Etwas Trigger: Chapter Six: The End of Time
Authour: GuinevereKoopa
Authour's Note: Well, Meo's been sorta burned out on this lately. Been havin' a rough time and all. So Guin's writing part six for her. On a sidenote I realize I probably shoulda summarized the Etwas characters for y'all.but hey. Something you probably should know though, Nome, the guy playing Magus, is Goyd's big brother. And Fluffy, that mantis thingy playing Spekkio? That's Nome's familiar. Though ya don't get to that whole thingy until later.y'know. Anyway. Part six covers, uh. The End of Time. Have fun. As for the whole "clockwise/counterclockwise thing"? XD; I did that when I played. Hence my idea for it.
They ended up somewhere strange. There was perpetual night in the sky, and three pillars of light in the square area into which they'd emerged. They'd come out of the one in the middle. They all stared around, trying to figure out what was going on.
"The gate took us someplace odd." Perlin said.
"Let's go find the nearest old man!" Goyd exclaimed.
Perlin blinked. "Uhm. Why, Marle?"
"Because old dudes are always all like wise and stuff! The nearest old guy can tell us where we are!" she explained.
Everyone stared at her.
"What? I thought it made sense."
Jsi noticed a path off to the side and pointed at it. The other three followed that line of sight, saw the path, and ran for it, leaving him behind. He blinked, suddenly realized that he was being left behind, and ran after them.
As they got off the huge square, and onto the path, they could hear somebody snoring. 'Life!' Jsi thought. Goyd, being the first one down, threw open the gate at the bottom of the pathway and ran over to the only source of light in the whole place.
It was a lamppost. There was the "old man" they'd been looking for, leaning up against it and sleeping. And I say that in quotes because he.wasn't really that old. He was a Wood Elf, dark skin and green hair, with a mustache, even. A green one. And he was wearing a long coat and a bowler hat.
Jsi recognized him immediately. He was Niftiness's army commander, Harlan Kirstoff. He decided not to bother with his mute outcry this time, though. Those got tiring. He walked over and tapped Harlan on the shoulder.
He awoke with a start, and then saw Jsi, Goyd, Mope, and Perlin standing there, all dressed as their separate characters, and said, "Ah! More guests."
"Uh. Where the heck are we?" Perlin asked.
"This is the End of Time, madam. All people lost while traversing time will end up here. Now, from where would you happen to be?" Jsi had never quite gotten used to Harlan's formal manner of speech.
Goyd piped up with, "Me, Lucca, and Crono are from 1000 AD."
Mope put in, "I'm from the future, yo."
Harlan shook his head. "You cannot be from the future, boy. We are in the future. The quite distant future."
"Uh. Then I'm from the past?"
"Of course you are from the past!"
"I'm from.the not so distant past?"
".Just tell me a year, would you?"
"2300 AD? Or was that 2400 AD? 2200, maybe? No, no I'm pretty sure it was 2300 AD."
".Uh. Ahem. When four beings step into a time warp, the Conservation of Time Theorem states that they shall turn up at the space-time co-ordinates of least resistance. That is here. Disturbances in space-time have been increasing as of late. Far too many people are ending up here." he explained. "I fear something may be having a powerful effect on the very fabric of time."
'I didn't understand a word of that.'
"So what you're saying is," Perlin began, "four people can't go through a Gate together."
He nodded. "That is precisely what I am saying." When in fact, nobody else even understood how the heck Perlin had gotten that out of what he'd said.
"So one of us would have to stay," she clarified. "Right?"
"Yes."
"One of us? Stay HERE? ALONE?!" Goyd exclaimed. "Not that I have a problem with that, but I forgot to bring my gun and anything to practice my aim with."
"It is pretty bleak here," Harlan agreed. "I can see why you would not wish to stay. But do not worry. All time periods connect here. You may visit your friends whenever you wish. You merely can never travel in groups greater than three."
"So one of us needs to stay. Thanks for the hella long speech," Mope said. "Ya coulda just said, 'Know what? One of you needs to stay.' And spared us all the technical details. You've wasted five minutes of my life!"
"You're a robot, dummy. You're not alive," Perlin told him.
He sniffled and turned his gaze to the ground, looking kind of forlorn. "You hate me."
Perlin sighed. Goyd interjected with, "Crono better not leave me behind again, or I'll kick his furry little otter tail!" Perlin and Mope blinked, and then looked at Jsi. Goyd continued, "So who ARE you leaving behind, Crono?"
Jsi looked at the three group members gathered before him. Mope was the one he wanted to take. Mope seemed to know what was going on and everything. But Goyd really would kick his ass if he left her behind, and he needed Perlin's mad shooting skills. So tentatively, he lifted his hand and pointed at Mope.
Mope sighed and looked at the ground again. "Please, come for me whenever you need me. I'll just be over there, feeling unloved, and crying my eyes out."
Jsi immediately felt bad for that, but he knew that women were a LOT worse than that when they were angry.
Harlan said, "Do not forget. Press the square button to switch between party members."
"How do we get back to our own time?" Goyd asked.
"Do you see those lovely pillars of light over there?" Harlan asked in return, pointing at the small platform from which the group had come. "Just use those. Once you have traveled through a gate, you can always use it to come here." He explained how to use the Gates from there. Stand inside the light and press the X button. He then pointed at the softly glowing bucket in the corner of the screen and said, "But be you wary of the Gate that leads from that bucket."
'So.the bucket is a DANGEROUS bucket?' Jsi thought. Surely the soft glow wasn't anything deadly. He walked over to the bucket and looked in. There was a gate in there. An open one. Didn't need a Gate Key to get through. He wondered briefly whether or not he should jump in just to see where it led.
As soon as he stood to jump in the bucket, Harlan shouted, "Imbecile! What did I just tell you?! Disobeying an order! Drop and give me fifty!"
Jsi blinked. 'Uh.well, he WAS a soldier.' he thought to himself. He turned back to Harlan and shook his head. No way he was going to do push- ups for some elf who wasn't even really a military commander anymore. Especially since he really sucked at doing push-ups.
"Are you defying me, soldier?" Harlan shouted.
Jsi blinked. Harlan looked kind of angry. Maybe it would've been a better idea to just do the push-ups.
"That is IT. Fifty just became one hundred. Drop."
Jsi took a step back, not realizing that he was standing right in front of the bucket, and.fell in. You can imagine what he found inside that bucket. So yeah, that was the first game over.
Then the group had to get back to the End of Time from the last save point, talk to Harlan again, and they finally got back to where Jsi had to pick a person. He picked Mope again, because he didn't want to risk the wrath of any women. Harlan warned them again about the bucket, and Jsi actually listened, and didn't walk over to jump in. That Lavos thing. That was just plain scary.
Harlan had nothing else to say after that. Jsi noticed a door at the back of the square, and he tried to open it, but it was locked, so they walked back up the path to the pillars of light. Out of nowhere they heard, "Hey." It was Harlan. They ran back down to talk to him again.
"Be you not in such a hurry," he said. "Before you venture off, take a look in the room behind me."
They walked back to the door Jsi had tried to open earlier, and it opened easily. 'What the. THIS WHOLE WORLD MAKES NO SENSE TO ME!' Jsi screamed in his head. Goyd and Perlin just walked past him into the room.
Inside the room was another square, but this one was devoid of anything except a really big preying mantis in the center. She was wearing a black collar with a nametag, too. Jsi walked over and looked at the nametag. "Fluffy," it read. He blinked. 'So THIS is Nome's pet mantis? Fluffy?' he thought.
She looked up at him and gave him what must have been a mantisian smile, but it looked rather threatening. She started making some chittering sounds that none of them could understand.
"Hang on a minute," Perlin said. "Let me go invent a translator." She ran out of the room. Goyd, Jsi, and Fluffy stood there for a while, waiting. Finally she ran back in, carrying a little box, which she placed next to Fluffy's feet. Er.a pair of them, anyway. "Okay, start over."
Fluffy tilted her head quizzically, but began over, anyway. "My name is Spekkio," the translator translated. "I'm the Master of War! I've seen all kinds of battles from here! How do I look to you guys?"
A window popped up. "Giant Preying Mantis" wasn't an option, so Jsi chose "Weak!".
Fluffy gave that smile again. "I see. Let's put it this way. If you're strong, I look strong. If you're weak, I look weak."
'Hey!' Jsi exclaimed. 'I'm insulted!' The fact that he'd insulted her first meant nothing, of course.
"You are strong of will.!" she said. "That's why the old one let you through. .Even though he's not really that old. But anyway. Long before you were born, there was a kingdom where magic flourished. Everyone could use it! Especially my master, he was really cool. You know how cool he is? He's so cool-"
"We don't care how cool he is," Goyd interrupted angrily. "Just get on with your damn speech."
"Uh. In time, people began to abuse their powers. My master didn't though! He was too cool for that! He was-"
"WE DON'T CARE!"
".You're mean. Uh.the abuse got so bad that no one was allowed to use magic except wizards. Like my master! He's a great wizard! He's really powerful! Do you know how cool he is? He-"
"DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU, MANTIS CHILD!" Goyd shouted, almost demonically. Fluffy looked at her fearfully, taking a step back.
"A-anyway. You have.determination. Magic needs the power of the heart. It needs inner strength. My master-"
"AUGH!" Goyd whacked Fluffy over the head with her crossbow.
Fluffy sat there and whined for a while. Jsi walked over and patted her head. 'It's okay, Fluffy. We all take such abuse from Goyd,' he thought, sympathetically.
When Fluffy finally recovered from that, she said, "Magic is divided into four types. Lightning, Water, Fire, and Shadow. You! The one with the badly dyed hair! You're originally water, but we made you lightning for the game! And you, the mean one! You're TOTALLY fire, but we made you water for the game! And you, the.bat.girl. You're originally Wind, but we made you fire for the game. Not just magic, but EVERYTHING is based on the balance of these four powers." She paused, and then looked between the three of them. "Now, think 'MAGIC' and, starting from the door, walk clockwise along the walls of my room three times. Don't lose track, now!"
'This is easy!' Jsi got up and started walking. He went from the door, around to the door, three times. Then he went and talked to Fluffy, but she fell down and said, "Hey! Don't cheat! I'm watching you!"
He blinked. 'I know I didn't cheat there.' So he went back and did the same thing again, and even went a fourth time for good measure. But again, Fluffy told him not to cheat. It was starting to annoy him. So he went, ran this time, came back, and Fluffy, AGAIN, told him not to cheat.
He was about to go back and do it yet again, when Goyd piped up, "Um, Crono? .You're going COUNTER-clockwise."
He stood there, frozen from the sheer depth of his stupidity. Goyd came over, grabbed his arm, and dragged him three times around the room, CLOCKWISE this time. They walked back to Fluffy and she said, "Very good! Ipso facto, meeny moe. MAGICO!"
And so Jsi learned how to use lightning magic, and Goyd how to use ice magic, and Perlin how to use fire magic. Hooray.
"So!" she said. "Fortified with magic! Wanna try it out?" And by that, she meant, "Wanna fight, punks?"
Jsi decided to take her up on the challenge. 'How hard can it be to beat FLUFFY?'
To make a short story shorter, she handed them their asses. And then she said, "Hah! You're weak! My master could beat you! He could beat you easy! Cuz he's cool! He's so cool! Do you know how cool he is?!"
They got up, crawled over to the HP/MP restore, and then went to talk to Harlan again.
He said, "People who lived long ago all enjoyed such powers. Now, I know you are all anxious to go running back and forth through time, but first you must return to your era. And you must make haste. The longer you remain here, the more difficult it shall be for you to change what must be changed. Come by whenever you are here." He glanced around the sparsely decorated square. A lamppost, a save point, a glowing dot, and a Bucket of Doom. "Not that.there is anything else to do here other than talk to me. Or battle Spekkio."
He had nothing else to say. So they ran around trying to find things to do before they went back home. They bugged Fluffy, fought her again, lost again (badly). Jsi tried to play with the bucket, but Harlan yelled at him again.
Finally they decided that there was nothing to do there but bug Harlan. Or bug Fluffy, but she was annoying. So they ran over to Harlan to bother him.
"So why's your hair green?" Goyd asked.
"Did I not tell you to go home?" he answered.
"No, really! You're supposed to be the old guy at the End of Time! Shouldn't your hair be white?"
"'Tis none of your concern what colour my hair may chance to be."
"And your mustache, that's green too! That's some dye, yo!"
"'Tis natural, you bloody-"
Jsi chose that moment to snag the bowler hat he was wearing. Harlan blinked, frozen in place, almost as if Jsi's audacity was shocking beyond words. It was a nice hat, if a bit odd in taste. Jsi turned it over in his hands, pondering it. Harlan snatched it back as soon as Jsi decided to try to try it on.
"Stop that, you bloody son of an otter!" he shouted as he replaced the hat over his wavy green hair. "You shall put holes in it if you try that. Now begone with you, before I-"
Jsi made a grab for the hat again. He'd forgotten two things. One, Harlan was a soldier. He was well versed in most forms of weapon usage, staff fighting included. And two, he was holding a cane. And so it was that Jsi ended up on his face on the ground, again, with a bloody nose, again. Goyd stood there and laughed at him.
'Bitch.' he muttered in his mind as he crawled to his knees, one hand over his bloody nose.
Perlin sighed, grabbed his arm, and dragged him up to the square where the gates were. Goyd followed. Harlan resumed sleeping against the lamppost, and Mope sighed. He was missing out on all the fun.
Authour: GuinevereKoopa
Authour's Note: Well, Meo's been sorta burned out on this lately. Been havin' a rough time and all. So Guin's writing part six for her. On a sidenote I realize I probably shoulda summarized the Etwas characters for y'all.but hey. Something you probably should know though, Nome, the guy playing Magus, is Goyd's big brother. And Fluffy, that mantis thingy playing Spekkio? That's Nome's familiar. Though ya don't get to that whole thingy until later.y'know. Anyway. Part six covers, uh. The End of Time. Have fun. As for the whole "clockwise/counterclockwise thing"? XD; I did that when I played. Hence my idea for it.
They ended up somewhere strange. There was perpetual night in the sky, and three pillars of light in the square area into which they'd emerged. They'd come out of the one in the middle. They all stared around, trying to figure out what was going on.
"The gate took us someplace odd." Perlin said.
"Let's go find the nearest old man!" Goyd exclaimed.
Perlin blinked. "Uhm. Why, Marle?"
"Because old dudes are always all like wise and stuff! The nearest old guy can tell us where we are!" she explained.
Everyone stared at her.
"What? I thought it made sense."
Jsi noticed a path off to the side and pointed at it. The other three followed that line of sight, saw the path, and ran for it, leaving him behind. He blinked, suddenly realized that he was being left behind, and ran after them.
As they got off the huge square, and onto the path, they could hear somebody snoring. 'Life!' Jsi thought. Goyd, being the first one down, threw open the gate at the bottom of the pathway and ran over to the only source of light in the whole place.
It was a lamppost. There was the "old man" they'd been looking for, leaning up against it and sleeping. And I say that in quotes because he.wasn't really that old. He was a Wood Elf, dark skin and green hair, with a mustache, even. A green one. And he was wearing a long coat and a bowler hat.
Jsi recognized him immediately. He was Niftiness's army commander, Harlan Kirstoff. He decided not to bother with his mute outcry this time, though. Those got tiring. He walked over and tapped Harlan on the shoulder.
He awoke with a start, and then saw Jsi, Goyd, Mope, and Perlin standing there, all dressed as their separate characters, and said, "Ah! More guests."
"Uh. Where the heck are we?" Perlin asked.
"This is the End of Time, madam. All people lost while traversing time will end up here. Now, from where would you happen to be?" Jsi had never quite gotten used to Harlan's formal manner of speech.
Goyd piped up with, "Me, Lucca, and Crono are from 1000 AD."
Mope put in, "I'm from the future, yo."
Harlan shook his head. "You cannot be from the future, boy. We are in the future. The quite distant future."
"Uh. Then I'm from the past?"
"Of course you are from the past!"
"I'm from.the not so distant past?"
".Just tell me a year, would you?"
"2300 AD? Or was that 2400 AD? 2200, maybe? No, no I'm pretty sure it was 2300 AD."
".Uh. Ahem. When four beings step into a time warp, the Conservation of Time Theorem states that they shall turn up at the space-time co-ordinates of least resistance. That is here. Disturbances in space-time have been increasing as of late. Far too many people are ending up here." he explained. "I fear something may be having a powerful effect on the very fabric of time."
'I didn't understand a word of that.'
"So what you're saying is," Perlin began, "four people can't go through a Gate together."
He nodded. "That is precisely what I am saying." When in fact, nobody else even understood how the heck Perlin had gotten that out of what he'd said.
"So one of us would have to stay," she clarified. "Right?"
"Yes."
"One of us? Stay HERE? ALONE?!" Goyd exclaimed. "Not that I have a problem with that, but I forgot to bring my gun and anything to practice my aim with."
"It is pretty bleak here," Harlan agreed. "I can see why you would not wish to stay. But do not worry. All time periods connect here. You may visit your friends whenever you wish. You merely can never travel in groups greater than three."
"So one of us needs to stay. Thanks for the hella long speech," Mope said. "Ya coulda just said, 'Know what? One of you needs to stay.' And spared us all the technical details. You've wasted five minutes of my life!"
"You're a robot, dummy. You're not alive," Perlin told him.
He sniffled and turned his gaze to the ground, looking kind of forlorn. "You hate me."
Perlin sighed. Goyd interjected with, "Crono better not leave me behind again, or I'll kick his furry little otter tail!" Perlin and Mope blinked, and then looked at Jsi. Goyd continued, "So who ARE you leaving behind, Crono?"
Jsi looked at the three group members gathered before him. Mope was the one he wanted to take. Mope seemed to know what was going on and everything. But Goyd really would kick his ass if he left her behind, and he needed Perlin's mad shooting skills. So tentatively, he lifted his hand and pointed at Mope.
Mope sighed and looked at the ground again. "Please, come for me whenever you need me. I'll just be over there, feeling unloved, and crying my eyes out."
Jsi immediately felt bad for that, but he knew that women were a LOT worse than that when they were angry.
Harlan said, "Do not forget. Press the square button to switch between party members."
"How do we get back to our own time?" Goyd asked.
"Do you see those lovely pillars of light over there?" Harlan asked in return, pointing at the small platform from which the group had come. "Just use those. Once you have traveled through a gate, you can always use it to come here." He explained how to use the Gates from there. Stand inside the light and press the X button. He then pointed at the softly glowing bucket in the corner of the screen and said, "But be you wary of the Gate that leads from that bucket."
'So.the bucket is a DANGEROUS bucket?' Jsi thought. Surely the soft glow wasn't anything deadly. He walked over to the bucket and looked in. There was a gate in there. An open one. Didn't need a Gate Key to get through. He wondered briefly whether or not he should jump in just to see where it led.
As soon as he stood to jump in the bucket, Harlan shouted, "Imbecile! What did I just tell you?! Disobeying an order! Drop and give me fifty!"
Jsi blinked. 'Uh.well, he WAS a soldier.' he thought to himself. He turned back to Harlan and shook his head. No way he was going to do push- ups for some elf who wasn't even really a military commander anymore. Especially since he really sucked at doing push-ups.
"Are you defying me, soldier?" Harlan shouted.
Jsi blinked. Harlan looked kind of angry. Maybe it would've been a better idea to just do the push-ups.
"That is IT. Fifty just became one hundred. Drop."
Jsi took a step back, not realizing that he was standing right in front of the bucket, and.fell in. You can imagine what he found inside that bucket. So yeah, that was the first game over.
Then the group had to get back to the End of Time from the last save point, talk to Harlan again, and they finally got back to where Jsi had to pick a person. He picked Mope again, because he didn't want to risk the wrath of any women. Harlan warned them again about the bucket, and Jsi actually listened, and didn't walk over to jump in. That Lavos thing. That was just plain scary.
Harlan had nothing else to say after that. Jsi noticed a door at the back of the square, and he tried to open it, but it was locked, so they walked back up the path to the pillars of light. Out of nowhere they heard, "Hey." It was Harlan. They ran back down to talk to him again.
"Be you not in such a hurry," he said. "Before you venture off, take a look in the room behind me."
They walked back to the door Jsi had tried to open earlier, and it opened easily. 'What the. THIS WHOLE WORLD MAKES NO SENSE TO ME!' Jsi screamed in his head. Goyd and Perlin just walked past him into the room.
Inside the room was another square, but this one was devoid of anything except a really big preying mantis in the center. She was wearing a black collar with a nametag, too. Jsi walked over and looked at the nametag. "Fluffy," it read. He blinked. 'So THIS is Nome's pet mantis? Fluffy?' he thought.
She looked up at him and gave him what must have been a mantisian smile, but it looked rather threatening. She started making some chittering sounds that none of them could understand.
"Hang on a minute," Perlin said. "Let me go invent a translator." She ran out of the room. Goyd, Jsi, and Fluffy stood there for a while, waiting. Finally she ran back in, carrying a little box, which she placed next to Fluffy's feet. Er.a pair of them, anyway. "Okay, start over."
Fluffy tilted her head quizzically, but began over, anyway. "My name is Spekkio," the translator translated. "I'm the Master of War! I've seen all kinds of battles from here! How do I look to you guys?"
A window popped up. "Giant Preying Mantis" wasn't an option, so Jsi chose "Weak!".
Fluffy gave that smile again. "I see. Let's put it this way. If you're strong, I look strong. If you're weak, I look weak."
'Hey!' Jsi exclaimed. 'I'm insulted!' The fact that he'd insulted her first meant nothing, of course.
"You are strong of will.!" she said. "That's why the old one let you through. .Even though he's not really that old. But anyway. Long before you were born, there was a kingdom where magic flourished. Everyone could use it! Especially my master, he was really cool. You know how cool he is? He's so cool-"
"We don't care how cool he is," Goyd interrupted angrily. "Just get on with your damn speech."
"Uh. In time, people began to abuse their powers. My master didn't though! He was too cool for that! He was-"
"WE DON'T CARE!"
".You're mean. Uh.the abuse got so bad that no one was allowed to use magic except wizards. Like my master! He's a great wizard! He's really powerful! Do you know how cool he is? He-"
"DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU, MANTIS CHILD!" Goyd shouted, almost demonically. Fluffy looked at her fearfully, taking a step back.
"A-anyway. You have.determination. Magic needs the power of the heart. It needs inner strength. My master-"
"AUGH!" Goyd whacked Fluffy over the head with her crossbow.
Fluffy sat there and whined for a while. Jsi walked over and patted her head. 'It's okay, Fluffy. We all take such abuse from Goyd,' he thought, sympathetically.
When Fluffy finally recovered from that, she said, "Magic is divided into four types. Lightning, Water, Fire, and Shadow. You! The one with the badly dyed hair! You're originally water, but we made you lightning for the game! And you, the mean one! You're TOTALLY fire, but we made you water for the game! And you, the.bat.girl. You're originally Wind, but we made you fire for the game. Not just magic, but EVERYTHING is based on the balance of these four powers." She paused, and then looked between the three of them. "Now, think 'MAGIC' and, starting from the door, walk clockwise along the walls of my room three times. Don't lose track, now!"
'This is easy!' Jsi got up and started walking. He went from the door, around to the door, three times. Then he went and talked to Fluffy, but she fell down and said, "Hey! Don't cheat! I'm watching you!"
He blinked. 'I know I didn't cheat there.' So he went back and did the same thing again, and even went a fourth time for good measure. But again, Fluffy told him not to cheat. It was starting to annoy him. So he went, ran this time, came back, and Fluffy, AGAIN, told him not to cheat.
He was about to go back and do it yet again, when Goyd piped up, "Um, Crono? .You're going COUNTER-clockwise."
He stood there, frozen from the sheer depth of his stupidity. Goyd came over, grabbed his arm, and dragged him three times around the room, CLOCKWISE this time. They walked back to Fluffy and she said, "Very good! Ipso facto, meeny moe. MAGICO!"
And so Jsi learned how to use lightning magic, and Goyd how to use ice magic, and Perlin how to use fire magic. Hooray.
"So!" she said. "Fortified with magic! Wanna try it out?" And by that, she meant, "Wanna fight, punks?"
Jsi decided to take her up on the challenge. 'How hard can it be to beat FLUFFY?'
To make a short story shorter, she handed them their asses. And then she said, "Hah! You're weak! My master could beat you! He could beat you easy! Cuz he's cool! He's so cool! Do you know how cool he is?!"
They got up, crawled over to the HP/MP restore, and then went to talk to Harlan again.
He said, "People who lived long ago all enjoyed such powers. Now, I know you are all anxious to go running back and forth through time, but first you must return to your era. And you must make haste. The longer you remain here, the more difficult it shall be for you to change what must be changed. Come by whenever you are here." He glanced around the sparsely decorated square. A lamppost, a save point, a glowing dot, and a Bucket of Doom. "Not that.there is anything else to do here other than talk to me. Or battle Spekkio."
He had nothing else to say. So they ran around trying to find things to do before they went back home. They bugged Fluffy, fought her again, lost again (badly). Jsi tried to play with the bucket, but Harlan yelled at him again.
Finally they decided that there was nothing to do there but bug Harlan. Or bug Fluffy, but she was annoying. So they ran over to Harlan to bother him.
"So why's your hair green?" Goyd asked.
"Did I not tell you to go home?" he answered.
"No, really! You're supposed to be the old guy at the End of Time! Shouldn't your hair be white?"
"'Tis none of your concern what colour my hair may chance to be."
"And your mustache, that's green too! That's some dye, yo!"
"'Tis natural, you bloody-"
Jsi chose that moment to snag the bowler hat he was wearing. Harlan blinked, frozen in place, almost as if Jsi's audacity was shocking beyond words. It was a nice hat, if a bit odd in taste. Jsi turned it over in his hands, pondering it. Harlan snatched it back as soon as Jsi decided to try to try it on.
"Stop that, you bloody son of an otter!" he shouted as he replaced the hat over his wavy green hair. "You shall put holes in it if you try that. Now begone with you, before I-"
Jsi made a grab for the hat again. He'd forgotten two things. One, Harlan was a soldier. He was well versed in most forms of weapon usage, staff fighting included. And two, he was holding a cane. And so it was that Jsi ended up on his face on the ground, again, with a bloody nose, again. Goyd stood there and laughed at him.
'Bitch.' he muttered in his mind as he crawled to his knees, one hand over his bloody nose.
Perlin sighed, grabbed his arm, and dragged him up to the square where the gates were. Goyd followed. Harlan resumed sleeping against the lamppost, and Mope sighed. He was missing out on all the fun.