Title: Networking, part 5: Pretty Flowers
Author: Am-Chau Yarkona
E-mail: grant@hagden169.fsnet.co.uk
Summary: The family are together again. All hell breaks loose, as normal.
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Spike/Giles (William/Rupert), Buffy/Clem/Angel
Spoilers: For most of seasons 3 and 6.
Warnings: Character death (but only in a happy way)
Author Notes: Any naughty picture produced by this fic are the product of your own imagination. I do not own copyright on them, nor do I want to see them. I'm quite happy with my own, thank you.
Story Notes:
Disclaimer: Not mine. Just playing in Joss' sandpit. With Buffy. And Spike and Giles on the swings. Get it? I'm dreaming!
Three women (in a loose, demon encompassing sense of the term) are sitting round in one of the Summers bedrooms, talking about men, boys and such like.
Anya: So Buffy went down to the cellar, and found Angel and Clem having sex, and they just invited her to join in?
Harmony: And she said yes. So now they're all hitched up, or so Willow told me.
Dru: Pretty witch say to me too. Angel and Clem all cuddled, with the Slayer as well. Lucky Daddy.
Harmony: You fancy Clem?
Dru: No, Slayer pretty. William all sparkly with little flowers.
Anya: Yeah, he does seem happy with Giles. I'm happy for both of them- Spike's good at keeping Giles out of my way in the Magic Box. he takes him into the basement for orgasms often.
Harmony: Funny he should end up happy with a guy, after all of us.
Dru: Not really. Daddy used to like William.
Harmony: Spike slept with Angel?
Dru: So? It was more the other way around, but Spike slept with you, after all.
Harmony: Meaning?
Anya: Meaning Spike'll sleep with anything that moves.
Dru: Yeah. Spike leaves his flowers on almost everyone.
Harmony: You can tell who he's slept with?
Dru: It's pretty. Flowers on Daddy, flowers on Grandmum, flowers on the Slayer, flowers on you two, flowers on the wrinkly one, even flowers on the gawky boy.
Anya: The gawky boy?
Harmony: Xander. He is it a bit ugly, isn't he?
Anya: He is not ugly! I'll have you know I nearly married him. Anyway- Spike slept with Xander?
Dru: In the dark, underground. Umm, nummy treat!
Cordelia: Can a dumped girl join you?
Anya: Of course. All demons girls, old and new, welcome here. Have you ever slept with Spike?
Cordelia: Spike? No way!
Harmony: Thank goodness somebody hasn't.
Cordelia: What do you maen? Masses of people haven't.
Harmony: Seems that's not so. I have, Dru has, Clem has, Anya has, Giles has, Angel has, Buffy has, Xander has, Darla."
Cordelia: Wait up a moment! Xander slept with Spike?
Harmony: So Dru says. I'd trust her.
Cordelia: Well, I wouldn't! Anyway, Angel and Spike?
Dru: They were nice together, never sure whether to fight or not. Punch! Kiss! Kick! Caress! Made a girl feel all tingly, it did.
Cordelia: That makes sense of the fight, in LA, just before we had to go out and ened that spell casting. I know what you mean about tingly, Dru.
Dru: Clever girl! Tell him what you want.
Cordelia: I'd be taking the first part as a compliment, but- tell who?
Dru: Ssh!
From downstairs come the sounds of an argument. the girls move quietly to the head of the stairs, listening.
Buffy:.so I make the rules, clear?
Clem: I'm clear.
Harmony wisphers "Boy, boy, girl- she's got the right idea," and is quickly hushed by the others.
Buffy: Rule one: A threesome is a threesome, and it stops there. No inviting anyone else to join in. That includes Spike and Cordelia, are we clear?
Cordelia makes a snort of disgust or general annoyance, which nearly covers double 'yes'es from the men (um, demons).
Buffy: Rule two: Don't start without me again. Rule three. umm, can we just skip the rules and have you kissing me again?
Angel: Yes.
From the top of the stairs, the girls find they can see the threesome through the archway if they lean far enough forwards and to the left. Angel is in front of Buffy, his long arms around her and resting on Clem's shoulders. Clem is occupied kissing Buffy's hair, his thumbs pushed into Angel's beltloops.
Buffy just starts kissing Angel in ernest, when Cordelia, who has pushed to the front, goes tumbling down the stairs, skirt flaring up in the process.
Buffy: What on earth?
She pulls away from her new-found lovers and goes to help Cordelia up.
Cordelia: Thanks, Buffy.
Buffy: Are you okay? What happened?
Cordelia: I'm fine.
She looks up the stairs, to find that Harmony has disappered, leaving a grinning heap of Drusilla and Anya, wearing 'oops- face', to deal with the Wrath of Buffy.
Buffy: What happened?
Anya: We were, err.
She looks at Cordelia for help, but Cordy just blushes and looks away.
Anya: We were, just coming, too, err.
Dru: Pretty Daddy. Does he still taste nice, Slayer?
Buffy: You were watching us?
Dru: Yes. Pretty flowers everywhere.
Buffy sighs, and turns to Angel, who is looking from Dru, to Cordy, to Buffy, and round again. Up, left, right. Up, left, right, as if he doesn't know what to think.
Buffy: Angel?
A pause.
Clem: Angel?
Angel: I'm sorry. I can't- oh, no!
He is looking at the back of the sitting room. The other three who are downstairs stare, and Drusilla comes to join them. Anya goes in search of Lorne, unnoticed.
The two who have just entered keep talking.
Darla: Thank you, William. I.. needed that. Are you sure Rupert won't.?
William: He'll quite understand, I'm sure. Oh, hello folks.
Dru: More pretty flowers on William!
Angel: Oh, God, no!
He rolls his eyes upwards, as if imploring help from the heavens.
Angel: Spare me more blonds!
Clem: Hey, not blond here! Bald!
Buffy: I'm not really blond anymore either.
Dru: And I never was.
Angel: What I meant was. oh, hell!
Buffy: You've done that once. What did you mean?
Heinriech: I suspect Angelus may fear he's not up to the task.
Heinreich has followed Spike and Darla in. They all turn to stare at him, except for Cordelia, who slips out into the kitchen.
Heinreich: What say we share the task, boy? I'm sure I could help you staisfy the Slayer, here.
He winks at her.
Buffy: I thought Alice's souling spell was meant to improve you.
Heinreich: No, it differs slightly. It restores one to almost one's human self, only changed by the memories you have aquired over the years.
Buffy: Well, damn Alice and her tasks, I'm going to stake you for that comment.
She takes a stake out of her pocket, and marches over to him. One quick thrust, and poof! No Heinriech.
The collected vampires look shocked for a moment, but then applaud along with the rest. Only Angel stays silent.
William: Hey, Angelus. You're the one who didn't like the guy to begin with. What's up?
Angel: You wouldn't understand.
He walks out, and they hear his footsteps going up the stairs, slow and heavy.
Buffy: Clem, I think maybe we should go after him.
Dru: Yes. Look after Daddy.
Darla: For once, you're right, girl. I think he needs some looking after.
William (calling after the retreating figures): Don't be too nice to him, though!
Darla: That wasn't very kind of you.
William: Just reassuring him that everything's normal, that's all. He'd panic if I started being nice to him.
Darla: I guess I should go and talk to Cordelia nw, while there's a gap. Thanks again.
William: Any time. Accumulating ideas about scrolls and such comes with the terriotory, you know.
Darla: I can guess.
She leaves, heading after Cordelia.
Dru: You talk to Grandmum?
William: Yeah. She was asking about her son and such.
Dru: You got pretty flowers round you? From talking?
William: Pretty flowers?
Dru: Like Buffy and Daddy make with the bald one.
William: Oh! That kind of pretty flower. No, me and Rupert made pretty flowers. Darla came in, but Rupert was asleep, so I answered her questions as best I could. Okay?
Dru: Yeah. I go find Willow now. I want my pleasures.
William: You do that.
She wanders out, stopping to admire the fresh flowers someone has placed on the coffee table. Spike flops into and armchair and watches her go, musing on what the others must think, if they understood Dru's comments about 'pretty flowers' at all.
Behind him, Giles enters.
Rupert: William?
William (turning in his seat): Hello, love.
Rupert: Are you okay?
He perches on the arm of the chair.
William: Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Just.Dru still bespells me, sometimes.
Rupert: I know what you mean. Ethan does it to me.
William: Hang overs from our glory days, huh?
Rupert: In a very literal sense, yes.
William smiles, and the glassly look fades from his eyes.
Rupert: What did Darla want?
William: Oh, some stuff about what the Nyazinan scrolls say, what they might mean. Follow ups from what Alice said, really.
Rupert: Right. I was half afraid she might want something you couldn't give her.
William: Like what?
There is a sharp tone in his voice that makes Rupert frown.
Rupert: Something you didn't know, that's all. What's the matter?
William (smiling again): Oh, just that I thinks ome of the others might have got the wrong idea. When Darla and I came in, Dru was here, and she said something about seeing 'pretty flowers' on me. Given the looks I got, I think they might not have realised the flowers were yours.
Rupert: What do you mean? Flowers? Mine?
William: Um, well, when someone's had sex, Dru sees what she calls 'pretty flowers' on them. She sees all sorts of things- fish, flowers, the occassional dog- and if you know what they mean you can tell stuff about the person she sees them on.
Rupert: Ah, I see. So the others may well be under the impression that you had sex with Darla?
William: Um, yes. In short.
Rupert grins a little more wickedly than is normal on a Watcher (with the possible exepction of Quetin Travers in a silly mood).
Rupert: Something in me wants to exploit that.
William: You're not suggesting.
Rupert: I am.
Author: Am-Chau Yarkona
E-mail: grant@hagden169.fsnet.co.uk
Summary: The family are together again. All hell breaks loose, as normal.
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Spike/Giles (William/Rupert), Buffy/Clem/Angel
Spoilers: For most of seasons 3 and 6.
Warnings: Character death (but only in a happy way)
Author Notes: Any naughty picture produced by this fic are the product of your own imagination. I do not own copyright on them, nor do I want to see them. I'm quite happy with my own, thank you.
Story Notes:
Disclaimer: Not mine. Just playing in Joss' sandpit. With Buffy. And Spike and Giles on the swings. Get it? I'm dreaming!
Three women (in a loose, demon encompassing sense of the term) are sitting round in one of the Summers bedrooms, talking about men, boys and such like.
Anya: So Buffy went down to the cellar, and found Angel and Clem having sex, and they just invited her to join in?
Harmony: And she said yes. So now they're all hitched up, or so Willow told me.
Dru: Pretty witch say to me too. Angel and Clem all cuddled, with the Slayer as well. Lucky Daddy.
Harmony: You fancy Clem?
Dru: No, Slayer pretty. William all sparkly with little flowers.
Anya: Yeah, he does seem happy with Giles. I'm happy for both of them- Spike's good at keeping Giles out of my way in the Magic Box. he takes him into the basement for orgasms often.
Harmony: Funny he should end up happy with a guy, after all of us.
Dru: Not really. Daddy used to like William.
Harmony: Spike slept with Angel?
Dru: So? It was more the other way around, but Spike slept with you, after all.
Harmony: Meaning?
Anya: Meaning Spike'll sleep with anything that moves.
Dru: Yeah. Spike leaves his flowers on almost everyone.
Harmony: You can tell who he's slept with?
Dru: It's pretty. Flowers on Daddy, flowers on Grandmum, flowers on the Slayer, flowers on you two, flowers on the wrinkly one, even flowers on the gawky boy.
Anya: The gawky boy?
Harmony: Xander. He is it a bit ugly, isn't he?
Anya: He is not ugly! I'll have you know I nearly married him. Anyway- Spike slept with Xander?
Dru: In the dark, underground. Umm, nummy treat!
Cordelia: Can a dumped girl join you?
Anya: Of course. All demons girls, old and new, welcome here. Have you ever slept with Spike?
Cordelia: Spike? No way!
Harmony: Thank goodness somebody hasn't.
Cordelia: What do you maen? Masses of people haven't.
Harmony: Seems that's not so. I have, Dru has, Clem has, Anya has, Giles has, Angel has, Buffy has, Xander has, Darla."
Cordelia: Wait up a moment! Xander slept with Spike?
Harmony: So Dru says. I'd trust her.
Cordelia: Well, I wouldn't! Anyway, Angel and Spike?
Dru: They were nice together, never sure whether to fight or not. Punch! Kiss! Kick! Caress! Made a girl feel all tingly, it did.
Cordelia: That makes sense of the fight, in LA, just before we had to go out and ened that spell casting. I know what you mean about tingly, Dru.
Dru: Clever girl! Tell him what you want.
Cordelia: I'd be taking the first part as a compliment, but- tell who?
Dru: Ssh!
From downstairs come the sounds of an argument. the girls move quietly to the head of the stairs, listening.
Buffy:.so I make the rules, clear?
Clem: I'm clear.
Harmony wisphers "Boy, boy, girl- she's got the right idea," and is quickly hushed by the others.
Buffy: Rule one: A threesome is a threesome, and it stops there. No inviting anyone else to join in. That includes Spike and Cordelia, are we clear?
Cordelia makes a snort of disgust or general annoyance, which nearly covers double 'yes'es from the men (um, demons).
Buffy: Rule two: Don't start without me again. Rule three. umm, can we just skip the rules and have you kissing me again?
Angel: Yes.
From the top of the stairs, the girls find they can see the threesome through the archway if they lean far enough forwards and to the left. Angel is in front of Buffy, his long arms around her and resting on Clem's shoulders. Clem is occupied kissing Buffy's hair, his thumbs pushed into Angel's beltloops.
Buffy just starts kissing Angel in ernest, when Cordelia, who has pushed to the front, goes tumbling down the stairs, skirt flaring up in the process.
Buffy: What on earth?
She pulls away from her new-found lovers and goes to help Cordelia up.
Cordelia: Thanks, Buffy.
Buffy: Are you okay? What happened?
Cordelia: I'm fine.
She looks up the stairs, to find that Harmony has disappered, leaving a grinning heap of Drusilla and Anya, wearing 'oops- face', to deal with the Wrath of Buffy.
Buffy: What happened?
Anya: We were, err.
She looks at Cordelia for help, but Cordy just blushes and looks away.
Anya: We were, just coming, too, err.
Dru: Pretty Daddy. Does he still taste nice, Slayer?
Buffy: You were watching us?
Dru: Yes. Pretty flowers everywhere.
Buffy sighs, and turns to Angel, who is looking from Dru, to Cordy, to Buffy, and round again. Up, left, right. Up, left, right, as if he doesn't know what to think.
Buffy: Angel?
A pause.
Clem: Angel?
Angel: I'm sorry. I can't- oh, no!
He is looking at the back of the sitting room. The other three who are downstairs stare, and Drusilla comes to join them. Anya goes in search of Lorne, unnoticed.
The two who have just entered keep talking.
Darla: Thank you, William. I.. needed that. Are you sure Rupert won't.?
William: He'll quite understand, I'm sure. Oh, hello folks.
Dru: More pretty flowers on William!
Angel: Oh, God, no!
He rolls his eyes upwards, as if imploring help from the heavens.
Angel: Spare me more blonds!
Clem: Hey, not blond here! Bald!
Buffy: I'm not really blond anymore either.
Dru: And I never was.
Angel: What I meant was. oh, hell!
Buffy: You've done that once. What did you mean?
Heinriech: I suspect Angelus may fear he's not up to the task.
Heinreich has followed Spike and Darla in. They all turn to stare at him, except for Cordelia, who slips out into the kitchen.
Heinreich: What say we share the task, boy? I'm sure I could help you staisfy the Slayer, here.
He winks at her.
Buffy: I thought Alice's souling spell was meant to improve you.
Heinreich: No, it differs slightly. It restores one to almost one's human self, only changed by the memories you have aquired over the years.
Buffy: Well, damn Alice and her tasks, I'm going to stake you for that comment.
She takes a stake out of her pocket, and marches over to him. One quick thrust, and poof! No Heinriech.
The collected vampires look shocked for a moment, but then applaud along with the rest. Only Angel stays silent.
William: Hey, Angelus. You're the one who didn't like the guy to begin with. What's up?
Angel: You wouldn't understand.
He walks out, and they hear his footsteps going up the stairs, slow and heavy.
Buffy: Clem, I think maybe we should go after him.
Dru: Yes. Look after Daddy.
Darla: For once, you're right, girl. I think he needs some looking after.
William (calling after the retreating figures): Don't be too nice to him, though!
Darla: That wasn't very kind of you.
William: Just reassuring him that everything's normal, that's all. He'd panic if I started being nice to him.
Darla: I guess I should go and talk to Cordelia nw, while there's a gap. Thanks again.
William: Any time. Accumulating ideas about scrolls and such comes with the terriotory, you know.
Darla: I can guess.
She leaves, heading after Cordelia.
Dru: You talk to Grandmum?
William: Yeah. She was asking about her son and such.
Dru: You got pretty flowers round you? From talking?
William: Pretty flowers?
Dru: Like Buffy and Daddy make with the bald one.
William: Oh! That kind of pretty flower. No, me and Rupert made pretty flowers. Darla came in, but Rupert was asleep, so I answered her questions as best I could. Okay?
Dru: Yeah. I go find Willow now. I want my pleasures.
William: You do that.
She wanders out, stopping to admire the fresh flowers someone has placed on the coffee table. Spike flops into and armchair and watches her go, musing on what the others must think, if they understood Dru's comments about 'pretty flowers' at all.
Behind him, Giles enters.
Rupert: William?
William (turning in his seat): Hello, love.
Rupert: Are you okay?
He perches on the arm of the chair.
William: Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Just.Dru still bespells me, sometimes.
Rupert: I know what you mean. Ethan does it to me.
William: Hang overs from our glory days, huh?
Rupert: In a very literal sense, yes.
William smiles, and the glassly look fades from his eyes.
Rupert: What did Darla want?
William: Oh, some stuff about what the Nyazinan scrolls say, what they might mean. Follow ups from what Alice said, really.
Rupert: Right. I was half afraid she might want something you couldn't give her.
William: Like what?
There is a sharp tone in his voice that makes Rupert frown.
Rupert: Something you didn't know, that's all. What's the matter?
William (smiling again): Oh, just that I thinks ome of the others might have got the wrong idea. When Darla and I came in, Dru was here, and she said something about seeing 'pretty flowers' on me. Given the looks I got, I think they might not have realised the flowers were yours.
Rupert: What do you mean? Flowers? Mine?
William: Um, well, when someone's had sex, Dru sees what she calls 'pretty flowers' on them. She sees all sorts of things- fish, flowers, the occassional dog- and if you know what they mean you can tell stuff about the person she sees them on.
Rupert: Ah, I see. So the others may well be under the impression that you had sex with Darla?
William: Um, yes. In short.
Rupert grins a little more wickedly than is normal on a Watcher (with the possible exepction of Quetin Travers in a silly mood).
Rupert: Something in me wants to exploit that.
William: You're not suggesting.
Rupert: I am.