The Temples of Fanfiction
A Legend of Zelda Fanfic by Mousse 1/2
Chapter 8: Funny Things going on in Termina
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Author Note: YES! FINALLY! I'M BACK!!! AND SO IS THE TEMPLES OF FANFICTION! Sorry, folks, but once again, I got in a bit of trouble with the parents and lost internet privileges. Also, I got really busy, what with school coming back and all. But now I'm back, and I will guarantee tons of new chapters of TToF and Tournament Saga over the school year! Now, anyway, as for the poll, it looks like one chose Kori, one chose Kaze, and one chose Hi. I guess noone liked Tsuyomi, then. But, anyway, enough chit-chat! FINALLY, AFTER ALMOST A YEAR, HERE'S CHAPTER 8!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Last time, on The Temples of Fanfiction, Link, Horosha, and Shika each went one-on-one with one of the Sunakazes, a group of fighters who gain superpowers when in the desert. After defeating Kaze, Hi, and Kori, Link and Horosha fought the Legendary Beast, Ognib. After a lot of leg bites and Scimitar swipes, Link managed to freeze the canine with an Ice Arrow, and Horosha swiftly defeated Ognib, who is now Horosha's loyal servant. But Ognib was not the last of our heroes' troubles in the Action Temple. Link later had to go up against the Temple Boss, a huge sand monster by the name of Sunanezumi, who in reality turned out to be a little mouse with sand powers. After easily dispatching the Action Temple Boss with his Earthquake nuts, Link rescued Funky Monkey Quack Quack, the Sage of Action, and received the Action Medallion....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Horosha and Ognib were waiting outside of the Action Temple, waiting for Link and Shika to come back from getting the Action Medallion. A few minutes later, a blue light shone down from the sky, and Link and Shika floated down it to the ground.
Horosha: Hey, Link, how did it go?
Link: (shows Horosha the Action Medallion) It went great! Heh, I've only just started and I've already rescued the Sage of Lunacy AND the Sage of Action! Gossuka's Temples are a snap!
Horosha: I wouldn't be so sure of that, Link. After all, these are only the first two. I'm sure the later Temples will be much tougher. (looks up to the sky) Hey, Link, what's that?
Link: (looks up) Oh, is that Kaepora Gaebora.? No, I recognize it now. That's the DragonMage!
Horosha: Who?
Link: DragonMage. He's this guy who rides around on a dragon named PepsiDragon. He thinks he can beat anyone, yet I defeated him easily. He's probably coming for a rematch. Look, here he comes now.
PepsiDragon landed in front of the warriors, and DragonMage jumped off of him. He then looked at Horosha and Ognib.
DragonMage: Well, well, Link, we meet again. Tell me, who's the dirty swordsman and the oversized dog?
Horosha: Hey, you take that back! I'm Horosha, the Wandering Warrior who helped Link save the Sage of Action, and this is my new partner, the Legendary Beast Ognib!
Ognib: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.....
DragonMage: Hmmmm, Legendary Beast, eh? Well, let's see if his strength is truly "Legendary". PepsiDragon, attack the giant dog!
Horosha: Ognib, attack the really big lizard!
PepsiDragon and Ognib charged towards each other. When they met, they went into a flurry of biting and scratching.
DragonMage: Hmm, they appear to be evenly matched. Now, Link! It's time for our rematch. Prepare to lose!
Horosha: No way! If you're fighting him, you're fighting me too! You're gonna pay for insulting me and Ognib!
Link: Horosha, you really don't need to fight. This guy is as weak as a Stalfos. Beating him in a fight is a snap!
DragonMage: Wrong! I'm much tougher than the last time you fought me! (takes out a wooden staff) They don't call me the Dragon Mage for nothing! Prepare to face defeat at the hand of my magic!
DragonMage floated into the air, the Boss Music started to play, and white letters appeared under DragonMage
BETWEEN TEMPLE MINI-BOSS
DRAGONMAGE, STAGE 2
REALLY ARROGANT MAGICIAN
DragonMage: Alright, you two! Come and get me! I'll defeat both of you at the same time!
Horosha: Oh yeah? We'll see about that! Link, let's go!
Link: Right! Alright, DragonMage, you're done for!
Horosha and Link both ran towards DragonMage, and DragonMage raised his staff high in the air.
DragonMage: Heh, think again! SANDSTORM!!!
Suddenly a strong wind erupted from DragonMage's staff, and created a sandstorm surrounding DragonMage. Link and Horosha rushed towards DragonMage and tried to attack, but could not see in the sandstorm, and got blown away. DragonMage then landed, the Sandstorm still surrounding him, and rushed towards Link, whacking him hard with his staff. He then did the same to Horosha, then backed off and floated in the air again.
DragonMage: HAH! Now who's simple to defeat? There is no way you can attack me while this Sandstorm is on!
Horosha: He's right, Link! How are we gonna beat this guy?
Link: Don't worry, Horosha, I've got an idea. Just be ready to attack when the Sandstorm goes away.
DragonMage: What do you mean, "When the sandstorm goes away?" You aren't going to deflect my Sandstorm! Now take this!
DragonMage went to the ground and rushed towards Link, but Link shot an Earthquake Nut at the ground beneath DragonMage's feet, causing the sand to rumble violently. This caught DragonMage off guard, and the staff flew out of his hands, causing the Sandstorm to disappear.
Link: Alright, now, Horosha!
Horosha: Right!
Link went and grabbed the staff so DragonMage wouldn't get to it, and Horosha rushed up to DragonMage and started slashing the heck out of him with his Scimitar. Soon, DragonMage fell. He then got back up and raised his palm. The staff flew out of Link's hand and went to DragonMage. Around this time, Ognib finally managed to land a good bite on PepsiDragon's stomach, causing PepsiDragon to fall.
DragonMage: Ugh, we lost again...... Link! PepsiDragon and I will be back, and next time we will defeat you!
DragonMage jumped onto PepsiDragon and flew away.
Horosha: Well, that guy wasn't so tough after all!
Link: Yeah, but he was a lot tougher than last time. I have a feeling sooner or later He may actually be good enough to beat me!
Horosha: Heh, yeah, right! You shouldn't underestimate yourself, Link. After what I've seen of you, It will be a long time before that dork will be good enough to defeat you!
Link: I guess you're right. So, Horosha, are you going to go along with me on my journey?
Horosha: Nah, Ognib and I are going to go on a training journey. We'll leave rescuing the Sages up to you. And next time we meet, I want a rematch with you!
Link: Ok, well, goodbye, Horosha, Ognib!
Horosha: (getting up on Ognib) We'll meet again, Link and Shika! Goodbye!
Horosha then rode off on Ognib, leaving just Link and Shika in front of the Action Temple.
Link: Ok, that's all taken care of. Now how come Kaepora Gaebora hasn't come back yet? He's supposed to come and teach me the song for the next temple!
Shika: Maybe the next temple isn't in Hyrule.
Link: Huh? What do you mean by that?
Shika: Don't you remember? Some of the Temples are in Termina! And Kaepora Gaebora said that someone else would teach us the songs for there. And judging from the fact that He hasn't appeared yet, the next temple is probably in Termina!
Link: Alright then, let's go!
And so Link and Shika journeyed towards the country of Termina. They kept walking until they made it into Clock Town. Like in Hyrule, the town had a lot of new people walking along the streets. Link also noticed that there were even some new shops in the town. He and Shika kept looking around the town, until they noticed something that stood out from the other houses. It was a colorful building, with a pie pan, a rubber chicken, and a boxing glove hung above the door on a coat of arms. On the door, in big letters, were the words "TERMINA JOKE SHOP"
Shika: Hey, Link, that joke shop looks strange!
Link: You're right! There's something wrong about this shop.
Shika: You mean how it is all colorful and strange and stands out from all of the other shops?
Link: No, that's not it. If this was a real coat of arms, then the rubber chicken would be under the boxing glove, not next to it!
Shika: You idiot! It's not supposed to be a real coat of arms, it's just a lame symbol for the joke shop!
Voice from Overhead: Actually, it IS the real coat of arms for that family!
Link: Huh, who said that?
Shika: Oh no! Watch out, Link, it's........HIM!!!!!!!!!!!
Link: What, Gossuka's here? ::quickly looks up:: AAAAAAAH! NO! IT'S EVEN WORSE THAN GOSSUKA! IT'S........TINGLE!!!!!!!!!!
Tingle: Yes! That is right! And Tingle sees that you have a brand NEW fairy! Tingle is so jealous, for Tingle has not yet gotten his fairy!
Link: That's because YOU AREN'T A KOKIRI!
Tingle: Ah, but neither are you!
Shika: He has a point there, Link.
Link: Crap! Well, anyway, what in the hell are you doing here, Tingle?
Tingle: Tingle is here to teach the fairy boy his new song!
Link: WHAT? YOU TEACH ME THE SONGS FOR TERMINA?
Tingle: Yes! Yes! That is right! Now, here it is! ::starts talking like Sheik:: It is something which pleases the heart and can bring it out of abyss in the darkest of times. However, too much of it will anger the hearts of others, and they will gather to destroy yours. Now listen well to the Song of Humor.
::takes out a fairy shaped guitar, and plays the Song of Humor::
ZZZZ
Link repeated the song on his Ocarina, and then Tingle reverted back to his normal stupid form of speech.
Tingle: You now know the Song of Humor!
Link: Yippee. Now where is the Humor Temple, Tingle? ::looks up to see Tingle already flying away.:: HEY! COME BACK HERE!
Shika: It's too late, Link. He's already left.
Link: Dang! Well, then, let's think, humor, humor, what kind of place would hold a humor temple?
Shika: That's right, where would the Humor Temple be?
Weird Voice with a French Accent: Ahh, so you people are looking for lots of le humor, no?
Link: ::turns to where the voice came from and sees a French person:: What the? Who are you?
French person: Ah-ha! I am Lejake 87, and I am le owner of le shop of le Humor, les jokes and all of le other funny stuff.
Link: Ok, that accent is really getting on my nerves. But anyway, Shika! Let's go in the Humor Shop! Maybe the Temple is in there!
Link and Shika then walked towards the shop, where they bumped into Lejake.
Link: HEY! GET OUT OF THE WAY!
Lejake: Not so fast, Monsieur Link! If you want to enter le shop, you must fight le owner! ::gets into a fighting stance::
Link: Alright, then! Shika, what do you know about this guy's fighting skills?
Shika: Oh, come on, Link, do you really need to ask me that for THIS guy?
Link: Huh? What's wrong with him? ::Lejake charges, Link dodges::
Shika: what I mean is that HE'S FRENCH! Just take out your sword!
Link: Oh, ok. ::takes out the Master Sword and gets into a sword stance.::
At that moment, Lejake, who was going into another charge, skidded into a halt and pulled out a white flag.
Lejake: I SURRENDER!
Link: huh? ::sweatdrop::
Shika: Just like I told you, Link. Lejake is French, and all French people are wussies in battle who will give up at the first sign of danger!
Lejake: HEY! THAT IST NO T TRUE!
Link:: takes out the sword again::
Lejake:: takes out the white flag again:: AAH! I SURRENDER! ::Link puts sword away and Lejake puts the flag away.:: Ok, ok, I admit eet, but anyway, now you may be entering le shop of le Jokes!
Link: It's about time.
And so, Link, Shika, and Lejake went into the Joke shop, which was filled with joy buzzers, seltzer bottles, costumes, and anything that anyone would find remotely funny.
Link: Alright, Shika, let's look around for a possible entrance to the Humor Temple!
So Link and Shika looked around the humor shop. they looked everywhere but they didn't see anything special. Finally, Shika went to Lejake.
Shika: Hey, Lejake, I've got a question for you!
Lejake: A question? For Moi? what ees eet, leetle fairy girl?
Shika: Well, do you have any kind of "special area" in your shop? You know, one that most customers don't know about?
Lejake: Aaah! You be wanting to see my special room?
Shika: Yes! Will you take us there?
Lejake: But of course, Madame! allow me to show you le way!
Shika: Ok, but wait a minute first, ok? ::flies over to Link:: Hey, Link, Lejake is gonna take us to where the Humor Temple is!
Link: Really! Alright, then, let's get going!
Link and Shika followed Lejake down many dark and intricate passageways. (line stolen from Poe's "Fall of the house of Usher") When the light finally came, the three came out into Lejake's secret room: A large shrine to Jerry Lewis. Lejake immediately kneeled down and started bowing to the 100 foot statue of Jerry Lewis in the center of the shrine.
Link: Shika, I thought you said he was going to take us to the Humor Temple, not a Jerry Lewis shrine!
Shika: Actually, he said he would take us to his special room. I should have expected as much from a French person. Why don't you try the Song of Humor anyway, just in case?
Link: I guess so. ::plays the Song of Humor::
Suddenly, the head of the Jerry Lewis statue opened from the neck.
Link: YES! IT'S THE HUMOR TEMPLE!
And then a giant pie came out and hit Link square in the face.
Shika: I guess not.
Link: ::after wiping all of the pie stuff off.:: Alright now I'm mad. ::takes out his sword:: THIS WAS ALL SOME JOKE OF YOURS, WASN'T IT?
Lejake:: ::takes out white flag:: I SURRENDER! No, no, eet wasn't me! I had no idea that this would happen! Anyway, look! A ladder ees coming down, with another pie!
Link: No way! I'm not gonna get hit this time! ::jumps up and slashes the pie in half, causing a sign to pop out saying WELCOME TO LE TEMPLE OF LE HUMOR:: Yes! I did it!
Lejake: Good for you, now I shall come with you into le temple!
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And so, Lejake, Shika, and Link have begun their journey into the Humor Temple! What will await them? Who is the Sage of Humor? if you want to find out, review like crazy and then await Chapter 9: French Man Down!
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CHAPTER 8 POLL OF THE CHAPTER
I'M BACK! AND SO IS THE POLL OF THE CHAPTER! Now, today's poll is an opinion poll, tell me...
Do you think I went a bit too far on the French jokes?
A. YES! WAY TOO FAR! HOW DARE YOU!
B. Just a bit too far. Ease up a bit, will ya?
C. Naw, you put in just the right amount
D. NO! NOT ENOUGH! MORE FRENCH JOKES! MORE! MORE!
leave your poll in your review, and jump for joy, cause THE TEMPLES OF FANFICTION HAVE RETURNED!
(Ending disclaimer: The jokes in this chapter were not meant to offend any French people. If you were offended by any of the jokes in this chapter pray to your Jerry Lewis statue that I will be forgiven.)
A Legend of Zelda Fanfic by Mousse 1/2
Chapter 8: Funny Things going on in Termina
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author Note: YES! FINALLY! I'M BACK!!! AND SO IS THE TEMPLES OF FANFICTION! Sorry, folks, but once again, I got in a bit of trouble with the parents and lost internet privileges. Also, I got really busy, what with school coming back and all. But now I'm back, and I will guarantee tons of new chapters of TToF and Tournament Saga over the school year! Now, anyway, as for the poll, it looks like one chose Kori, one chose Kaze, and one chose Hi. I guess noone liked Tsuyomi, then. But, anyway, enough chit-chat! FINALLY, AFTER ALMOST A YEAR, HERE'S CHAPTER 8!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Last time, on The Temples of Fanfiction, Link, Horosha, and Shika each went one-on-one with one of the Sunakazes, a group of fighters who gain superpowers when in the desert. After defeating Kaze, Hi, and Kori, Link and Horosha fought the Legendary Beast, Ognib. After a lot of leg bites and Scimitar swipes, Link managed to freeze the canine with an Ice Arrow, and Horosha swiftly defeated Ognib, who is now Horosha's loyal servant. But Ognib was not the last of our heroes' troubles in the Action Temple. Link later had to go up against the Temple Boss, a huge sand monster by the name of Sunanezumi, who in reality turned out to be a little mouse with sand powers. After easily dispatching the Action Temple Boss with his Earthquake nuts, Link rescued Funky Monkey Quack Quack, the Sage of Action, and received the Action Medallion....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Horosha and Ognib were waiting outside of the Action Temple, waiting for Link and Shika to come back from getting the Action Medallion. A few minutes later, a blue light shone down from the sky, and Link and Shika floated down it to the ground.
Horosha: Hey, Link, how did it go?
Link: (shows Horosha the Action Medallion) It went great! Heh, I've only just started and I've already rescued the Sage of Lunacy AND the Sage of Action! Gossuka's Temples are a snap!
Horosha: I wouldn't be so sure of that, Link. After all, these are only the first two. I'm sure the later Temples will be much tougher. (looks up to the sky) Hey, Link, what's that?
Link: (looks up) Oh, is that Kaepora Gaebora.? No, I recognize it now. That's the DragonMage!
Horosha: Who?
Link: DragonMage. He's this guy who rides around on a dragon named PepsiDragon. He thinks he can beat anyone, yet I defeated him easily. He's probably coming for a rematch. Look, here he comes now.
PepsiDragon landed in front of the warriors, and DragonMage jumped off of him. He then looked at Horosha and Ognib.
DragonMage: Well, well, Link, we meet again. Tell me, who's the dirty swordsman and the oversized dog?
Horosha: Hey, you take that back! I'm Horosha, the Wandering Warrior who helped Link save the Sage of Action, and this is my new partner, the Legendary Beast Ognib!
Ognib: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.....
DragonMage: Hmmmm, Legendary Beast, eh? Well, let's see if his strength is truly "Legendary". PepsiDragon, attack the giant dog!
Horosha: Ognib, attack the really big lizard!
PepsiDragon and Ognib charged towards each other. When they met, they went into a flurry of biting and scratching.
DragonMage: Hmm, they appear to be evenly matched. Now, Link! It's time for our rematch. Prepare to lose!
Horosha: No way! If you're fighting him, you're fighting me too! You're gonna pay for insulting me and Ognib!
Link: Horosha, you really don't need to fight. This guy is as weak as a Stalfos. Beating him in a fight is a snap!
DragonMage: Wrong! I'm much tougher than the last time you fought me! (takes out a wooden staff) They don't call me the Dragon Mage for nothing! Prepare to face defeat at the hand of my magic!
DragonMage floated into the air, the Boss Music started to play, and white letters appeared under DragonMage
BETWEEN TEMPLE MINI-BOSS
DRAGONMAGE, STAGE 2
REALLY ARROGANT MAGICIAN
DragonMage: Alright, you two! Come and get me! I'll defeat both of you at the same time!
Horosha: Oh yeah? We'll see about that! Link, let's go!
Link: Right! Alright, DragonMage, you're done for!
Horosha and Link both ran towards DragonMage, and DragonMage raised his staff high in the air.
DragonMage: Heh, think again! SANDSTORM!!!
Suddenly a strong wind erupted from DragonMage's staff, and created a sandstorm surrounding DragonMage. Link and Horosha rushed towards DragonMage and tried to attack, but could not see in the sandstorm, and got blown away. DragonMage then landed, the Sandstorm still surrounding him, and rushed towards Link, whacking him hard with his staff. He then did the same to Horosha, then backed off and floated in the air again.
DragonMage: HAH! Now who's simple to defeat? There is no way you can attack me while this Sandstorm is on!
Horosha: He's right, Link! How are we gonna beat this guy?
Link: Don't worry, Horosha, I've got an idea. Just be ready to attack when the Sandstorm goes away.
DragonMage: What do you mean, "When the sandstorm goes away?" You aren't going to deflect my Sandstorm! Now take this!
DragonMage went to the ground and rushed towards Link, but Link shot an Earthquake Nut at the ground beneath DragonMage's feet, causing the sand to rumble violently. This caught DragonMage off guard, and the staff flew out of his hands, causing the Sandstorm to disappear.
Link: Alright, now, Horosha!
Horosha: Right!
Link went and grabbed the staff so DragonMage wouldn't get to it, and Horosha rushed up to DragonMage and started slashing the heck out of him with his Scimitar. Soon, DragonMage fell. He then got back up and raised his palm. The staff flew out of Link's hand and went to DragonMage. Around this time, Ognib finally managed to land a good bite on PepsiDragon's stomach, causing PepsiDragon to fall.
DragonMage: Ugh, we lost again...... Link! PepsiDragon and I will be back, and next time we will defeat you!
DragonMage jumped onto PepsiDragon and flew away.
Horosha: Well, that guy wasn't so tough after all!
Link: Yeah, but he was a lot tougher than last time. I have a feeling sooner or later He may actually be good enough to beat me!
Horosha: Heh, yeah, right! You shouldn't underestimate yourself, Link. After what I've seen of you, It will be a long time before that dork will be good enough to defeat you!
Link: I guess you're right. So, Horosha, are you going to go along with me on my journey?
Horosha: Nah, Ognib and I are going to go on a training journey. We'll leave rescuing the Sages up to you. And next time we meet, I want a rematch with you!
Link: Ok, well, goodbye, Horosha, Ognib!
Horosha: (getting up on Ognib) We'll meet again, Link and Shika! Goodbye!
Horosha then rode off on Ognib, leaving just Link and Shika in front of the Action Temple.
Link: Ok, that's all taken care of. Now how come Kaepora Gaebora hasn't come back yet? He's supposed to come and teach me the song for the next temple!
Shika: Maybe the next temple isn't in Hyrule.
Link: Huh? What do you mean by that?
Shika: Don't you remember? Some of the Temples are in Termina! And Kaepora Gaebora said that someone else would teach us the songs for there. And judging from the fact that He hasn't appeared yet, the next temple is probably in Termina!
Link: Alright then, let's go!
And so Link and Shika journeyed towards the country of Termina. They kept walking until they made it into Clock Town. Like in Hyrule, the town had a lot of new people walking along the streets. Link also noticed that there were even some new shops in the town. He and Shika kept looking around the town, until they noticed something that stood out from the other houses. It was a colorful building, with a pie pan, a rubber chicken, and a boxing glove hung above the door on a coat of arms. On the door, in big letters, were the words "TERMINA JOKE SHOP"
Shika: Hey, Link, that joke shop looks strange!
Link: You're right! There's something wrong about this shop.
Shika: You mean how it is all colorful and strange and stands out from all of the other shops?
Link: No, that's not it. If this was a real coat of arms, then the rubber chicken would be under the boxing glove, not next to it!
Shika: You idiot! It's not supposed to be a real coat of arms, it's just a lame symbol for the joke shop!
Voice from Overhead: Actually, it IS the real coat of arms for that family!
Link: Huh, who said that?
Shika: Oh no! Watch out, Link, it's........HIM!!!!!!!!!!!
Link: What, Gossuka's here? ::quickly looks up:: AAAAAAAH! NO! IT'S EVEN WORSE THAN GOSSUKA! IT'S........TINGLE!!!!!!!!!!
Tingle: Yes! That is right! And Tingle sees that you have a brand NEW fairy! Tingle is so jealous, for Tingle has not yet gotten his fairy!
Link: That's because YOU AREN'T A KOKIRI!
Tingle: Ah, but neither are you!
Shika: He has a point there, Link.
Link: Crap! Well, anyway, what in the hell are you doing here, Tingle?
Tingle: Tingle is here to teach the fairy boy his new song!
Link: WHAT? YOU TEACH ME THE SONGS FOR TERMINA?
Tingle: Yes! Yes! That is right! Now, here it is! ::starts talking like Sheik:: It is something which pleases the heart and can bring it out of abyss in the darkest of times. However, too much of it will anger the hearts of others, and they will gather to destroy yours. Now listen well to the Song of Humor.
::takes out a fairy shaped guitar, and plays the Song of Humor::
ZZZZ
Link repeated the song on his Ocarina, and then Tingle reverted back to his normal stupid form of speech.
Tingle: You now know the Song of Humor!
Link: Yippee. Now where is the Humor Temple, Tingle? ::looks up to see Tingle already flying away.:: HEY! COME BACK HERE!
Shika: It's too late, Link. He's already left.
Link: Dang! Well, then, let's think, humor, humor, what kind of place would hold a humor temple?
Shika: That's right, where would the Humor Temple be?
Weird Voice with a French Accent: Ahh, so you people are looking for lots of le humor, no?
Link: ::turns to where the voice came from and sees a French person:: What the? Who are you?
French person: Ah-ha! I am Lejake 87, and I am le owner of le shop of le Humor, les jokes and all of le other funny stuff.
Link: Ok, that accent is really getting on my nerves. But anyway, Shika! Let's go in the Humor Shop! Maybe the Temple is in there!
Link and Shika then walked towards the shop, where they bumped into Lejake.
Link: HEY! GET OUT OF THE WAY!
Lejake: Not so fast, Monsieur Link! If you want to enter le shop, you must fight le owner! ::gets into a fighting stance::
Link: Alright, then! Shika, what do you know about this guy's fighting skills?
Shika: Oh, come on, Link, do you really need to ask me that for THIS guy?
Link: Huh? What's wrong with him? ::Lejake charges, Link dodges::
Shika: what I mean is that HE'S FRENCH! Just take out your sword!
Link: Oh, ok. ::takes out the Master Sword and gets into a sword stance.::
At that moment, Lejake, who was going into another charge, skidded into a halt and pulled out a white flag.
Lejake: I SURRENDER!
Link: huh? ::sweatdrop::
Shika: Just like I told you, Link. Lejake is French, and all French people are wussies in battle who will give up at the first sign of danger!
Lejake: HEY! THAT IST NO T TRUE!
Link:: takes out the sword again::
Lejake:: takes out the white flag again:: AAH! I SURRENDER! ::Link puts sword away and Lejake puts the flag away.:: Ok, ok, I admit eet, but anyway, now you may be entering le shop of le Jokes!
Link: It's about time.
And so, Link, Shika, and Lejake went into the Joke shop, which was filled with joy buzzers, seltzer bottles, costumes, and anything that anyone would find remotely funny.
Link: Alright, Shika, let's look around for a possible entrance to the Humor Temple!
So Link and Shika looked around the humor shop. they looked everywhere but they didn't see anything special. Finally, Shika went to Lejake.
Shika: Hey, Lejake, I've got a question for you!
Lejake: A question? For Moi? what ees eet, leetle fairy girl?
Shika: Well, do you have any kind of "special area" in your shop? You know, one that most customers don't know about?
Lejake: Aaah! You be wanting to see my special room?
Shika: Yes! Will you take us there?
Lejake: But of course, Madame! allow me to show you le way!
Shika: Ok, but wait a minute first, ok? ::flies over to Link:: Hey, Link, Lejake is gonna take us to where the Humor Temple is!
Link: Really! Alright, then, let's get going!
Link and Shika followed Lejake down many dark and intricate passageways. (line stolen from Poe's "Fall of the house of Usher") When the light finally came, the three came out into Lejake's secret room: A large shrine to Jerry Lewis. Lejake immediately kneeled down and started bowing to the 100 foot statue of Jerry Lewis in the center of the shrine.
Link: Shika, I thought you said he was going to take us to the Humor Temple, not a Jerry Lewis shrine!
Shika: Actually, he said he would take us to his special room. I should have expected as much from a French person. Why don't you try the Song of Humor anyway, just in case?
Link: I guess so. ::plays the Song of Humor::
Suddenly, the head of the Jerry Lewis statue opened from the neck.
Link: YES! IT'S THE HUMOR TEMPLE!
And then a giant pie came out and hit Link square in the face.
Shika: I guess not.
Link: ::after wiping all of the pie stuff off.:: Alright now I'm mad. ::takes out his sword:: THIS WAS ALL SOME JOKE OF YOURS, WASN'T IT?
Lejake:: ::takes out white flag:: I SURRENDER! No, no, eet wasn't me! I had no idea that this would happen! Anyway, look! A ladder ees coming down, with another pie!
Link: No way! I'm not gonna get hit this time! ::jumps up and slashes the pie in half, causing a sign to pop out saying WELCOME TO LE TEMPLE OF LE HUMOR:: Yes! I did it!
Lejake: Good for you, now I shall come with you into le temple!
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And so, Lejake, Shika, and Link have begun their journey into the Humor Temple! What will await them? Who is the Sage of Humor? if you want to find out, review like crazy and then await Chapter 9: French Man Down!
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CHAPTER 8 POLL OF THE CHAPTER
I'M BACK! AND SO IS THE POLL OF THE CHAPTER! Now, today's poll is an opinion poll, tell me...
Do you think I went a bit too far on the French jokes?
A. YES! WAY TOO FAR! HOW DARE YOU!
B. Just a bit too far. Ease up a bit, will ya?
C. Naw, you put in just the right amount
D. NO! NOT ENOUGH! MORE FRENCH JOKES! MORE! MORE!
leave your poll in your review, and jump for joy, cause THE TEMPLES OF FANFICTION HAVE RETURNED!
(Ending disclaimer: The jokes in this chapter were not meant to offend any French people. If you were offended by any of the jokes in this chapter pray to your Jerry Lewis statue that I will be forgiven.)