Bish Hunters #1: The Slayers
****************************
Noriko: Hey everyone! This is the first in a series of fics called "Bish Hunters"!
Kai: I'm Noriko's little brother. I am Bishoujo Hunter Kai-kun!
Noriko: And I am Bishonen Hunter Noriko-chan!
Kai & Noriko: We are the Bish Hunters!!
Noriko: In these fics we travel to our favorite anime by means of...mysterious means...yeah...
Kai: -_-;;
Noriko: Am I forgetting anything, Kai-kun?
Kai: Uh...the disclaimer?
Noriko: ...OH YEAH!!! I don't usually do those...
Kai: Well you should...anyway, WE DON'T OWN SLAYERS!!!
Noriko: But I DO own the first ten episodes, tapes 5, 7, 8, Next tapes "The Forbidden Dance" and "Phantom City", and all the Try tapes but two...Sammi-chan has them all...
Kai: CURSE YOU SAMANTHA!! *coughs* Um...yeah. Anyway...
Kai & Noriko: If we owned the rights to Slayers we wouldn't be posting on FanFiction.Net, now would we?!
Noriko: On with the story!!
****************************
Guide to Japanese -- there's some Japanese used in this fic...this'll help ya if you don't know any!
~Ototo-chan - little brother
~Onee-san - big sister
~Gojushin-sama - Master
~Oka-san - mother
~Oto-san - father
~Baka - idiot
~Damare - shut up
~Odango - the Sailor Moon buns...except my hair is too short so I've only got the buns, no pigtails...
~Kuso - damn
~Hai - yes
~Iie/iya - no
~Nani - what
~Nani sore desu ka - what is that?
~Sore - that
~Ja ne/sayonara - see ya later/goodbye
~Gutei - foolish little brother
~Jajauma - bitch
****************************
Chapter One - The Claire Bible?! What A Discovery!
Noriko Sosaki thundered down the stairs, screaming, "OIIAA!! I'm late!" and waking up her brother Kai as well.
"NANI?! You're late?!" Kai slid down the banister, meeting his older sister at the landing. "Why didn't you wake me up?!"
"BECAUSE I JUST WOKE UP, YOU BAKA!" Noriko stopped in front of a mirror and hurriedly did her dark brown-auburn hair into odango. "Come on, Kai-kun!"
"Sheesh..." Kai grabbed his backpack and lunch. "Aren't you going to have breakfast? You have time for that." He looked at the clock. "Hey! We're not late at all!"
"No time!" Noriko grabbed her bag and her lunch as well. "I gotta go to the library! I woke up too late to go!"
Kai sighed and spread his hands. "Tenth graders..."
"Damare!" Noriko snapped, and she ran out the house. Kai followed her, having nothing else to do.
~~
They reached the library in a matter of minutes. Noriko kicked the doors open to the deserted library, and Kai followed, trying to make sure no one sued them for breaking down the doors.
"What did you need to come here for?"
"School," Noriko replied. "I need a book for today..." She wandered into the depths of the library. Soon, they were pretty much lost.
"O-Onee-san," Kai said somewhat nervously. "Do you know where we are?"
"The library, baka."
"I know THAT! But WHERE in the library?"
"The--the..." Noriko's eyes widened. "Kuso! We--we're lost!"
"No, really?"
Noriko sighed. Then a glimmer of soft blue light caught her eye in the dark, musty maze of bookshelves. "Nani? Nani sore desu ka?"
Kai was irritated. "What's what?"
"SORE!" Noriko pointed ahead.
"A glow-in-the-dark book?"
Noriko hit him over the head with her aluminum fan. "It is NOT a glow-in-the-dark book, Ototo-chan!" There were stars in Noriko's eyes. "It...it's a magical item!"
"A magical item?" Kai retorted. "Uh-huh, Noriko, what pills did you put in today?"
Noriko whacked her brother again. "Damare kuso! Just watch! The Bish Hunters are coming to be a reality!"
"Noriko, you baka! THE BISH HUNTERS ARE US! Are you saying we're not real?!"
"Well...considering the fact that we're in a written story..."
"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN AND YOU KNOW IT!!" Kai tried to calm down. "Besides...Bish Hunting can't be real because the bish from anime aren't real!"
"It is now!"
"You're delusional."
"Twenty bucks I'm right."
"You're on."
They walked over to where the soft, glowing light was coming from. Noriko picked up the book and stared at the title. "Why don't we make that thirty?"
"Okay, fine! What's it called?"
Noriko thrust the book at Kai. His eyes widened considerably. "The Claire Bible?!" And sure enough, the worn book was titled "The Complete Collection of the Claire Bible Manuscripts".
Noriko smirked. "Well, Ototo-chan, better start saving up your money..." She sat down on the carpeted floor.
"Whoa, wait a second," Kai said, sitting down next to her quickly. "What if it's just a joke?"
"What if it's not?" Noriko countered. "Come on, Kai...even if this doesn't take us anywhere, well..." A grin split her face and she started laughing.
"What's so funny?" Kai demanded.
"It's just that...if we read this, that means that WE'LL know the cure to Zel's body, and HE won't!!" Noriko collapsed in laughter and fell backwards.
"Ooi! Watch the book!" Kai cried. The book fell out of his sister's lap and it flipped open. And then all was engulfed in a bright blue light...
~~
Noriko opened her eyes drowsily. Where...where were they? The woods? Noriko sat up and rubbed her eyes, trying to get rid of the sleep from them.
It was dark. Nighttime. The book was nowhere to be found...she and her brother were sitting by a crackling fire. Noriko found that she and her brother were not dressed in their clothes from home. Noriko was wearing a curious outfit with many layers. Her curious outfit consisted of four baggy shirts on, one deep green and sleevless, one short-sleeved, colored a deep blue, one long-sleeved that was orange-red, and another long-sleeved shirt--this one goldenrod--that covered her hands like gloves with the fingers cut off, and it was accented by a loose, wine-colored sash that ran across her chest. She had at least three layers on the bottom half; a pair of tight-fitting black leggings that had the toes and heels cut off, a pair of slightly looser, sky-blue slacks that just barely reached her ankles, and a set of extremely baggy purple trousers that were secured by silken cords at her ankles. A black belt was buckled around her waist. Kai was dressed in the same peculiar outfit, but with different colors.
Kai was not awake. Noriko picked up a stick and repeatedly poked her brother with it.
"Oia! Kai-kun, wake up!"
Kai opened his eyes, blinked, did a double-take, and then opened his mouth to scream. Noriko pounced on him and clapped a hand to his mouth. "Stay quiet!" And then she slowly released him.
"Noriko-chan--" Kai turned to her, his eyes wide.
Noriko grinned. "Where's my thirty bucks?"
"Ah! So you're awake!"
Kai and Noriko jumped a mile. They spun around. Was that...Lina Inverse?!
"Lina?" Noriko asked disbelievingly.
Lina looked quizzically at her. "You know me?" Then she brightened. "Ah, so you've heard the tales of my beauty? My unmatched talent in sorcery? My wit and accomplishments?"
"No," Kai replied with a foolish grin, "but we HAVE heard of your temper, the bandits you murdered and robbed, and your incredibly bad case of PMS."
Lina looked furious. Noriko jumped up.
"D-don't mind Gutei-chan," she said quickly. "He--he's just recovering from shock." Noriko whacked him soundly on the head with her fan. "Baka!" she hissed. "Do you WANT to become fried Bishoujo Hunter a la Lina?!"
"Jajauma," Kai muttered.
"Who are you, anyway?" Lina asked them.
"We are Bish Hunters!" Noriko declared.
"...Come again...?"
"Is the rest of your oh-so-famous group with you, Lina-san?" Kai asked, adding on a little respect to make sure she didn't Fireball here.
"As a matter of fact, they are..." Lina eyed them suspiciously. "But they're not here right now." She paused. "What are your names?"
"I'm Noriko," said Kai's sister. "This is my little brother Kai."
"Nice to meetcha." Lina sat down.
"What are we doing here?" Kai asked.
"We found you two lying on the road," Lina answered. "What in name of L-Sama were two kids like you doing in the wilderness, sleeping on the ground?"
"Kids?" Noriko repeated. "Lina, I'm not a kid. I'm fifteen!"
"You?" Lina laughed. "Fifteen? But you're so short!"
"I'm fourteen," Kai added. Lina laughed harder.
"I wouldn't be talking, Lina," Noriko said rather coldly, pointing at the sorceress's bust. Lina stopped laughing and glared at her.
"Get some sleep, you two," she snapped. "Tomorrow we're going to visit some people."
"We?" Kai and Noriko asked in unison.
"You heard me. I don't know why, but Xellos--I'm sure you've heard of him--said we have to tag you along." Lina stood up and left the two alone.
The two siblings exchanged glances. "Well, you heard her," Kai said bluntly.
So they lay down to sleep.
****************************
Noriko: So, how d'you like it? You like it??? Great!
Kai: -_-;; Noriko-chan, you're talking to yourself again...
Noriko: Shaddup. *grins* Oh, Sammi-chan...yes, Xellos IS in this...HAHAH!! *laughs at the fact that Sammi isn't here to see her all-time favorite bishonen*
**Curses heard screaming from the distance**
Kai: ...I don't think that's even physically possible...
Noriko: o.o;; I think maybe it's time that we shut up...
Kai: Oh, yeah--just wait till next chapter, Samantha! *laughs**a very expensive glass vase is thrown at him**he ducks* o.o;; I think you're right, Onee-san...
****************************
Noriko: Hey everyone! This is the first in a series of fics called "Bish Hunters"!
Kai: I'm Noriko's little brother. I am Bishoujo Hunter Kai-kun!
Noriko: And I am Bishonen Hunter Noriko-chan!
Kai & Noriko: We are the Bish Hunters!!
Noriko: In these fics we travel to our favorite anime by means of...mysterious means...yeah...
Kai: -_-;;
Noriko: Am I forgetting anything, Kai-kun?
Kai: Uh...the disclaimer?
Noriko: ...OH YEAH!!! I don't usually do those...
Kai: Well you should...anyway, WE DON'T OWN SLAYERS!!!
Noriko: But I DO own the first ten episodes, tapes 5, 7, 8, Next tapes "The Forbidden Dance" and "Phantom City", and all the Try tapes but two...Sammi-chan has them all...
Kai: CURSE YOU SAMANTHA!! *coughs* Um...yeah. Anyway...
Kai & Noriko: If we owned the rights to Slayers we wouldn't be posting on FanFiction.Net, now would we?!
Noriko: On with the story!!
****************************
Guide to Japanese -- there's some Japanese used in this fic...this'll help ya if you don't know any!
~Ototo-chan - little brother
~Onee-san - big sister
~Gojushin-sama - Master
~Oka-san - mother
~Oto-san - father
~Baka - idiot
~Damare - shut up
~Odango - the Sailor Moon buns...except my hair is too short so I've only got the buns, no pigtails...
~Kuso - damn
~Hai - yes
~Iie/iya - no
~Nani - what
~Nani sore desu ka - what is that?
~Sore - that
~Ja ne/sayonara - see ya later/goodbye
~Gutei - foolish little brother
~Jajauma - bitch
****************************
Chapter One - The Claire Bible?! What A Discovery!
Noriko Sosaki thundered down the stairs, screaming, "OIIAA!! I'm late!" and waking up her brother Kai as well.
"NANI?! You're late?!" Kai slid down the banister, meeting his older sister at the landing. "Why didn't you wake me up?!"
"BECAUSE I JUST WOKE UP, YOU BAKA!" Noriko stopped in front of a mirror and hurriedly did her dark brown-auburn hair into odango. "Come on, Kai-kun!"
"Sheesh..." Kai grabbed his backpack and lunch. "Aren't you going to have breakfast? You have time for that." He looked at the clock. "Hey! We're not late at all!"
"No time!" Noriko grabbed her bag and her lunch as well. "I gotta go to the library! I woke up too late to go!"
Kai sighed and spread his hands. "Tenth graders..."
"Damare!" Noriko snapped, and she ran out the house. Kai followed her, having nothing else to do.
~~
They reached the library in a matter of minutes. Noriko kicked the doors open to the deserted library, and Kai followed, trying to make sure no one sued them for breaking down the doors.
"What did you need to come here for?"
"School," Noriko replied. "I need a book for today..." She wandered into the depths of the library. Soon, they were pretty much lost.
"O-Onee-san," Kai said somewhat nervously. "Do you know where we are?"
"The library, baka."
"I know THAT! But WHERE in the library?"
"The--the..." Noriko's eyes widened. "Kuso! We--we're lost!"
"No, really?"
Noriko sighed. Then a glimmer of soft blue light caught her eye in the dark, musty maze of bookshelves. "Nani? Nani sore desu ka?"
Kai was irritated. "What's what?"
"SORE!" Noriko pointed ahead.
"A glow-in-the-dark book?"
Noriko hit him over the head with her aluminum fan. "It is NOT a glow-in-the-dark book, Ototo-chan!" There were stars in Noriko's eyes. "It...it's a magical item!"
"A magical item?" Kai retorted. "Uh-huh, Noriko, what pills did you put in today?"
Noriko whacked her brother again. "Damare kuso! Just watch! The Bish Hunters are coming to be a reality!"
"Noriko, you baka! THE BISH HUNTERS ARE US! Are you saying we're not real?!"
"Well...considering the fact that we're in a written story..."
"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN AND YOU KNOW IT!!" Kai tried to calm down. "Besides...Bish Hunting can't be real because the bish from anime aren't real!"
"It is now!"
"You're delusional."
"Twenty bucks I'm right."
"You're on."
They walked over to where the soft, glowing light was coming from. Noriko picked up the book and stared at the title. "Why don't we make that thirty?"
"Okay, fine! What's it called?"
Noriko thrust the book at Kai. His eyes widened considerably. "The Claire Bible?!" And sure enough, the worn book was titled "The Complete Collection of the Claire Bible Manuscripts".
Noriko smirked. "Well, Ototo-chan, better start saving up your money..." She sat down on the carpeted floor.
"Whoa, wait a second," Kai said, sitting down next to her quickly. "What if it's just a joke?"
"What if it's not?" Noriko countered. "Come on, Kai...even if this doesn't take us anywhere, well..." A grin split her face and she started laughing.
"What's so funny?" Kai demanded.
"It's just that...if we read this, that means that WE'LL know the cure to Zel's body, and HE won't!!" Noriko collapsed in laughter and fell backwards.
"Ooi! Watch the book!" Kai cried. The book fell out of his sister's lap and it flipped open. And then all was engulfed in a bright blue light...
~~
Noriko opened her eyes drowsily. Where...where were they? The woods? Noriko sat up and rubbed her eyes, trying to get rid of the sleep from them.
It was dark. Nighttime. The book was nowhere to be found...she and her brother were sitting by a crackling fire. Noriko found that she and her brother were not dressed in their clothes from home. Noriko was wearing a curious outfit with many layers. Her curious outfit consisted of four baggy shirts on, one deep green and sleevless, one short-sleeved, colored a deep blue, one long-sleeved that was orange-red, and another long-sleeved shirt--this one goldenrod--that covered her hands like gloves with the fingers cut off, and it was accented by a loose, wine-colored sash that ran across her chest. She had at least three layers on the bottom half; a pair of tight-fitting black leggings that had the toes and heels cut off, a pair of slightly looser, sky-blue slacks that just barely reached her ankles, and a set of extremely baggy purple trousers that were secured by silken cords at her ankles. A black belt was buckled around her waist. Kai was dressed in the same peculiar outfit, but with different colors.
Kai was not awake. Noriko picked up a stick and repeatedly poked her brother with it.
"Oia! Kai-kun, wake up!"
Kai opened his eyes, blinked, did a double-take, and then opened his mouth to scream. Noriko pounced on him and clapped a hand to his mouth. "Stay quiet!" And then she slowly released him.
"Noriko-chan--" Kai turned to her, his eyes wide.
Noriko grinned. "Where's my thirty bucks?"
"Ah! So you're awake!"
Kai and Noriko jumped a mile. They spun around. Was that...Lina Inverse?!
"Lina?" Noriko asked disbelievingly.
Lina looked quizzically at her. "You know me?" Then she brightened. "Ah, so you've heard the tales of my beauty? My unmatched talent in sorcery? My wit and accomplishments?"
"No," Kai replied with a foolish grin, "but we HAVE heard of your temper, the bandits you murdered and robbed, and your incredibly bad case of PMS."
Lina looked furious. Noriko jumped up.
"D-don't mind Gutei-chan," she said quickly. "He--he's just recovering from shock." Noriko whacked him soundly on the head with her fan. "Baka!" she hissed. "Do you WANT to become fried Bishoujo Hunter a la Lina?!"
"Jajauma," Kai muttered.
"Who are you, anyway?" Lina asked them.
"We are Bish Hunters!" Noriko declared.
"...Come again...?"
"Is the rest of your oh-so-famous group with you, Lina-san?" Kai asked, adding on a little respect to make sure she didn't Fireball here.
"As a matter of fact, they are..." Lina eyed them suspiciously. "But they're not here right now." She paused. "What are your names?"
"I'm Noriko," said Kai's sister. "This is my little brother Kai."
"Nice to meetcha." Lina sat down.
"What are we doing here?" Kai asked.
"We found you two lying on the road," Lina answered. "What in name of L-Sama were two kids like you doing in the wilderness, sleeping on the ground?"
"Kids?" Noriko repeated. "Lina, I'm not a kid. I'm fifteen!"
"You?" Lina laughed. "Fifteen? But you're so short!"
"I'm fourteen," Kai added. Lina laughed harder.
"I wouldn't be talking, Lina," Noriko said rather coldly, pointing at the sorceress's bust. Lina stopped laughing and glared at her.
"Get some sleep, you two," she snapped. "Tomorrow we're going to visit some people."
"We?" Kai and Noriko asked in unison.
"You heard me. I don't know why, but Xellos--I'm sure you've heard of him--said we have to tag you along." Lina stood up and left the two alone.
The two siblings exchanged glances. "Well, you heard her," Kai said bluntly.
So they lay down to sleep.
****************************
Noriko: So, how d'you like it? You like it??? Great!
Kai: -_-;; Noriko-chan, you're talking to yourself again...
Noriko: Shaddup. *grins* Oh, Sammi-chan...yes, Xellos IS in this...HAHAH!! *laughs at the fact that Sammi isn't here to see her all-time favorite bishonen*
**Curses heard screaming from the distance**
Kai: ...I don't think that's even physically possible...
Noriko: o.o;; I think maybe it's time that we shut up...
Kai: Oh, yeah--just wait till next chapter, Samantha! *laughs**a very expensive glass vase is thrown at him**he ducks* o.o;; I think you're right, Onee-san...