It has indeedio been brought to my attention that Piper seems to have stopped her, erm, 'habit' of multiple swearing (cheers Stephanie!!! see now YOU get mentioned in MY stories... you poor, poor girl!) so suffice, she will be back and badder than ever!
Also, one more note type thing, just completely randomly, this is in Shakespearian. Well, just the speech, cos I think it's funny to write in!!!!
kt
OH one last thing - I have NOOOO idea how to get the acutes over the 'ed's to make an 'ed' sound (like banish-ed)... you know how it's meant to be pronounced! Anyway, so imagine the apostrophy is an acute above the 'e'. Say it together now, banish'ed!!!!
Chapatereth Sixeth
"No, geteth away, foul beast! Thou art f*ckingeth banish'ed" Piper cried as the cool, cool, cool, coolio teddy advanced.
"Thy heart is pure and young, so bittersweetly young" the Teddy said slowly, "mine breast swells with anticipation of tasting thy sweet liquid of life"
"Geteth the f*cketh away!" Piper screamed in terror, "Thou must not falleth for the mystery that surroundeth mine age, for thou couldst count seventy-four golden apples before thou countest the age of mine body." she scraped her elbow on the corner of the Book of Shadows. "Oh glory be, 'tis thy Book of Shadows! Willest thou accept mine plea of begg'ed worship? Helpest me, oh bountious Book, I plead of thee!"
But the book simply shrugged and kicked her in the teeth. Don't ask how, it just did.
"F*ck it thou f*ckingest kickest me in mine f*ckingest teethest! Thou art none but an f*ckingeth little bitcheth!" she bitch'ed.
The Teddy's eyebrows raised. "Why, thine face deceiveth me! 'Tis true mine heart believed thou werest bless'ed with not only beauty outside, but within thine tender shell. Thou own a problem, young wench"
Piper was affronted. "Why, thou art nothing but a swine! Thou art callow, hardy and evil. Thou accuse me of a problem, when thy shouldest know within your fur that 'tis not a problem, but a habit. And dost thou knowest this; not all habits are wicked - like your fur which is the more callous of any other in the land!"
"Thine cursing maketh me smile, ho" the Teddy's knitted lines that were supposedly it's mouth curled up evilly. "But thou knowest that thine art only the beginning of my reign as true master of the Charm'ed Ones. I shall drink of you, then thine sisters, then thou shalt be mine" he erupted into manic metal mania - I mean, manic laughter. Piper's eyes turned hard and her head shook slightly in in disbelief and disappointment.
"Thou art the scum on mine shoe, thou art the dysentery that none go near for fear they willst catch something from the bowels of your disease. Thou art-"
"Hush, my little Pipe-player. Thou hast much work ahead of thine. More haste, less chatter, thou fearest that I will slaughter thee?"
"Zounds! Confound you!" Piper spat. "Confound you. A plague on your house!"
"Which, technicallyest, is also thine house" the bear said cooly.
"Zounds!" Piper yelled. "Thou hast outwitted me, sir, but I have to catch up yet." she ran towards the door and pulled hard on the handle. Still it held tight.
"Thou must confront thine fears," the Teddy cooly spoke, "Is't not true that thine dost not even likest thine blood sistereth? That thine disregardeth thy younger wench Pixie-"
"The name we callst her by is not Pixie, nor wench. 'Tis Phoebe. Methinks..." Piper pondered. She couldn't actually fully remember her youngest wench- I mean, sister's name. "Besideth, 'tis not true. I lovest mine younger wench- I mean, Phoebe, with my heart dear full. 'Tis Pruedencia that I mustn't disclose my love for, for 'tis unbeautiful and unmerry."
The Teddy looked her up and down cooly. "Thine art an honest young bewitcher, arst thou not? An enchantress? Thou hast stolen'ed mine heart, young Pipe-player, and for that thou must leavest me. Begone, thou art banish'ed! Banish'ed!"
"Thou canst banish me with words, but not with thine body. THOU art who is banish'ed. THOU art to begone! Out, swine, callous pig, out!" And with that, Piper bounded over to the Teddy, picked him up and threw him almightily out the window. Panting, she sat down heftily and began to gather her breath. The attic door flew open and Prue and Phoebe rushed in.
"We came as soon as we could!" Prue gushed.
"Piper, we didn't know!" Phoebe lied. She and Prue exchanged sly looks and small grins as they thought about holding the door shut so that Piper could face off the Teddy alone. Now it was nowhere in sight.
"Banish'ed, thou art... banish'ed!" Piper uttered.
"Uh, sweetie? What are you saying?" Prue queried. What a numbskull.
Piper sharply looked up at her sisters. "Thou! And thou!" she screamed accusingly. "Thou hast not defended thine own flesh, thine own honour has been injured beyond repair, thou art simpletons to feel mine wrath, which one unmerry sun I will retribute your cruelty and cast you to the pits of your persons hell. Thou have defied me, and thou art vexed. A plague on both your houses! A plague on both your houses!" Piper collapsed, with one final muttering: "A plague... both... houses"
Prue and Phoebe stood silent, watching. A long pause went painfully by as each sister waited in quiet contemplation.
"Why the hell was she speaking Shakespearian!" Prue finally burst out.
"I don't bloody well know, do I?" Phoebe yelled back, "And the idiot doesn't even realise we live in the same house? Git!"
They left Piper on the floor. When the door closed, there was a heavy silence until a word escaped Piper's lips: "plague"
Also, one more note type thing, just completely randomly, this is in Shakespearian. Well, just the speech, cos I think it's funny to write in!!!!
kt
OH one last thing - I have NOOOO idea how to get the acutes over the 'ed's to make an 'ed' sound (like banish-ed)... you know how it's meant to be pronounced! Anyway, so imagine the apostrophy is an acute above the 'e'. Say it together now, banish'ed!!!!
Chapatereth Sixeth
"No, geteth away, foul beast! Thou art f*ckingeth banish'ed" Piper cried as the cool, cool, cool, coolio teddy advanced.
"Thy heart is pure and young, so bittersweetly young" the Teddy said slowly, "mine breast swells with anticipation of tasting thy sweet liquid of life"
"Geteth the f*cketh away!" Piper screamed in terror, "Thou must not falleth for the mystery that surroundeth mine age, for thou couldst count seventy-four golden apples before thou countest the age of mine body." she scraped her elbow on the corner of the Book of Shadows. "Oh glory be, 'tis thy Book of Shadows! Willest thou accept mine plea of begg'ed worship? Helpest me, oh bountious Book, I plead of thee!"
But the book simply shrugged and kicked her in the teeth. Don't ask how, it just did.
"F*ck it thou f*ckingest kickest me in mine f*ckingest teethest! Thou art none but an f*ckingeth little bitcheth!" she bitch'ed.
The Teddy's eyebrows raised. "Why, thine face deceiveth me! 'Tis true mine heart believed thou werest bless'ed with not only beauty outside, but within thine tender shell. Thou own a problem, young wench"
Piper was affronted. "Why, thou art nothing but a swine! Thou art callow, hardy and evil. Thou accuse me of a problem, when thy shouldest know within your fur that 'tis not a problem, but a habit. And dost thou knowest this; not all habits are wicked - like your fur which is the more callous of any other in the land!"
"Thine cursing maketh me smile, ho" the Teddy's knitted lines that were supposedly it's mouth curled up evilly. "But thou knowest that thine art only the beginning of my reign as true master of the Charm'ed Ones. I shall drink of you, then thine sisters, then thou shalt be mine" he erupted into manic metal mania - I mean, manic laughter. Piper's eyes turned hard and her head shook slightly in in disbelief and disappointment.
"Thou art the scum on mine shoe, thou art the dysentery that none go near for fear they willst catch something from the bowels of your disease. Thou art-"
"Hush, my little Pipe-player. Thou hast much work ahead of thine. More haste, less chatter, thou fearest that I will slaughter thee?"
"Zounds! Confound you!" Piper spat. "Confound you. A plague on your house!"
"Which, technicallyest, is also thine house" the bear said cooly.
"Zounds!" Piper yelled. "Thou hast outwitted me, sir, but I have to catch up yet." she ran towards the door and pulled hard on the handle. Still it held tight.
"Thou must confront thine fears," the Teddy cooly spoke, "Is't not true that thine dost not even likest thine blood sistereth? That thine disregardeth thy younger wench Pixie-"
"The name we callst her by is not Pixie, nor wench. 'Tis Phoebe. Methinks..." Piper pondered. She couldn't actually fully remember her youngest wench- I mean, sister's name. "Besideth, 'tis not true. I lovest mine younger wench- I mean, Phoebe, with my heart dear full. 'Tis Pruedencia that I mustn't disclose my love for, for 'tis unbeautiful and unmerry."
The Teddy looked her up and down cooly. "Thine art an honest young bewitcher, arst thou not? An enchantress? Thou hast stolen'ed mine heart, young Pipe-player, and for that thou must leavest me. Begone, thou art banish'ed! Banish'ed!"
"Thou canst banish me with words, but not with thine body. THOU art who is banish'ed. THOU art to begone! Out, swine, callous pig, out!" And with that, Piper bounded over to the Teddy, picked him up and threw him almightily out the window. Panting, she sat down heftily and began to gather her breath. The attic door flew open and Prue and Phoebe rushed in.
"We came as soon as we could!" Prue gushed.
"Piper, we didn't know!" Phoebe lied. She and Prue exchanged sly looks and small grins as they thought about holding the door shut so that Piper could face off the Teddy alone. Now it was nowhere in sight.
"Banish'ed, thou art... banish'ed!" Piper uttered.
"Uh, sweetie? What are you saying?" Prue queried. What a numbskull.
Piper sharply looked up at her sisters. "Thou! And thou!" she screamed accusingly. "Thou hast not defended thine own flesh, thine own honour has been injured beyond repair, thou art simpletons to feel mine wrath, which one unmerry sun I will retribute your cruelty and cast you to the pits of your persons hell. Thou have defied me, and thou art vexed. A plague on both your houses! A plague on both your houses!" Piper collapsed, with one final muttering: "A plague... both... houses"
Prue and Phoebe stood silent, watching. A long pause went painfully by as each sister waited in quiet contemplation.
"Why the hell was she speaking Shakespearian!" Prue finally burst out.
"I don't bloody well know, do I?" Phoebe yelled back, "And the idiot doesn't even realise we live in the same house? Git!"
They left Piper on the floor. When the door closed, there was a heavy silence until a word escaped Piper's lips: "plague"