Seven Year Slayer chapter 6
Story outline: Seven years is a long time to slay. Something's gotta change!
Timeline: Some months into an imaginary season 7; Spike is back with a soul; Willow learning to be a good witch; Giles in Sunnydale
Summary: The spell is already working
Spoilers: Rumors about season 7
Disclaimer: All ME, not me
"Spike? Hi! Can I come in?"
Dawn peeked around the door of Spike's basement. He sat slumped in a chair, staring at nothing. She was shocked at the way he looked. If she saw him on patrol, or in the Magic Box, he acted withdrawn, without all the talk and sarcasm, but fairly normal and together. Now his face looked ravaged, as if he had been up all night crying, like when he first came back.
It scared her, all this grown up emotion, but she went in. It wouldn't be right to walk away from a friend in need, even if that's what all these grownups did all the time. Because Spike wouldn't. He'd always help, no matter what it cost him.
"You look terrible, Spike! Anything I can do for you?"
"Why are you here, Nibblet? Don't think big sis would approve!"
"None of her business if I visit a friend in a free hour!"
"You sure I'm your friend, are you? Do you even have any idea of the things I've done?"
"Oh Spike, who cares? You've never done anything to me, and I know you never would. Anyway, I'm…"
Spike got up and poured himself a drink. He forced a tight smile at Dawn." You're sweet. You know how many sweet sixteen year olds I've killed?"
"Spike, I don't want to know. You were different then! You haven't done anything like hat for years."
"Buffy thought I wouldn't hurt her. She trusted me. And you know what happened? I…" He stopped himself just in time. Not PG material.
Dawn rolled her eyes. "I know that too. Xander told me, and Buffy explained what happened. She's a Slayer, right? You could never really hurt her, she's stronger than you!"
"It's not that simple."
"Why don't you make it that simple? Grownups always let themselves be stopped by making things more difficult than they really are."
Spike smiled, a real one this time. There was no arguing with Dawn. She thought he was okay, nobody could tell her different. "Well, Niblet, you have something on your mind? Say it already!"
Dawn sat down, face completely excited, even before she started talking. "We…I just discovered yesterday that I've gotten really strong! Almost as strong as Buffy. I don't know why, but I think I'm a Slayer, just like I wanted! Isn't that great?"
Spike looked surprised. She hadn't seen his face that animated in a long time. "Didn't see that coming! What did you do? A spell? And what does Buffy think? Won't make her happy!"
"Not everything is about Buffy! This is about me… I want to be a Slayer. A good one, like Buffy. Will you train me?"
"Me?"
"You could totally do it! You way more about fighting than Giles! I'll ask Anya if we can use the training room, while Buffy's working."
"I'll think about it, Nibblet."
**********
Spike was late, that evening. All the Scoobies were already there. He didn't know why exactly he bothered to show; it wasn't as if anyone had invited him. But the routine gave him comfort, like patrolling did.
"Hi Spike! " Dawn chirped happily. Some of the others waved or mumbled something. Buffy said nothing this time. Usually she said "Hello Spike" in this very even, impassive voice. He thought he actually preferred the silent treatment to that awful voice.
"Well, er, Spike, I'd better recapitulate, because we've already started," Giles started reluctantly. Recapping? For him? That was new!"
"Don't bother , Giles, I already told Spike!"
"When, exactly, did you tell Spike?" Buffy said in her disapproving Mom's voice. Not one of his favorites, either.
"Hey, I can drop by Spike's when I'm in school, so no big deal, okay?"
"Huh."
"Well, Spike, all the others have already given us the benefit of their thoughts. What did you think?"
This was becoming pretty peculiar. First the Watcher wanted to recap for his benefit; now he wanted his, Spike's, opinion? Downright eerie! "Apart from the fact that Watcher here is being all kind and thoughtful like? I'd be right suspicious. Something's going on. We find an Ascension Spell, it mentions a Slayer's replacement, suddenly Dawn's all Chosen and whatnot? Sounds like this spell is already working. Sounds like the Watcher and his pals don't get to choose the Sacrifice, but that Dawn's chosen herself!"
They were all looking at him with these gobsmacked expressions. Like he was their dog who'd started talking. The bloody Watcher even looked at him with respect. Something was different there. Something to keep an eye on.
"Impressive, Spike. That's just what Willow and I thought."
Xander got mad. "You already made your mind up? Why did you let us rack our brains this last hour?"
"One should always keep an open mind, Xander!"
"Shut up, guys," Buffy said. "Let me get the gist here. We don't do the spell, 'cause it's already started?"
"Right."
"And the participants choose themselves?"
"That seems to be the case, yes."
"Are you saying there is nothing I can do about Dawn "sacrificing" herself for me?"
"I don't know for certain, Buffy. There may be a way, but... you can't be unchosen either. Do you really want Dawn to be unchosen?"
"Of course! "
"Buffy! I'm happy! I'm going through with it."
Buffy stood up. "I can't deal with this. Not on top of everything else. I dreamt last night I was turning into a vampire and I….killed somebody…and my stomach feels like there's a lump of lead in there, and …" There were too many things she couldn't talk about with all of them here.
"I think you should take a night off from patrolling, Buffy, "Giles said gently. "Get some sleep. You look tired."
She sat down again. "I…yeah. Maybe it's just tiredness. I hope it was not a prophetic dream. Let's get back to these wonderful exciting scrolls."
Giles shot a look at Willow. "Er, Willow and I've been continuing our vampire-slayer discussion of last week, and, basically, the scrolls confirm most of our speculations."
"Are you kidding us, G-man? Like Buffy is destined to make with the vampires?"
"I'm afraid so, Xander. The bond between vampire and slayer is sealed by, er, sex and blood." Giles polished his spectacles. A certain sign of more embarrassing revelations to follow. "Mutual blood drinking is required. Needless to say, not enough to drain or turn the Slayer…"
There was a strangled sound from the direction of the ladder. By the time everyone had looked up, all that could be seen was a retreating back and a split-second impression of a wretched face.
The door slammed.
Buffy turned back to the table. "Okay, Giles, so you're saying –" when she was alerted by the quality of the silence.
She looked up and found all eyes on her. She felt a terrible sinking feeling in her stomach and the blood drained from her face. It was like a high school nightmare. All faces turned to her, judging, and finding her wanting.
Her friends found her wanting.
Buffy's brain had in no way processed why yet. Still the blood rushed back to her face and neck, leaving it burning and tingling. She opened her mouth, wanting to ask why, just as Dawn broke the accusing silence.
"For god's sake, Buffy, what does it take for you to show some feeling?"
Buffy saw Giles and Willow give little nods in agreement. Her face kept burning and burning. She turned to look from one to the other, wanting to say: "But it's me, Buffy, I'm the Slayer, I'm your friend, you can't judge me."
"Come on, Buffy," Willow said, "If you're not gonna go after him I will."
Buffy turned to Xander, expecting to get support from there. He wore the same look. "Look, Buffy, you know I hate the guy, but he's just so broken, and he was your boyfriend…"
They were sorry for Spike? And judging her? Not because of having slept with him, as she'd once feared, but for not showing compassion? Buffy couldn't speak. She got up to leave, compelled by their stares. She walked to the door like a puppet on a string, unable to withstand the pressure to go.
Once outside, with the door closed, she had to lean against a wall for support. She felt physically queasy from humiliation. It was worse than the most awful days in her old school, when she'd first discovered she was the Vampire Slayer.
She mentally shook herself out of it and went looking for Spike. Not in his basement. She tried the cemetery, his old crypt. No one there, no Clem. Abandoned and filthy. Willy's? Too dangerous for him now.
The Bronze? Not the best place for a good cry, but you never know.
It was quiet in the Bronze. Spike was sitting alone at the bar, head down, nursing a drink. Buffy went up to him and stood, waiting to be acknowledged. She felt more than heard his sigh. At last he turned his head and looked at her.
"Now what?"
"Everyone was worried about you. I wanted to see if I could help."
"She's worried, no less! Should the object of pity be all grateful now?"
"Are you alright, Spike?"
"No, of course I'm not sodding alright."
"You wanna go somewhere quiet? " Buffy asked.
Spike just looked at her.
"My house? " she elaborated. "Bring your bottle, and we'll drink and talk together."
"Yeah, and that'll end well; like me holding you while you throw up?"
"Come on!"
Resistance was futile. Spike picked up his bottle and followed the Slayer home.
When they went in the familiar front door on Revello Drive, Dawn was in the siting room, engrossed in a teen show. Spike followed Buffy upstairs. He made to walk into Buffy's old room, but she shook her head and said: "I moved to Mom's room. Time to leave behind the teenage decoration."
"New Kids On The Block poster dating you, right?" They shared a smile. Suddenly that made things uncomfortable again.
Buffy hung up her coat. Her hand moved to Spike's old black leather coat that was hanging next to it. She looked at Spike. He'd slumped down on the bed, bottle in hand, looking at his feet. What to do now? How to comfort a grown man? Would a good cry make them feel better, or worse? Buffy decided to just make it up as she went along. She sat down next to him. She put her arm around him and drew his head towards her shoulder. She heard an odd sound from Spike. He was laughing.
"Is this how girls comfort each other when they break up?"
"You're the most annoying, infuriating..!"
Almost immediately, the snarky humor left Spike again.
Buffy put her arms around Spike again, very firmly this time. "Shut up and cry. Or talk. I'm here to listen and comfort, so make use of it."
Spike rested his forehead on Buffy's shoulder, and breathed in her well-remembered scent. He felt an unexpected peace stealing over him.
She sat patiently on the bed, waiting for the crying bout, or whatever was going to happen. Spike grew heavier and heavier. She finally thought to check if he was asleep. He was.
So, men reacted to comforting more like babies, she thought, instead of crying like girls would. Interesting. She carefully put Spike down on the bed. He didn't wake up.
After some deliberation Buffy put on her sleeping T-shirt and crept in behind Spike. What the heck, she thought. Won't hurt. It was surprisingly easy to fall asleep like that, cuddled up to Spike.
*******
Buffy woke up in exquisite comfort, nose pressed against the smooth skin of …Spike's neck? She woke up a little more and disentangled her arms and legs from their position against and around Spike. What time was it? Shit, she was going to be late for work! Silently she padded around the room, collecting clothes, shoes and make-up. She noticed she'd even remembered to close the drapes last night. Imagine waking up to an armful of dust…
Should she leave a note? Buffy decided against it, having no idea what it should say. Spike ought to be perfectly capable of getting himself to his basement safely. Or he might still be here when she got back; vampires slept all day, didn't they.
Buffy threw a last look at the sleeping form on the bed. Spike's face in repose looked like that of an angel. Had this been a wise move? Compassion might sound like a good thing, but it couldn't it also be read as encouragement?
Spike heard Buffy shower and leave for work. He'd lain motionless for hours of mingled torment and bliss, after he'd woken up in the middle of the night enfolded in warm Buffy-arms. How to interpret this action of hers? Was this bringing home a mangy stray, or should he be hopeful? He'd once prided himself on being able to read her like book - only to discover he'd been wrong all along. She hadn't loved him. She said. Buffy'd never been big with the words: should he therefore trust her actions to express what she couldn't say? There were too many contradictions for his overburdened brain, and having a soul didn't help at all.
With a sigh he got up and showered. Time to risk the sunny day.
*********
"Giles?"
"Yes, Buffy?"
"Before I, um, went away last night: were you really talking about blood? Vampire and Slayer drinking each other's blood?"
"Yes, yes, that's correct. But, since you assured me Spike had never bitten you, I wasn't particularly worried." Giles started. "Buffy! Please don't tell me – "
"Well, like, not Bitten bitten, not in game face, but you know, in the heat of the moment…"
Looking at Giles' completely wigged face: "…with human teeth, okay, like you've never bitten someone while having s…"
"I really wish I didn't have to know al this," Giles said fervently. "And no, I haven't. Look, Buffy, can I at least be assured that you haven't ingested any of Spike's blood?"
Buffy's face said enough.
"Buffy, have you gone insane? Drinking vampire blood? Even if it's a drop at a time, it could be highly dangerous."
"It wasn't exactly drinking…"
"Ï don't want to hear how you did it. It was extremely foolish, and I simply can't believe you didn't think about what you were doing. For all I know, all exchange of bodily fluids with a vampire might be dangerous!" Giles started furiously cleaning his glasses.
"Hey, in that case I would have been a vampire long ago!"
"What!?"
"Spit, Giles, I meant spit! Angel and I kissed a lot! Geez!"
Giles' eyebrows were still raised. Buffy flapped her hand.
"Okay, okay, the other thing too."
"This was easier when you were sixteen. I could simply disapprove of this and tell your mother to ground you."
"Yeah, and that really worked!"
Buffy suddenly remembered something. "Giles, we always forget to mention Dracula. Did I ever tell you I drank his blood? And that was way more than any bite or scratch I gave Spike. And it only made me more powerful, more able to tap into my powers."
"That is precisely the effect the scrolls promise. After all, Slayer blood has a strengthening effect on Vampires."
"Could there still be a bond with Angel? If I drank his blood?"
"It's about sex and blood. Angel's out." Giles dabbed at his forehead with his hanky. "I feel more empathy with these historic Councils, trying to bury these bits of Slayer lore, than I ever could have imagined."
"So, I should not be looking for a nice human boyfriend, but a nice vampire boyfriend?"
Giles looked at Buffy, trying to assess her state of mind.
"Buffy, while I can sympathize with you on finding these matters profoundly disturbing, I must point out to you that it's no use your trying to pretend that your…liaison…with Spike never happened. As uneasy as it may make you, you and Spike have probably fulfilled the conditions stated in the scrolls for him to be the Slayer's Eternal Champion. Think also of how the spell already seems to be in place; Dawn being able to put herself forward as the sacrifice."
Buffy grasped at the one straw that seemed to be on offer.
"So it's about conscious volition! About a choice. If Dawn hadn't wanted it, she wouldn't have been the Sacrifice. Right?"
"Yees, " Giles drew out slowly. "That would be right."
"Therefore, if either Spike or me doesn't want this it won't happen."
"Correct in principle. Remember that the scroll mentions our innermost wishes? I hope you are completely sure on all levels about your feelings about Spike?"
"Can anyone ever be? " Buffy said, but she turned her face away from Giles when she said it.
*******
"Buffy?"
"Yeah?"
"How did it go with Spike last night? I looked in on you and saw you sleeping on the bed? You gonna be together again?"
"Please, Dawn, that was so not what this was about! Spike was so…down…it was about comfort, trying to be compassionate!"
"Why did he wig about drinking Slayer blood? He never bit you, did he?"
"Well, he did, sort of, not like a vampire bite, but…"
"Buffy – you mean….That is so gross! Ew! Is that why you looked so beat up all the time last year? And…Spike, on your birthday?"
"Yep, that was me. Not a great moment in my life, huh?"
"Now you're wigging me, Buffy. Is that what Slayers do? Beat up their lovers?"
Dawn saw tears silently slide down on her sister's cheeks, but she couldn't find it in her heart to offer comfort.