Title: Jealous Thoughts
Author: Cat
Rating: PG
Status: Finished
Summary: Someone's thoughts on a marriage
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from the Xena Warrior Princess show or Hercules the Legendary Adventures. I do however own the story line.
Timeline: This is in Season Six after "You Are There". Things did not end quite they way the show did.
Comments can be sent to Cutekitty74@yahoo.com
I watched from the back of the room as the love of my life was joined to another. My heart ached in pain and jealousy. What did I do wrong? I handled her all wrong that's what I did wrong. My chance was offered and I passed because of my own fears. I raise my eyes again to gaze at her. Her long dark hair falls over her shoulders and down to her waist. The dress of white silk clung to her body. I couldn't see from where I stood, but I was sure her crystal blue eyes were shining in happiness. I hate the man who was exchanging vows of love with her right now. Damn him, he almost destroyed her and yet she ran back to him without looking back.
My best friend stands beside me smiling at the proceedings "Hey they look great together" he whispered. All I could do was nod.
The ceremony is almost done and my opportunity was gone. The priest turned and presented the couple to their friends and family. The look on her face, Gods why couldn't I have made her look like that. She was smiling so bright it shone through her whole person. Her eyes were wet with tears of joy. I watch has she turns and kisses him. I hate him through and though. He is a monster, a killer and yet she loves him with her whole soul. Can anyone see the pain racing through my body? I doubt it. I can't take it anymore and turn to leave.
I am through the front gate and half way to my horse. I don't look back, I can't or my tears of anguish will be seen. I am on my mount and riding like hell to get away from that place. She is gone forever to me. She belongs to him now. I slow the steed as I near the crest of the hill. I dismount and walk to the place under a tree and fall to my knees.
I drop my head and feel the shame of my thoughts. I shouldn't feel this way. I should be happy for her. She who has suffered just as much as me, deserves to have love. I just thought, well actually hoped that someday it would be me that helped her learn to love and share it with her. But no, I had to wait and now I have waited to long. The vision of her is burned in my mind as I walk away and mount my horse again. I have to go back, if I don't he will think he has won some game again. No I can't let anyone know the feelings I have, but so help me if he ever hurts her I will kill him.
I ride back into the village and see the celebration is in full force. I leave my steed and head to where the ale is being served. I will need some to still my nerves. I see my friend again. He has aged so much over the last few years, yet I have not, he never says anything about that. I walk up to him and join him in a mug of ale. "Where did you go?" he asks. "I had to get some air." I answer. He knows. I know he knows, but he will drop the subject until later. We drink through the night and I feel little effects of the ale. Usually I don't have this problem, but tonight I have drank more than ten men could on a good night.
"Oh shit" I think "Here he comes to gloat over his trophy." He walks up to me and offers his hand in a gesture of friendship. I am shocked and just stand there. Then he speaks "Hercules, please, I want to stop this war between us. It is pointless and unnecessary. I want to apologize for all the shit I have done to you through out the years and to assure you I will never hurt her in anyway."
I stare at his outstretched hand and then look to his eyes. For the first time I see no deceit coming from them. Huh, War not lying, that has to be impossible. But then he sounds sincere. I don't know what to say to him. I want to tell him how much I despise him, but I can't. I choose my words "Ares, I don't know what to say to you." I wave my hand to stop him from speaking so I can finish "I will say this, I will hunt you down and kill you if you ever hurt her and you will have to prove that you love her to the ends of the earth everyday. You don't deserve her" I finish.
He clears his throat "Your right I don't deserve her and I know why you are upset. You love her too." now he stops me from speaking "I promise you that I will not hurt her in anyway and that if I did I would deserve your wrath." I am shocked by his words and even worse for the fact that I believe him. I look at his outstretched hand and make the hardest decision of my life, I embrace it. For the first time in my life I am not fighting with him. Maybe this will be not such a bad thing after all. He joins me in another drink.
For the first time we talk like friends and brothers instead of enemies. I watch them through the night and see it is love shining from both sets of eyes. He is capable of love, who knew?
I congratulate them again before I leave for the night. As I embrace her I whisper "Xena, if you ever need anything, please ask it of me. I will do what ever you need done."
I kiss her on the cheek and she speaks "Hercules, you are now and always be special in my heart. You are now my family and I am so happy you came and joined us for our wedding." She smiles so sweetly and innocently as she finishes.
As I look at her I realize this is the first time I have ever seen her at ease. She looks as though she has finally found security, safety and happiness and I am happy for her. I wave good bye and leave.
I will watch over her from afar and make sure he keeps his promise. Her image is still burned in my mind, and for this I am grateful. It was the image of her with that beautiful peaceful smile upon her face. I will carry that image with me for the rest of my life.
Years later I am joining them in welcoming their son into the world. He is a beautiful boy who bares his mother's eyes.
The over years I have come to grip with their relationship. I have actually have come to like my brother. We have become friends over the last few years. He looks very pleased with himself and Xena as he looks down at his son. I know what he his thinking "another generation on Olympus was welcomed."
After Ares and Xena wed he took control of Olympus and she was his queen, just as Ares had always dreamed. Now she has given him a child and the family was complete.
I stand back from the crowd, not wanting to be really noticed, when I see Ares coming toward me. "Hercules" he shakes my hand "I am so glad to see you."
He looks so happy, and again I find jealousy sneaking in on me. I shake the feeling away. "It's good to see you Ares" and I add "that is a fine son you have."
"Yes he is" says Ares. His gaze leaves me and goes to Xena. She looks so beautiful holding their son. Her eyes still show the love they did on their wedding day. She is happy.
I take my leave once again and go back to the mortal plane. I go to my home and reflect on the day. A new God on Olympus, well that wasn't so bad. Olympus had flourished under Ares reign, which surprised me. He took the job of King of the Gods more seriously than our father had and of course he had remained true to his word about taking care of Xena. She was happy and I was glad she had finally found what she had searched for all her life. I lay my head back and fall to sleep with the image of her still burning in my dreams of her wedding day, only in my dreams it was me that made her shine like that. I can not have her in life, but I hold her in my dreams, and that I keep to myself for now and forever.
The End