Me, Them, and a Pikachu
By: Kacie
Summary: A tongue-in-cheek look at a crazy, twisted "Team Twerp" love triangle of sorts, in which Brock loves Misty, Misty loves Ash, and Ash is, er, in love with his pokemon. From Brock's POV.
Rating: PG
Categories: Humor, Angst, POV (yes, you read that right! Although this isn't "ha-ha" funny, it's my attempt at a far more humorous look at Pokemon unrequited love than most of these types fics, which tend to be quite angsty and melodramatic)
Notes: In addition to being a stand-alone, this is my prequel of sorts to my gymshipping fic "Just a Slight Change in Plans." If you're a gymshipper and you liked this fic, I highly recommend you read (and review!) it.
Ages: Misty is 15, Brock is 18, Ash is 13 (same ages as "Just a Slight Change in Plans")
*****
So, I'm Brock. That's me.
Then there's Misty, that temperamental redhead, and Ash, that dorky, young boy. They're my traveling partners. That's them.
And then there's an annoying, ugly, yellow rat, who follows us along squeaking "Pikachuuu! Chu, chu!"
You guessed it. That's Pikachu.
So, we're a strange, quirky little band of ruffians, the three, er four, of us. I remember joining up with them three years ago, in an attempt to "shape up" Ash Ketchum that would surely turn out to be in vain.
Well, the jury's still out on that one, I guess.
So, there's Ash and Misty. Ash is trying to be a Pokemon Master and kick that Gary kid's ass along the way. Good luck, I say. You'll need it.
Then there's Misty, a wild-child stick of a girl who just happens to be a gym leader and Water Pokemon Genius. She still acts bitter over that bike of hers that Ash broke apart three years ago.
I previously failed to mention that Misty's always angry at Ash, and Ash, that clueless and whiny boy, fights right back. It gets ugly, especially when Pikachu shocks 'em both. Score for the rodent, I say.
And me? I just cook. Oh, and I stare at pretty girls, too. Can't forget that. And occasionally, I even have real goals, like being a pokemon breeder.
But really, Misty and me, we're just fumbling along with this pathetic Ash kid, biding our time because we have no clue what we really want with our lives. Got a problem with that?
Our life, our trio, it's funny, you say? Well, to us it's normal. We love it this way, in the twisted, convoluted life of ours. I think we all secretly know Ash will never win the league (well, Misty, Pikachu, and me, at least) or even beat that Gary jerk, but hell, who cares? We've done so many cool things and met so many interesting people on these travels that I wouldn't leave it for the world.
Nope. And you'd better believe it, pal.
Yeah, so anyway, it probably wouldn't surprise you that twisted, weird little love triangles have emerged between the three of us along the way. We've been too close for far too long for this not to happen. I mean, I left for a time, but it still was inevitable. Right?
Wait, is it even a love triangle? Or is it a square? A decagon? No, it's just the strange ideas that pop up from a squinty boy like me, two crazy kids like them, and having an electric Pikachu that fries all our brains on a daily basis.
First, let me tell you about me.
I LIKE MISTY.
There, all right, I said it out loud. And yes, little boys and girls, I mean "like-like" in that special sort of way, where a man loves a woman and wants to have many babies with her.
Did I always like her "like that?" No, but hey, she was only 12 when I met her, and she was like a spontaneously combustible firecracker, ready to crack at every second. Okay, so she's still like that now. But it's not as bad, really. She's just...older. Oh, and she's prettier too. She's still a wisp of a woman, but she's a pretty one as that.
I think I'm a pretty calm guy.
(Yeah, I know, that's what we all say. Even Gary.)
But really, I really mean it. I mean, if I weren't calm, who would keep the peace between Ash and Misty? We'd all be dead by now! And, that's all well and good, but I don't want to date a woman who's as calm (well, okay, BORING) as me.
It's perfect, don't you see! I get her interesting personality, she gets my calm personality keeping her harnessed. If you think about it in terms of the laws of physics (well, okay, I haven't yet), it really sorta works!
And those other girls I'm always staring at? Yeah, they're pretty. I like pretty women. I really, really like them. But I just like looking at them. I swear. Beautiful and Boring is what most turn out to be. Sure, there were a few exceptions, like that Susie woman. She was just too old for me, though. Most of the girls I meet are boring! Misty's a pretty girl. Misty's not boring. See? It's all logical. The numbers agree.
There's just one little thing missing, that logic doesn't account for.
Misty doesn't agree.
Just a slight problem, right? Ha.
It's not that Misty doesn't like me. It just doesn't seem that she's ever even considered, you know, "like-liking" me. I'm the older brother. Cool, I guess? Well, not really.
See, Misty's got a thing for Ash.
Proof, you say? You want concrete proof? I admit it; she's never actually told me this. But I'm a pretty perceptive guy, right? Well, perceptive enough to know when my pretty little girl likes a goofy, naive little boy.
She's like the little schoolboy who teased the little schoolgirl in the school-yard to show her that he liked him. Only she's the older, bigger, and bossier one, so she gets to be the schoolboy. It's those fights that results, those crazy, stupid fights she picks with him.
Some would say that Misty's just bossy. Well, yeah. But, let's face it, folks. Does Misty fight with me? No. Point proven. And, you know, she fights with Ash over the stupidest little things. Like that damn bike. Misty has enough money to get another one, so why the hell would she care?
Because she wants to fight with Ash. It's the only way to connect to that goofy little bloke.
So, Misty's "in love" with a dorky boy younger than herself. Well, maybe she is a little immature for her age. At least, when she's with Ash. I think he encourages that.
And there are many other little things, like how she so-obviously cares for him even though they fight, how she looks longingly at his long, boyish lashes, and, you know, all that crap. But the fighting is the smoking gun. Yeah, it is. So, instead of elaborating, I think I'll talk about Ash.
Besides, thinking about Misty's crush just makes me want to go and spit at some dorky little pokemon. For me, that's pretty violent.
But if you were in my position, wouldn't you do the same?
Err, ahem. Sorry. So...Ash. He's a dork, a bloke, a loser. He's also the prime reason Misty and I are on this journey.
Really, though, he's kind of pathetic. He can't control his pokemon. He loses badly to most trainers. His rival, Gary, kicks his ass every time they battle. He's annoyingly happy. He's immature. He thinks he'll be league champion someday. Oh, have I mentioned that he's dense?
Don't get me wrong; I like the kid. Would I be following him around everywhere if I did? Still, those things; they just GET to me sometimes!
His density, though, isn't always such a bad thing. See, he hasn't got the faintest idea that Misty's crushing after him. Silly kid. If Misty were doing that to me, I'd be all over her with flowers, gifts, and kisses.
You're a moron, Ash Ketchum. A funny one, though.
See, he thinks of her as his sister. She's that sweet, dear older sister who teases him and fights with him but really does kind of like him in the end because she's his sister and she has to like him. Perfectly reasonable. But inherently wrong.
He doesn't care.
He's perfectly happy and content to go through life just being some girl's sister, without really wanting to be her boyfriend. Really, I don't agree. But that's just Ash. It's the way he is.
So, where does he fit into this stupid, crazy little machine of unrequited love?
Well, there's some things he does like. See, they're annoying, squeaky things that go "Pika!," "Bulba!," and "Squir!" Yeah, it's those pokemon that he claims he's priming for the league championship but are really and truly his best friends.
No, he doesn't "like-like" them. I KNEW you were going to ask that, you pervert.
Seriously, though, Misty and I could leave him, and I wonder if he'd notice sometimes. Well, he'd notice it was quieter. And that there was no good food to eat. But otherwise...nah. On the other hand, if those pokemon left, I don't even want to THINK about how sad that happy little boy would get.
See, he's happy because he likes his pokemon, and they, amazingly, like him back! And, for now at least, he seems to like that. You know, by the time I was 13, I'd already propositioned every girl in my hometown.
Ash is a weirdo. But I already told you that.
I wonder if Ash will ever "like-like" anyone. Humans, I mean. Maybe he's just, well, erm, slow. But maybe he's just obsessed, workaholic, never to settle down with a wife and kids and all of that.
I've got a bet with my dad on this one. I picked the latter.
So, you see how funny these things work out, don't you?
I like her. She likes him. He likes them. He's happy. We're sort of happy, and sort of sad.
It's a twisted little world the four of us inhabit, me, and them, and that sugar-high Pikachu.
Sometimes, I wonder if Ash will stop being Ash and come to like Misty in that ever-so-special way. Or maybe Misty will stop hopelessly pining after Ash, shake up, and discover me. I'd like that! Or, perhaps I'll meet some "pretty girl" in Nowhere Town who turns out to be cooler than Misty and run off with her forever.
Naah.
See, this is a crazy little world we all live in, but frankly, I love it. I wouldn't give up Misty, Ash, or even Pikachu for the world. Even if they fall for each other and leave me out...well, I still wouldn't give them up.
It's no wonder you all think we're pathetic!
For now, it's a crazy, totally static, goofy little love whatever. It's not too obvious day-to-day, but it's there. And it'll stay that way until something changes. That may never happen.
Aww, bummer.
And until then, it's just me, them, a Pikachu, and some other pokemon, all trav'lin along, all strangely in love, and all loving their journey despite these crazy "issues."
I mean, we're really all just kids, right? There's still time to have some fun!
END
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