I'm Not Going Insane: Chapter Two

Crawford sighed at the mess before him. He knelt down next to Schuldich, gathered him close.

"Crawford?"

"Hm."

"It's amazing……how silent you are…."

He pulled Schuldich upwards, up the long stairs. It wouldn't do Farfarello too much harm to wake up with a corpse. Schuldich leaned against him, and sighed.

"Missed you."

"I see." He made sure the door was locked on their way out. Straightjacket or no straightjacket, Crawford had no wish to lose Farfarello into the house. They walked past the living room. Schuldich could see Nagi, laying on the couch, under a blanket.

"He okay?"

"He'll wake up with as bad a headache as you have now. Maybe he'll handle the situation better next time because of it."

"Everything's a lesson for you."

Crawford didn't say anything, and focused on getting Schuldich to their bedroom. Schuldich turned and held him tightly, resting his forehead at Crawford's neck, in that space that seemed to be made for resting against. He sighed. He felt weak, and wasn't thinking too terribly hard. He allowed Crawford to guide him.

Crawford was a little too used to this. They entered the bedroom, and he lowered the rather limp Schuldich onto the bed. Schuldich was like a child now, a little dazed. There was no focus to his eyes. He looked like he'd been crying.

"Head still hurt?"

"Yeah…"

He sat behind Schuldich now, pulling him back lightly so that he was resting lightly against him again, and started to massage Schuldich's temples. Schuldich sighed through parted lips, and started to relax. He let his eyes close lightly. He allowed himself to be at rest against Crawford. Crawford really could be sweet for him, caring even. Only when no one was looking.

"I need to start keeping you away from Farfarello."

More silence. Crawford worked Schuldich's temples without further comment. Their room was neat. The bed was made. The comforter on it was light blue, and their sheets were white. Everything was well taken care of. That's the way Crawford was.

"I love you." Schuldich murmured softly, at ease now against Crawford. He let out a content sigh, for a while, he forgot why he was so hysterical earlier.

In a calm, simple tone, Crawford answered. "You told me you hated me."

Schuldich got tense again. "I…was upset."

Crawford didn't stop kneading his temples, after a moment, he pulled off Schuldich's headband and started to run his fingers through Schuldich's hair. He didn't make a comment. He was lavishing attention on Schuldich, and whenever Schuldich didn't think about it too hard, he felt wonderful. His head only a mild throb, disappearing against Crawford's touch.

"You going to hate me every time I go away for business?" Crawford swept some of his hair back, ran his fingers up and down, traveling in and out of his hair, massaging the nape of Schuldich's neck.

After a moment of incredible hesitation, Schuldich finally allows, "I don't know if I want to stay with you, if you don't love me back."

Crawford didn't stop massaging him. Schuldich felt calm, under Crawford's hand, he felt saved. Crawford finally stopped, and wrapped his arms around Schuldich, drawing him close so that he was resting entirely against him. Crawford's lips close to Schuldich's ear.

"Let me tell you something." Crawford's voice was soft, gentle. "Let me tell you something, you need to know."

Schuldich sighed. Crawford's voice was wonderful to him.

"I value you. You. You are a valuable member of this team, and really, without you, we'd be significantly less."

Schuldich snorted quietly, and almost answered.

"Be quiet. Let me finish." Crawford's voice was tougher now, but still had that undertone of gentleness. "You are intelligent, and you are ruthless. I can put you on a job, and it's going to god damn get done. It's not just your telepathy, but I'm not even going to pretend it's not valuable. And beyond the team, I value you. When we're alone, and you have that sick sense of humor. When we're alone, and you pry me away from my research. When we're in bed. I value you. There would be a definite absence without you. You are beautiful. Physically, you are beautiful. Your perfect red hair, your perfect green eyes. Your skin. Even your scars, are beautiful. I won't say that I can't get along without you. I won't say that I'd die without you. But I do appreciate you being here. I do appreciate you."

Crawford kissed Schuldich's shoulder gently.

"I appreciate you, I value you."

Schuldich was speechless.

"But if you ever try and leave me, I'll kill you." Crawford's soft, reasonable voice. "And I'll know. I'll know before you try." Another soft kiss. "I'll kill you." Crawford tightened his arms in an embrace. "Don't ever doubt that, Schuldich."

Schuldich sighed, and tilted his head back to rest on Crawford's shoulder. Crawford lifted one hand and slowly wrapped it around his throat. It was gentle. Crawford tilted his head to one side, and kissed his neck.

"Do you understand?"

A sigh. "Yes." Schuldich opened his eyes to a slit, looked up at the ceiling and relished the feeling of lips against his skin. "I suppose I have to settle for that."

-old story, new upload
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