Seven Year Slayer Chapter 7
Story outline: Seven years is a long time to slay. Something's gotta change!
Timeline: Somewhere in an imaginary season 7; Spike is back with a soul; Willow learning to be a good witch; Giles in Sunnydale
Spoilers: Rumors about season 7
Summary: Buffy is channeling her inner counselor
Disclaimer: All ME
"Slayer". Delivered in the emotionless tone he used of late.
"Hey Spike! Good to see you. Hey, how about a little fun tonight?"
"Wha…"
"Let's split up for, say, quarter of an hour, and try to stake as many vamps as we can. Demons count as well. Loser pays for drinks!"
"What the hell are you so chipper about? Never seen you like this before?" Spike grumbled. Oh god, she wasn't in love, was she? Gotten laid? Please, no…
"Had a good day at my job, Dawn made dinner, the boots I wanted were on sale…No special reason!"
"Not in the mood for games, Slayer."
"You're never in the mood for anything anymore, Spike! Um…I didn't mean…"
Spike rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, know what you didn't mean."
Buffy sighed. "Did you notice I've changed?"
"What? You're all happy and quippy again you mean? Yeah, I noticed."
"No! I meant opening up, speaking my feelings, being forthright…"
Buffy saw his eyebrow rise. "You?! Sorry, love, least forthright woman I know. You keep it all inside, 'cause you're afraid of showing what you feel. Don't wanna be known, I guess."
"Hey! No need to get all snarky about it. I meant it as a compliment, you know. Not that you don't take honesty too far, or used to, but you're my role model here. "
Spike nearly fell in an open grave. Then he started laughing. Buffy didn't know what to make of it. She hadn't seen him laugh for the better part of a year, she guessed. No more funny, snarky Spike. All hurt and anguish, these days.
"You're the greatest!" he gasped. "That's a backhanded compliment if there ever was one!"
"I mean it! I'm a kinda counseling now, you know, and I started thinking who I knew who was perceptive about what people are really feeling, and I came up with you. Not that you have tact, but you do always know. Used to," she amended. "Or maybe you do, but since you hardly talk anymore…"
"Liked that too, did you? Never exactly gave that impression…"
Honesty, openness, show your feelings! Buffy recited to herself. She took a deep breath.
"Yes, I liked the talk and the snark and the attitude. You were a great enemy and a great " - Spike waited for the dreaded 'f' word – " …Slaying buddy. You were funny. I miss that."
That was out, Buffy thought, peeking at Spike, trying to judge the reception of the new Honest Perceptive Buffy.
"You know, Joan really liked Randy. She didn't mind the bumps and ridges."
"Yeah. Randy really liked Joan too. But we're not them, are we? We know who we re, and where we've been. Makes things complicated."
What else do you feel, Buffy? Can you say that? Do you miss it? Spike thought. I'd know it if she was getting any, wouldn't I? Vampire sense of smell, after all. Or would she know enough to clean up really thoroughly? Buffy couldn't guess at Spike's response. His face, that used to be her radar screen for every feeling and nuance, was carefully impassive.
"I really meant what I said about perceptive. Remember Willow? The accident with Dawn? If you hadn't sort of pointed it out to me, I would have left here there. I was just mad at her, I wasn't even thinking of her in terms of somebody needing to be rescued as well. But you did. That makes you more perceptive than me, and a pretty good person too. Even pre-soul!"
Spike was silent for a long time.
"Thanks," he said at last
"I miss seeing on your face all that you feel. I always knew where I was with you. It made me feel safe." She flashed on the emotions she'd seen on his face: Hate, lust, love, surrender, anguish, horror…
Spike swallowed and looked away from Buffy. It sure was working, all this openness. It scared him. He didn't want to feel all hopeful and adoring again all of a sudden. He tried to focus firmly on hopelessness and life-without-Buffy. Leaving Sunnydale as soon as he could. But he hadn't been able to so far, had he?
"Really determined to get it all out in one shot, are you? What's with this? You seeking 'closure'? Part of putting all that's happened with the Spike behind you once and for all?" Spike's voice dripped with sarcasm.
"I'm not done yet! " Buffy replied, and went on: "Um, you know, the other night? After the big sword fight?"
"Yeah, what about it?"
"I'm sorry I made you do something you didn't want to do. I didn't mean to make you feel worse."
Spike's throat felt all clogged up. Must be the pig's blood.
"It's okay, " he managed hoarsely. "Not as if you did it on purpose."
"No, no, of course not, it must have been a spell…"
"About that spell – did the Watcher find out anything about it?"
"No, not yet – he did look at me all funny, though, like he knew something…"
"Yeah, me too – you didn't tell him? Don't wanna be staked next time I drop by the Magic Shop!"
They shared a smile and walked to the other end of the cemetery in silence. Still, the atmosphere was different. A little lighter.
Buffy and Spike decided to call it a night.
"Thanks for slaying with me, Spike, makes all the difference having you along! " Buffy was determined to keep up the comrade-stuff, just to make patrolling with Spike more comfortable. Things hadn't really changed after the "sleepover'.
"No problem, Slayer, " Spike answered, without looking her in the eye.
"Spike, " she plowed on, "why don't you come on over for a video and popcorn? "
"Um, well, no thanks, Slayer. Got things to do."
Buffy played her trump card. "I know Dawn would like to see you!"
Spike looked up with surprise. "But… Slayer, she sees me every day while we're training! Surely that fills her need for my company?"
Buffy felt stunned. "Training? With you? Every day? I… I didn't know! How long has this been going on? " She began to get angry. "She should have told me! And you should have checked with me first! "
"But Giles is usually there, and Anya of course, even Willow sometimes. I reckoned you knew!" Spike felt a twinge of some emotion he couldn't place.
Buffy kicked at a clump of cemetery grass. "So everyone knew except me? Great, just great. Why keep the big sister in the loop? No, let's not, she might interfere. You're damn right I would interfere, I don't want Dawn trained that well!"
"Look, Buffy, I'm sorry! Dawn should have told you. You've every right tot be mad."
They walked on in a different kind of silence.
"Here's my exit, Slayer. See you tomorrow." Spike strode off.
When Buffy came home, Dawn and Janice were there, watching some teen movie. Buffy felt old and weary. She decided not to chew Dawn out, defy everyone's expectations of Bossy Buffy the Evil Sister. She'd check out the training session tomorrow after work.