I admit it. It was juvenile and embarrassing what we had to do to escape.
Well, escape as in getting Max and Zack out of there. Here we were, three
of the most sophisticated weapons that were ever created, with training
that only CIA and special black ops units ever gets and we hotwire a small
pickup truck to get them to the rendezvous point. The last time I had done
that was when I was fourteen and that was only on a bet that I couldn't
steal a car faster than this guy who claimed to be the best. He did manage
to get in the car faster, but I had it started first. I would have left
it, but the owner came out and started freaking out, so I had to take off,
and you know how it goes.
Still, it was still a rather silly feeling to be this old and stealing cars. But it did get the job done. They had to meet Logan and a car was the best way to get there. And I could return the car on my way back. Unless the cops decided to be cops for once and I ended up in another pursuit. If I had to ditch in the bayou again and go for a late-night swim I was going to be one pissed bitch.
Max was silent for a few minutes when we took off. And then she had the nerve to ask, "You really set me up didn't you?" The hurt in her voice was disgusting. "Why, Terran? You know what happened! Why?"
"My God Max," I sneered, "Are you really that innocent or just plain stupid? Look at everything you've done. You deserved everything you were going to get you little bitch."
"Breaking up me and Logan wasn't going to get Ben back," she snapped. "Don't you think it killed me in the woods?" Her voice rose to a shout. "BUT YOU COULD HAVE STOPPED HIM LONG AGO, YOU BITCH! I DIDN'T EVER HAVE TO GET PUT IN THAT SITUATION! YOU COULD HAVE SHUT THAT BITCH DOWN LONG AGO!"
"Oh, that's right," I hissed. "Let's blame the world. God knows it's never precious Max's fault. Everyone else did it to her. She's not responsible for murder. Oh no, not her. She's too sweet and wonderful to hurt someone on purpose. May I remind you baby sister that I've seen you enjoy the taste of human blood before."
"Stop it, both of you," Zack ordered harshly, driving through the streets rapidly. "It doesn't matter anymore." If he had kept his fucking mouth shut, then I would have been able to as well. But he didn't and maybe it was ordained to be that way.
"Of course it doesn't matter to you that I didn't get what I wanted," I said bitterly. "You still have a shot at getting in her pants later on, just like you've been wanting all this time." I saw the alarm on his face but it didn't stop me. Only made me enjoy what I was saying and doing all the more. I addressed Max again, whose face was a study of horror at the thought of Zack wanting her in more than a brotherly way. "Why else was he helping me all this time? Don't worry though. Once Logan eventually drops you for a girl that he can really settle down with, Zack'll still be there, pitifully hanging on as ever. And he's pretty good in bed, so no great loss, right?"
I was lucky that Max was sitting between us. If not, Zack would have put me out the window. That or just choked the life out of me right then and there. I really didn't give a damn. He had promised me that Logan was no longer a factor. He was supposed to take care of that and he hadn't. If he had kept his end of the deal, he would be leaving with Max to some new city as the sun rose. But no. H hadn't been able to complete the mission. If there was one thing that should have stuck from Manticore, it was that there was always a consequence for not finishing a mission.
"Zack." she gasped.
"You needed to be protected from what you were doing," Zack said quickly. "You were getting too careless, Max. It had to get shut down before.before." And it finally hit him. "What were you going to do tonight?" he asked carefully.
Max looked at me harshly. "I don't know anymore," she said. "What was I going to do?"
I thought about not telling her. I thought about letting it go. But since she had caused me all of this grief, the least I could get from her would be the look of pain and shock and betrayal. That was something I would be able to relish for years to come. "You wouldn't have remembered much of it," I finally said with a smile. "But after you realized what you had done, how many men and maybe even a few women had you last night, you would do anything to get out of New Orleans to escape what you had become. Even if it meant leaving with Zack and never going back to Seattle."
She was shaking her head. "No way. I don't give a rat's ass what you would have said.never that. Ever."
I let out an amused little laugh as we pulled up close to the rendezvous site. "Yes Max, you would have. Had Logan been a few seconds later and you had your drink, you would have." And then I moved faster than I ever had in my life to get out of the truck, Max coming after my ass, wanting blood this time.
I was rather impressed with the variety of curses and vulgarities she managed to get out. We sparred for a few seconds until Zack broke in and shoved us apart, knocking us both to the ground easily. "Stand down!" he growled. His eyes raked me, knowing now that he had been just a pawn in all of this. "You're cut off, traitor," he said. "You're never going to see any of us again."
I snorted. "Oh damn, you're not going to be running in trying to control my life every fifteen minutes? Only showing up when you want to get laid? Whatever shall I do?" I couldn't keep the disgust out of my voice. "You want to chase after her like a dog after a bitch in heat, that's your choice. But I don't need anything that pitiful around me anyways. You weren't ever there when I needed you. And now, I don't need you at all. So take your threats and shove them up your ass along with that big stick you already got shoved up there."
The one thing about Zack was that he could do more with a look than most men could do with any number of words. He didn't give anything I had to say the dignity of a response. He shot me a look and anything else I had to say died right there on the tip of my tongue.
"I'm going to get Logan," he said coldly. "Keep your mouth shut to her or you'll answer to me." For once I believed him. And for once I knew he would hurt me. The only problem was that I just didn't give a damn anymore. Come after me. The real damage would have already been done. I didn't say any of that to him. He had already slipped away like a ghost in the night.
"There's something I would like you to do for me Maxie," I said calmly.
The fury and disgust in her face was evident. "You think I owe you something after what you were trying to do to me?"
I had to let out a little laugh. "If I thought we were now even, then that meant I felt bad for what I was doing. I don't. In any case, all I want is for you to stay away from any other X-5. Zack will, of course, have to make his own decisions about you, but don't look for any of the others or try to contact them.
"Like I'm going to listen to you," she sneered.
I rolled my eyes. She wanted it; she was going to get it. "You're poison, Max," I explained to her as if I was talking to a child. "See, you've been out of the loop for so long, you no longer think you're a transgenic trying to behave like a normal person, you actually think that you are normal. You've only cost Ben his life and nearly cost Zack's a few times as well. Lydecker knows about me now, and trust me, I do not like that one bit. How many others are you going to have to kill before you realize what both Zack and I already know? You're poison sweetheart. And poison always kills in the end."
She snorted disdainfully. "Yeah, you're really one to talk about being careful. Lydecker wouldn't have been here if it wasn't for Ben."
"I've got the balls to do whatever is required to make things go away," I replied coldly, crossing my arms. "Would you have fucked Lydecker to keep him away from one of the others? Don't bother to answer. We already know that you wouldn't. You think like a fucking norm, Max. You don't want to think like a soldier, fine, but don't take anyone else out with you."
Headlights splashed over us as Logan pulled up with Zack. "Think about it, honey," I said with a little smile. "But don't think too long. There are not enough of us left to survive you wanting a long, drawn-out discussion."
The car stopped and Zack opened the door. Max turned back to look at me one last time. "Terran," she said with a friendly smile, "just wanted to let you know, even after all the alcohol in the world, no matter how much you drugged me...not in a million years." Oh. Ouch. That hurt. Max sneered and slammed the door shut. I stood there for a few minutes, watching the taillights dwindle into nothing. I didn't know if I would ever see any of them again. But who cared? I had the life that I wanted back at the club. To hell with them.
And so I lost. That's what I was thinking on the way back. I had to give up the win because of Lydecker. But he and I had come to an understanding. That was good. He would stay away from me and I would return the favor. The tape notwithstanding, I was willing to bet that he knew I was so far from what he wanted us to be; there would be no rehab strong enough for me. Maybe it wasn't a total loss then. A draw. Yes. I didn't totally ruin Max's life, but I made a good dent in it. She would dwell on what I had said to her. It might take a while, but it would get in there and sting. And the next time she saw one of us, she would be afraid to truly care about them. Afraid that they were there to betray her, that's what she would tell herself. In reality, she would be afraid that she was going to be the one to ruin them, get them caught or killed. She didn't lose Logan, true, but she lost any chance of a real reunion with the others. Yes. A draw worked for me and I found myself smiling as I got closer to the club. As far as that was concerned, it would recover. It was going to take a hell of a lot of work, but I was never afraid of work. It would recover.
I smelled it long before I saw. At first I thought it was just one of those odd smells that drift in from the bayou on a regular basis. But I knew better. I knew the smell of smoke. And as I got closer, it got stronger. And then I saw the plumes coming up from deep in the Quarter. Oh God. No. Please, God, no, this was not going to happen.
Some of what happened later was always to remain a little blurry. Leaping out of the car, charging towards where the firefighters were. Someone pushing me back. All my strength and I couldn't move. Smoke, acrid and black, filling my lungs, burning my eyes. Rage and hate rising higher than the smoke, burning hotter than the fire. Screw a fire investigator. Fuck them all. I knew. A little going away present from Daddy. You bastard. YOU BASTARD!
"TOPAZ!" From far away I heard Vic's relieved cry. I was standing alone, head slightly dipped, hands into fists. Behind me, him and Onyx came up, so very glad that I was alive. Wish I could share in their joy.
"We were so worried..." Onyx talking behind me. Saying other things, but none of it mattered. What mattered were the flames. Death. Destruction. End of all things. That's what my purpose was. Max and me, no different really. No ability to create. All we would ever do is destroy. Destroy and destroy and destroy. Yes. To destroy. And there was one thing left to go to make it total.
"Terran," I said, my back still to them. Both of them stopped talking at once, confused by my odd statement in answer to their desperate questions.
I turned around slowly, knowing the sight I was. Silhouetted in fire, cold rage pouring out of me in waves. A banshee, a harpee, something that should never be, yet still was. "My name," I said slowly, "is Terran."
Still, it was still a rather silly feeling to be this old and stealing cars. But it did get the job done. They had to meet Logan and a car was the best way to get there. And I could return the car on my way back. Unless the cops decided to be cops for once and I ended up in another pursuit. If I had to ditch in the bayou again and go for a late-night swim I was going to be one pissed bitch.
Max was silent for a few minutes when we took off. And then she had the nerve to ask, "You really set me up didn't you?" The hurt in her voice was disgusting. "Why, Terran? You know what happened! Why?"
"My God Max," I sneered, "Are you really that innocent or just plain stupid? Look at everything you've done. You deserved everything you were going to get you little bitch."
"Breaking up me and Logan wasn't going to get Ben back," she snapped. "Don't you think it killed me in the woods?" Her voice rose to a shout. "BUT YOU COULD HAVE STOPPED HIM LONG AGO, YOU BITCH! I DIDN'T EVER HAVE TO GET PUT IN THAT SITUATION! YOU COULD HAVE SHUT THAT BITCH DOWN LONG AGO!"
"Oh, that's right," I hissed. "Let's blame the world. God knows it's never precious Max's fault. Everyone else did it to her. She's not responsible for murder. Oh no, not her. She's too sweet and wonderful to hurt someone on purpose. May I remind you baby sister that I've seen you enjoy the taste of human blood before."
"Stop it, both of you," Zack ordered harshly, driving through the streets rapidly. "It doesn't matter anymore." If he had kept his fucking mouth shut, then I would have been able to as well. But he didn't and maybe it was ordained to be that way.
"Of course it doesn't matter to you that I didn't get what I wanted," I said bitterly. "You still have a shot at getting in her pants later on, just like you've been wanting all this time." I saw the alarm on his face but it didn't stop me. Only made me enjoy what I was saying and doing all the more. I addressed Max again, whose face was a study of horror at the thought of Zack wanting her in more than a brotherly way. "Why else was he helping me all this time? Don't worry though. Once Logan eventually drops you for a girl that he can really settle down with, Zack'll still be there, pitifully hanging on as ever. And he's pretty good in bed, so no great loss, right?"
I was lucky that Max was sitting between us. If not, Zack would have put me out the window. That or just choked the life out of me right then and there. I really didn't give a damn. He had promised me that Logan was no longer a factor. He was supposed to take care of that and he hadn't. If he had kept his end of the deal, he would be leaving with Max to some new city as the sun rose. But no. H hadn't been able to complete the mission. If there was one thing that should have stuck from Manticore, it was that there was always a consequence for not finishing a mission.
"Zack." she gasped.
"You needed to be protected from what you were doing," Zack said quickly. "You were getting too careless, Max. It had to get shut down before.before." And it finally hit him. "What were you going to do tonight?" he asked carefully.
Max looked at me harshly. "I don't know anymore," she said. "What was I going to do?"
I thought about not telling her. I thought about letting it go. But since she had caused me all of this grief, the least I could get from her would be the look of pain and shock and betrayal. That was something I would be able to relish for years to come. "You wouldn't have remembered much of it," I finally said with a smile. "But after you realized what you had done, how many men and maybe even a few women had you last night, you would do anything to get out of New Orleans to escape what you had become. Even if it meant leaving with Zack and never going back to Seattle."
She was shaking her head. "No way. I don't give a rat's ass what you would have said.never that. Ever."
I let out an amused little laugh as we pulled up close to the rendezvous site. "Yes Max, you would have. Had Logan been a few seconds later and you had your drink, you would have." And then I moved faster than I ever had in my life to get out of the truck, Max coming after my ass, wanting blood this time.
I was rather impressed with the variety of curses and vulgarities she managed to get out. We sparred for a few seconds until Zack broke in and shoved us apart, knocking us both to the ground easily. "Stand down!" he growled. His eyes raked me, knowing now that he had been just a pawn in all of this. "You're cut off, traitor," he said. "You're never going to see any of us again."
I snorted. "Oh damn, you're not going to be running in trying to control my life every fifteen minutes? Only showing up when you want to get laid? Whatever shall I do?" I couldn't keep the disgust out of my voice. "You want to chase after her like a dog after a bitch in heat, that's your choice. But I don't need anything that pitiful around me anyways. You weren't ever there when I needed you. And now, I don't need you at all. So take your threats and shove them up your ass along with that big stick you already got shoved up there."
The one thing about Zack was that he could do more with a look than most men could do with any number of words. He didn't give anything I had to say the dignity of a response. He shot me a look and anything else I had to say died right there on the tip of my tongue.
"I'm going to get Logan," he said coldly. "Keep your mouth shut to her or you'll answer to me." For once I believed him. And for once I knew he would hurt me. The only problem was that I just didn't give a damn anymore. Come after me. The real damage would have already been done. I didn't say any of that to him. He had already slipped away like a ghost in the night.
"There's something I would like you to do for me Maxie," I said calmly.
The fury and disgust in her face was evident. "You think I owe you something after what you were trying to do to me?"
I had to let out a little laugh. "If I thought we were now even, then that meant I felt bad for what I was doing. I don't. In any case, all I want is for you to stay away from any other X-5. Zack will, of course, have to make his own decisions about you, but don't look for any of the others or try to contact them.
"Like I'm going to listen to you," she sneered.
I rolled my eyes. She wanted it; she was going to get it. "You're poison, Max," I explained to her as if I was talking to a child. "See, you've been out of the loop for so long, you no longer think you're a transgenic trying to behave like a normal person, you actually think that you are normal. You've only cost Ben his life and nearly cost Zack's a few times as well. Lydecker knows about me now, and trust me, I do not like that one bit. How many others are you going to have to kill before you realize what both Zack and I already know? You're poison sweetheart. And poison always kills in the end."
She snorted disdainfully. "Yeah, you're really one to talk about being careful. Lydecker wouldn't have been here if it wasn't for Ben."
"I've got the balls to do whatever is required to make things go away," I replied coldly, crossing my arms. "Would you have fucked Lydecker to keep him away from one of the others? Don't bother to answer. We already know that you wouldn't. You think like a fucking norm, Max. You don't want to think like a soldier, fine, but don't take anyone else out with you."
Headlights splashed over us as Logan pulled up with Zack. "Think about it, honey," I said with a little smile. "But don't think too long. There are not enough of us left to survive you wanting a long, drawn-out discussion."
The car stopped and Zack opened the door. Max turned back to look at me one last time. "Terran," she said with a friendly smile, "just wanted to let you know, even after all the alcohol in the world, no matter how much you drugged me...not in a million years." Oh. Ouch. That hurt. Max sneered and slammed the door shut. I stood there for a few minutes, watching the taillights dwindle into nothing. I didn't know if I would ever see any of them again. But who cared? I had the life that I wanted back at the club. To hell with them.
And so I lost. That's what I was thinking on the way back. I had to give up the win because of Lydecker. But he and I had come to an understanding. That was good. He would stay away from me and I would return the favor. The tape notwithstanding, I was willing to bet that he knew I was so far from what he wanted us to be; there would be no rehab strong enough for me. Maybe it wasn't a total loss then. A draw. Yes. I didn't totally ruin Max's life, but I made a good dent in it. She would dwell on what I had said to her. It might take a while, but it would get in there and sting. And the next time she saw one of us, she would be afraid to truly care about them. Afraid that they were there to betray her, that's what she would tell herself. In reality, she would be afraid that she was going to be the one to ruin them, get them caught or killed. She didn't lose Logan, true, but she lost any chance of a real reunion with the others. Yes. A draw worked for me and I found myself smiling as I got closer to the club. As far as that was concerned, it would recover. It was going to take a hell of a lot of work, but I was never afraid of work. It would recover.
I smelled it long before I saw. At first I thought it was just one of those odd smells that drift in from the bayou on a regular basis. But I knew better. I knew the smell of smoke. And as I got closer, it got stronger. And then I saw the plumes coming up from deep in the Quarter. Oh God. No. Please, God, no, this was not going to happen.
Some of what happened later was always to remain a little blurry. Leaping out of the car, charging towards where the firefighters were. Someone pushing me back. All my strength and I couldn't move. Smoke, acrid and black, filling my lungs, burning my eyes. Rage and hate rising higher than the smoke, burning hotter than the fire. Screw a fire investigator. Fuck them all. I knew. A little going away present from Daddy. You bastard. YOU BASTARD!
"TOPAZ!" From far away I heard Vic's relieved cry. I was standing alone, head slightly dipped, hands into fists. Behind me, him and Onyx came up, so very glad that I was alive. Wish I could share in their joy.
"We were so worried..." Onyx talking behind me. Saying other things, but none of it mattered. What mattered were the flames. Death. Destruction. End of all things. That's what my purpose was. Max and me, no different really. No ability to create. All we would ever do is destroy. Destroy and destroy and destroy. Yes. To destroy. And there was one thing left to go to make it total.
"Terran," I said, my back still to them. Both of them stopped talking at once, confused by my odd statement in answer to their desperate questions.
I turned around slowly, knowing the sight I was. Silhouetted in fire, cold rage pouring out of me in waves. A banshee, a harpee, something that should never be, yet still was. "My name," I said slowly, "is Terran."