Disclaimer: Suikoden II belongs to Konami. Curses! This story is based off of the alternate ending where Nanami dies. And yes, I am a Nanami fan!
A Brief Glimmer
There are thousands of stars in the heavens. To us they are mere spots of light in the night sky, but in truth each star has its own unique glow. I have known many Stars in my lifetime and I regret to say that I have not noticed the brilliance of them all. One Star in particular caught my attention from the very beginning, but I fear that I did not fully appreciate it until the light was gone forever. There have been many Stars in skies of the past and many Stars will follow in the sky of tomorrow. I fear that none will ever match up to this Star, however. None can compare to her unique shine…
I first met this Star in the unlikeliest of places. Lord Gorudo, Miklotov, and myself were gathered in the Jowston Pass to begin a meeting. Lord Gorudo was in a rather foul mood that day and it turned no better when he bumped into a young girl. I did not know this at first; I was rather preoccupied with my own thoughts. It was her voice that first told me of her presence. It was a strong voice that commanded the attention of the listener. Although the voice was angry, I could still hear a cheerful ring through the harsh words.
"Hey! Why don't you watch where you're going?"
"Out of my way, girl!" grunted Lord Gorudo, and rudely pushed past her. Miklotov continued walking so I took it upon myself to apologize to her. I bowed to her and observed her physique. She had short brown hair held in place by a red band. Her eyes shone with energy and under the mask of anger on her face I could detect unbridled joy. Her apparel consisted of light blue baggy pants and a pink shirt. It was my first encounter with this girl (was she a girl? She seemed to possess youth and maturity at the same time) and yet I felt an unexplainable connection with her. There were two young men with her, both of whom appeared to be about sixteen years of age.
"Please pardon Lord Gorudo, my lady. He was merely over-excited." Her face turned bright red and she offered me a weak smile.
"I-it's no big deal." I smiled pleasantly. Miklotov must have noticed my absence for he came up to me and tapped me on the shoulder.
"What do you think you're doing?"
"I was merely doing my duty as a knight," I explained patiently.
"It is also a knight's duty to be on time. Come along." I made a face. Miklotov was an old friend of mine but sometimes he could be too bossy for his own good. My eyebrow twitched in annoyance. Since when were you my mother? I wanted to say. Instead I focused my attention on the young lady.
"Excuse me, my lady, but I must be going." I followed Miklotov to our position, but I walked slower than usual. I could hear her speaking to her two male companions.
"Did you guys hear? He called me a 'lady'!" I could hear delight in that declaration, along with surprise. I smiled to myself. It was rather satisfying to give someone happiness, even if that person was one of whom I was not well acquainted.
I did not give the girl much more than a thought consciously, though sometimes I found myself thinking of her quite often in my dreams. This boggled my mind more than anything. Why was I dreaming of a young lady I hardly knew? I did not consult Miklotov on this unexplainable phenomenon; he would not understand. Of course I hardly understood myself what was happening. I had a strong urge-- again, I cannot explain why-- to see her again. I knew little, if nothing, about this girl and had only spoken to her for a few seconds, and yet… There was something about her, I suppose. There was something about this girl that I could not detect in any other person, and it was this something that left an impression on me.
Luca Blight was waging war with the whole world. Miklotov and myself knew that we would soon have to fight him; Lord Gorudo was less aware of our situation. It came to pass one day that Miklotov was growing rather impatient with Lord Gorudo's reluctance. My good friend was determined to go to Muse and see what Luca was up to. And he scolds me for thinking irrationally! Honestly! I was desperately trying to stop him from doing such a foolish act when Lord Riou and several of his companions appeared.
"Yikes!" one female squeaked. "Looks like we walked into the wrong room!" I recognized her apparel to be that of a trickster. Standing close to her was none other than the girl I had met before. The moment I rested my eyes on her, my heart did a strange little jump. What was that? I thought.
"Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to come here," she noted. My mind was now on its own; I lost control of my actions.
"It is a pleasure to see you again, my lady."
"Oh, hi," she greeted, her cheeks turning red again.
"Camus!" cried Miklotov, turning my attention back to the crisis at hand. "I don't care what you say. I have to go now! We can't sit here and let Luca kill so many innocent people!"
"Miklotov…" I paused and stared at my long-time friend. I saw in his eyes that he was determined to do this. I could not stop him, so I held up my hands in surrender. "Do what you must." He thanked me and went on his way. I turned to Lord Riou and his companions. My eyes desperately searched for the young lady. I felt much calmer while staring into her bright eyes. "Please, I beg of you to watch over him. I cannot leave."
"We'll help," said Lord Riou. He motioned for his group to follow him. They turned to depart and suddenly I did not want to be alone. Throwing all common sense and logic to the wind, I called out:
"My lady!" The girl I had called turned and gave me a quizzical look. I paused, at a loss for words. "Please, my lady… I know now is not the proper time, but I would much like to know your name."
"Nanami!" she chirped.
"A pleasure to meet you, Lady Nanami. I am Sir Camus Randalf." She smiled brightly.
"Nice to meet you. I gotta go now. 'Bye!" She waved and hurriedly joined her friends. I smiled and watched her form disappear from view.
To shorten the story a bit, Miklotov and I relinquished our posts and joined Lord Riou's army. Lord Gorudo was simply not worth tolerating any longer. That and he ordered me to dispose of Miklotov, which was something I simply could not do. Of course, there was another reason for me to join Lord Riou, but that one I kept to myself. Miklotov would never let me hear the end of it if I told him.
Ah, now it comes time in my tale to explain how I became to care for Lady Nanami in a completely different fashion. I fear that at the time I was unaware of the way I felt towards her, but now I can say that I was drawn by her… uniqueness, for lack of a better term. Alas, my vocabulary cannot begin to give her justice! There is also the old saying that "opposites attract" that could easily explain away my sudden interest in the young lady. We are indeed opposites: she is over energetic and I am much more reserved. But I digress in my tale.
Not to boast, but I believe that Lord Riou's army fared better after Miklotov and I joined the growing entourage. I must say that Lord Riou had very unusual people in his army. Some were famous, such as General Ridley of the Kobolt Army or the brilliant strategist Shu. Others were… questionable, to say it politely. I will not mention them all, as that would take up far too much time, but among the more "questionable" ones were a young girl by the name of Millie whom owned a "hamster"-- that thing certainly did not look like a hamster-- and spoke to the thing as if it actually understood her; a man named Tetsu whom constantly insisted that I take a bath; Mukumuku, some sort of a flying squirrel that wore a cape; and… well, I could go on and on.
I come now to a painful part of my tale. I fear this portion is necessary, although even as I begin it I feel sorrow in my heart. Lord Riou, Lady Nanami, and several others were invading my old home. I felt no remorse for the siege and was actually rather glad that it was occurring. I was among those awaiting their return. I am unsure of what went on inside, but I do know we were all concerned when Lord Riou came out carrying Lady Nanami in his arms. Panic took over me and I pushed through the crowd.
"What has happened?" I demanded.
"Gorudo…," he muttered. That was all I needed to hear.
"Damn him!"
"We have to take her to see Huan at once!" decided Shu. Lord Riou seemed grateful that someone was keeping their head at this most unpleasant time. We made our way back to the castle. Most kept a respectful distance between themselves and Lord Riou. I, on the other hand, walked close beside him and kept my eyes on Lady Nanami. Whatever was to happen, I wanted to remember every detail about her.
We arrived at the castle and Lord Riou rested his sister in the infirmary. He and I at once stood at her bedside. He spoke no words and for that I was grateful, for I could not have mustered the will to speak. Huan quietly entered and asked us to leave. Lord Riou at once turned and vacated the room. I stood there still, as if I hadn't heard. Huan rested his hand on my shoulder.
"Camus?" I was deaf to his words. I pulled up a chair and sat down beside Lady Nanami. "Camus?" probed Huan.
"Please… allow me to stay," I begged.
"I'm sorry, but I can't do that."
"I must stay," I insisted. "Do not make me leave her." He smiled at me sadly and for a moment I hoped he would comply with my request.
"We are all concerned about her, but if you don't leave I can't work."
"But…"
"Camus, please leave now. If you value her life at all, you will do as I ask." This statement brought me out of shock. I took in a ragged sigh. I brought Lady Nanami's limp hand to my lips.
"Live, my lady. There are so many people that need you here." I leaned in closer and softly spoke words I never expected to hear from my own lips directed at a young girl eleven years my junior: "I need you here." I stood and reluctantly left Huan to perform his work.
It was a long wait.
A very long wait.
I did not sleep, nor eat, nor move.
At last Huan came out. We all crowded around him, our eyes begging him for news. Please say she lives.
"Shu, I need to see you." My hopes fell like an anchor. Shu complied with his request and entered the infirmary. It seemed we still had a while to wait.
It was a long wait.
At last we were again graced by the presence of Shu and Huan. The grim looks on their faces was enough to tell me of Lady Nanami's fate. Huan seemed more weary than before. He must have taken the loss hard because of his profession, but to us that knew her the blow would be excruciatingly painful.
"I'm sorry," sighed Huan mournfully. "I did what I could."
"No!" I shrieked, and to the bewilderment of all present-- including myself-- I pushed through the two men and went over to Lady Nanami's bedside. I fell to my knees and wept. "This can't be…" I could hear others weeping as well. This was indeed a hard blow to us. If I felt this way, I could only imagine how Lord Riou must have felt. I stared at Lady Nanami's pale face. It was so hard to believe that she would never smile again, that I would never see that glow in her eyes. Her Star had died away…
How very odd it is that we as humans do not fully appreciate one another until we are faced with the horrible yet true fact that we will lose the ones close to us some day. I did not appreciate Lady Nanami's glow until I saw it would soon be gone. It was in that moment that I realized I loved her. I do not mean simply the love of a friend; I mean love, a love that knows no boundaries. I only wish I had realized this while she still lived.
Every Star has a glow all its own, and to my eyes Lady Nanami's was the brightest of them all. It was a brief glimmer in the sky of time and yet I will never forget it. And some day, when my own Star dies, I will have the chance to tell her how I feel.
~End