A/N: Um, well, this is a continuation fic (a sequel, if you may) to an earlier fic of mine –"Dance Of The Stars". I think this can pretty much stand on its own, but maybe it'd be better (^^) if you read the prequel first. This is rather long, but please read anyway.=)
My second attempt at a mushy, wholly Seiftis pairing; so again, please be gentle. Oh, and the italicized phrases with * are flashbacks found at the prequel. Any comments are welcome, and, well, read on!
Disclaimer: Seifer, Quistis, Balamb, argh! – anything under Hyne's creation is property of Squaresoft. The plot with so many holes (as you'll soon find out) is mine.
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ShADoWdANcE
A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find out.
- George Moore
The Balamb docks was a lovely place that night, tranquil in a lulling kind of patten; the silence broken only by the swishing sound of lapping waves that beckoned seductively to the depths of an abysmal tapestry of blue and gray, and the sounds of night creatures going about their secret habits. The moon itself seemed to smile down from the skies, enveloping all of Hyne's creation in a blanket of its translucent aura. It was, in the strangest, inexplicable, and yet familiar kind of way, a night of magic.
Hidden beneath the shadows was the figure of a woman, sitting by the pier, looking up to the sky. Moonlight revealed that it was a most exquisite face, one of varying contrasts. The tilted chin spoke of defiance, the rosy yet weathered lips of grace, the wrinkled porcelain skin of frailty. The once golden strands of hair were now mixed with telltale silver, underlying dignity and regal bearing. But what stood out were her eyes. These were the eyes that defined the color blue, freezing and serene at both extremes. These were eyes that had seen and borne horrors; but these orbs were the only indication that the woman had been young once, and had laughed along with the recklessness of youth.
These were the eyes of a dreamer.
Quistis Trepe, the dreamer in question, sat with the ease of a cat, oblivious to any other creature who shared her favorite spot. Slowly, she stood up, albeit with some difficulty – her old age seeming to have caught up with her just then. When she finally got herself together, she rewarded herself by taking a deep breath and then letting it whoosh luxuriously out. Standing there, old and weary and proud, Quistis closed her eyes. Spreading her arms wide in front of her, she offered herself to the night and set her imagination free.
If only it could be like this always, Quistis thought. If only everything were this peaceful, just me and the stars, nothing else…
At that moment, a sudden blast of sea air unsettled everything, making her shiver. And, with it, came the melody of a long-forgotten song… violin weeping harmoniously with piano… a deeply treasured memory of a dance.
* Would you care to dance, Quisty? Aw, c'mon, Quisty, I didn't suddenly sprout another head, did I? Dance with me. *
Quistis smiled. Dance with me. How she longed to dance with him again and forget everything else. To feel those arms wrap protectively around her once more, those silent words that made her laugh. Instinctively, with a touch of girlish mischief, she narrowed her arms to a circle, as if she were dancing with an invisible body. Eyes still closed, she began humming the tune to the song they'd danced to years before, faltering on some of the notes but never stopping. Eventually, she took the plunge and went on dancing by herself.
She was instantly transported back in time and she was young once more, dancing with a blond man with a cat's green eyes and a smile that made her insides melt.
"Hmmm… hmmm…" she mumbled in synch with her memory. "La la... la..." It was a waltz, and she was dancing with a great dancer and a wonderful man.
* You've got yourself the best dancer of five continents here… *
But something wasn't right. Abruptly, she stopped, dropping her arms. She was back again to the present, the wonderful night and the soothing sound of waves. Sighing, she opened her eyes and looked out into the sea. It wasn't just that what she was doing was more than a little awkward; it was more than that. She was aching deep inside. She was, after all, only dancing with a memory. Only then did she realize that her cheeks were wet with tears.
Suddenly, she felt fury – long denied, unexpected fury, building inside of her, and she lashed out at the sea.
"It's no use!" she shouted with as much force as her age would let her, blaming the waters for a reason she didn't quite entirely understand herself. "I can't have him back!" Breathing hard, she went on, her voice dropping to a whisper and ragged with unshed tears. "Don't give me memories that are of no use to me! He's gone and left me, and - and I don't think he really cared for me… at all." That said, she crumpled to the ground and held her face in her hands, waiting for the sobs to start.
They weren't given a chance to fall. She was instantly aware of someone watching her from behind, a mere hint of subdued breathing evidence to her discovery, and she dropped her hands.
Not bothering to turn around, fists clenched at her sides, she bit out, "Can't you leave an old woman long enough for an embarrassing, not to mention intensely personal, outburst?!"
"Do you always dance by yourself?" came the amused reply. "I'm sorry if I've offended you, but I find it really hard to miss a very engaging show."
"Seifer?" Quistis whispered in disbelief, too stunned to look. But – but it can't be, she thought. And yet how can she fail to recognize that voice? She'd heard it constantly for the first nineteen years of her life, and she still heard it haunting her every night in her dreams. Wake up, Quisty, she berated herself, squeezing her eyes shut and opening them again. She still couldn't look.
"Turn around, Instructor. I can't see you too clearly with all that hair covering your face." When no response came, Seifer Almasy, sixty years old, sighed and made his way towards the woman who was obviously still in shock.
"Come here, Instructor. Let's talk," he said smoothly, gently helping Quistis to sit beside him by the pier.
Long moments passed and the two of them sat there, not talking, both studying anything except each other. Seifer could sense what Quistis was doing; she was closing her eyes for a few intervals and rubbing then awake, like some child who had just seen a horror movie. At these intervals, he felt this insane urge to say "Boo!" whenever she opened her eyes and see how she was going to react. He was busy contemplating this amusing thought when finally, he heard Quistis exhale and he braced himself for her questions. Hyne knew how she was going to react to him now that she was apparently convinced that it was he, Seifer Almasy, back from the grave. If her shock were any indication, then it was going to be a long interview.
He smiled. He just didn't mind one bit.
When she didn't immediately ask the barrage of questions he was expecting, he took the chance and looked at her, hesitant and eager at the same time. He got a full look and swiftly regretted his decision. She was looking at him, too, studying him in that way she'd always had. For a moment, he felt like a bug under a microscope and couldn't help cringing inwardly. He knew Quistis was not just looking at the surface, she was seeing through his soul. His black, empty soul.
What if she sees my fears and all the uncertainties that have kept me company all my life? he thought, panicked. What if she despises me for all of it?
He squashed all these thoughts the next moment. No, Quisty isn't like that. I know her. He lips set into a little rueful smile.
Quistis was dangerous, oftentimes cold, but he knew deep down that she was kind, gentle, and just. She wouldn't throw his past at him and dismiss him; she would listen and understand. That was why he came to her, and not to the others. That was why he lov – No. He shook his head vehemently at the thought. He was here for a reason, not dwell on suppressed emotions.
"Why are you shaking your head?" Her voice came to him, shaking him out of his reverie. "It is you, Seifer, isn't it?" she asked, a catch in her voice. She cleared her throat. "It's been a – a long time."
"What, no cries of surprise and nonsensical hysterics?" he said casually, placing a hand over his heart, eyes alight with mischief. "I'm wounded, Instructor. I would have thought I deserved a welcome far more than that."
Quistis bestowed upon him one of the beautiful, tremulous smiles he had always expected of her; only this time the smile was more precious with the wisdom and experience that came with it. "You haven't changed at all, Seifer. Still full of witticisms." She sighed. "Here we are, old and gray, and your tongue is as sharp as ever."
He looked at her and shared her smile. "Some things just never change, Instructor. You're still irritatingly enchanting." He cocked a brow. "Impulsive when no one's watching. And," he added, looking straight into her eyes, " you're still the dreamer I used to know."
Red-faced with embarrassment, Quistis turned her face away from him. "So you saw that, didn't you? It was rather rude of you, you know."
"Hmm… yes, I assume I was rather rude, as you so nicely put it."
Quistis couldn't believe it. "Assume? Assume, Seifer Almasy?!" She turned around to face him to give him a piece of her mind. "Why you – " She stopped, frustrated at the sight of him laughing quietly at her expense, " – argh!" She punched him on the shoulder.
"OW! Hey, old women aren't supposed to do that!" he exclaimed in a hurt tone, massaging his "injured" flesh.
She smiled sweetly. "And old men aren't supposed to be Peeping Toms."
Satisfied to learn that she didn't entirely despise him, he cordially offered her his hand. "Uh… truce?"
Quistis looked at him grudgingly, unsure whether to take it or just tackle him to the ground. "Honestly, Seifer… well… truce, then." Obviously, tackling him wouldn't work.
"Good."
"Fine." Silence. "So, why are you back, Seifer?" she hesitantly ventured. "They assumed you were dead; we never did hear a word from you after you left Garden. After your birthday." After we danced.
"They?" He raised his brows, trying his best to appear nonchalant. "What did you assume, Instructor?"
She was surprised at the question. "Me? Oh." Looking into the far distance, she continued. "I… never said anything to Squall and the others, but I don't think I've ever believed you to be dead. Just… gone, in some far away place." She waved her hand in the air and shrugged. "Away from Garden, from your posse. " Away from me, she thought with a sudden pang.
He gazed at her quizzically. "Why?"
"Well… why are you asking me all this, anyway?
"Nothing. Just curious."
"I suppose… I've never felt your spirit leave." She gave him a look. "Don't laugh, Seifer," she warned, then was surprised to see that he was actually quite serious. "I just thought that you were off in a long journey, met a nice girl, married and, well, settled down."
"Settled down? Now, why would you think that?" he muttered, his brows now creased into a frown.
"Well, what would you have me think, then? That you'd gone off and gotten yourself killed?" She shook her head theatrically. "Somehow I don't imagine that happening to the Great Almasy," she teased.
Seifer was silent for a moment. "No, of course not." He grinned, and searched her face. "What about you, Instructor? What have you been up to? Have you…are you, er – married?"
Quistis burst out laughing. She laughed so hard and so long that after a while Seifer began to get annoyed. When finally she stopped, she gazed at him and shook her head.
"What the hell does that mean? That you're not currently married; divorced; or no, you're just a widow now?" he asked in a stiff voice.
She sighed. "No, it means that I've never been married. Now will you please stop being annoyed?"
"Whatever you say, Instructor."
"I'm no longer your Instructor, Seifer," she pointed out. "I haven't been that for decades."
"I know."
"Then why?"
"Because I want to," he replied simply. And because I can't afford to call you by your real name. "You know what? I never really thought you'd get married."
At this, Quistis quirked a brow. "I see. And why is that, Mr. Almasy?"
"Well. You do believe in destiny, don't you, Instructor?" he inquired politely.
"Yes," she replied, feeling wary and curious as to where this was leading.
"Soulmates?"
She just grunted in reply.
"Eternal love?"
This time, she couldn't help blushing and nodded.
"There you go, then!" he remarked jovially, looking awfully pleased with himself.
"There you go – what, Seifer?" Quistis asked, exasperated.
Seifer sighed mockingly. "Instructor, Instructor. You don't actually believe that a dreamer such as yourself who believes in such nonsense will ever get to marry, do you?" His voice turned gentle. "You'd wait and wait for your knight to come and whisk you away to your happily-ever-after ending. You would not settle for less."
She was silent for a moment. Then the eyes she turned to him were suspiciously misty in the darkness. "Thank you, Seifer. I'm not really sure why, but I finally believe that I hadn't wasted my first years of being an Instructor to you, after all."
He grinned. "Anytime."
Once again, they launched back into companionable silence, both in awe at the beauty before them. Twinkling jewels in the sky were outdoing each other, each one seeming to wink brighter than the last. It seemed as if they were there solely for the purpose of being looked upon by a pair of old blondes who sat so closely to each other.
* See? There's Vega over there, and then there's Cygnus. *
"Seifer?" Quistis whispered, not wanting to intrude on the blessed silence they shared that was both surreal and familiar. "Vega's beautiful tonight. He even outshines Cygnus."
He took her words in, surprised. "You've learned well, Instructor. I see you've been studying them as well."
"Vega, bluish white, the fifth brightest star in the sky. Found in the small constellation Lyra, named after the lyre," she reported.
"It's the dance, " he answered mysteriously, eyes fixed on the nothingness and the radiance.
"I beg your pardon?"
"The stars, Quisty," he answered, unaware that he'd used her given name. "The dance of the stars. It's their show tonight, just like it was the day before I… left."
Quistis straightened her stance next to him, and he knew that the barrage was about to begin.
"Why are you here, Seifer?" she asked coolly. "Why come to me? Why – " He held out his hand, signaling her to stop.
"Don't get all worked up. One question one at a time." He paused, then took a deep breath. "I came to you," he started, unconsciously rubbing his hands together. "because I didn't think the others would welcome me back. I already owed all of you so much; after being accepted back into Garden, I left you all again." He closed his eyes. "I just – I can't face them and see hatred and revulsion on their faces. No," he said, shaking his head. "Not after all your kindness and generosity."
"And you actually think they'd do that?" Quistis asked, incredulous.
"Yes." Seifer opened his eyes and looked at her imploringly. "Yes, I did."
"I can't believe this," she muttered. "Do you have any idea what Matron felt when you left? She nearly died with worry and with crying her heart out. What about Raijin and Fujin?" What about me? she thought with some bitterness.
Seifer didn't answer. He had no idea what to say.
"Why me, then? You didn't think I'd hate you for leaving?"
At this, he smiled a secret smile. "Not you, Instructor. I was once your student; you wouldn't dare turn me away. You'll feel guilty." You're too good for that; I can see it in your eyes.
"So you came back after so many years, asking for repentance. But you're too much of a coward to even ask for their forgiveness personally," she stated. It wasn't a question. "And you're asking me to do it for you."
"That, and I came to say goodbye."
Quistis looked at him in astonishment. "WHAT?"
"I came to say goodbye," he repeated helpfully.
"B-But, what – why?" She stared at him pleadingly. "I don't understand!"
"I'm going away. Going as far away from Balamb as I can. And I don't think I'm coming back." Again.
"So what's the point in coming back? To say goodbye?" she raged, her voice shaking with an emotion she couldn't quite pinpoint. "Seifer, that is the most stupid excuse I've ever heard. Are you sure your head didn't hit anything hard while coming here?! And here I thought you had more imagination than that!"
"I – " he began, but the look on her face stopped him. He wanted to tell her that he was going away, this time, never to come back again. That his leaving many years ago proved futile because he wasn't able to leave his past behind him. That he was here right now braving her wrath because he wanted Squall and the others to forgive him. That he was here to make everything final, for them to forget about him once and for all.
He wanted to tell her all that and more. But he couldn't, not when she had shed tears for him earlier. Not while she was looking like that. Like he had just broken her heart.
"Blast it," he cursed softly. He took a deep breath for courage, praying that she would hear him. "Quisty," he whispered gruffly, his hand coming up to smooth the graying hair, "I came here just to see you. I never meant to let you see me before tomorrow, but… you cried… "
She blinked, dazed with surprise for a second. Finally, she found her voice. "Oh, Seifer." She gave him a lopsided smile, her heart nearing its bursting, realizing all her dreams at that perfect moment, not even looking for explanations, only that he cared enough to say all that to her... there was hope, after all. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Shyly, she caressed the scar that marred Seifer's cheek. "I waited and waited for you, you know, waited here at this same spot for years, yearning… but I never believed you would come back for me. I never thought…"
He crushed her to him, feeling like he never wanted to let her go. "Shhh," he murmured. "I've never regretted anything more in my life than leaving you after that night. I wish I could take everything back, but I can't, Quisty. I only wish right now that it's not too late for you to take me back. I love you, Instructor. Quistis. And I'm not leaving...any more. I can't," he whispered against her hair, his heart aching with the realization that he had never meant any other words more in his life.
"Seifer… you do know I love you," she whispered back. "Don't go away again. I won't let you," she vowed.
"No," he promised. "Never again."
With that, the pair stood up and danced beneath the shadows, their love for each other stronger in their old age. It was a sight that was hidden from mortal eyes, a sight only for the burning masses that danced strange patterns in the sky. Magic.
One could swear that somewhere in the far horizon where the black of the sea met the nothingness of the sky, a sound was to be heard that achingly resembled a siren's song…
"Have you ever been kissed, Instructor?" Seifer asked, his voice laced with dry irony.
… Of violin weeping harmoniously with piano.
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A/N: Ah, so there you go, the end of this fic. I'll leave you guys to imagine the kiss Seifer'll give Quistis, since I don't have much experience with writing intricate things like that, but please remember that there will indeed be a kiss, just that I can't be bothered to write about it or else ruin the fic, if it isn't already ruined by the sudden changes of mood!
Whew! So, uh, did that make sense? ^^
Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed reading this feeble attempt at a great pairing. Abrupt ending, wasn't it? * rubs sleepy eyes * I rather think I'll take a break from writing mush for a while; it's way too exhausting, ne?
Till next time, all. ^_^ zzzzzzzzz.....