Legalities: I only own Taomaru. Everything else belongs to Rumiko Takahashi.
I don't own the song either. The song is 'A Thousand Miles.' By Vanessa Carlton and can be found on her album 'Be not no one (or no body. I'm not sure because it's not out yet.). If anyone has heard the song and knows the lyrics and notices that I've removed a part, don't flame me- it's intentional. I had to shorten it because if I didn't this scene would just take way too long. It's not a proper song fic and no, it's not meant to be.
Chapter 7: And the world comes tumbling down…..
I slipped on the headphones, hitting the play button and holding the speakers against my ears. Piano notes flowed into my ears and I felt better. No, it wasn't instrumental music; this CD had been made by a friend of Sota's after he heard I was 'sick' in an effort to make me feel better. Most of it was songs in English and had taken me a while to translate, but had helped immensely in my English speaking skills. I sunk into the piano notes and distanced myself from the startled dog demons.
Making my way downtown, walking fast, faces pass and I'm home bound
Staring blankly ahead, just making my way, making my way through the crowd…
It was working, although now everyone was startled. I could hear Taomaru and Sesshomaru badgering Inu Yasha for an explanation. That was fine; they could bother him for a while.
And I need you…
And I miss you…
And now I wonder…
I began singing the song as well and gathering my power again. "If I could fall, into the sky/ do you think time would pass me by? Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles…" I opened my eyes, not realizing I had shut them to concentrate, and looked out over the battle field in surprise. I was standing between Taomaru and Inu Yasha, watching the two tear stuff up. I frowned; this wasn't helpful- all they were doing were making a mess. "Man, you guys suck." I told them and they jumped, looking at me in surprise.
If I could just see you…
Tonight.
First things first; I raised my glowing hand, noticed the color wasn't the pure pink that if had been earlier, and pushed my power forward. A barrier formed about two hundred yards in front of us, outside the castle walls and continued around the entire castle. The youkai reinforcements were moving too fast to stop and hit the barrier, surprised that they could pass through. They paused and the ground beneath them rumbled. "Let's go you lot!" I yelled and faces turned in my direction. "If you stay there you're going to meet the same fate as the ones chasing you!"
It's always times like these when I think of you and I wonder if you think of me…
Cause everything's so wrong, and I don't belong living in you precious memory…
Inu Yasha stared at me and then glared at Taomaru and even through the song I could feel them arguing over something- something to do with my memory and something not working. I kept and ear on them for the hell of it and watched the dark Army slam into my barrier and get squashed.
It was the first time a lot of our troops had ever seen any of the Dark Army's soldiers- some of the older youkai still remembered them vaguely. The soldiers were dark- dark skin, black armor, dark hair, etc. - and that very darkness hid most of their bodies from view except for their arms and legs and body shape. Spindly legs supported a heavy muscled body with oversized and elongated forearms- by the laws of physics the things shouldn't be able to move. They were well organized and after the initial slamming they began fanning out around my shield and pressing on different spots. I think they were trying to overstress it and make it collapse. I sighed in boredom- we didn't have time for this.
I rolled my neck, rubbing my neck with both hands- it didn't matter trying to keep clean anymore; I planned on a long bath after this. Inu Yasha looked at me, feeling my irritation despite my blocking.
'Cause I'll need you…
"What are you going to do?" He asked worriedly and I rolled my head to look at him. He seemed frightened- I'd have to ask him why later. Taomaru was also radiating wariness.
And I'll miss you…
And now I wonder…
"You two are so going to tell me what's got you so riled after my bath." I sighed and stood normally again- the soldiers were now trying to climb up the barrier in the area they had fanned out over. There were too few of them to surround the shield completely so they were concentrating in one area to create a hole. It was a brilliant plan and normally I would have been concerned but, strangely, I wasn't concerned. It was as if there was a blanket between me and reality, or that I was just over confident. Looking at the enemy now, I found it hard to believe that they could send so many people running for cover. Let's see how intelligent they were… I wasn't tiring and could stand there all day.
"You are on Dog Clan land." I shouted and they ignored me. "You have 10 seconds to retreat or you will be destroyed." The three dog demons in my head started. They were surprised I was giving such an order. Mentally I shrugged- this was war after all and these guys had caused untold death and destruction. Again, I could feel Taomaru and Inu Yasha arguing about something to do with last night and earlier this morning. I began the countdown. "Ten."
The youkai that had been trying to make it here were being helped through the gates and into the castle. Good. "Nine."
If I could fall, into the sky…
Do you think time, would pass me by?
"Eight." The Dark Army soldiers continued on as if nothing were wrong. These guys were so dead. "Seven."
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you…
"Six." I debated just saying to hell with it and nailing them right there, but I decided to stick to my word. I had said ten seconds and I would wait ten seconds. In the mean time… I sent some of my power into the ground below them to investigate. "Five."
Tonight.
And I… I… Don't wanna let this go…
"Four." I felt dread bubble through Taomaru and Inu Yasha, but neither tried to stop me.
And I…I… Drown in you memory…
"Three." Most of the soldiers continued to ignore me, but some of them were now looking my direction and looking at the ground. I stood there doing a Sesshomaru impression- I didn't care if they ran or stayed. "Two."
And I don't wanna let this go... I… I... Don't…
"You are an enemy of the Dog Clan and shall be shown no mercy!" I stopped blocking Sesshomaru enough so he could look out on his land and see the enemy everyone was afraid of. "One." I said and the Dark Army's soldiers held stock still, waiting for a blow. For several seconds, nothing happened and they laughed and leered at me. I smiled cruelly in return and felt Sesshomaru smile as well as he sensed what I had planned. "No mercy." I whispered to myself.
Making my way downtown, walking fast, faces pass and I'm homebound.
Staring blankly ahead, just making my way, making my way, through the crowd…
And I still need you…
And I still miss you…
And now I wonder…
A part of me pulled on Sesshomaru's and Taomaru's blood lust, calling it to me and wrapping it around myself. It was the ultimate high and pleasure raced through my system as I casually held out my hand, still glowing but now the light was more green and amber. Inu Yasha tried to grab me, shouting my name and hoping to stop me, fear plain on his face. His hand went right through me however and he could only stare in shock.
If I could fall, into the sky…
Do you think time would pass me by?
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles if I could just see you…
I snapped my fingers, hearing all four of us gasp as Inu Yasha's power was pulled in as well. The e hanyou was with me as I lashed out with my magic.
If I could fall, into the sky…
Do you think time, would pass us by?
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you…
The ground beneath the soldiers exploded upward, cracking and fragmenting as if a giant hand had slammed it. The ground shook and bucked and the soldiers screamed in fear and pain as rocky chunks hit them. But I wasn't done- no, not by a long shot. The ground cracked further and a fiery torrent of lava erupted, flowing over the soldiers. Inu Yasha turned to me, jaw hanging open in horror.
If I could just hold you…
Tonight.
Images, memories flashed between the two of us and I latched onto the chunk I was missing. I wanted some answers and I was going to get them. I pulled them to the surface as he tried to bury them and felt something crack in my head. Pain lanced through my body, but I ignored it as I had ignored Sesshomaru's headache in the beginning. I felt my memory of the missing night return, now unblocked and unaltered. I flashed through the lugging of Inu Yasha and the dogs through the well, what had happened with Sesshomaru and what happened at Keade's hut when an enraged Inu Yasha attacked me. I felt the impact and pain distantly, heard the crunch from it again. I flashed through Inu Yasha's memories and then Taomaru's and Sesshomaru's when I turned my attention to them. Now I had the whole story- the only one of us I think- and my brain stalled.
In the silence that followed, Sango with Kirrara on her shoulder and Miroku beside her joined us, Shippo and Rin in tow. I heard barking and two familiar white shapes raced through the gates and came speeding toward us. I continued to stare at nothing, trying to figure out how I would respond. I should be angry, and I was, but it was like a banked fire, not ready to be used yet. I felt betrayed and used by everyone, but even those couldn't be summoned enough to make me respond. I felt numb and, strangely, that was okay. I could deal with numbness- it was a good place to be for now. I realized that there had been talking around me and the monk and exterminator were both looking at me strangely, Shippo radiating fear and Rin just curiosity. Socrates and Duchess whined and crawled on all fours toward me.
"Say something Kagome!" Inu Yasha pleaded, looking desperate. Taomaru stood silent, looking forlorn, but not apologetic. Even Sesshomaru was staying quiet and unobtrusive.
I said the first thing that popped into my head, looking down at the ground. I felt wetness on my cheek and brushed it away absently. I still felt the tear sliding down and looked at my hand. No wonder everyone was starring at me- I was transparent. I looked down the length of my body and saw that all of me was the same way. Well, one mystery solved. "I have to go see Sesshomaru." I said hollowly and everyone was startled, none more so than Sesshomaru himself.
"What? Why?" Inu Yasha demanded, getting angry. "Why the hell do you want to see Sesshomaru?" And I knew the hanyou felt hurt, but also alarmed with my lack of response other than to say I wanted to see his brother.
I waved a hand in Taomaru's direction absently and felt more tears slid down my cheeks. I brushed them away too and realized there was no liquid on my hand. I guess holograms, magical projections- whatever the hell I was- couldn't cry but maybe their bodies could. Great so now I was here and sitting next to Sesshomaru, and, to top it all off, I was crying. "Tao fed Fluffy too much aspirin. I have to stay close to make sure we don't end up with one dead dog demon." I said, my voice empty. Sesshomaru growled in my head at the fluffy comment. I heard Rin begin to cry and didn't care. I wanted to leave now, to back to the dark room even if Sesshomaru was pissed at me. I'd take my chances with him instead of standing here and dealing with Inu Yasha.
I closed my eyes and wished desperately to go to sleep and wake up in my time- somewhere far from these people I had considered friends. There was only one person I couldn't be angry with and he was perhaps the most dangerous. I had never trusted Sesshomaru so I couldn't feel betrayed. I couldn't be angry with him because Sesshomaru was simply Sesshomaru. I mean, I had no illusions of what someone with a name that literally meant 'the destroyer of the circle of life.' I could feel used; however, but even I wasn't surprised that Sesshomaru had used me- he was Sesshomaru. He used every body. So my safe haven from the others was the Great Demon of the Western Lands. The irony did not escape me as I returned to his den.
I blinked and let myself topple over, surprising Sesshomaru and whoever else had joined him on the bed. I didn't bother to get up- I figured I had a grace period after having my world turned upside down and inside out. I could hear my CD player still playing- a love song I think- but didn't pay it any attention. I still felt numb, still felt tears fall, and didn't move. I felt the new person move and watched them move into my line of sight. Jaken stood a few feet before me, holding his staff in one hand and my camcorder in the other. The little red light was on and I realized he was recording me. "What are you doing with that?" I asked stupidly. "And where have you been all this time?" That was something I wanted answered- usually Jaken was inseparable from Sesshomaru but he had been missing for the past day or so. I hadn't seen him since when I met the other lords earlier.
"I have been proving you a fraud with your own magic!" He cried triumphantly and my ears hurt. The red light stayed on and I understood what he meant by magic- all the stuff I had brought with me from the future. I sighed and ignored him. "Whatever, toad." I rolled onto my back, pulling myself up into a sitting position. I saw Sesshomaru and looked at him emptily. He and I were mirroring each other, facing the other as we both sat in the same position. I looked him over critically, really scrutinizing him this time.
"What are you looking at?" He humped and it was an odd question. Not because of what he was asking but the way he asked it. It was a more modern version of speech-even the syllable stress'- and I wondered if he was picking up colloquialisms from me as I was adopting his empty expression. I tossed him a nearby spare chocolate bar.
"Eat that." I said, and began gathering up my stuff again. I needed a bath and, though Sesshomaru had his not far away, I did not want to be near anyone right now. I grabbed the camcorder from Jaken and turned it off while he squawked in surprise. I shoved everything back into my back pack, grabbing the flashlight and shining it over the bed and the two demons. Sesshomaru had not picked up the chocolate bar and that was okay. When I'd been looking him over I'd been trying to guess his weight. I was estimating that the pale youkai was 190-200 lbs. in weight. Dogs could take more aspirin than humans and the calculation for it was something like, 1 pill per every 30-32 lbs of weight. I knew that I had made Sesshomaru vomit most of them up and he seemed fine now so I supposed he was fine. Now that the danger was over, I didn't feel guilty as I slid off the bed and continued to pick my stuff up.
"Kagome, why were you so concerned with my health? I am a youkai- we do not die easily." Sesshomaru said in a silky yet curious voice. He had spoken aloud, picking up my need for mental silence accurately. I could sense Inu Yasha inside the castle, heading down as fast as he could to Sesshomaru's room. Time to go!
"Promised Rin." I muttered and stood, heading out the door. I ran into a servant and grabbed hold of her as she started to bow. "Don't bow! Where is a room with a bath?" She indicated down the hall and I propelled her in that direction, motioning for her to show me. I slipped inside the more human sized room just as Inu Yasha came barreling down the hall. I took hold of the girl and looked her full in the face until she whimpered from whatever she saw there. "I am not to be disturbed. Period. Do not tell anyone I am here and have someone get a bucket of water and a mop. Sesshomaru's room needs to be cleaned, the floor scrubbed and the bed changed. He is not to be pestered either." She nodded rapidly and scurried out the door, shutting it behind her. I sighed, feeling my shoulders sag. Now that I was by myself I had nothing to distract me from my pain and it lapped at me from every corner of my mind. I went brought my bag with me into the bathroom, laying out clothes and my bathing supplies.
I stripped, tossing the dirty clothing in a careless pile and sank into the hot spring gratefully. I began scrubbing, paying no attention to my movements. My thoughts chased each other, round and round like a dog demon chasing its tail. Even that thought couldn't make me laugh- in fact it started my tears. The salty liquid dropped into the water and I didn't bother to stop them. I had been used, manipulated and exploited. Though each Dog Clan youkai had had a different and, in two cases, a very good reason… in the end I was just a weapon or a tool to be used at someone's whim.
Sesshomaru had used me to protect his kingdom and people. It was underhanded, but I could understand it- it was Sesshomaru after all. Taomaru had used me for the same purpose, but to also protect his nephews now that he was awake and could do something about the danger they were in. Again, I could understand it, but his betrayal of my trust had hurt when Sesshomaru's had only made me angry; family first and all that, but to wipe my memory to make me a better weapon... that had hurt. The final twist of the dagger was from my traveling companions: Sango, Miroku, Shippo and last but not least Inu Yasha. I was just a shard detector after all. Those four had turned on me in the drop of a hat; Inu Yasha's sense of betrayal so much that attacking me had been the only avenue for his anger. He had felt I betrayed him, betrayed his trust- this coming from the one who turned to a pudding of indecision when ever Kikyo popped up.
He had betrayed me- multiple times- and every time I had pushed my anger aside and stayed by him. Every god damn fucking time I had come back to him with a smile and every time he had stabbed me in the back with Kikyo, the other me. I sometimes wanted to scream and yell at him but I had never wanted to attack him, then again, that could have changed if he came home and told me he'd knocked some girl up. My gentle scent inspiring him was all bull shit and I'd been stupid enough to swallow it. I felt like a fool and wanted to go home but that brought up another problem. Inu Yasha and I still had to find all the Shikon shards, had to put the Jewel of Four Souls back together, before we were free of each other. It was a daunting task to say the least, more so with this recent hurdle. I didn't know what I was going to do about that; I didn't want to see any of them let alone travel for weeks on end with them over hill and dale.
I sensed and then heard Inu Yasha run down the hall and shove the door aside. He yelled my name, but already knew where I was so it was pointless. I felt my muscles tighten in my back and before he could come into the bathroom I screamed the magic word. "SIT!" I heard him slam into the floor. What thoughts I couldn't block out were disjointed, revolving around making me understand that he was sorry and he loved me. I brushed my tears away, annoyed and sat him again when he rose. I felt my magic flare and directed it on one thought: to make Inu Yasha get away from me. I knew Inu Yasha felt it by his mental alarm. Get out, I though to him. Get out and stay the fuck away from me or I will kill you where you stand. I meant it and he knew I meant it. He stood up anyway and took a step toward the bathroom, immediately hitting a blast of magic that hurled him out the door and into the hallway. The force was so much that it slammed the door behind him and, with a thought, I locked it. I sank into the warm water, feeling cold inside, crying and sometimes screaming my anger and sadness, not caring who heard me. For this moment, I wanted some time to myself and I would spend it any freaking way I wanted. I cried, huddled in the hot water, and wallowed in self pity.
Inu Yasha climbed to his feet, ready to bust the door open and be thrown out a hundred times if necessary. He needed to talk to Kagome, had to apologize and tell her he loved her, that he had chosen her. One look at the door negated that however; the thing glowed, lighting up the hallway, and crackled with energy. As he approached it again, a stream of that energy leapt away and shocked him painfully, making his hair stand on end. This was childish of her and the hanyou was getting angry. He unsheathed Tetsusaiga, ready to destroy the door with its mighty blade.
He was stopped by the arrival of Sango, Shippo and Miroku- that and the blade refused to transform into a mighty blade, staying in its rusty twig form. "What the hell?" Inu Yasha snarled, looking at the sword, shaking it as if that would make it change.
"She won't see you?" Sango asked, eyeing the door.
"I don't lady Kagome will see anyone." Miroku remarked, staying away from the door after looking at Inu Yasha's spiky hair.
"She's really angry." Shippo said, afraid. "Do you think she'll ever talk to us again?"
"That is doubtful." Said a calm voice from behind and the three looked in that direction to see Sesshomaru coming down the hallway. The youkai had just finished his bath and had followed the noise after startling the servants cleaning his room. The youkai had been surprised too; he hadn't called them but was pleased they were doing their job. He rubbed a towel against his damp hair, looking freshly scrubbed and clean. Armor-less, he was in a new kimono, less decorative and made of softer cloth. The pale youkai looked oddly relaxed and friendly, something that set the others on edge. "She is angry and disgusted with all of you and Taomaru. The only one she seems not to be angry with is me."
"Shove it Sesshomaru!" Inu Yasha growled as he looked at the door, wondering how to break through it. The hanyou kept an ear on his brother just in case. "Sango, do you think you're boomerang will break through this door?"
Sango frowned. "Inu Yasha it would probably be best if you let Kagome be alone for a while and let her come out on her own."
Beside her Miroku nodded. "It would be the wisest course of action."
Shippo looked at Sesshomaru. "Why do you think Kagome isn't angry with you?"
Sesshomaru started towel drying his tail. He glanced at the kitsune in surprise, the emotion plain as day. "I should think that would be obvious: she doesn't trust me." At the blank look her received, the dog demon sighed. "Kagome trusted all of you and you betrayed that trust, disowning her when you thought she had been unfaithful to Inu Yasha even though she ahs every right to do so. Kagome didn't trust me and still doesn't, though she now trusts me more than she did."
"Kagome trusts you now?" Inu Yasha said doubtfully, looking at his brother as if the latter had lost his mind; Kagome trusting Sesshomaru more than himself- surely not.
"More than she trusts you now." Sesshomaru stated seriously. "In truth, I doubt she will trust anyone again for a long time. She wants to go home," The youkai frowned with confusion at the images he got from the girl. "And she knows she can't because she said she would help me. And she still has to collect al the Shikon shards."
The hanyou had forgotten about the jewel in all the excitement and preparation over the war. Everyone had, for that matter and they were relieved in a small way- they still had to travel together so they'd get a chance to gain Kagome's trust again.
"It's not going to be that easy." Sesshomaru warned, pausing in his motions. In all honesty, the youkai was disgusted with the new hope stirring in the idiots around him. They thought they could gain her trust again and the youkai knew otherwise, being directly linked to Kagome. The girl was still keeping her emotions in check and listening to music to block himself, Inu Yasha and Taomaru from her mind. The music drowned out formed thoughts but couldn't completely prevent snippets of feeling from escaping. Sesshomaru didn't know if Inu Yasha was ignoring or simply not picking up on the informative emotions from Kagome- the hanyou was being to stupid and dismissive. Disgusted, Sesshomaru moved toward the door. "Go feed yourselves or something." He said dismissively, and put a hand on the glowing door. It continued to glow but swung inward, unlocking itself and admitting Sesshomaru inside while the others stared. When they tried to follow after him the barrier reactivated and barred their way. Inu Yasha could only watch as the door began to shut, catching a glimpse of Kagome sitting on a bed, pouring over books and making notes while she listened to her CD player. The hanyou threw himself against the barrier and was promptly chucked into the opposite wall, the door shutting firmly in front of him.
Pennath:
Yah, yah. I know the song is a bit out of place but give me a chance to explain. When I wrote this scene I had just heard the song and it gave me the impression of someone being separated from another or someone going away. That and the merry tune of the song contrasted sharply to what was happening to Kagome. For obvious reasons, there will be problems later for between Inu and Kagome.
I will continue to post on Monday but if anyone sends me email, etc, I will warn you now that I probably won't answer for a few days. ::points to a pile of books at her feet::: And here's why: I have a test in every class next week and that means that I will be studying all of this week. I'll hop on and off as usual to check reviews and such so please, Please!, review and give me some encouragement!! ::looks at the books, looks at the reader::: God, please review. I need all the help I can get. ::hangs head:: please do write me though. I promise I'll reply when I can.