Chapter 13: Cole is in it! Not for long though...
"What do we do? What do we do?" Piper screamed, dancing about mid air (they were still hovering off the ground since Prue'd screamed 'get out of the milk'). The Milk Demon loomed closer, sloshing his way towards Paige.
"Argh!" Paige yelled, terrified of it's milky goodness. "Get it away! I'm white enough!" Then she changed her mind. "Ah, you can never be too white," she said resignedly as the Milk Demon absorbed her. Nobody knows how, it just did.
"Paige!" Piper cried in a tone of voice that indicated she only did it because she had to, "Where are you?" No answer.
The Milk Demon roared and splooshed over to Piper. She tried to get away, but since she was stuck floating mid air, it was kinda hard. She ended up trying to swim away, failing miserably of course, and Prue and Phoebe's laughter only subsided when Piper also was absorbed into the demon.
"Eep," Prue squealed as it turned it's calcium-toting head in her direction. "Feebee - help!"
Phoebe glanced up. "Are you serious? You want me to help you, the amazing Prudence J Halliwell?" She looked very excited at the prospect.
Looking over at her little sister, Prue noticed again that Phoebe was bald and remembered that she, Prue, was great. She could take this little demo-
Prue got absorbed too.
Phoebe grinned broadly. "Phoebe to the rescue, I guess," she announced proudly.
The Charmed Ones were doomed. Doomed I tells ya!
* * *
Cole sits back in his lazy boy.
"KT?" he asks timidly.
Yes Cole?
"Have I even been in this story yet?"
There was a pause as I think about it. He looks so forlorn, I don't know if I can tell him the truth - I don't think he has!
Um... sure you have, C!
"I have?" he sits forward, excitedly. "What did I do?"
Well, you, uh, um... you... well, you see... you... this is what you did. You... uh...
I falter, not being able to come up with a sufficient lie (odd, isn't it?).
"I haven't been in this story, have I?"
I don't think so C.
"So what was the point of this little character/author back and forth?"
Well... it's a - dare I say it - filler scene before we go back to the milk demon thang.
Cole begins to cry. But somehow, I just don't seem to care anymore.
* * *
"Here goes nothin'," Phoebe said as she crept up behind the demon. It splashed around the kitchen, wondering where she was. Quickly, Phoebe stuck the straw into his back and began to suck as hard as she could. "Thank AP I've had a lot of practise at this," she muttered.
With a mighty roar, the Milk Demon turned and the straw clattered to the floor. It glared at her milkily, and began to advance.
Phoebe tried to back away, but slipped on some excess milk and fell, landing hard on her candy ass.
"Could really do with Prue screaming 'get out of the milk' right about now," she muttered as she was absorbed into the demon's milktastic... depths.
After all the COs were absorbed, the Milk Demon glanced around him and realised he felt really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, ill. REALLY ill. Must've been all the bugs and germs that the COs contained which were battling against the vitimins and minerals contained in his milky milk skin.
Inside the demon, Prue was struggling to pull Piper's foot out of her mouth. When Phoebe joined them, there had been even less space in there, and annoyingly, Phoebe was now using the forced proximity to cop a feel. Ha - a 'feel', what am I saying? She was a walking gropefest minus the walking!
"Okay," Paige said, "this would be a really good time to scream 'get out of the milk', Prue."
"What am I?" Prue spluttered, "Your personal 'get out of the milk' screamer? Goddamn Paige, you really know how to make a person feel valued."
"Well so I should," Paige retorted angrily, "SInce it's how guys make me feel all the stoopid fat time!" She aimed a slap at Prue but hit Piper instead. "I'd say sorry," she said on hearing her sister's yelp, "but I'm not."
Piper began to convulse quite ferosciously. "Guys?" she choked. "Guys... I'm lactose... intolerant..." Coughing violently, Piper shuddered again, her lips turning a mean shade of blue.
Everybody looked blank for a long time. Piper got really pissed off.
"It means I'm allergic to milk!" she cried, and kicked everyone she could. Which was everyone. Including herself. "I'll die if I don't get out of here!"
A stony silence settled.
"Noooo," Phoebe screamed, "Not Piper! She's the best one!"
We all agreed (except Proo is the best too). Everybody stared at Prue.
Prue looked back. "Well what am I supposed to do?" She glared at Paige's face, Phoebe's side and Piper's feet - basically everything she could see - it was kinda cramped inside a big monster. Paige gazed at the milky walls pointedly, then back at Prue. Prue saw the light- um, I mean, milk. "Ohhh."
The Milk Demon splooshed his way around continually, and thought he heard people talking. Then, really faintly, he distinctly heard someone yell "Get out of the milk!" And then he felt them, fighting inside him. The were tearing at his skin! Oh, the pain!
He couldn't take it; with a scream of calciumity (nicccce word kt!) he burst, splattering milk and Charmed Ones everywhere.
In a tidal wave of milk, the COs flew all over the place, slamming into walls and landing on various sharp objects. They were covered in the white stuff, and felt considerably healthy in the strong teeth and bones department.
After they'd finally stopped being swooshed around by the milk, they came to rest on the floor and lay back, panting for breath. Paige got up and sneaked away.
"Wowo," Piper spluttered, breathing with some difficulty.
"Are you okay Piper?" Prue cried, "How's your LI?"
"My LI? Oh, Lactose Intolerance. It's great, since I don't really have it."
Phoebe and Prue roared with... well, anger - what else do you roar with? Love? and pounced on Piper, beating her way back to wherever the hell she came from.
In the hall, Paige found a letter sitting in the hallway. It was addressed to "Proo". She ripped it open and read what was inside. "Wowo!"
Running into the kitchen where the other COs were still mopping up the milk/beating up Piper, she held it up proudly. "Guys! We won that competition we entered about an hour ago!"
"The wonders of americum mail," Piper said patriotically. "Wait... we won?"
"Yeah, check this bizatch out!" Paige began to read. "The competition judges were very sypmathetic that you answered all questions wrong, but from the scrawly, badly-spelled handwriting, and the way your names appear to have been spelt," Paige struggled to read the next word, "fo-en-et-ick-ally, you appear to be kids. Really stoopid kids. So we decided to let you win the grand prize. It will be delivered shortly."
Everybody cheered and hugged. Presently, the doorbell rang, and they scampered over to answer it. When they opened the door, nobody was there, but on the doorstep was a small note: 'Enjoy your prize!'.
"There it is..." Prue said, her voice trembling and high, her eyes filling with tears of happiness. She bent down to pick it up. "A blackberry!"
Holding the tiny fruit up, Prue's tears spilled out.
"I'm so proud of us!" Piper squealed, and they all hugged. A squelching sound was heard. "Uh... what was that?"
They broke apart to find that the blackberry had been smooshed up in the hug and was now smeared all over their clothes.
"Great."
A/N: Steph is the Queen! THE QUEEN! Next to our beloved deity Proo of course.
A/N: Okay. Any of you who think I am a stupid retard are... absolutely right. This si the THIRD TIME I have made a mistake like that... THIRD TIME!
You won't know, but I had to replace this chapter to hide how dumb I was. But I'm telling you anyway, just so you all feel better about yourselves. Remember the bit about "How's your LI Piper?" "LI? Oh my Lactose Intolerance..." well, now you see how retarded I am.
I keep mucking these up...
Number One: LIN = Lumbering Idium Murdered. Not quite KT, it actually should be LIM.
Number Two: LSH = Lierre Should Live. Wrong again bitchos! LSL.
THIS TIME: LT = Lactose Intolerance. I think not you idiot KT. LI! LI!
Olly spotted that last one as I updated, which is why I had time to replace it. Thank AP. Now review me cos you feel sorry!
For those fools who didn't know.
FOPM - F*ck Off Pink Mansion
WPH - Woolly Pink Hat
AP - Astral Prue
SP - Scarecrow Proo
CO - Charmed One
APPP - if any of you didn't get this, feel oh-so-ashamed. Anti-Paige, Pro-Prue!
OPIP - the new one! Out Phoebe, In Prue!
TK - telekinesis... duh!
Write them down and learn them folks, cos you will understand me even less if you don't get these!
"What do we do? What do we do?" Piper screamed, dancing about mid air (they were still hovering off the ground since Prue'd screamed 'get out of the milk'). The Milk Demon loomed closer, sloshing his way towards Paige.
"Argh!" Paige yelled, terrified of it's milky goodness. "Get it away! I'm white enough!" Then she changed her mind. "Ah, you can never be too white," she said resignedly as the Milk Demon absorbed her. Nobody knows how, it just did.
"Paige!" Piper cried in a tone of voice that indicated she only did it because she had to, "Where are you?" No answer.
The Milk Demon roared and splooshed over to Piper. She tried to get away, but since she was stuck floating mid air, it was kinda hard. She ended up trying to swim away, failing miserably of course, and Prue and Phoebe's laughter only subsided when Piper also was absorbed into the demon.
"Eep," Prue squealed as it turned it's calcium-toting head in her direction. "Feebee - help!"
Phoebe glanced up. "Are you serious? You want me to help you, the amazing Prudence J Halliwell?" She looked very excited at the prospect.
Looking over at her little sister, Prue noticed again that Phoebe was bald and remembered that she, Prue, was great. She could take this little demo-
Prue got absorbed too.
Phoebe grinned broadly. "Phoebe to the rescue, I guess," she announced proudly.
The Charmed Ones were doomed. Doomed I tells ya!
* * *
Cole sits back in his lazy boy.
"KT?" he asks timidly.
Yes Cole?
"Have I even been in this story yet?"
There was a pause as I think about it. He looks so forlorn, I don't know if I can tell him the truth - I don't think he has!
Um... sure you have, C!
"I have?" he sits forward, excitedly. "What did I do?"
Well, you, uh, um... you... well, you see... you... this is what you did. You... uh...
I falter, not being able to come up with a sufficient lie (odd, isn't it?).
"I haven't been in this story, have I?"
I don't think so C.
"So what was the point of this little character/author back and forth?"
Well... it's a - dare I say it - filler scene before we go back to the milk demon thang.
Cole begins to cry. But somehow, I just don't seem to care anymore.
* * *
"Here goes nothin'," Phoebe said as she crept up behind the demon. It splashed around the kitchen, wondering where she was. Quickly, Phoebe stuck the straw into his back and began to suck as hard as she could. "Thank AP I've had a lot of practise at this," she muttered.
With a mighty roar, the Milk Demon turned and the straw clattered to the floor. It glared at her milkily, and began to advance.
Phoebe tried to back away, but slipped on some excess milk and fell, landing hard on her candy ass.
"Could really do with Prue screaming 'get out of the milk' right about now," she muttered as she was absorbed into the demon's milktastic... depths.
After all the COs were absorbed, the Milk Demon glanced around him and realised he felt really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, ill. REALLY ill. Must've been all the bugs and germs that the COs contained which were battling against the vitimins and minerals contained in his milky milk skin.
Inside the demon, Prue was struggling to pull Piper's foot out of her mouth. When Phoebe joined them, there had been even less space in there, and annoyingly, Phoebe was now using the forced proximity to cop a feel. Ha - a 'feel', what am I saying? She was a walking gropefest minus the walking!
"Okay," Paige said, "this would be a really good time to scream 'get out of the milk', Prue."
"What am I?" Prue spluttered, "Your personal 'get out of the milk' screamer? Goddamn Paige, you really know how to make a person feel valued."
"Well so I should," Paige retorted angrily, "SInce it's how guys make me feel all the stoopid fat time!" She aimed a slap at Prue but hit Piper instead. "I'd say sorry," she said on hearing her sister's yelp, "but I'm not."
Piper began to convulse quite ferosciously. "Guys?" she choked. "Guys... I'm lactose... intolerant..." Coughing violently, Piper shuddered again, her lips turning a mean shade of blue.
Everybody looked blank for a long time. Piper got really pissed off.
"It means I'm allergic to milk!" she cried, and kicked everyone she could. Which was everyone. Including herself. "I'll die if I don't get out of here!"
A stony silence settled.
"Noooo," Phoebe screamed, "Not Piper! She's the best one!"
We all agreed (except Proo is the best too). Everybody stared at Prue.
Prue looked back. "Well what am I supposed to do?" She glared at Paige's face, Phoebe's side and Piper's feet - basically everything she could see - it was kinda cramped inside a big monster. Paige gazed at the milky walls pointedly, then back at Prue. Prue saw the light- um, I mean, milk. "Ohhh."
The Milk Demon splooshed his way around continually, and thought he heard people talking. Then, really faintly, he distinctly heard someone yell "Get out of the milk!" And then he felt them, fighting inside him. The were tearing at his skin! Oh, the pain!
He couldn't take it; with a scream of calciumity (nicccce word kt!) he burst, splattering milk and Charmed Ones everywhere.
In a tidal wave of milk, the COs flew all over the place, slamming into walls and landing on various sharp objects. They were covered in the white stuff, and felt considerably healthy in the strong teeth and bones department.
After they'd finally stopped being swooshed around by the milk, they came to rest on the floor and lay back, panting for breath. Paige got up and sneaked away.
"Wowo," Piper spluttered, breathing with some difficulty.
"Are you okay Piper?" Prue cried, "How's your LI?"
"My LI? Oh, Lactose Intolerance. It's great, since I don't really have it."
Phoebe and Prue roared with... well, anger - what else do you roar with? Love? and pounced on Piper, beating her way back to wherever the hell she came from.
In the hall, Paige found a letter sitting in the hallway. It was addressed to "Proo". She ripped it open and read what was inside. "Wowo!"
Running into the kitchen where the other COs were still mopping up the milk/beating up Piper, she held it up proudly. "Guys! We won that competition we entered about an hour ago!"
"The wonders of americum mail," Piper said patriotically. "Wait... we won?"
"Yeah, check this bizatch out!" Paige began to read. "The competition judges were very sypmathetic that you answered all questions wrong, but from the scrawly, badly-spelled handwriting, and the way your names appear to have been spelt," Paige struggled to read the next word, "fo-en-et-ick-ally, you appear to be kids. Really stoopid kids. So we decided to let you win the grand prize. It will be delivered shortly."
Everybody cheered and hugged. Presently, the doorbell rang, and they scampered over to answer it. When they opened the door, nobody was there, but on the doorstep was a small note: 'Enjoy your prize!'.
"There it is..." Prue said, her voice trembling and high, her eyes filling with tears of happiness. She bent down to pick it up. "A blackberry!"
Holding the tiny fruit up, Prue's tears spilled out.
"I'm so proud of us!" Piper squealed, and they all hugged. A squelching sound was heard. "Uh... what was that?"
They broke apart to find that the blackberry had been smooshed up in the hug and was now smeared all over their clothes.
"Great."
A/N: Steph is the Queen! THE QUEEN! Next to our beloved deity Proo of course.
A/N: Okay. Any of you who think I am a stupid retard are... absolutely right. This si the THIRD TIME I have made a mistake like that... THIRD TIME!
You won't know, but I had to replace this chapter to hide how dumb I was. But I'm telling you anyway, just so you all feel better about yourselves. Remember the bit about "How's your LI Piper?" "LI? Oh my Lactose Intolerance..." well, now you see how retarded I am.
I keep mucking these up...
Number One: LIN = Lumbering Idium Murdered. Not quite KT, it actually should be LIM.
Number Two: LSH = Lierre Should Live. Wrong again bitchos! LSL.
THIS TIME: LT = Lactose Intolerance. I think not you idiot KT. LI! LI!
Olly spotted that last one as I updated, which is why I had time to replace it. Thank AP. Now review me cos you feel sorry!
For those fools who didn't know.
FOPM - F*ck Off Pink Mansion
WPH - Woolly Pink Hat
AP - Astral Prue
SP - Scarecrow Proo
CO - Charmed One
APPP - if any of you didn't get this, feel oh-so-ashamed. Anti-Paige, Pro-Prue!
OPIP - the new one! Out Phoebe, In Prue!
TK - telekinesis... duh!
Write them down and learn them folks, cos you will understand me even less if you don't get these!