," I said more loudly.
" You? You need my help? Well, I'm surprise." She said with a smirk.
" So can you help me?"
" Landon, you're going to have to do better than that! You should be on your knees kissing my feet."
" You know what forget it, I'll go ask someone else," I said as I started to move away from her desk.
" God, can't you take a joke. Fine, fine, fine I'll help you, I'll come over and tutor you tonight."
" Thank you," I said as I wrote down my address down for her. Now I wonder what price do I have to pay now?
After school I went back to my place preparing for the tutor session. It reminded me about the time I had to tutor a kid, because it was part of my punishment. 'Maybe I should give Rachel a hard time,' I thought. She said she'll be here at 6:00 and it was almost time.
Once she arrived she made a quick check of my apartment. Nice, was all she said.
So once we sat down we got sown to business. Rachel was really close to me, going over the book, that I could smell her. She'd smelled like strawberries. It started to make me feel uncomfortable having a girl in my apartment. I never had one besides my mom and some friends, and Rachel wasn't a friend. I never did date after Jamie died.
Just the thought of Jamie's death took me to a whole new place. I wasn't paying attention anymore. I was in my own place reliving my memories with her. Before I knew it tears were in my eyes.
" Landon what's wrong? Talk to me." Rachel looked at me with concern in her eyes.
" Its nothing" I mumbled wiping my eyes.
" Maybe we should take a break so you can tell me what's going on."
" No, its okay."
" Landon you were crying. You're not okay. Tell me." I didn't say anything for a while. She finally broke the silence, " Fine if you won't talk I will."
She started to talk about her life. Telling me about her family. Telling me about her. She was an only child. Her parents always fight a lot and she hated it. When she turned 18 her mom died of alcohol. Her dad abandoned them when she was 12 and never made contact. She had a rough life. She was telling about something personal and I decided she should know.
I started to tell her everything. How I was before I met Jamie. How I met her, how I felt about her. Everything. I told her where she was buried and how I hated that she died. I told her things I never told anyone before. As I talked old memories came flashing back. Before I knew it I was crying again. But I still kept talking, how Jamie changed me, how she had faith in me. . I talked about her family, our marriage, the love we had, and her death. I never talk or allowed myself to think about that. All I did before was cry at night wanting her to be there. Not how life changed without her here or how it affected everyone.
I looked at Rachel; she was so interested in my story and most of all she was concerned about me. I saw a new side to her, the kind and loving side. When I was done I was now sobbing. She hugged me and slowly rocked me. When an hour passed she looked into my eyes and wiped my face with her shirt.
"God I never talked to anyone about all these things. Not even to my family. Sorry for crying like that."
" Thanks that made me feel special and its okay. Carter if you ever need anyone to talk to I'll always be here. Not to tease but to listen."
" Yeah. "
" I should leave now it's getting late."
" Yeah." She got up and gotten her things and I walked her to the door. Before she left she hugged me tightly.
" If you ever need anything I'm here." She whispered.
Just as she walked down the hallway to the elevator I yelled after her, " Rachel! Thanks for everything!"
She turned to look at me with a sweet smile on her face, just as she stepped into the elevator, she pressed the button, and said, " Your welcome. Bye Carter."
The door closed, her face disappeared. I then went back to my apartment, closed the door, and felt warmth and relief I had not felt in a long time.