Chapter 3: Family History
This is scary… the hanyou remarked as an afterthought and immediately felt Kagome pull away. She was hurt; somewhere inside her had been a hope that now, finally, they would be able to connect and maybe- just maybe- he'd confess he loved her too. But now that hope had been badly bruised again and Kagome was pulling back, separating her thoughts from his, before he delved too deep and saw or sensed how much she cared for him.
The dark haired girl stepped out of the hanyou's arms and hurriedly walked down a hallway, following a route that very few knew. Kagome knew of its existence because Taomaru knew of it. Kagome heard the others chasing after her, chastising Inu Yasha for what ever he did, and she felt tears leak from her eyes. She didn't know why she was crying or why she felt the urgent need to get away from them all but she did; she had to get away from them or she'd loose control and start screaming. Kagome turned again and hit a panel disguised in the wall. The panel slipped backward and a door, completely hidden unless you knew it was there, swung inward. Kagome jumped through and pushed the door back into place. She heard the others run by and knew she was safe for the time being. Kagome, where are you? The voice belonged to Inu Yasha, worried and trying to force her to tell him where she was hiding. In response, Kagome slammed a 'door' on him and on everyone else she could feel with her magic, an image of a bank vault door barring them all from her thoughts. Crying full out, she continued on her downward journey through the dark narrow hall way.
Swords clanged and people cried out in anger and pain. Those still loyal to the Dog Clan rallied around their princess as they fought for their home. They were few against hundreds but somehow, Momiji's will to live, to protect her family and friends gave them the strength to fight on. Within an hour, the expansive foyer was clear of fighting agents of the Dark Army- those that remained were dead; their bodies littering the floor.
"Princess! We have gained the foyer but our troops outside are loosing ground. I love this land as if it was my own but we cannot keep this up." The crane youkai panted beside her. He was covered in blood, most of it belonging to the enemy soldiers. His normally white feathers were matted down, making him appear thinner than usual, a more macabre version of himself. The princess too had suffered damage but her demonic healing powers were already sealing the wounds shut. Her hair was matted with sweat, tied back out of her eyes by a strip of cloth torn from her robes.
Momiji looked out at her troops and saw that, though they had fought well, they were all injured to varying degrees. It infuriated her but was not something she could dismiss. She growled long and low and issued the order to close the gates. They would see to their injuries and defend the castle foyer as long as possible. The heavy rock and oak doors were shut and the bolt slid home. While the men saw to themselves, Momiji went to the rear of the castle, through the entrance of the tunnels that led to the more protected areas of the Dog Clan palace. Down the winding corridors she went, ever deeper under the ground. At last she found the door she sought and pushed, a massive amount of effort even for the youkai. At last the stone door moved enough to let her into her personal sanctuary.
It had taken her years to carve the room from the cavern wall, to create a place where she could relax and not be stared at by her family. It was her space, her area where she could practice her magic without interruption or inquisition. Unlike the rest of her family, unlike her brother, her magic had not manifested itself as purely destructive. When she had begun lessons on how to hone her skills, her instructors had tried to teach her how to do the more traditional aspects of youkai magic. When it became obvious that her talents laid elsewhere, an effort was made to suppress her magic which, in the end, almost drove Momiji herself crazy.
Momiji could not do anything destructive without a price- her emotions had to be at a certain level before the magic would manifest itself. The shortest way to explain her magic would be to say that Momiji had an intricate relationship with nature, a bond that could be used to shape the land around her. It had been there as long as Momiji could remember, a benign buoyant force that helped her through her family's effort to 'help.' The only family member who understood Momiji's power and need for solitude was her brother, Lukin. He knew of this room and enforced its secrecy as well as Momiji's habits. The twins had both been born with the same type of power, though Lukin's took on a more destructive side without effort. He had to push to do something gentle with the power inside him; the reverse was true for his sister.
The princess took her position in the dark room, finding her place easily with her night vision. Momiji silenced her racing thoughts, pushing them aside as she drew more and more on her magic. Her power flared, flowing over her frame and providing the only illumination in the place. Blue light played over the rocky floor, making soft wave designs when it fell upon the steaming surface of the hot spring pool. The hot water felt nice against Momiji's skin as she slid into it. She walked out into the gradually deepening pool until she was waist deep in the lapping water. She took up a praying posture, head bent and hands clasped together as if in prayer. Momiji concentrated her power on one thought, the desire she felt in her heart. She wanted to protect her home, to keep it and all who lived there safe.
She thought of her father, strong and arrogant but naive as well. Her power flared, moving through the water she stood in then into the rock around her and up to the surface. She knew when the oak and stone door was broken open, knew that her soldiers were fighting and being killed under the fresh assault. Momiji thought of her mother, a cowardly woman but with a wonderful sense of humor. The doors the queen hid behind would not hold against the troops, could not hold against the youkai. Momiji felt tears slip from her eyes as, with the aid of her magic, she watched her mother change form and claw through the assault- the first brave thing the woman had ever done. Lukin's power flared and united with his sisters as he charged the Dark Army's troops in full dog form.
"Help." Momiji whispered in her chamber, asking whatever God would listen, focusing her power on that one desire. "Help us fight, help us protect the ones we love." Beneath the princess' feet the earth rumbled. On the battlefield far above, all hell broke loose.
I rubbed my temple with one hand, gritting my teeth against the throbbing in my head. My other hand was pawing at my eyes as if wiping at them would make the tears go away. When I could concentrate-ignoring my tears and the pain in my head- I sorted through my thoughts, trying desperately to find the source of my distress. The more I tried, the more the reason eluded me- I felt as if I were falling apart. It was some time before I realized I was glowing, lighting up the narrow passage I sat in with a rose tinted light. Great- now I was a lightning bug on steroids and probably the only source of light this tunnel had seen in centuries. I didn't know why I was glowing, didn't know why my power had manifested itself, but I was and it only made me want to scream.
The only thing I did know was that I couldn't completely block Sesshomaru out- I was experiencing his headache as he did and it felt like my head was splitting open. I had tried to find out what was wrong and hadn't been able to get through the barriers he had erected. I doubted he could hear me as I pleaded with him to make it stop, to get away from whatever was making him stressed out and go have a brief nap. He ignored me, or didn't hear me, and the symptoms just got worse- the headache had progressed to the point that I was unable to see straight. As bad became worse, a part of me longed for Inu Yasha's touch, longed for the painlessness that it offered, but I suffered through the headache, determined to stay away from the hanyou for a while longer. What I needed was my backpack, a glass of water and a very large bottle of aspirin.
Well, sitting here wasn't going to help matters. I stood, a hand on each wall so I could keep my balance. Another ice pick of pain drove itself through my temple and I couldn't understand how Sesshomaru could stand it. God, I couldn't take this anymore! I had to find Inu Yasha, had to take refuge in his arms even if they were cold. As odd a description as it may be, that was the feeling I got from Inu Yasha when his power and mine tried to merge. There had been a wonderful, beautiful moment where I had felt whole, like I belonged in his arms and no where else. And then a cold sensation had flowed over it when he said it was scary. Nebulous feelings had accompanied it, a reluctance to share in the moment with me, a fear that I might see what he was keeping from me. He had stopped the merge and that in itself had been a great loss. I suppose that when the moment came, the day we could bare our feelings to each other, I had always thought Inu Yasha would push it forward; would welcome me with open arms and confessed that he was madly in love with me. The moment had come, the timing right… and Inu Yasha had pushed me away and run from it. That was probably why I was crying- he rejected me and I didn't know which pain was worse; the one in my heart or the one in my head.
My right arm gave out suddenly and I stumbled against that side of the wall, falling to the floor. I tried flexing the arm and when that failed, I tried clenching my fist. I couldn't do that either- the limb felt dead; there was no sensation at all. "Damn it!" I cursed and struggled to my feet again. I wiped at my eyes, trying vainly to bring them into proper focus. I felt liquid leak from my nose and cursed that too, using my sleeve to wipe it away. I noticed how dark the mucus was and realized it wasn't mucus at all- it was blood.
"What? What the hell is this?" I asked, unbelieving of the vicious turn of events. I had never had a headache this bad, had never heard of anyone having a headache bad enough to cause a nosebleed. Was this a typical headache for a youkai as strong as Sesshomaru? If this head splitting sensation was typical, I didn't want to be around when the demon lord had one that was unusual! I kept moving down the passageway, continuously trying to flex my arm and make it work again.
I came to a stony dead end and wanted to scream. There had to be a panel, a switch of some sort to open a door in the unyielding wall. I tried to wake Taomaru, reaching out with my magic, and couldn't concentrate enough to get his attention. I think I managed to form a pathetic distress call. I pounded the wall, listening for a hollow spot even as more pain seared through my head. I couldn't hear anything and sunk to the floor in defeat. I stopped hammering the wall, realized that my knuckles were bleeding. I looked at them numbly, staring without comprehension. I wiped my bloody nose again and closed my eyes, leaning against the wall for support. I started hitting the wall- someone would hear me, surely. God, I wanted to go home.
Sesshomaru longed for his bedroom. He couldn't concentrate on the battle plans he and the other lords were discussing. The youkai ruler's expression never wavered, always looking as if he were bored with the whole thing or as if the plans did not concern him; as if a marauding army had never taken over the neighboring Southern Kingdom and wasn't about to ride down upon the Western Lands to do the same thing. They had been there for hours and the only thing the lords had accomplished was Sesshomaru getting extremely annoyed and his tension headache raging out of control. If he didn't get away from these pompous windbags soon he was going to start bleeding. Bleeding and the weakness it portrayed was not an option in front of these idiots; not now, not ever.
The headaches had become a part of Sesshomaru's life almost two years before his mother died. As a child, he had thought of them as an alarm system that had no real use and had many flaws. They mostly occurred while he was in the palace, at inopportune times during princely duties. Before the headaches had manifested, Sesshomaru had simply been board, anxiously awaiting the conclusion of the session so he could do something else. He was a child afterall- listening to territorial disputes was not fun. But after a while, the sessions got longer and more of them were crammed into the day, leaving no time for fun and games. The only haven from these boring times was when Sesshomaru spent time with his mother. Because she was the mate to the ruler of the Western Lands, she had the power to dismiss the instructors- or his father for that matter.
As the headaches came to light, sanctuary became a necessity. Lord Momaru, ruler of the Western Lands, had originally thought that his clever son was trying to get out of the important lessons- Sesshomaru was a prince after all and had to know how to manage the land he would inherit. After the prince mentioned it to his father, the lord ordered his son to wait out the meeting. Before the discussion began, Momaru had a word with the instructor, telling him to make the lesson longer and more detailed than usual. The lord sat quietly while Sesshomaru studied and learned, occasionally rubbing his temples. The lesson droned on and on and even Momaru had to admit it was boring.
Sesshomaru toughed it out because one did not disobey one's father, especially when said father was the ruler of the domain. So the young prince sat there, his headache getting worse and worse, and attempted to concentrate on the lesson at hand. He took notes as best he could, sometimes having gaps or disjointed sentences. He rubbed at his temples, the place the pain was the worst, and desperately wished for his mother. Sesshomaru's eye blurred, refusing to focus on anything, and the boy blinked as he swayed slightly. He heard his name called in a demanding manner and snapped his head up, determined to follow his father's wishes. He saw the blurry figure of his tutor come close and felt a stab of pain pierce his temples.
He felt liquid drip from his nose and absently wiped it away. The same sensation came from his ears as well and Sesshomaru became very confused. His instructor was talking to him, but the boy couldn't hear him. He closed his eyes, hoping that if they rested for a moment, just for a minute, they would work properly again. They fluttered open again after a while and he was on his back, his father holding him. Momaru was saying something, shaking his son lightly, and Sesshomaru made a massive effort to listen. He winced and rubbed his temples trying to make the pain go away but he couldn't. It was still there making his head feel like it would split open and spill its contents all over the study floor. Through the hoard of rampaging horses galloping through his head, Sesshomaru could only think of one person who could help. "Hahaue." The boy said weakly, tugging his father's kimono. Sesshomaru wanted to sleep, physically comfortable in his father's strong arms. He could feel Momaru moving down the hall, could see the hazy change of color in the ceiling as they traveled further into the palace.
Another stab of pain lanced through the boy's head and he clutched at his temples, curling into a ball as if to ward off a blow. He lay limply against his father and fought not to scream. It occurred to the prince that this close he should be able to smell his father and draw comfort from the scent. Sesshoamru couldn't smell anything, couldn't hear his father's heart beat either. He was blind and deaf, being held by something that wasn't his father. He gasped and tried to struggle out of the startled thing's arms. Sesshomaru fought, pushing and clawing to get away, constantly clutching at his head and pulling back bloody claws. The boy couldn't think- could only act as he let loose a pain filled howl, followed by whimpering, and tried to get away from the thing pinning him down. Momaru held onto the wildly striking prince watching as the frightened child's eyes changed from amber to red. The sudden rush of blood was the last straw and his son's eyes finally rolled back in his head, his body going limp and falling backward. Lady Kitori, summoned by Momaru's verbal and mental shouting, rushed around the corner in time to see her son pass out, lunging forward to catch him as he fell from his alarmed father's arms.
"Sesshou-chan! Sesshou-chan!" She cried, holding her son close and shaking him. She noted the scratches on his face, the blood coming from them and from his nose and ears. "My God, what happened?" Both parents could only stare at each other and at the unconscious child in his mother's arms.
As Sesshomaru grew older, he became more and more emotionless- an ice prince who wanted nothing to do with those around him. It was the only way to control the headaches, to suppress them if they started. As time went by and Sesshomaru mastered his powers, the prince became more prone to the attacks when he was in the palace- in the very place he was supposed to feel the most comfortable. He couldn't sit through lengthy meetings about land affairs, couldn't sit through dinners with other lords. Eventually he took to wandering, escaping his more political obligations and at the same time exploring the land that was now his. The older members of his household knew of Sesshomaru's bouts of distress and warned any new employees not to go near the prince when he was in his room- the former queen's room. Even Jaken didn't go near Sesshomaru when he was in this state and the little toad youkai followed his master everywhere. The prince had killed one servant accidentally when the unfortunate youkai had pestered Sesshomaru on his way to his room about a message from a lord. Said youkai had been found an hour later with his torso slashed open and his innards spilling all over the floor.
Sesshomaru was only too happy to adjourn the meeting with the tipsy lords before him- tipsy because they had been taking advantage of Sesshomaru's liquor cabinet. Sesshomaru had found that one way to insure the quick and timely closing of a meeting was to supply plenty of alcohol. The lesser youkai were more prone to becoming inebriated and Sesshomaru took full advantage of the weakness. With enough liquor on tap at the right occasion, even Sesshomaru could become drunk but the alcohol was metabolized so quickly it didn't affect him that badly. But this was not the occasion and Sesshomaru had not had any alcohol and wanted desperately to get the hell away from these self righteous bastards. He had traveled for so long that the demon lord was at a loss to ward off his headache; it had been years since he had had a political meeting and all his hard won training had evaporated.
The lords departed, muttering thanks and promises that they would keep revising the plans; though they had no intention of doing so. They bowed in turn to the sitting Sesshomaru, and left the room, staggering back to the guest dens they had been given. He waited until they left, summoning a servant – who watched her lord rub his temple and immediately knew that emergency rules were in effect for all who served Sesshomaru- and giving specific orders about guards, sleeping arrangements and food. He also asked about Inu Yasha's whereabouts and nearly hit the girl when she told him they had been acting strangely, also informing him that Lady Kagome had disappeared after he and the other lords had left the main hall. Kagome had not been seen for several hours and the ground had begun to shake.
Sesshomaru blinked, trying to focus on what the girl was saying. "An earthquake?" Sesshomaru pondered, knowing that the servants would follow the corresponding protocol. He dismissed her, climbing to his feet and pointedly heading down the winding central staircase to the first floor and out to the wooden door that separated the castle proper to the more secluded- and guarded- Dog clan section. Sesshomaru followed the long tunnels downward, feeling his nose begin to bleed as he made the journey. The youkai lord felt another stab of pain and was driven to his knees, silently suffering through the agony in his head. He ground his teeth and tried to focus his eyes in the darkness, failing miserably. The meeting was too long. Sesshomaru cursed and forced himself to his feet, continuing the path downward. After several minutes his right arm gave him pain, a dull ache that quickly turned to a burning sensation.
He looked at the empty sleeve blankly. It was true that in addition to his headache attacks, Sesshomaru on occasion felt a brief sensation of pain from his missing arm. It was bizarre and the youkai had first wondered if his arm was growing back. It wasn't and the pain continued to baffle him and Jaken. Unbeknownst to Sesshomaru, the pain would be termed phantom pain by doctors centuries later, a condition common in amputee patients. Even though the limb was gone, the person still felt pain from the nerves as if the limb were still attached and in distress.
Sesshomaru made it to his room, pushing the heavy doors open and closing them behind him. He leaned against it briefly, feeling some of his anxiety slip away. He sighed in relief, wincing visibly as an ice pick pierced his skull again. He blinked his now unfocused eyes and realized that his room was not empty. Liquid slipped from his nose and he heard it fall to the floor- his ears the only sense now working but in all likelihood that would not last long.
"Sesshomaru, what the hell happened to you?" Inu Yasha's surprised voice sounded from the youkai's right and he turned in that direction. Sesshomaru heard more than one person moving, and fought with his power and his instincts to keep from changing shape- if he changed, the sudden blood rush would make the prince collapse.
"If you value your lives, you will l-" Sesshomaru was grabbed from behind by unseen hands, his mouth being covered and a handful of something slipped inside. Some of it slid down his throat by reflex before he could stop it
Pennath:
Questions? Comments? Hey al you Sesshomaru fans out there ::tap tap:: I want to hear from you too. All the Inu fans are voicing their thoughts- let me know what you think? Keep an eye out for the next chapter and please feel free to email me or contact me via ICQ. (Click my name and all that info is there.) Have a good day!