Rapunzel SGC style
"Why do I have to be raised by the evil anise? The evil witch Anise is evil"
Duh!!!
"Am I having conversing with myself?"
No!
"Then who are you?"
The highly skilled narrator and I am here to tell you the story of Rapunzel.
"Hey, my name is Sam!"
Oh fine the story of Sampunzel!
"Much better!"
Good, now stop complaining and lets get back to the story! We're on stage you know.
"Oh, so that's why all those people are there"
Will you just shut up and let me get on with the story?
"oh, right sorry"
So you should be.
Ahem… Once upon a time, a long time ago..
"Excuse me?!? Do I look that old to you?
Kay, don't' get your nickers in a knot! Once upon a time, not that long ago in a land faraway…
"HELOOOOOO!! I am here not far away!!!"
Shut up or I'll fire you!! I am sure Janet wouldn't mind being the star.
"You can't fire me!!"
YES I CAN I AM THE ALL POWERFUL NARRATOR!!
"Does that mean that Janet would get to kiss Jack?
It's PRINCE JACK! And yes, she would.
"OK, I'll shut up now then!"
SO! Once upon a time, not that long ago, right here in this room, a poor couple were living in a tumbled down shack, They were Jacob and Jennifer.
"HEY! We're not that poor!!!"
"I get a NAME in this one!?!? YAY!!!!"
Yes you are and that is good for you NOW… Jennifer was pregnant and suddenly had a weird and scary craving for cabbages.
"EWWWWW GROSS!!!!!!!!! That is disgusting why would I want cabbages?? That's ugh!"
You are pregnant, pregnant women always want something weird! Trust me I'm the narrator!
"A very big headed one at that!"
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm! I could take your name out of the script and call you that lady!
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! PLEASE NO!"
FINE! SHUT UP!
"Kay! Grumpy Narrator! I am going for a nap wake me when the cabbages arrive"
Anyways, so It was very lucky, or just a cliché, that the Evil Witch Anise lived next door and grew lovely cabbages in her garden.
"Really?"
Yes really I am not saying it because I like to hear my own voice, all though I do, but if you would only look over your fence you would see them.
"ohhhhhhhhhhh that sounds good wait!"
and so the really thick Jacob went out and looked over his back fence.
"hey, I'm not that thick!"
looks like it to me, now hurry up and get the cabbages!
"ok, I'll just wander over and ask my neighbour if we can have some cabbages"
Helloooooooooo?!? Your neighbour is a witch, and an evil witch too!!! If you knock on the door she will turn you into a toad, which will be an improvement but I don't think your wife wants a toad for a husband!
"Oh, well I'll just go and tell Jennifer that she cant have any cabbages"