Destiny's Way: Amended Page 314
Tenel Ka stood alone at the reception following the ceremony, or at least as alone as a monarch with a compliment of bodyguards could ever be. Her new robes felt strange on her shoulders, both wrong and right, as Master Skywalker's words echoed in her mind. People approached her cautiously, offering a bow and congratulations, and she nodded coolly, thanking them with a nod and the small smile she'd practiced for occasions of state.
She was aware of every person in the room, of fellow Jedi, their families, of minor and major politicians of the New Republic. Her two bodyguards stood discretely behind her, tall, beautiful women who were ever watchful against a threat to their queen. Tenel Ka found this perversely amusing. She was a Jedi Knight now. What need had she of bodyguards?
More than anything else, she was intimately aware of Jacen Solo standing near the middle of the room about 9 meters in front of her. They hadn't spoken yet. She'd arrived immediately before the ceremony, in time to get in line and walk onto the stage. She'd kept her official face on while arriving and waiting for the ceremony to begin, though her heart had jumped into her throat at the first sight of Jacen alive and in the flesh.
She wanted to run to him and hold him close against her body, feel his arms around her, hear his voice speaking her name. But she held herself back, though she wasn't quite sure why. She'd heard from informants on Mon Calamari the moment Jacen had appeared in the Yuuzhan Vong craft. She'd seen the stories on the holonet. She'd thought about contacting him, but she didn't know what she'd say. So she'd said nothing.
She sensed his approach and quickly calmed herself, building up a block to keep her emotions firmly private. She turned to face him and nodded slightly in welcome, extending her hand to forestall his hug. He came up short, eyes soft and questioning as he took her hand between both of his and pressed it tightly.
"Tenel Ka." She nodded again.
"Hello Jacen. It is good to see you alive."
"I heard about your mother. I'm sorry." Tenel Ka bowed her head in acknowledgement and thanks.
"The people of Hapes thank you for your kindness." Jacen blinked.
"Um. How are you?" He couldn't think of anything else to say to her. He barely recognized his old friend. She seemed the same strong, confidant young woman she'd always been, yet somehow diminished. It was as though he could see the burdens she carried, and though she held herself as straight as ever, she seemed tense and ill at ease.
"Fine, thank you. We have been trying to find a balance between participation in the war and keeping our people safe."
"You helped in the recent battle at Obroa-skai?"
"Yes. Some of our people have been unhappy with any participation at all, hoping that if we remain quiet within our borders the Yuuzhan Vong will leave us alone, but that notion is dangerously shortsighted. Still, our actions, such as those at Obroa-skai, remain cautious. We are eager not to repeat the disaster at Fondor."
"But what about you? How are you?"
"I..." She paused, struggling to keep her mind calm and contained. She heard her blood pounding behind her ears, and a sharp, hot pain in her gut. She forced her mind through a quick calming exercise. "I am to be married." Jason stood frozen for a long moment before stammering out a reply.
"Congratulations. Who's the lucky guy?"
"I do not know. A committee of my advisors has been working on the problem." His jaw dropped.
"But... a committee is choosing your husband?" She nodded, unable to meet his eyes. "What about your feelings?"
"My feelings are unimportant. This is a time of war, and the state demands that the monarch produce an heir. Should she be killed, a dozen houses would at each others' throats, and with the galaxy in its current state, such disarray would leave us vulnerable to attack."
"Do you know when the wedding will be?"
"No. It will likely be at least six weeks before our advisors can present the most likely candidates. A temporary heir has been named in the event that we are killed before a child is born." The silence grew between them until the conversations going on around them seemed to scream in their ears. "It has been good seeing you again," she began. "You are always welcome as a visitor to the consortium." She began to step backwards and away, her entire being focused on getting away from him and out of that room.
"Tenel Ka?" She paused.
"Yes, Jacen?"
"Are you happy?" A cold fist closed around her heart.
"My happiness is unimportant. Goodbye." Jacen stood unmoving for a time, her words echoing in his mind. He took a deep breath, and then went to find his sister. Jaina stood with her back against one of the room's side columns, a plate of food held out in front of her like a shield. He frowned by way of a greeting.
"I just had the strangest conversation with Tenel Ka. She seems so. unhappy." Jaina covered her face with a hand.
"You're an idiot, Jacen." He stared at her in surprise. "Are you totally blind?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." Jaina sighed.
"She's in love with you." Jacen felt his jaw hit the floor. "It's painfully obvious. And she's convinced herself that it's impossible for anything to come of it, just like she thinks being Queen Mother makes it impossible for her to be a real Jedi. I can't imagine this ceremony was easy for her." Jacen swallowed several times, turning to stare at the door where Tenel Ka and her guards had vanished. In love with him, he thought? Why wouldn't she have said something? They'd known each other for ages, even flirted some while at the academy together. She'd been his closest friend, though they'd only had a few occasions to see each other over the past months of the war. In love with him? He held his head in his hands, thinking desperately for a way to change the subject. He couldn't think about this now. There was too much else important to think about this now.
"I can't imagine this was easy for you either."
"If this is about what Uncle Luke said, I don't want to talk about it."
Tenel Ka stood alone at the reception following the ceremony, or at least as alone as a monarch with a compliment of bodyguards could ever be. Her new robes felt strange on her shoulders, both wrong and right, as Master Skywalker's words echoed in her mind. People approached her cautiously, offering a bow and congratulations, and she nodded coolly, thanking them with a nod and the small smile she'd practiced for occasions of state.
She was aware of every person in the room, of fellow Jedi, their families, of minor and major politicians of the New Republic. Her two bodyguards stood discretely behind her, tall, beautiful women who were ever watchful against a threat to their queen. Tenel Ka found this perversely amusing. She was a Jedi Knight now. What need had she of bodyguards?
More than anything else, she was intimately aware of Jacen Solo standing near the middle of the room about 9 meters in front of her. They hadn't spoken yet. She'd arrived immediately before the ceremony, in time to get in line and walk onto the stage. She'd kept her official face on while arriving and waiting for the ceremony to begin, though her heart had jumped into her throat at the first sight of Jacen alive and in the flesh.
She wanted to run to him and hold him close against her body, feel his arms around her, hear his voice speaking her name. But she held herself back, though she wasn't quite sure why. She'd heard from informants on Mon Calamari the moment Jacen had appeared in the Yuuzhan Vong craft. She'd seen the stories on the holonet. She'd thought about contacting him, but she didn't know what she'd say. So she'd said nothing.
She sensed his approach and quickly calmed herself, building up a block to keep her emotions firmly private. She turned to face him and nodded slightly in welcome, extending her hand to forestall his hug. He came up short, eyes soft and questioning as he took her hand between both of his and pressed it tightly.
"Tenel Ka." She nodded again.
"Hello Jacen. It is good to see you alive."
"I heard about your mother. I'm sorry." Tenel Ka bowed her head in acknowledgement and thanks.
"The people of Hapes thank you for your kindness." Jacen blinked.
"Um. How are you?" He couldn't think of anything else to say to her. He barely recognized his old friend. She seemed the same strong, confidant young woman she'd always been, yet somehow diminished. It was as though he could see the burdens she carried, and though she held herself as straight as ever, she seemed tense and ill at ease.
"Fine, thank you. We have been trying to find a balance between participation in the war and keeping our people safe."
"You helped in the recent battle at Obroa-skai?"
"Yes. Some of our people have been unhappy with any participation at all, hoping that if we remain quiet within our borders the Yuuzhan Vong will leave us alone, but that notion is dangerously shortsighted. Still, our actions, such as those at Obroa-skai, remain cautious. We are eager not to repeat the disaster at Fondor."
"But what about you? How are you?"
"I..." She paused, struggling to keep her mind calm and contained. She heard her blood pounding behind her ears, and a sharp, hot pain in her gut. She forced her mind through a quick calming exercise. "I am to be married." Jason stood frozen for a long moment before stammering out a reply.
"Congratulations. Who's the lucky guy?"
"I do not know. A committee of my advisors has been working on the problem." His jaw dropped.
"But... a committee is choosing your husband?" She nodded, unable to meet his eyes. "What about your feelings?"
"My feelings are unimportant. This is a time of war, and the state demands that the monarch produce an heir. Should she be killed, a dozen houses would at each others' throats, and with the galaxy in its current state, such disarray would leave us vulnerable to attack."
"Do you know when the wedding will be?"
"No. It will likely be at least six weeks before our advisors can present the most likely candidates. A temporary heir has been named in the event that we are killed before a child is born." The silence grew between them until the conversations going on around them seemed to scream in their ears. "It has been good seeing you again," she began. "You are always welcome as a visitor to the consortium." She began to step backwards and away, her entire being focused on getting away from him and out of that room.
"Tenel Ka?" She paused.
"Yes, Jacen?"
"Are you happy?" A cold fist closed around her heart.
"My happiness is unimportant. Goodbye." Jacen stood unmoving for a time, her words echoing in his mind. He took a deep breath, and then went to find his sister. Jaina stood with her back against one of the room's side columns, a plate of food held out in front of her like a shield. He frowned by way of a greeting.
"I just had the strangest conversation with Tenel Ka. She seems so. unhappy." Jaina covered her face with a hand.
"You're an idiot, Jacen." He stared at her in surprise. "Are you totally blind?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." Jaina sighed.
"She's in love with you." Jacen felt his jaw hit the floor. "It's painfully obvious. And she's convinced herself that it's impossible for anything to come of it, just like she thinks being Queen Mother makes it impossible for her to be a real Jedi. I can't imagine this ceremony was easy for her." Jacen swallowed several times, turning to stare at the door where Tenel Ka and her guards had vanished. In love with him, he thought? Why wouldn't she have said something? They'd known each other for ages, even flirted some while at the academy together. She'd been his closest friend, though they'd only had a few occasions to see each other over the past months of the war. In love with him? He held his head in his hands, thinking desperately for a way to change the subject. He couldn't think about this now. There was too much else important to think about this now.
"I can't imagine this was easy for you either."
"If this is about what Uncle Luke said, I don't want to talk about it."