In retrospect, it was amazing how clear everything became. All of the
anger, the rage the loss and despair couldn't touch me. I turned away from
the two people that I cared for the most in the world and went directly
back to the stolen truck. I knew Vic and Onyx were following me and that
they got into the truck with me, their questions flitting about me like
angry little bees. I knew they were frightened, perhaps going with me out
of fear that I had been driven insane by the loss of the thing that had
driven me since I was thirteen.
I might have been insane at that moment. Maybe. But if it was, it was a madness with such clarity of purpose that I suppose it alone would have driven a lesser person crazy. I prefer to think of it as a total lack of caring. A sense of purpose created by the loss of everything that has ever been considered a tie down in the world. And once all of the peripherals are gone, and pardon the borrowing of a phrase my darling Zack, once the phony sentimentality has been stripped away, what was there left? What drive and purpose? This was the point at which so many others stepped off of the ledge or pulled the trigger. Clarity. Absolute and precise. They saw themselves as nothing. I.I saw myself as what I was. Embraced it. See you later, Topaz. Terran has things to do.
A few minutes and I noticed it was quieter. Vic and Onyx had stopped talking and were waiting. I smiled. They both recoiled from it. Why? I had no ill wishes for them. True, they would probably die soon, but it was their choice to follow me. I had no concerns for whether or not they live out the night. It was up to luck and chance. "I have to finish something," I said simply. That was the summation of everything, but they didn't understand that. It was time to finish what had been started over twenty years ago. Time for the circle to close.
I was driving more on instinct than a real idea of where I was going. It wasn't that far really. Not the police station. That didn't feel right. Where else then? There was a Navy base not too far away. It had once been used for training out on the river. Most of it was shut down now, but if anywhere, that was the place. I could feel it in every ounce of me. There was no sense of entering enemy territory as I drove up to the gate and got out of the truck. I felt more like I was coming home.
I suppose I was quite a sight when I got out. Dressed in layers of gauzy material, iridescent high heeled shoes, hair wild and face streaked with soot. No ID and two terrified passengers in the cab of the truck with me. No wonder the two guards hoisted their automatic rifles at me. I think the fact I didn't flinch might have startled them more than the sight itself.
I didn't care that Vic and Onyx could hear me when I said firmly, "X-5-749 to see Colonel Lydecker." If they had any idea what that meant, they weren't expecting the accent. One of them reached into the guard booth and pulled out a binder. It should have been too far away but I could read the header "Visitors and Authorized Guests" on the cover just fine. I'm sure I was in there, but it occurred to me that I would rather surprise Lydecker than be announced.
The guards didn't understand what X-5-749 meant. That became obvious when my initial burst of speed took them totally off guard. I was never sure exactly what I did after that moment, it was like I went into automatic and let my body do what was needed. A few seconds later, both guards were dead at my feet. One of their heads was twisted at an unnatural angle and a crimson puddle of blood was spreading from beneath the other one. His throat had been slashed with his own service knife. I was still holding it, so I guess I had been the one to do the amateur surgery. I tossed it away lightly, and got the binder out of the guard booth before getting into the truck again.
Vic and Onyx were gazing at me with far more than terror now. I think it had passed beyond mortal terror and into the realm of awe by this point. "What are you?" Victor finally asked as I opened the binder. First page was the map of the base. Memorized in an eye blink.
"X-5-749," I replied absently as I flipped through the pages to find out where Lydecker was on the base. I knew I wouldn't have much time. He would be expecting me to run either from the city or to him. But if he had been dealing with Max then he would be expecting a covert and non-lethal entrance. I wasn't Max. "Military black ops," I added, remembering that I had been carrying on a conversation. It was getting scary how easily the unimportant was fading around me as if it didn't exist at all.
"When you said Ben was AWOL.this is all part of that, isn't it?" Onyx asked. She had been wild to know more about Ben's past, but I had told her I didn't want to talk about it. She got the hint eventually.
"It's not part," I replied as I started the truck again. "It's all of it. Lydecker was looking for me too. He just didn't recognize me when we met up again. It had been a long time since we'd seen each other. And kids do grow up after ten years."
Victor was the one that knew the most about how I got the club. He knew how those hit men had mysteriously turned up dead. He had never thought that I had personally done it. How could I? They were two big tough men and I was a kid. Now he was rethinking his whole image of me. The two dead guards behind us probably had a lot to do with that rethinking. And that was nothing. Inside the real show of ability was going to take place. They might live to see the end of it. Might not. But that thought wasn't changing my goal. Their lives were no longer my concern.
Visitor's quarters or office? Office. That wasn't even a question. He wouldn't be getting tucked in his little bed, dreaming his dreams of perfect soldiers and how he was going to destroy the lives they had chosen. No. He would be planning on how to fuck us over just a little harder next time. And waiting to see if I would show up and say hello. Thank him for getting me on the move. Or maybe sobbing and wanting to turn myself in and apologize for upsetting him. I think he might have thought we had changed. He didn't understand. I was exactly the same heartless and ruthless creature he had created. I had just finally turned on him.
I pulled up in front of a building and recognized the TAC gear on the two guards outside. 'Deck's men. One thing that I found a little ironic was the fact that I had a barcode again. I had started to let my hair grow when I got to Seattle. When Max came back with me I wanted her to feel more "bonded" so I didn't cut my hair and instead covered the barcode with makeup. A few more weeks and I wouldn't have to do it anymore. As I started to get out of the truck, I grabbed one of the layers of gauze and wiped away the last vestige of makeup off of my neck.
Onyx grabbed my hand. "Don't do this," she begged. "Please honey, let's get out of this place. You don't need to do this."
I hesitated, feeling like sanity was begging me to let it back in. But she didn't understand. There was no way that she could. "Don't worry sweetness," I said gently. "It'll all be over very soon." I wondered if they would be there when I got back. If they were smart they wouldn't be. Nothing was safe around me anymore. Me and Max, no different. We were born to destroy. Everything we touched was going to crumble. I yanked my hand away quickly. It might be too late for them already.
The guards were on alert as I walked the ten feet or so separating us. They weren't ones that had been in the club when I pulled my little stunt, but they were obviously on alert for anything. And I was willing to bet they had seen X-5's in action. I paused, turned, brushing my hair aside enough for them to see the barcode and then turned around again. "Lydecker," I growled, my voice not my own.
They both had their guns aimed at me and then paused. One of their head cocked slightly. Listening. Yes, they were used to dealing with X-5's. I couldn't hear what was being said into the earpiece. Then he gestured with the gun. "You're expected," he smirked. I thought about yanking out his left eyeball to show what happens when you look down on my kind but then reconsidered. I didn't feel like wasting the time.
"They're not authorized," the other one said quickly. I hadn't noticed that Vic and Onyx had gotten out of the truck as well and were right behind me. They had my back just as they always had. If I left them out here the guards were going to shoot them. That was the proper thing to do to people with unauthorized knowledge.
"They're with me," I said coldly, not realizing until later how little accent I had then. It was like someone else was speaking. "You got a problem with them, then you got a problem with me. You want to have a problem with me?" Our eyes met evenly and I guess he saw that I wasn't playing. What he was seeing was death restrained by the barest thread. And he knew it too.
He swallowed. "Go on." Good call.
I turned on my heel and went into the building. It was a single story building with long hallways and lots of doors. I didn't have to hunt. My prey would be waiting for me. At least that's what I thought. I could picture him with those cold blue eyes and that slimy self-satisfied smile. I was so intent on him that I nearly walked over the woman that came out of one of those doors, smiling at me.
I stopped in the hall and glared at her. Her expression was sympathetic and she didn't bat an eye at the way I was dressed or the company I was with. She held up a radio. "That's okay," she said into it. "You did the right thing to let them in." She smiled at me. I didn't react in the slightest. This was an unexpected turn of events, but I didn't give a damn who she was or what she wanted. The fact that I was in the lion's den didn't bother me at all. I was here for blood, and that was what I was going to get. She was a minor delay.
"I'm Director Renfro," she introduced. "And you must be X-5-749. I'm so glad to finally meet you. I heard what happened. I am so sorry about that. Sometimes 'Deck just gets carried away, but I'm sure you know about that far better than I." Her tone was so sincere I wanted to puke.
"Where is he?" I asked, measuring the words out carefully. She had three seconds before she became a bloodstain on the wall.
She faltered a second, but recovered quickly. Later, when I thought about it, I realized that she must have met others but this was not the way it went. Maybe with Brinn she was able to use a deep-set hatred for Lydecker to make her an ally. I didn't give a fuck about alliances. I didn't expect to see the dawn, so what did I care? "He's here," she said with a tight smile. "Why don't we go talk to him?"
The only thing that I could figure was that she wanted me to kill him. Maybe he was a pest to her, a reminder of a time when she didn't have power at Manticore. If he were killed by one of his kids, the irony would be wonderful. But those were all thoughts that I came up with later. Right then, I was stalking down the hall behind her, heedless of any danger. And the bitch didn't think I was going to go after her. She was thinking that everything was concentrated on Lydecker. It was. But I was more than capable of multitasking and parallel processing. She might have been the director, but she didn't know shit about my kind.
Without ceremony she threw open a door and Lydecker looked up, somewhat startled. It hit me then that when Renfro showed up, she took over the show, including being the first one to know if an X-5 was around. If they knew about the guards at the gate, she was the one who had been informed, and she had deliberately kept it from Lydecker. He recovered quickly though. A smirk formed on his mouth. He didn't give a damn if Renfro was proving a point to him or just sticking it up his ass. I didn't give a fuck about their petty little power games. It was my time now, and by God and Sonny Jesus, they were all going to pay.
"Director," I said softly. She turned to me, expectantly. Maybe she was expecting me to ask for a moment alone with him. One she would gladly give. And laugh as she heard him die. I smiled at her. "A whore can't fool another whore," I said simply. Her sudden look of outrage delighted me. "We're both flesh peddlers, bitch. Never believe yourself any better than that."
I was still for the barest second and then moved so fast all they could see was a streak. Renfro was suddenly slammed against the wall, her radio shattered and Lydecker was off his feet, my hand wrapped around his throat. He was turning red, clawing at the iron grip, but there was no way I was letting go. His blows might have been hard, but I couldn't feel them.
"You know," I said, wonderingly. "I think you might have succeeded after all. I'm starting to like the feeling of being able to take a life whenever I want. Now I just got to decide who I want more." With a contemptuous flick of my wrist, he was flying across the room, landing in a heap. Renfro was getting to her feet, and I was on her in a flash.
I grabbed her by the hair, hauling her up with my arm around her neck. "IS THIS WHAT YOU DID IT FOR?" I screamed at Lydecker. He looked a little dazed from the last blow to the head, but I didn't care. I could literally feel my mind tearing free from it's mooring of sanity, but I didn't care.
"IS THIS IT?" I screamed again. "A BAD DYE JOB WITH A GOOD SUIT AND A CHEAP PAIR OF SHOES?" Suddenly touching her was more loathsome than when I let him screw me on my desk. My desk. A pile of ashes by now anyways. I shoved her away from me. Now she was scared and I was glad.
"It was a draw!" I raged. "Didn't you get that, you fucking bastard? It was a goddamned draw!"
If I thought he was cruel when I was a kid, it was nothing to the way he looked just then. The ice in his eyes cooled my rage ever so slightly. "It'll never be a draw Terran," he said calmly. He knew me. Now he knew me. "You needed an object lesson. You will never get a draw out there because you don't belong there. You belong here." For a second that seemed to span an eternity, I wavered. His calm confidence, it leaked into me somehow.
"Like hell she belongs to you!" The shout from the sidelines jolted me. Onyx stood there, hands on her hips, giving both Lydecker and Renfro withering looks. "I don't give a damn who did what or where all this came from, but she's my bitch now, and I will fuck you both up if you try playing with my girl," she declared.
I blinked, and looked at her, feeling like I was going to laugh or cry or scream. I wasn't sure which. She shot me a gorgeous smile. "You promised me anything I wanted when you got back, honey," she reminded me. "I want us out of here. Now. You're too good for these people."
I turned taking a step towards them when the world shattered. Onyx, standing there so calm and collected, Victor behind her, a welcoming beacon back to sanity. And then she was thrown back, the glass in the window exploding inward. Crimson blood contrasting on dark skin. Victor catching her from falling on the floor. She didn't cry out or scream. All I could hear was a loud thrumming. Booted feet running towards us, or my own heart, I never knew.
My vision seemed to dim as if through a red curtain. Red as the blood pouring out of the hole close to where her shoulder met her neck. Things seemed to be in slow motion as I whipped back around. A panel in the back of the office opened and men came in, maybe half a dozen of them with tazers and guns. The office was large; they didn't crowd it. Lydecker was getting up, trying to get with them. Renfro was waiting on the sidelines, knowing that she was going to win no matter the outcome here.
"Get her out of here," I said, hearing my voice thickly, as if from a distance. Everything was going so slow like we were all underwater. At least that was my perspective. In truth, I moved with a speed that they had never seen before in any of the X-series. I dimly remember it. I remember the sounds of bones breaking, of tazers getting yanked out of hands and used against them. Bullets coming so close my hair moved in the wind they created in passing. None of it meant anything to me. I was death. Chaos. Destruction. They wanted it. They got it.
Everything seemed to clear sharply and I got my hands on a shoulder that was trying to escape. My fingers tightened into an iron clamp and spun Lydecker around. Renfro was already running, calling reinforcements but I didn't care. Victor was gone with Onyx and it was just the two of us, alone again.
"She ordered it," he gasped harshly. Blood was running from a cut on the side of his head. I couldn't remember if I had done it or it just happened in the ruckus.
"Then she'll pay later for it," I said almost tenderly. "She took Onyx. But this, honey, is for Ben." The sharp crack filled the room more than the TAC team ever could. Lydecker's head lolled back obscenely, the shattered vertebrae in his neck unable to support it any longer. I let the body drop lifeless to the floor. So terrifying in life, so small in death. That was the way of it I guess. I didn't feel the satisfaction I thought I would. All I felt...all I felt was absolutely nothing. No more anger, no more fear. Just nothing.
Until I thought about who some of the blood on the floor belonged to. The anguish that washed through me was physically painful to the point where I had to grab the wall for support for a second. I started running, faster than human eyes could see, running hard to the outside, breaking through the doors that I had entered just a few minutes before.
Victor's feet were visible, the rest of his body under the dashboard. The truck suddenly rumbled to life. I noticed then that the other guard was unconscious on the ground. One should never underestimate a man just because his company was better in combat. That was a good way to end up with a fractured skull, as the guard would learn in the morning.
Victor looked up when I burst through the doors, relief coloring his features. I didn't know why. They wouldn't be in this mess if it weren't for me. "Hospital," he said quickly. "She's bleeding bad..." There was no way they were going to get out quickly enough. No way Onyx was going to survive sneaking out. Oh well. I had always been more of a direct kind of girl. I looked at the guard's prone body and smiled.
"Drive to the gate and don't stop for nothing or nobody," I said quickly. "They'll be coming for me."
He looked in the truck and then back at me desperately, wanting to save us both. I caught a glimpse of Onyx and had to fight back a scream. She already looked dead. There was no way she was going to make it. But Victor was alive and damn it, I wasn't going to let him down as well. "Go!" I said again, more firmly. There wasn't a choice in the matter and he let it go, jumping into the truck. "Victor!" I cried out before I meant to. He paused and looked out the window. "Don't forget that I loved you both," I said softly. Thank God he didn't reply. I wouldn't have been able to take off if he had. It was the first time I had ever said those words to someone and really meant it.
He peeled down the road and I grabbed the three hand grenades that had been hanging on the guard's belt and his rifle. It was going to have to be enough. Helicopters were coming in and dogs were barking and this place was going to be a flood of personnel in a few minutes. But I could keep them busy while Victor made it to the gate. My life meant very little to me right then. Death would have been a comfort. But I had to hold on until he made it to the gate.
I ran for a few seconds and then took the pin out of the first grenade, turning and pitching it hard into the building I had just emerged from. These were special incendiary grenades. They didn't just explode. They burned. It crashed through a window and the first explosion soon followed, the shock wave knocking me to the ground.
Now the organized search and destroy patterns were being thrown into chaos. Two helicopters diverted, heading towards me rather than the road. I ran again, taking cover behind a shed and hoisted the automatic rifle. My enhanced vision made for a perfect scope and I fired it mercilessly into the rotor. It began sparking and smoking and the helicopter started spinning around and around helplessly. I was on the move again as I heard the explosion of it crashing into the ground behind me.
This wasn't going to last long. There was another building close by and I threw the next grenade into it. The searchlight from one helicopter caught me and I was suddenly running faster than I ever had before, a spray of bullets making a path in the dirt directly behind where I was running. It didn't matter. A few more seconds and the ground units were going to be there. One last grenade. One for Terran.
A low rumble in the ground and then suddenly a tremor strong enough to make me stumble. I blinked in confusion and then there was a god almighty explosion from the small building that I had tossed the grenade into. The fire plume cut off the second helicopter from its line of sight to me and then ground shook harder again this time. There was a manhole about twenty feet from me and the cover suddenly flew into the air, fire licking it from underneath. Gas main, I thought suddenly. Holy fucking shit. The devil must truly love his own because somehow I managed to toast the building that had a direct pipeline into their gas lines. The gas was burning and this whole place was about to go.
Stay or go.
Stay and let it all end once and for all.
Go and face...whatever was left.
Stay.
Or go.
I might have been insane at that moment. Maybe. But if it was, it was a madness with such clarity of purpose that I suppose it alone would have driven a lesser person crazy. I prefer to think of it as a total lack of caring. A sense of purpose created by the loss of everything that has ever been considered a tie down in the world. And once all of the peripherals are gone, and pardon the borrowing of a phrase my darling Zack, once the phony sentimentality has been stripped away, what was there left? What drive and purpose? This was the point at which so many others stepped off of the ledge or pulled the trigger. Clarity. Absolute and precise. They saw themselves as nothing. I.I saw myself as what I was. Embraced it. See you later, Topaz. Terran has things to do.
A few minutes and I noticed it was quieter. Vic and Onyx had stopped talking and were waiting. I smiled. They both recoiled from it. Why? I had no ill wishes for them. True, they would probably die soon, but it was their choice to follow me. I had no concerns for whether or not they live out the night. It was up to luck and chance. "I have to finish something," I said simply. That was the summation of everything, but they didn't understand that. It was time to finish what had been started over twenty years ago. Time for the circle to close.
I was driving more on instinct than a real idea of where I was going. It wasn't that far really. Not the police station. That didn't feel right. Where else then? There was a Navy base not too far away. It had once been used for training out on the river. Most of it was shut down now, but if anywhere, that was the place. I could feel it in every ounce of me. There was no sense of entering enemy territory as I drove up to the gate and got out of the truck. I felt more like I was coming home.
I suppose I was quite a sight when I got out. Dressed in layers of gauzy material, iridescent high heeled shoes, hair wild and face streaked with soot. No ID and two terrified passengers in the cab of the truck with me. No wonder the two guards hoisted their automatic rifles at me. I think the fact I didn't flinch might have startled them more than the sight itself.
I didn't care that Vic and Onyx could hear me when I said firmly, "X-5-749 to see Colonel Lydecker." If they had any idea what that meant, they weren't expecting the accent. One of them reached into the guard booth and pulled out a binder. It should have been too far away but I could read the header "Visitors and Authorized Guests" on the cover just fine. I'm sure I was in there, but it occurred to me that I would rather surprise Lydecker than be announced.
The guards didn't understand what X-5-749 meant. That became obvious when my initial burst of speed took them totally off guard. I was never sure exactly what I did after that moment, it was like I went into automatic and let my body do what was needed. A few seconds later, both guards were dead at my feet. One of their heads was twisted at an unnatural angle and a crimson puddle of blood was spreading from beneath the other one. His throat had been slashed with his own service knife. I was still holding it, so I guess I had been the one to do the amateur surgery. I tossed it away lightly, and got the binder out of the guard booth before getting into the truck again.
Vic and Onyx were gazing at me with far more than terror now. I think it had passed beyond mortal terror and into the realm of awe by this point. "What are you?" Victor finally asked as I opened the binder. First page was the map of the base. Memorized in an eye blink.
"X-5-749," I replied absently as I flipped through the pages to find out where Lydecker was on the base. I knew I wouldn't have much time. He would be expecting me to run either from the city or to him. But if he had been dealing with Max then he would be expecting a covert and non-lethal entrance. I wasn't Max. "Military black ops," I added, remembering that I had been carrying on a conversation. It was getting scary how easily the unimportant was fading around me as if it didn't exist at all.
"When you said Ben was AWOL.this is all part of that, isn't it?" Onyx asked. She had been wild to know more about Ben's past, but I had told her I didn't want to talk about it. She got the hint eventually.
"It's not part," I replied as I started the truck again. "It's all of it. Lydecker was looking for me too. He just didn't recognize me when we met up again. It had been a long time since we'd seen each other. And kids do grow up after ten years."
Victor was the one that knew the most about how I got the club. He knew how those hit men had mysteriously turned up dead. He had never thought that I had personally done it. How could I? They were two big tough men and I was a kid. Now he was rethinking his whole image of me. The two dead guards behind us probably had a lot to do with that rethinking. And that was nothing. Inside the real show of ability was going to take place. They might live to see the end of it. Might not. But that thought wasn't changing my goal. Their lives were no longer my concern.
Visitor's quarters or office? Office. That wasn't even a question. He wouldn't be getting tucked in his little bed, dreaming his dreams of perfect soldiers and how he was going to destroy the lives they had chosen. No. He would be planning on how to fuck us over just a little harder next time. And waiting to see if I would show up and say hello. Thank him for getting me on the move. Or maybe sobbing and wanting to turn myself in and apologize for upsetting him. I think he might have thought we had changed. He didn't understand. I was exactly the same heartless and ruthless creature he had created. I had just finally turned on him.
I pulled up in front of a building and recognized the TAC gear on the two guards outside. 'Deck's men. One thing that I found a little ironic was the fact that I had a barcode again. I had started to let my hair grow when I got to Seattle. When Max came back with me I wanted her to feel more "bonded" so I didn't cut my hair and instead covered the barcode with makeup. A few more weeks and I wouldn't have to do it anymore. As I started to get out of the truck, I grabbed one of the layers of gauze and wiped away the last vestige of makeup off of my neck.
Onyx grabbed my hand. "Don't do this," she begged. "Please honey, let's get out of this place. You don't need to do this."
I hesitated, feeling like sanity was begging me to let it back in. But she didn't understand. There was no way that she could. "Don't worry sweetness," I said gently. "It'll all be over very soon." I wondered if they would be there when I got back. If they were smart they wouldn't be. Nothing was safe around me anymore. Me and Max, no different. We were born to destroy. Everything we touched was going to crumble. I yanked my hand away quickly. It might be too late for them already.
The guards were on alert as I walked the ten feet or so separating us. They weren't ones that had been in the club when I pulled my little stunt, but they were obviously on alert for anything. And I was willing to bet they had seen X-5's in action. I paused, turned, brushing my hair aside enough for them to see the barcode and then turned around again. "Lydecker," I growled, my voice not my own.
They both had their guns aimed at me and then paused. One of their head cocked slightly. Listening. Yes, they were used to dealing with X-5's. I couldn't hear what was being said into the earpiece. Then he gestured with the gun. "You're expected," he smirked. I thought about yanking out his left eyeball to show what happens when you look down on my kind but then reconsidered. I didn't feel like wasting the time.
"They're not authorized," the other one said quickly. I hadn't noticed that Vic and Onyx had gotten out of the truck as well and were right behind me. They had my back just as they always had. If I left them out here the guards were going to shoot them. That was the proper thing to do to people with unauthorized knowledge.
"They're with me," I said coldly, not realizing until later how little accent I had then. It was like someone else was speaking. "You got a problem with them, then you got a problem with me. You want to have a problem with me?" Our eyes met evenly and I guess he saw that I wasn't playing. What he was seeing was death restrained by the barest thread. And he knew it too.
He swallowed. "Go on." Good call.
I turned on my heel and went into the building. It was a single story building with long hallways and lots of doors. I didn't have to hunt. My prey would be waiting for me. At least that's what I thought. I could picture him with those cold blue eyes and that slimy self-satisfied smile. I was so intent on him that I nearly walked over the woman that came out of one of those doors, smiling at me.
I stopped in the hall and glared at her. Her expression was sympathetic and she didn't bat an eye at the way I was dressed or the company I was with. She held up a radio. "That's okay," she said into it. "You did the right thing to let them in." She smiled at me. I didn't react in the slightest. This was an unexpected turn of events, but I didn't give a damn who she was or what she wanted. The fact that I was in the lion's den didn't bother me at all. I was here for blood, and that was what I was going to get. She was a minor delay.
"I'm Director Renfro," she introduced. "And you must be X-5-749. I'm so glad to finally meet you. I heard what happened. I am so sorry about that. Sometimes 'Deck just gets carried away, but I'm sure you know about that far better than I." Her tone was so sincere I wanted to puke.
"Where is he?" I asked, measuring the words out carefully. She had three seconds before she became a bloodstain on the wall.
She faltered a second, but recovered quickly. Later, when I thought about it, I realized that she must have met others but this was not the way it went. Maybe with Brinn she was able to use a deep-set hatred for Lydecker to make her an ally. I didn't give a fuck about alliances. I didn't expect to see the dawn, so what did I care? "He's here," she said with a tight smile. "Why don't we go talk to him?"
The only thing that I could figure was that she wanted me to kill him. Maybe he was a pest to her, a reminder of a time when she didn't have power at Manticore. If he were killed by one of his kids, the irony would be wonderful. But those were all thoughts that I came up with later. Right then, I was stalking down the hall behind her, heedless of any danger. And the bitch didn't think I was going to go after her. She was thinking that everything was concentrated on Lydecker. It was. But I was more than capable of multitasking and parallel processing. She might have been the director, but she didn't know shit about my kind.
Without ceremony she threw open a door and Lydecker looked up, somewhat startled. It hit me then that when Renfro showed up, she took over the show, including being the first one to know if an X-5 was around. If they knew about the guards at the gate, she was the one who had been informed, and she had deliberately kept it from Lydecker. He recovered quickly though. A smirk formed on his mouth. He didn't give a damn if Renfro was proving a point to him or just sticking it up his ass. I didn't give a fuck about their petty little power games. It was my time now, and by God and Sonny Jesus, they were all going to pay.
"Director," I said softly. She turned to me, expectantly. Maybe she was expecting me to ask for a moment alone with him. One she would gladly give. And laugh as she heard him die. I smiled at her. "A whore can't fool another whore," I said simply. Her sudden look of outrage delighted me. "We're both flesh peddlers, bitch. Never believe yourself any better than that."
I was still for the barest second and then moved so fast all they could see was a streak. Renfro was suddenly slammed against the wall, her radio shattered and Lydecker was off his feet, my hand wrapped around his throat. He was turning red, clawing at the iron grip, but there was no way I was letting go. His blows might have been hard, but I couldn't feel them.
"You know," I said, wonderingly. "I think you might have succeeded after all. I'm starting to like the feeling of being able to take a life whenever I want. Now I just got to decide who I want more." With a contemptuous flick of my wrist, he was flying across the room, landing in a heap. Renfro was getting to her feet, and I was on her in a flash.
I grabbed her by the hair, hauling her up with my arm around her neck. "IS THIS WHAT YOU DID IT FOR?" I screamed at Lydecker. He looked a little dazed from the last blow to the head, but I didn't care. I could literally feel my mind tearing free from it's mooring of sanity, but I didn't care.
"IS THIS IT?" I screamed again. "A BAD DYE JOB WITH A GOOD SUIT AND A CHEAP PAIR OF SHOES?" Suddenly touching her was more loathsome than when I let him screw me on my desk. My desk. A pile of ashes by now anyways. I shoved her away from me. Now she was scared and I was glad.
"It was a draw!" I raged. "Didn't you get that, you fucking bastard? It was a goddamned draw!"
If I thought he was cruel when I was a kid, it was nothing to the way he looked just then. The ice in his eyes cooled my rage ever so slightly. "It'll never be a draw Terran," he said calmly. He knew me. Now he knew me. "You needed an object lesson. You will never get a draw out there because you don't belong there. You belong here." For a second that seemed to span an eternity, I wavered. His calm confidence, it leaked into me somehow.
"Like hell she belongs to you!" The shout from the sidelines jolted me. Onyx stood there, hands on her hips, giving both Lydecker and Renfro withering looks. "I don't give a damn who did what or where all this came from, but she's my bitch now, and I will fuck you both up if you try playing with my girl," she declared.
I blinked, and looked at her, feeling like I was going to laugh or cry or scream. I wasn't sure which. She shot me a gorgeous smile. "You promised me anything I wanted when you got back, honey," she reminded me. "I want us out of here. Now. You're too good for these people."
I turned taking a step towards them when the world shattered. Onyx, standing there so calm and collected, Victor behind her, a welcoming beacon back to sanity. And then she was thrown back, the glass in the window exploding inward. Crimson blood contrasting on dark skin. Victor catching her from falling on the floor. She didn't cry out or scream. All I could hear was a loud thrumming. Booted feet running towards us, or my own heart, I never knew.
My vision seemed to dim as if through a red curtain. Red as the blood pouring out of the hole close to where her shoulder met her neck. Things seemed to be in slow motion as I whipped back around. A panel in the back of the office opened and men came in, maybe half a dozen of them with tazers and guns. The office was large; they didn't crowd it. Lydecker was getting up, trying to get with them. Renfro was waiting on the sidelines, knowing that she was going to win no matter the outcome here.
"Get her out of here," I said, hearing my voice thickly, as if from a distance. Everything was going so slow like we were all underwater. At least that was my perspective. In truth, I moved with a speed that they had never seen before in any of the X-series. I dimly remember it. I remember the sounds of bones breaking, of tazers getting yanked out of hands and used against them. Bullets coming so close my hair moved in the wind they created in passing. None of it meant anything to me. I was death. Chaos. Destruction. They wanted it. They got it.
Everything seemed to clear sharply and I got my hands on a shoulder that was trying to escape. My fingers tightened into an iron clamp and spun Lydecker around. Renfro was already running, calling reinforcements but I didn't care. Victor was gone with Onyx and it was just the two of us, alone again.
"She ordered it," he gasped harshly. Blood was running from a cut on the side of his head. I couldn't remember if I had done it or it just happened in the ruckus.
"Then she'll pay later for it," I said almost tenderly. "She took Onyx. But this, honey, is for Ben." The sharp crack filled the room more than the TAC team ever could. Lydecker's head lolled back obscenely, the shattered vertebrae in his neck unable to support it any longer. I let the body drop lifeless to the floor. So terrifying in life, so small in death. That was the way of it I guess. I didn't feel the satisfaction I thought I would. All I felt...all I felt was absolutely nothing. No more anger, no more fear. Just nothing.
Until I thought about who some of the blood on the floor belonged to. The anguish that washed through me was physically painful to the point where I had to grab the wall for support for a second. I started running, faster than human eyes could see, running hard to the outside, breaking through the doors that I had entered just a few minutes before.
Victor's feet were visible, the rest of his body under the dashboard. The truck suddenly rumbled to life. I noticed then that the other guard was unconscious on the ground. One should never underestimate a man just because his company was better in combat. That was a good way to end up with a fractured skull, as the guard would learn in the morning.
Victor looked up when I burst through the doors, relief coloring his features. I didn't know why. They wouldn't be in this mess if it weren't for me. "Hospital," he said quickly. "She's bleeding bad..." There was no way they were going to get out quickly enough. No way Onyx was going to survive sneaking out. Oh well. I had always been more of a direct kind of girl. I looked at the guard's prone body and smiled.
"Drive to the gate and don't stop for nothing or nobody," I said quickly. "They'll be coming for me."
He looked in the truck and then back at me desperately, wanting to save us both. I caught a glimpse of Onyx and had to fight back a scream. She already looked dead. There was no way she was going to make it. But Victor was alive and damn it, I wasn't going to let him down as well. "Go!" I said again, more firmly. There wasn't a choice in the matter and he let it go, jumping into the truck. "Victor!" I cried out before I meant to. He paused and looked out the window. "Don't forget that I loved you both," I said softly. Thank God he didn't reply. I wouldn't have been able to take off if he had. It was the first time I had ever said those words to someone and really meant it.
He peeled down the road and I grabbed the three hand grenades that had been hanging on the guard's belt and his rifle. It was going to have to be enough. Helicopters were coming in and dogs were barking and this place was going to be a flood of personnel in a few minutes. But I could keep them busy while Victor made it to the gate. My life meant very little to me right then. Death would have been a comfort. But I had to hold on until he made it to the gate.
I ran for a few seconds and then took the pin out of the first grenade, turning and pitching it hard into the building I had just emerged from. These were special incendiary grenades. They didn't just explode. They burned. It crashed through a window and the first explosion soon followed, the shock wave knocking me to the ground.
Now the organized search and destroy patterns were being thrown into chaos. Two helicopters diverted, heading towards me rather than the road. I ran again, taking cover behind a shed and hoisted the automatic rifle. My enhanced vision made for a perfect scope and I fired it mercilessly into the rotor. It began sparking and smoking and the helicopter started spinning around and around helplessly. I was on the move again as I heard the explosion of it crashing into the ground behind me.
This wasn't going to last long. There was another building close by and I threw the next grenade into it. The searchlight from one helicopter caught me and I was suddenly running faster than I ever had before, a spray of bullets making a path in the dirt directly behind where I was running. It didn't matter. A few more seconds and the ground units were going to be there. One last grenade. One for Terran.
A low rumble in the ground and then suddenly a tremor strong enough to make me stumble. I blinked in confusion and then there was a god almighty explosion from the small building that I had tossed the grenade into. The fire plume cut off the second helicopter from its line of sight to me and then ground shook harder again this time. There was a manhole about twenty feet from me and the cover suddenly flew into the air, fire licking it from underneath. Gas main, I thought suddenly. Holy fucking shit. The devil must truly love his own because somehow I managed to toast the building that had a direct pipeline into their gas lines. The gas was burning and this whole place was about to go.
Stay or go.
Stay and let it all end once and for all.
Go and face...whatever was left.
Stay.
Or go.