Hey, I'm re-writing chap. 1 'cause it was really short, and it was almost all dialog. CassTheCurious had some great hints to make this better, so I tried. I want you to know there will be no slash (I hate slash), Harry will not be with Hermione or Ginny, and I only have 6 new people, and only three of them make it to the 4th chapter (nobody dies). Even though the chapter will be kind of bad, it gets better soon. I love reviews! Also, when I introduce my friends, let me explain they are real people, and that is why no last names are given.

P.s. Hey, Cass, if you read this, I have a question. What are Mary Sues? There is nothing boy/boy or girl/girl, and only a little boy/girl.

Through the Vortex *revised*

One day, I was walking home with my friend Heather. Heather's long, golden hair was braided into a ponytail, and, since she got contacts, her blue eyes were no longer hidden behind glasses. My flaming red hair was loose and bouncy around my shoulders, my green eyes focused on the fall leaves. The October sun shined down through the clouds, and the wind blew gently through the trees. We were coming home from swimming, and the chlorine from the pool and made our freckles stand out against our pale skin. We were going to my house for a party with Michelle, Selene, Erin, and Mary. We were arguing about a Harry/Ron duel.

"No way!" I exclaimed, "Harry Potter would definitely beat Ron Weasly in a duel."

"Whatever," exclaimed Heather.

"Well," I said, "I guess we'll never know, now will we." By now, we had gotten to my house, and I could hear my dog, Bailey, barking like mad inside. Heather noticed.

"She's probably barking at me, since she's never met me," said Heather. Heather knew that Bailey didn't like strangers.

"Probably," I agreed. I opened the door.

I walked through the front hall, and Heather followed, shutting the door behind her. As I entered our den, I saw that Mary and Michelle were already there, and they were cowering against the wall. Bailey was barking, but wasn't even looking in Heather's direction. She was looking at a huge vortex of colors and strange eerie music that was floating in the middle of the room

"What the he-" Heather started, before backing into a corner. She slumped to the floor, terrified.

"Caitlin!" Michelle turned to look at me. Her dirty-blonde hair was frizzing from the energy of the vortex. Behind her glasses, I could see her blue eyes were wide with terror." What is this thing, and what is it doing here?"

"I, I, I don't, I don't know," I stuttered.

"Stick something in there," Mary said. Her medium brown hair was almost sticking strait up because of the static. Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Not your hand!" Heather screamed, as I reached towards the vortex. I stuck my hand into the center of the swirling colors. Nothing happened. I stuck my head through and fell into the vortex.

"Caitlin!" Heather yelled. She ran towards the vortex to try to pull me through, but she fell in as well.

"Heather!" Mary and Michelle yelled in unison. They looked at each other and jumped through the vortex.

"Where are we?" Heather asked me.

"It looks like we're at…"

~*~

Well, that was a little better. If you'd like to compare that to my other first chapter, I'll find out the address and post it as a review. Speaking of reviews… you should all post one (who knows, I may take your suggestions into consideration!) I'd like to tell CassTheCurious, thanks a bunch!!!!!!