Guys, we should so get a Charmed forum and chatroom here on ff.net. Wouldn't you all just love to speak to me for real? No? Oh... forget it then...
Piper was in the kitchen licking her wounds. No, I don't know how she got them, god gamn you nosey b*tch! Anyhoo, she was humming along to some tune on la radio - something like "...and I'm tired of all the nudity, so much sex and without love," Piper sniggered when she heard this line.
"La la la licking," she sang in an extremely innocent way. Then the radio clicked off. "Hey in the what now?" she spun around, confused. How did the radio turn itself off? Then her eyes fell upon the furry fiend standing beside it, smirking at her. "No... it can't be..." she tailed off.
"Oh yes," the Teddy Bear said, staring coolly at the Pipermeister. ""Pipe-player! My love! Tis been but a dream swept o'er a midsummer's morn since yonder our last encounter." He leapt down to the floor and mosied over to the terrified goddess. "I trust thou hast not mourned my absence too long?"
"I-" Piper's voice cracked. How could it be? She'd thrown the furry b*stard out of the window months before. "It can't be. I destroyed you!"
"Ha!" the Teddy... laughed. "Thou discarded me, yes. Thou destroyed me? No. The force of thine arms may be worthy of three young steeds, but lest we forget I do have mine legs. Thus I walketh and walketh til again I am here. And now..." he took Piper's hand and placed a kiss on it, "I shall bewedeth you. I am not a heart to forget my vows. I loveth you, my littlest Pipe-player. And now thou shalt join me in the sacred speech of the shadows."
"No, I, I, you can't!" Piper cried, "I won't. I will not speak that foul language! I willst not speaketh Shakespearian! Not again!"
His knitted lips curled upward cruelly. "Unless mine ears deceivith me, tis already begun!"
It dawned on Piper - he was right! She'd already lapsed into that all-too-familiar feeling of falling into the language of Shakespeare. That beautifying language. But if she begun speaking like this, something bad would happen. She didn't know how she knew this, but she just did (like how Prue knows everything - does she ever proove it?). So she went into denial. And attacked.
"No, tis not true..." she said, "Thou... thou art mistaken. Yet, thou art lying! Fiend! Swine! Callous pig! Zounds! Confound you, zounds!" she screamed, tears runnng down her cheeks which were now as pink as Phoebe's hat.
The Teddy smiled again. "I see there is not reason to quell my love for you. Thou art still the angered sorceress I loved before. Thine heart still fills with rage and thine breath breathes anger while thou'st speaketh. Though art truely the oldest and best Charm'ed one."
"I am not the oldest, b*tch!" she bitch'ed (I know I said bitch'ed before, but it's kickass), "Tis Pruedencia who bears the weight of sister oldeth."
The Teddy thought about this, confused. "Welleth," it said slowly, "tis clear thou dost not watcheth the show Charm'ed. For within its coils Pruedencia is deadeth."
Piper's eyes went very wide. About as wide as Paige's bug-eyes are normally. "What dost thou meanst?"
"Pruedencia. Is. Deadeth." The bear said simply. "In her place is placeth young Paige. Young Paige thy newest sistereth. Obviouslyeth." How come he never seemed to get tongue tied?
At that moment, the newest sistereth Paigeth randomly walked in.
"Hey Piper," she said nonchalantly, "nice bear."
"Who the f*cketh art thou?" Piper screamed, though in her heart she already knew.
Paige looked incredibly offended. "What do you mean? I'm Paige! Your sister? The one who replaced that whore Prue? Who died? Remember?" she continued talking for a while, but no one listened. Surprise surprise!
Piper was in the kitchen licking her wounds. No, I don't know how she got them, god gamn you nosey b*tch! Anyhoo, she was humming along to some tune on la radio - something like "...and I'm tired of all the nudity, so much sex and without love," Piper sniggered when she heard this line.
"La la la licking," she sang in an extremely innocent way. Then the radio clicked off. "Hey in the what now?" she spun around, confused. How did the radio turn itself off? Then her eyes fell upon the furry fiend standing beside it, smirking at her. "No... it can't be..." she tailed off.
"Oh yes," the Teddy Bear said, staring coolly at the Pipermeister. ""Pipe-player! My love! Tis been but a dream swept o'er a midsummer's morn since yonder our last encounter." He leapt down to the floor and mosied over to the terrified goddess. "I trust thou hast not mourned my absence too long?"
"I-" Piper's voice cracked. How could it be? She'd thrown the furry b*stard out of the window months before. "It can't be. I destroyed you!"
"Ha!" the Teddy... laughed. "Thou discarded me, yes. Thou destroyed me? No. The force of thine arms may be worthy of three young steeds, but lest we forget I do have mine legs. Thus I walketh and walketh til again I am here. And now..." he took Piper's hand and placed a kiss on it, "I shall bewedeth you. I am not a heart to forget my vows. I loveth you, my littlest Pipe-player. And now thou shalt join me in the sacred speech of the shadows."
"No, I, I, you can't!" Piper cried, "I won't. I will not speak that foul language! I willst not speaketh Shakespearian! Not again!"
His knitted lips curled upward cruelly. "Unless mine ears deceivith me, tis already begun!"
It dawned on Piper - he was right! She'd already lapsed into that all-too-familiar feeling of falling into the language of Shakespeare. That beautifying language. But if she begun speaking like this, something bad would happen. She didn't know how she knew this, but she just did (like how Prue knows everything - does she ever proove it?). So she went into denial. And attacked.
"No, tis not true..." she said, "Thou... thou art mistaken. Yet, thou art lying! Fiend! Swine! Callous pig! Zounds! Confound you, zounds!" she screamed, tears runnng down her cheeks which were now as pink as Phoebe's hat.
The Teddy smiled again. "I see there is not reason to quell my love for you. Thou art still the angered sorceress I loved before. Thine heart still fills with rage and thine breath breathes anger while thou'st speaketh. Though art truely the oldest and best Charm'ed one."
"I am not the oldest, b*tch!" she bitch'ed (I know I said bitch'ed before, but it's kickass), "Tis Pruedencia who bears the weight of sister oldeth."
The Teddy thought about this, confused. "Welleth," it said slowly, "tis clear thou dost not watcheth the show Charm'ed. For within its coils Pruedencia is deadeth."
Piper's eyes went very wide. About as wide as Paige's bug-eyes are normally. "What dost thou meanst?"
"Pruedencia. Is. Deadeth." The bear said simply. "In her place is placeth young Paige. Young Paige thy newest sistereth. Obviouslyeth." How come he never seemed to get tongue tied?
At that moment, the newest sistereth Paigeth randomly walked in.
"Hey Piper," she said nonchalantly, "nice bear."
"Who the f*cketh art thou?" Piper screamed, though in her heart she already knew.
Paige looked incredibly offended. "What do you mean? I'm Paige! Your sister? The one who replaced that whore Prue? Who died? Remember?" she continued talking for a while, but no one listened. Surprise surprise!