Deliver Me
By: Miss Fi
Disclamer: Nope don't own them (the characters) just got an active imagination.
Chapter 5
Several days passed and Xellos did not wake. Filia patiently and dutifully treated his wounds and kept watch for signs of improvement. During this time Filia was left with opportunity to ponder her own place in life and that of her race. Her mind was overflowing with conflicting ideas and information.
She had already learned that the truth in anything can be warped to suit one's own needs. The elders of her race had displayed that truth very effectively in their teachings of the ancient dragons. Truth was easily manufactured. She still ached over the fact that her people had committed the atrocity of genocide. Even Xellos hadn't gone as far as to obliterate her entire race when he could have. The slaughter committed by the monster had in fact been an act of war on orders by his superiors. While still a horrifying act, it was within the bounds of war, and not a personal act of racial prejudice. The truth of this fact was a bitter draught for Filia. Then there was the truth that her race regularly passed righteous judgment on others from a position of supposed wisdom. The Golden dragons were as flawed a people as any other, but they refused to acknowledge their failings. Who were they to decide the fates of others?
Next Filia considered the Darkstar prophesy they had fulfilled together. It seemed almost as though the Fire Dragon King had passed his own judgement on dragon kind. The dragons were the only race to suffer terrible losses. Their own foolishness had sealed their sentence. The deaths had been so unnecessary. Why had they so blindly chosen to die uselessly?
Then she remembered the final battle with Darkstar. The powers of the Gods and the Monsters together were required to succeed. This could have been an impossible situation if either she or Xellos had finally refused to work with the other. Together. Would any of her peers thrown aside their training and racial fears to work with the butcher of their race? In fact what monster would bother to actually cooperate with a dragon?
Was it possible that the constant connections between Xellos and herself were coincidences? It is true that in comparison to their peers each is definitely unique. In the normal flow of life, she and Xellos should never have even had reason to cross paths. Something kept snaring them both in the same plans. Was this why she was spared the fate of her race: because she was willing to think and act outside and beyond her training?
She wondered if Xellos had ever questioned why they kept ending up on the same path.
Now again they were drawn together when it shouldn't have even been a consideration. Mere knowledge of the other did not warrant a rescue mission, or even interest in the other's plights. Yet somehow she couldn't just ignore the situation. Her conscience wouldn't allow it, yet paradoxically it abhorred the same thing. These feelings left Filia confused at best, and constantly manifested themselves in the foolish behaviour she routinely displayed any more. She hardly remembered the intelligent, thoughtful, and caring person she had been before Xellos. Now she could hardly control herself from the basest of emotions. She was a priestess who had somehow lost her center and became spiritually unbalanced. How could she have allowed this state to develop?
Filia's own experiences and her heart told her that this time Xellos was in more trouble than he had ever been before, and that he would not be able to deal with it alone. She intuited that he did not have the emotional tools to deal with his situation. He had plenty of experience at crushing other people's lives, but had never been on the receiving end. Without help he was likely to be a danger to himself more than those around him. She knew that it would be a harrowing dip into the greasy blackness of his consciousness.
Filia had dealt with more guilt and pain than any should bear because of the untimely demise of her peers. She had felt the indecision of continuing on without guidance and the fear of being all alone in the world. She knew the doubts, anger, frustration, and betrayal intimately. Filia hoped that she could reach the thoughts of the Mazoku. Since realizing his uniqueness she was desperate to preserve him. Besides she couldn't bear the thought of more senseless death. She didn't know whether it was prophesy prodding her or her own feelings, but she knew it would be tragedy to lose the Mazoku now.
Groggily Xellos climbed into consciousness. The scent of jasmine and the playful tickle of a warm summer breeze greeted him. The sun warmed his face and the feather bed he lay in gently cradled him like a lover. Glancing around, he spotted that dragon girl quietly drowsing in a chair by the bed. Shocked he abruptly sat up only to sharply inhale in pain. Head swimming with raw pain he sagged back to the embrace of the bed. Filia awoke at the utterance of discomfort.
"Oh dear! You have mussed up your dressings. Just lie back and I'll fix them."
"Don't touch me dragon!" he ground out through clenched teeth. "Why am I here? What have you done?" he demanded in a cold tone.
"Humph! I have done nothing but rescue your sorry self from destruction!" Filia instantly huffed back at the Mazoku. Such disrespect and selfishness could only be expected from one such as him.
"Now! If you are quite through I will fix your bandages!"
"If you come a step closer I WILL kill you" he hissed evilly at the dragon. "Leave me…NOW."
"Fine…you…you pathetic excuse for a Mazoku! Heal yourself if you can!" Filia struck out with the most hurtful words she could think of at the moment. On a normal occasion they would have been laughable, and ammunition for more of Xellos' continuous mocking; but this time they elicited a response completely unexpected.
As if in defeat Xellos seemed to shrink in the bed as his ire evaporated, and his heartbreak took hold of him. "Just go please" he quietly said almost beseechingly.
Filia saw the man who held so much power appear as weak and uncertain as a kitten just for a glimpse before he turned his face away to glare stonily at the wall. Quietly she backed out of the room, concerned at the apparent weakness she had just witnessed.