Author's Note: Greetings! And welcome to the next chapter! If you're not mentally scarred yet, I commend you. You lasted longer then my Cat! Whoo! Go you! *Sighs* I don't really think this is as funny as the last two chapters so…yeah. Okay. I ran out of stuff to say. Oh poo.
Anyway! To my reviewers:
Redrose2310: Lol, you asked for it! I now have a Plot-Puppy in my head scurrying around and demanding a Royce/Dennis fic. Lol, so, I guess you can expect it to appear soon. That is, unless Skool drags me down into a hellish pit of despair and anguish. I guess we'll see, right?
Pilar Sama aka Gecko: OMG, you liked the Shower scene too? Lol, that was my favorite. And I'm soooo sorry for not having the Whose Line Chapter up. I promise I'll try to make it funny and post it just for you, okay? Oh, and…I beg to differ. Torn Prince All. *Sticks Out Tongue*
Doped Out Bunny: *Bows* Glad you liked! Sorry I had to get off IM so fast, but as it is, Technically I'm not supposed to be online at all…(CURSE YOU BAD TEST GRADE! ARG!) Lol, and sorry this isn't the 'Attack Of Maggie' Chapter…I started that and it's already like, 4,000 words…so it's probably gonna take a while. BTW, did you by any chance save a copy of our conversation? There was some stuff I wanted to keep on reference…
Shadowcat832: Yes. We love Princie! And his ditziness is an added bonus, eh? Lol, and I promise, Jackal will have his moment in the spotlight!
Magdalena: Lol, I do kick ass, don't I? Ack. There it goes again. Stupid ego. You're too kind! Now it's way too large for me to contain! Arg! Lol, thanks for the review tho'…even it did unleash my ego upon the world.
And now, on with the chapter…
More Thir13en Ghosts Bloopers!
*~* The 'OMG! Dennis & The Torn Prince are trapped in a 9x9 feet enclosure together!' Scene. *~*
Torn Prince: *Swings His Bat around all spiffy-like. *
Dennis: *Makes his weird little 'Eeeeinghhed' sound*
Maggie: OH MAH GAWD! HEY DENNIS THERE"S A GHOST IN THERE!
Dennis: Okay, first off: Duh, of course there's a ghost. Second: That wasn't your line.
Maggie: GOOD LORD! IT'S A GHOST!
Torn Prince: *Leaning On his Bat* *Sarcastic* Gee, you wanna slow down there on the brilliant observations, Einstein? The rest of us can't keep up.
Maggie: MAH GAWD! IT TALKED! SOMEONE HELP! DENNIS IS TRAPPED WITH A GHOST!
Director: *Rubs Temples in Frustration* Maggie, that's in the script. He's supposed to be trapped in there.
Maggie: Oh. Really?
Director: *Nods* Yep.
Maggie: Oh. Okay.
Director: *Sighs* Cut.
---Take Two---
Dennis: *Makes his weird little 'Eeeeinghhed' sound*
Maggie: …Glasses! *Puts them on*
:::Silence:::
Dennis: Well?
Maggie: Uh, I don't see no ghost.
Torn Prince: *Drops Down From Ceiling behind Maggie* BOO!
Maggie: EEK! *Jumps a mile*
Torn Prince: *Snickers*
Maggie: Why you…*Lunges*
Torn Prince: *Runs*
Maggie: *Gives Chase*
Torn Prince: *Crashes Into A Wall* Ouch.
Dennis: Um, hello?
:::It seems everyone has forgotten about him, in their rush to make sure Maggie does not injure Royce:::
Dennis: *Whistles* They'll remember me eventually.
*Six Hours Later*
:::Janitor Walks By:::
Dennis: *Snore*
Janitor: *Stares*
Dennis: *Wakes Up* Wha? Hey!
Janitor: *Waves*
Dennis: Let me outta here!
Janitor: *Does So*
Dennis: *Looking Murderous* When I get a hold of them…
*~* The Lawyers Death Scene *~*
Ben: *Backs away slowly* Uh, Hey…about earlier…I was just joking…
Angry Princess: *Looks evil*
Ben: *Realizes the Walls about to slice him in half and jumps backwards really fast*
:::The wall shuts, trapping The Angry Princess on the other side:::
Ben: BOOYAH!
Director: Cut!
---Take Two---
Ben: *Backs away slowly* Uh, Hey…about earlier…I was just joking…
Angry Princess: *Looks evil*
Ben: *Sighs, and gets ready to step backwards*
Dennis: AIEEEEYAYAYAYAYAY! *Swings down on a rope-vine ala Tarzan. He grabs the money from Ben and swings away…unfortunately, the wall shuts on the rope, cutting it. Dennis' momentum carries him straight through the glass and into The Torn Princes' cube.*
Dennis: *Dazed* Well, at least I've got my money…*Smiles*
Royce: *Grabs Money* Nope. I've got your money. *Walks away whistling*
Dennis: *Trying To Stand but failing miserably* Hey! Come back here, dead-boy!
Royce: *Walks Right Past Ben & The Angry Princess, and gives them a little wave*
Ben: O_O *Pounds on the glass* HEY! WHERE THE #*($&# DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING WITH MY MONEY!?
Angry Princess: *Raises Knife*
Ben: *Shoves her into the wall to get past her* Not now, I've gotta get my money back!
Angry Princess: X_X
Dennis: *Is clearheaded again* *Stands Up* Stupid Princie…when I get my hands on him! *Stalks Off*
Director: Cut!
:::Nobody Listens:::
***Elsewhere in the House***
Torn Prince: *Walks past Cyrus, still whistling.*
Cyrus: *Sees Money* OI! WTF!? Come back here! *Gives Chase*
Torn Prince: Tch, not likely. *Runs Away*
:::And because Cyrus is a crusty old man, and Royce is perfect, he eventually loses The Crusty One:::
***The Main Room, a short time later***
:::Ben, Cyrus, and Dennis run in from three different directions, and predictably crash into each other. A scuffle ensues.::::
Ben: *Ends up sitting on Cyrus, with Dennis in a headlock*
Dennis: *Ends Up on the floor in a headlock with his hands around Ben's neck*
Cyrus: *Is Smooshed* X_x
Dennis: Arg. This isn't getting us anywhere!
Ben: You're right. We need the get the money first, and then we can beat the shit outta each other.
Cyrus: x_X
Ben: Right. We'll split up, bring the money back here, and then fight over it; agreed?
Dennis: Agreed. You look on this floor, and I'll look upstairs.
Ben: What about the basement?
:::They look at each other:::
Both: Cyrus.
Dennis: Alrighty then, let's move out.
:::They do so:::
Cyrus: X_X
***Meanwhile, in the 'Unbelievable Bathroom'***
Royce: *Humming Cheerfully and counting the money*
***On the main floor***
Ben: Stupid Ghost…who does he think he is, taking my money! *Stops, because he thinks he hears something*
Arthur: Hey! It's Mr. Moss! *Waves* I was looking all over for you!
Ben: Not now, you bum! I've gotta find that stupid Ghost and get my money back!
Arthur: *Slightly offended, but more confused then anything* Ghost?
Ben: Yeah, Ghost. The stupid James Dean Wannabe took my paycheck.
Arthur: O_o *Is very disturbed* Um, are you feeling all right, Mr. Moss?
Ben: Of course I am. But I'll be feeling better once I find that little punk and get my money back!
Arthur: Riiiiiiight. Okay. Maybe you should go outside, I think you need some fresh air…
Ben: *Grabs Arthur's Collar and lifts him in the air* DID YOU SEE HIM OUT THERE!? IS THAT WHERE THE LITTLE SNOT-GOBLIN IS HIDING!?
Arthur: N-no! I don't know what you're talking about!
Ben: *Puts Him down* Hmmm…whatever. *Walks Off To Continue His Search*
Arthur: *Is too busy staring after him, so he doesn't notice the Jackal until it's too late* AIEEEE!
Jackal: *Cackles*
*** In The Main Room ***
Cyrus: *Groggily* Curses. I'll never get my money now…*Realization Dawns* Unless…*Cackles and heads for the basement*
*** On the Second Floor ***
Dennis: *Calling* PRINCIE! OH, PRINCIE! *Sighs* Stupid jerk. I'll never find him this way.
:::He sits down:::
Dennis: *Suddenly has an Idea and stands up again* OI! PRINCIE! IF YOU DON'T SHOW YOURSELF, THEN YOU WON'T BE GETTING ANY FOR THE REST OF THE MONTH!
*** In the 'Unbelievable Bathroom' ***
Royce: _;; *Sighs* Damn.
:::He still doesn't get up.:::
*** Back To Dennis ***
Dennis: *Waits*
***In The Basement***
Cyrus: KALINA!
Kalina: *Appears out of nowhere…as she is so prone to doing.* Yes, my liege?
Cyrus: Shut up and gimme the spells!
Kalina: O_O *Hands him the spells* You-You're not mad, are you?
Cyrus: Nope. Course not.
Kalina: Phew. *Sigh Of Relief*
Cyrus: Just Kidding. Actually, I'm so mad I'm going to kill you now. Mwaha.
Kalina: WHAT!?
Cyrus: *Rolls Eyes and shoves her into the Ocu…Oculariat…Infernity…Aw, hell. The Big Spinney Thing of Doom.*
Kalina: EEK! *Dies. Too bad. Sucks to be her.*
Cyrus: Eh, she was too clingy anyway. *Puts Spells into machine-player thingy*
:::He turns the speakers on and kicks back.:::
Cyrus: :-p I'll have my money back in no time!
*** In the 'Unbelievable Bathroom' ***
Royce: *Is wearing gigantic headphones and has Linkin Park blaring loud enough to wake the dead…Oh, will these horrible puns never cease?*
*** Back To Dennis ***
Dennis: *Waits*
*** Back to Cyrus ***
Cyrus: *Waits*
*** On the Main Floor ***
Ben: *Pouts* I've looked everywhere, and I still can't find that stupid Happy Days reject! Grrrr…*Thinks* Wait a sec…he must be upstairs! AHA!
::: He runs in the general direction of the stairs, completely ignoring the bloody pile of pulp on the floor that was once Arthur.:::
Angry Princess: *Lunges Out Of Nowhere* AIEE! I've got you now!
Ben: *Shoves her into a wall…again* I already told you…later! I don't have time for you now!
Angry Princess: X_X
Ben: *Runs Upstairs*
*** Back To Dennis ***
Dennis: *Waits*
*** Back to Cyrus ***
Cyrus: *Waits*
Kalina: *Is still dead*
*** Back to the Director! ***
Director: *Sobbing into the shoulder of his cameraman* WHY!? WHY WON'T THEY CUT!?
Cameraman: *Pats him on the back* There, There. It's Okay.
*** Back To Ben! ***
Ben: *Is roaming the halls searching for Royce* I'll find you, you stupid skin-minced moron…Grrr…
:::Suddenly! He hears 'Crawling' blaring out from the 'Unbelievable Bathroom':::
Ben: Mwaha. I've got you now!
:::He runs into the bathroom, only to reveal…:::
First-Born: *Mouth Full of Toothpaste* Wha?
Ben: *Sees the Walkman blaring music on the floor, but nothing else* Uh…
First-Born: Ooh 'ou 'ind? (Translation: Do you mind? This translation has been brought to you by: 'Reading Rainbow'. Omar…we will miss you.)
Ben: Oops. Sorry. *Turns to leave, but pauses* Hey, have you seen The Torn Prince?
First-Born: *Shakes Head*
Ben: Ah. Okay. I'll just be going then.
First-Born: *Nods*
Ben: Laters. *Leaves*
Torn Prince: *Peeks out from behind Shower Curtain* Is he gone?
First-Born: *Spits out toothpaste and wipes his mouth with his sleeve* Yup.
Torn Prince: Great. *Takes out a wad of bills and hands it to First-Born* Thanks. *Pats him on the head*
First-Born: Anytime.
Torn Prince: *Leaves*
First-Born: *Picks up Walkman and listens* Hmmm…not bad.
*** Back To Cyrus ***
Cyrus: *Snore*
*** Back to Dennis! ***
Dennis: Yup. Anyyyytime now. He'll be here.
Torn Prince: *Sprints By* Hey, Dennis!
Dennis: Huh? What? Hey! Get back here, you! *Gives chase*
Torn Prince: *Is already to the stairs* Laters, Denny!
*** Back to the Director ***
Director: *Staring Blankly Into Space*
Cameraman, Soundman…etc: *Playing Twister*
Producer: Right foot yellow!
Cameraman: *Looks at Scriptwriter* Nice one!
*** Back to Arthur! ***
Arthur: *Bleeds*
*** Back to…well, go to for the first time, Bobby! ***
:::Bobby is having a Tea Party with Juggernaut & Hammer:::
Juggernaut: More crumpets, Hammer?
Hammer: Sure, son. Pass dem suckers ova here!
Bobby: *Sips his tea*
*** Now let's visit Kathy! ***
:::Kathy is having a slumber party with Jackal & Bound Woman.:::
Kathy: *Painting Bound Woman's toenails* And then I was all like, "You whore!"
Jackal: *Lying On his Stomach on the bed, flipping idly through a copy of Teen Beat* OMG, No way!
Kathy: Like, yes way!
Bound Woman: Then what did she say?
Kathy: Well, then Lisa was all like, "Bitch!" And then she, like, slapped me!
Jackal: *Gasps* Like, no!
Kathy: Oh yeah. So I was like, "Screw You!" And I just, like slapped her back!
Bound Woman: You go girl!
*** Er, that was interesting! Now back to Ben! ***
Ben: *Has given up on ever getting his money* I hate my life.
:::Suddenly, Royce goes running by, with Dennis close on his heels.:::
Royce: Hi, Ben! *Keeps Running*
Dennis: Haha! The money's mine, Suit! *Also keeps running*
Ben: WHA!? *Gives chase*
(Let's just say, to make a long story short, they end up in the main room…and the Spinney Thing Of Doom is goin' full force! Don't ask how. Just go along with it, mmkay?)
Royce: *Backs Away from Ben & Dennis, clutching the bag of money to his chest*
Cyrus: *Charges into the main room* Aha!
All: *Look at Cyrus with mild interest*
Ben: Took you long enough, O' Crusty One.
Cyrus: Silence, fool.
Ben: *Raises Eyebrows but doesn't say anything*
Cyrus: *Turns To Royce* Now then…how about giving that money to your dear Uncle Cyrus?
Royce: *Shakes Head and backs closer to the edge of the Spinney Thing Of Doom! Oh No!*
Cyrus: *Growls* Why you…*Lunges*
::: He hits Princie full force and they go toppling towards the edge! AHHH!:::
Ben: MY MONEY! *Lunges*
Dennis: MY BOY-TOY! *Lunges*
:::Thankfully, Dennis grabs onto Princie's ankle and saves him from becoming the next Torso. Phew. Unfortunately, (Or, fortunately, depending on whether you like Cyrus and/or Mr. Moss or not.) Ben & Cyrus do become the next Torsos. Ouch.:::
Princie & Dennis: *Shield themselves from an onslaught of icky body parts. Eew.*
:::But of course, not even Mr. Satan himself could handle The Crusty One and The Sleazy One. Predictably, the Spinney Thing Of Doom short-circuits; Yadda, Yadda, Yadda. The house goes boom; blah, blah, blah. You know what happens…:::
*** After The Dust Clears ***
Royce: *Stunned Silence*
Dennis: *Even More Stunned Silence*
::: All is silent. Suddenly, Linkin Park is heard.:::
Royce: ???
Dennis: ???
:::It's First Born! Yay! He comes head banging out into the main room dressed in Sk8ter clothes…(Ya know, baggy jeans, baggy T-shirt, spiked collars…the whole shebang.) …and holding a sign that says 'The End'. He then proceeds to 'Punk' his way out of the room.:::
Royce: o_O
Dennis: O_o
Director: *Comes Upstairs* Good Lord.
Rest Of Crew: *Jaws Drop*
Director: *Starts sobbing again* C-CUT! PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CUT!
*~* The End *~*
Wowies. There ya go folks, the longest Blooper I've ever written. *Bows*
Again, I apologize if it's not as funny as you were expecting…I'M SORRY!
THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE BETTER! I PROMISE!
*Gets down on knees* Please forgive me!
*Cough* Anywho, I can't really say what will be in the next chappie…because I haven't started it yet!
So, until then…always remember:
Torn Prince All.