Chapter 12: The Milk Goes Too Far...
"Guys, guys oh my god oh my god!" Piper squealed, rushing into the living room and jumping on to of the nearest soft thing she could find (how did you guess it was Phoebe?).
"Ow, you goddamn ho!" Phoebe pushed her off, causing Piper to fall. She tried to stop herself falling, as you do, by grabbing the nearest thing to help keep herself upright. No, not Phoebe's breasts, Phoebe's woolly pink hat! "Argh my WPH!"
Piper and Prue had something different to say. It was just as distressed though. "Argh your HAIR!"
Instantly Phoebe's hands flew to her hair - or lack thereof. "What?" she questioned defensively, stroking her baldness protectively.
"Nothing," Prue said lightly, "nothing at all." She turned to Piper and gave her one of her patented 'I think Phoebe looks really dumb but what else is new hey have you changed your hair?' looks. Whaddya mean you don't know which look I'm talking about???
Piper shrugged. "Anyway, guys check this sh*t out!" Holding up a flyer, the CO's (Charmed Ones... man you guys really ought to learn your abbreviations, yes, even if I made them up) crowded round... well as good a crowd as three people can do... which is pretty good in thier case. Oh I forgot Paige was there... I always seem to forget her...
Anyway. Yes. They crowded round the flyer (leaflet for us Scotlum/Englum people... honestly... the things I do for you americums - I have to change my language for you! You better be so happy you'd die for me or I'll set LIN on you...).
ANYway. They crowded round the goddamn flyer, and, if we get no more interruptions, read it. But not aloud.
"Wowo!" Paige said, every bone in her body aching with supreme agony. "I can't believe it! What a prize!" she then collapsed right there on the floor. Nobody noticed and/or cared.
Phoebe sat down on the new couch that had just appeared which looked and felt suspiciously like Paige. Oh well. "I know. Its crazy. We gotta enter this competition, Piper... we gotta!"
"Hold your donkeys," Prue said, figuring Phoebe was too crap to have a horse to hold, "we have to answer some questions first." She took the flyer in her hand and pulled a pen out of her... hair. "Eep! These are pretty difficult! Where is the statue of liberty situated? Seven letters, island. Something Island, New four letters."
Everybody stared at her blankly.
"Well New four letters is easy enough, it's gotta be New Jersey!" Piper beamed. Prue grinned and scribbled it down. "And the first one... well, since it's the Statue of Liberty, I think part of that is in the name of the island... say... Statue Island?"
"Piper, you are a genius!"
Several questions later, they had almost answered all the difficult questions. They had... 'successfully' 'answered' that: the Statue of Liberty was situated on Statue Island, New Jersey; the cartoon Powerpuff Girls was based on a real life story; a baboon was a species of Prue; and a stapler is used to hit Paige on the head with.
"Okay, last question," Prue said nervously. They'd been doing so well so far. Well of course they had - they had Prue on thier team and Prue was number one. NUMBER ONE! "In which city do the Charmed Ones live?"
"Well that's easy!" Paige rolled Phoebe off her. She was conscious again, clearly. "We're the Charmed Ones, we should know!"
Piper looked down at her. "Who are you again?"
Paige grimaced and decided to ignore Piper. "We live in the FOPM!"
"The what?"
"Of course," Piper said. "The FOPM... the F*ck Off Pink Mansion!"
Cheerful, They all cheered cheerily as Prue wrote down the last answer, wrote thier names (Proo, Pyeper, Feebee and Payj) down and ran into the hallway, shoving it through their... what do americums call it... mailbox? Postbox? Letterbox? We'll never know. Unless one of you tell me for future good usage of americum words.
She came back grinning. "That's it. Done and done," she said, dusting off her hands which weren't dusty. She seemed to do that a lot. "Now who's up for some chocolate milk?"
"Milk?" Paige echoed. She was now terrified of 'the white stuff' ever since the last 'pour-milk-over-paige's-head-and-scream-get-out-of-the-milk' incident. "I think I'll pass."
Prue took her arm and shimmered her into the kitchen. "Come on Paige, it'll be fun!"
"Did you even notice you just shimmered?"
"Nobody ever notices," Prue replied, reaching into the refigerator and grabbing a carton of milk. Piper and feebee came through giggling and holding hands. Well, feebee was holding Piper's hand and Piper was desperately trying to get away... go figure.
Leo orbed in. "New power?" Then he was gone again.
Piper frowned. "That's beginning to get a little old."
"Honey it was old the second time he said it, let alone the fortieth or so time," Prue said, slapping Piper with the milk. Thank AP (Astral Prue... what did I say about you guys learning your abbreviations? For your stoopidity and insolence, there will be a test at the end of this... oh yes) it didn't burst, or Prue would've had to do some "Get out of the milk!" screaming. Not yet, my darlings, not yet.
Penance came in. "Hi guys," she said, "I'm just doing some mischief for fun."
Then she was gone again. Phoebe was the only one who'd noticed her. As usual. "I could do with some surgery," Phoebe said.
Everyone ignored her. Same old.
Prue made some chocolate milk, the cautiously handed it to everyone. "Anyone hungry?" she asked, opening the cupboard where about 300 boxes of the same type of cereal lay. "Eep! We're running low on our cereal!"
"What? How many boxes of Lucky Charmeds do we have left?" Phoebe squealed.
"Only about 300!"
Paige frowned. "Lucky Charmeds? They custom made?"
Everyone fixed her with a glare.
"Just asking," she said sheepishly and shrugged. She went to put her milk down on the table but missed, dropping it onto the floor where the glass shattered and milk went everywhere. "Oops..."
"Red alert, red alert!" Prue screamed, grabbing the other glasses of milk and throwing them to the floor for a reason known only to her, if that. Then she leaned forward and yelled as loud as she could "GET OUT OF THE MILK!"
The COs jumped into the air and hovered there. But that wasn't all.
The milk grouped together in a huge pool in the middle of the floor. Then slowly, it began to take shape. It grew taller and taller until...
"Holy sh*t... it's a milk demon!"
To be continued...
Here is your test. If you get these right, you are a true cooldoodTM.
What do these abbreviations mean?
FOPM
WPH
AP
SP
CO
APPP
OPIP
TK
If that's not all of 'em it's enough. Good luck! If you score well, you might win a... um... nothing!
"Guys, guys oh my god oh my god!" Piper squealed, rushing into the living room and jumping on to of the nearest soft thing she could find (how did you guess it was Phoebe?).
"Ow, you goddamn ho!" Phoebe pushed her off, causing Piper to fall. She tried to stop herself falling, as you do, by grabbing the nearest thing to help keep herself upright. No, not Phoebe's breasts, Phoebe's woolly pink hat! "Argh my WPH!"
Piper and Prue had something different to say. It was just as distressed though. "Argh your HAIR!"
Instantly Phoebe's hands flew to her hair - or lack thereof. "What?" she questioned defensively, stroking her baldness protectively.
"Nothing," Prue said lightly, "nothing at all." She turned to Piper and gave her one of her patented 'I think Phoebe looks really dumb but what else is new hey have you changed your hair?' looks. Whaddya mean you don't know which look I'm talking about???
Piper shrugged. "Anyway, guys check this sh*t out!" Holding up a flyer, the CO's (Charmed Ones... man you guys really ought to learn your abbreviations, yes, even if I made them up) crowded round... well as good a crowd as three people can do... which is pretty good in thier case. Oh I forgot Paige was there... I always seem to forget her...
Anyway. Yes. They crowded round the flyer (leaflet for us Scotlum/Englum people... honestly... the things I do for you americums - I have to change my language for you! You better be so happy you'd die for me or I'll set LIN on you...).
ANYway. They crowded round the goddamn flyer, and, if we get no more interruptions, read it. But not aloud.
"Wowo!" Paige said, every bone in her body aching with supreme agony. "I can't believe it! What a prize!" she then collapsed right there on the floor. Nobody noticed and/or cared.
Phoebe sat down on the new couch that had just appeared which looked and felt suspiciously like Paige. Oh well. "I know. Its crazy. We gotta enter this competition, Piper... we gotta!"
"Hold your donkeys," Prue said, figuring Phoebe was too crap to have a horse to hold, "we have to answer some questions first." She took the flyer in her hand and pulled a pen out of her... hair. "Eep! These are pretty difficult! Where is the statue of liberty situated? Seven letters, island. Something Island, New four letters."
Everybody stared at her blankly.
"Well New four letters is easy enough, it's gotta be New Jersey!" Piper beamed. Prue grinned and scribbled it down. "And the first one... well, since it's the Statue of Liberty, I think part of that is in the name of the island... say... Statue Island?"
"Piper, you are a genius!"
Several questions later, they had almost answered all the difficult questions. They had... 'successfully' 'answered' that: the Statue of Liberty was situated on Statue Island, New Jersey; the cartoon Powerpuff Girls was based on a real life story; a baboon was a species of Prue; and a stapler is used to hit Paige on the head with.
"Okay, last question," Prue said nervously. They'd been doing so well so far. Well of course they had - they had Prue on thier team and Prue was number one. NUMBER ONE! "In which city do the Charmed Ones live?"
"Well that's easy!" Paige rolled Phoebe off her. She was conscious again, clearly. "We're the Charmed Ones, we should know!"
Piper looked down at her. "Who are you again?"
Paige grimaced and decided to ignore Piper. "We live in the FOPM!"
"The what?"
"Of course," Piper said. "The FOPM... the F*ck Off Pink Mansion!"
Cheerful, They all cheered cheerily as Prue wrote down the last answer, wrote thier names (Proo, Pyeper, Feebee and Payj) down and ran into the hallway, shoving it through their... what do americums call it... mailbox? Postbox? Letterbox? We'll never know. Unless one of you tell me for future good usage of americum words.
She came back grinning. "That's it. Done and done," she said, dusting off her hands which weren't dusty. She seemed to do that a lot. "Now who's up for some chocolate milk?"
"Milk?" Paige echoed. She was now terrified of 'the white stuff' ever since the last 'pour-milk-over-paige's-head-and-scream-get-out-of-the-milk' incident. "I think I'll pass."
Prue took her arm and shimmered her into the kitchen. "Come on Paige, it'll be fun!"
"Did you even notice you just shimmered?"
"Nobody ever notices," Prue replied, reaching into the refigerator and grabbing a carton of milk. Piper and feebee came through giggling and holding hands. Well, feebee was holding Piper's hand and Piper was desperately trying to get away... go figure.
Leo orbed in. "New power?" Then he was gone again.
Piper frowned. "That's beginning to get a little old."
"Honey it was old the second time he said it, let alone the fortieth or so time," Prue said, slapping Piper with the milk. Thank AP (Astral Prue... what did I say about you guys learning your abbreviations? For your stoopidity and insolence, there will be a test at the end of this... oh yes) it didn't burst, or Prue would've had to do some "Get out of the milk!" screaming. Not yet, my darlings, not yet.
Penance came in. "Hi guys," she said, "I'm just doing some mischief for fun."
Then she was gone again. Phoebe was the only one who'd noticed her. As usual. "I could do with some surgery," Phoebe said.
Everyone ignored her. Same old.
Prue made some chocolate milk, the cautiously handed it to everyone. "Anyone hungry?" she asked, opening the cupboard where about 300 boxes of the same type of cereal lay. "Eep! We're running low on our cereal!"
"What? How many boxes of Lucky Charmeds do we have left?" Phoebe squealed.
"Only about 300!"
Paige frowned. "Lucky Charmeds? They custom made?"
Everyone fixed her with a glare.
"Just asking," she said sheepishly and shrugged. She went to put her milk down on the table but missed, dropping it onto the floor where the glass shattered and milk went everywhere. "Oops..."
"Red alert, red alert!" Prue screamed, grabbing the other glasses of milk and throwing them to the floor for a reason known only to her, if that. Then she leaned forward and yelled as loud as she could "GET OUT OF THE MILK!"
The COs jumped into the air and hovered there. But that wasn't all.
The milk grouped together in a huge pool in the middle of the floor. Then slowly, it began to take shape. It grew taller and taller until...
"Holy sh*t... it's a milk demon!"
To be continued...
Here is your test. If you get these right, you are a true cooldoodTM.
What do these abbreviations mean?
FOPM
WPH
AP
SP
CO
APPP
OPIP
TK
If that's not all of 'em it's enough. Good luck! If you score well, you might win a... um... nothing!