Title: Parting Gifts 2/5
Author: Luisa
Rating: R
Disclaimer/Notes: As in Part 1
Part 2: What Actions Cannot Say.
Buffy peered at the contents of the carton with interest.
Willow had begged to watch her open the package to see her reaction, but right now Buffy was glad Willow wasn't even in the house. The look of bewilderment that passed over the Slayer's face was not what the redhead would have expected.
"What the hell is all this stuff?" Buffy inquired of an empty room.
The carton itself was only a little larger than a shoebox, but had been stuffed to almost over flowing with hundreds of blank envelopes - in fact the lid had popped off with gusto, almost hitting Buffy in the face when she released the string. She sifted through the envelopes hoping for some sort of clue as to what was going on. Even when she reached the last one, she was no wiser as to its contents.
Uncertainly, she opened the envelope that she still held, unable to stop wondering if this was a mistake. She shrugged off the doubt and unfolded the paper. It appeared to be a letter. addressed to her. There was no date.
*Well, this is a weird sort of present. Why would Giles need Willow's advice on writing me a letter? I wonder if the rest are for me too.*
She couldn't stop her eyes from straying back to the salutation and her heart skipped a beat as its implications sank in.
*Dearest Buffy?*
She knew she ought to put the letter down. A part of her suddenly realised that this box shouldn't be sitting here with her in her bedroom but should be with its owner in England. However the lonely part of her, the part that longed for Giles to love her in return wouldn't yield to the other half and she continued to read, making herself comfortable when she saw the length of the letter.
Dearest Buffy,
I cannot possibly tell you this aloud for fear of your rejection, so I am presenting my heart before you on this sheet of paper. My first confession is how you struck me tonight. You were an absolute vision when you entered the room. I thought my heart would fly from my breast it beat so rapidly in response to your exquisiteness. However, it was not only your loveliness that affected me, for it never ceases to amaze me how you go out to fight so selflessly, always putting your friends lives and happiness before your own.
That you would fight those hellhounds rather than attend your Prom like a normal teenager shows just how much you have matured. I must admit however, that your slight delay in arriving had me concerned. Had you been a minute longer, I would have sought you - aided you if necessary.
But then you appeared, radiant, completely taking my breath away with your striking beauty. And when you received your award, oh Buffy, I've never been more proud. You have accomplished so much already in your life, and I am certain you will continue to do so.
I will ensure that you have that long life that you and I also, wish for so dearly. I promise I will never leave you, no matter what, and take it upon myself (even if I am no longer your Watcher) to guard, protect and watch over you at all times.
My precious child - I am not certain as to why I still call you this, for tonight I saw for the first time the breathtaking woman you have become. So I stand corrected. My precious Buffy - please do not push me away for this - but tonight you truly captivated my heart, and I have fallen so deeply in love with you that my soul aches for you and I feel utterly helpless against it.
The moment I received my epiphany, I decided to act on it - after all, we both believed Angel had left and wouldn't be returning; and come Graduation, you and I would no longer have the restrictions of a Teacher/Student or Watcher/Slayer relationship to prevent us being together. Yet, even as I prepared to ask you to join me for the last dance, Angel unexpectedly showed up. I don't think I've ever seen you happier, and even though my heart broke at not being the one to hold you, I couldn't help but be glad to see you smile.
Have I ever told you what a beautiful smile you have? Or that it lights up the room? I wish I had, for now I fear I shall never have that chance again. If nothing else let me tell you this: The world is a brighter place because you are in it. Never doubt yourself, and never let anyone make you believe otherwise.
I love you, my dear Buffy. And although we can never be more than friends, I will continue to do so until I am in my grave.
Love always,
Rupert
Tears streamed down Buffy's cheeks for the second time that day as she absorbed this information.
*Willow was right. Giles does love me*.
Now certain that this gift was no accident, but an intentional way of telling her of his feelings without the fear of rejection, she carefully folded the paper again, before opening the next envelope. Just as she suspected, this one was also fondly addressed to her, and like the previous letter, had no date. Its contents however, gave a clear indication of when it had been written.
My beloved Buffy,
Again you have managed to astound me with your courage and unselfish love for those around you. You were absolutely astounding in your fight with the Mayor. You fought with wisdom and great skill.
Yet every time I witness your battles, I always feel such overwhelming love for you and the need to protect you - I would have fought in your place if I could. I know that I am standing in your way, preventing you from fulfilling your destiny as the Slayer, but I refuse to let you be put in a situation where your life is jeopardised. I meant what I said in my last letter, I will protect you with my own life until there is no more life in my bones to offer you.
How my heart aches for you, my dear Buffy. You have battled so bravely, putting aside your grief at Angel leaving. I will confess that I am glad he is no longer here, reminding me of his darker side, Angelus. reminding me of the torture he put me through. Still, I would suffer it all again for you, my love, if it meant keeping you safe - and alive.
But, despite my relief at his absence, I can see how much pain you are in. If I could take that away from you, I would, and I hope you know this.
In the meantime, with the knowledge that I cannot take away your hurt, I can only hope that you will remember that I shall always be here for you. Regardless of my feelings, I will never take advantage of you, and should you need a willing listener I am here and ready.
I cannot help but tell you again my dearest, that you are my reason for living, the light of my life. I will love you with every breath that I take, and every heartbeat. That, my love is one thing Angel can't do.
Oh, Buffy, I am so sorry for my petty jealousies. Please forgive me. I couldn't bear for you to hold this against me; I couldn't live without you in my life. I love you so very dearly.
Love always, Rupert
Buffy hurriedly tore at the next envelope, desperate to see what was coming next and found just a short note.
Oh my Love,
Here I am again, pouring out my love for you on paper. How I long to tell you these things for they are so impossible to keep hidden. I can only thank the gods that I have this means of putting my feelings for you into words, for I have no other way of safely expressing what my actions cannot say: that I love you.
I keep seeing you around the town, out with Willow and Xander. You wear your mask of happiness so well, but on the few occasions we have talked this week, I have seen in your eyes just how deeply you are hurting. For the life of me, I cannot fathom why Angel let you slip through his grasp, or why you should suffer so intensely for his mistake. He has been such a fool.
If I had you in my life, I would never, ever let go of you. My love, I can only hope that the rest of the summer improves for you and that time heals your hurt. Again, may I remind you that I am here if needed.
Love always, Rupert
Deep sobs erupted from Buffy's throat wracking her entire body as she hiccupped his name between them.
"Giles. Oh Giles. why did you never tell me? I needed to talk to you so badly, but you never gave any sign."
She reached for a tissue, desperate to protect the heartfelt letters. When her crying had quietened, she reached for the next letter.
Dearest Buffy,
This seems to have become a bit of a ritual. Not that I mind, for it is a healing and comforting one. Each Saturday evening, I curl up with a nice pot of tea and my thoughts of you. I have found that by writing them down you become immortal to me and I can be reminded over and over again of the times you have survived love, loss and change. Yes, change.
I know you are preparing for University and that you are scared of the adjustments you'll face: life in a dorm room, without your mother, without Willow or Xander. But my love, there is no need to be scared. Your mother and your friends will not be too far away, and as I have repeatedly said, I am not too far away either.
Not that you've noticed.
You haven't visited me once yet this summer, the only times I've seen you being when we have bumped into each other in town. I'm not going to pretend to understand why, and it hurts so very much, but because you are whom you are, I can forgive you. I love you so very much, and nothing is worth ruining our 'relationship'. Still my heart is full of hope now that there are no excuses, that you would regard me as a man, possibly as a potential love.
I know my fantasies are foolish, after all, the age barrier between us still exists and I'm sure you would never consider someone as old as me to be your lover - regardless of the two centuries that Angel survived. But still, as I have already said, my heart hopes for you.
You have captured me in your web of seduction, my love. You may not realise it, but your every word, your every movement makes my heart beat more quickly simply because I can witness it and know you are alive.
Love always, Rupert
She pulled letter after letter out of its respective envelope reading them through her tears.
*God, how could I have been so blind? There I was waiting for him to see me as a woman, and there I am, not noticing that he was waiting for me to see him as a man. How could we have been so stupid, missing each other's intentions? How could I have let him hurt like this?*
Buffy continued mentally beating herself up as she read through still more letters that expressed his feelings about Olivia, Parker, Riley, the Initiative, Professor Walsh, Dawn and even Spike's crush on her and her mother's death. She devoured every word as if it were food for her aching soul.
Then she found the one that really did make her throw up, upon reaching the bathroom.
His tears had stained the paper in several places and as hers joined his, she could only just make out some of the words.
I have failed you, Buffy.
I swore to protect you and watch over you, but instead I have failed you.
All this time I have been wrapped up in my guilty fantasies and my resentfulness over your relationship with Riley, when I should have been helping you to fight. And now I must pay the price for my carelessness.
I cannot believe that you've gone. I always promised you a long life, and now I must suffer knowing that you'll never have that because of me. Had I not been so stubborn and so quick to judge, I might have been able to help you research an alternative way of defeating Glory. Instead, you went out to die because of my selfishness.
All I could think about was averting an apocalypse using whatever means necessary. Yet, you truly showed how you've matured, putting your sister's life before your own.
How could I possibly have thought that by taking one life, we could save thousands?
You took that theory and died in her place.
How could I have been so careless?
We could have found another way - I know we could.
Oh Buffy, I cannot express the depths of my sorrow and anguish. I loved you more than life itself, and I know for certain that I always will even though you are gone.
I never thought your light would be extinguished, and now that it has, I find myself reliving that night, trying to find alternatives. I know this is doing me no good. I should be looking after the others, but instead, I find that they are looking after me. Stopping me from doing anything. rash.
I think Willow suspects how I feel.
I know she has seen how I weep endlessly, and she has mentioned that she heard me cry your name in my alcohol-induced sleep. I believe she knows of my love for you, and that she realises the emptiness I feel without you. If I were to be left alone, I would almost definitely consider ending this life to join you in yours.
Naturally as a result, Willow never leaves me, not even for a second - well, except for the necessities, of course. But even then, she has removed all the sharp objects from the house. If I want to shave, I have to request her permission, and even then she watches me while I do so.
I can't stand this loneliness, this pain. I thought I knew true grief and torment when Jenny died, but it was nothing compared to how I feel now. I just feel hollow all the time. I don't want to live without you.
The only thing that stops me from joining you, my love, is what it would do to our friends, and to Dawn. She is a part of you, I can see that now, and just as I could never leave you, I would never leave her either. Perhaps this is my farewell to you. I don't think I could face writing again, knowing that you will never read it.
Goodbye, Buffy. I will cherish the memories we shared.
Love always, Rupert
When Buffy had finished in the bathroom, she returned to her room and clutching the letter, threw herself on the bed crying into a fitful sleep.
* * * * *
Several hours later, Willow returned home with Dawn in tow, having collected her from Janice's.
"Buffy?" She called out into the still house.
There was no answer, and Dawn shrugged it off, figuring Buffy was still in her broody mood, unaware of what had transpired between she and Willow that morning and headed into the kitchen for a snack.
"Hey, Willow? You want something to eat? I can fix us some pancakes, if you like."
"Not now, Munchkin." Willow replied distractedly. She was less casual about the silence.
Buffy should be bouncing off the walls in happiness at Giles' expensive gift. She headed toward the stairs, intent on discovering the reason for the stillness.
Willow found Buffy curled up in a tight ball on her bed grasping what looked like a letter. Then it hit her that the whole floor was littered with letters. Rejecting the voice that told her she was being nosy, she picked one up and browsed its contents.
My Love,
I cannot believe that you are back.
Words cannot begin to describe how overwhelmed my heart is with emotion at your return. I had believed that you were dead and had vowed never to write another letter to you, but I find that you are alive, and so here I am again.
My heart sings for joy with the knowledge that you are alive.
Of course, what Willow did was careless and downright dangerous, but even that cannot quell the song in my spirit. I think I have fallen in love with you all over again at the thought of having a new chance to tell you how I feel.
Willow swiftly cast her eyes elsewhere at the realization of what she held.
*This is really, really personal stuff. How did Buffy get it?*
She looked more attentively around the room, and her keen eyes spotted the open box with letters fanning out from it.
*Oh my god.*
She crossed the room and sat gently on the corner of the bed, watching as Buffy slept on, unaware of her presence. From where she sat, she could make out a handful of words on the page Buffy held, and was drawn to the intimate handwriting like a child to ice-cream:
I have failed you. I must pay the price. you went out to die. I don't want to live without you.
Buffy turned suddenly in her sleep, crying out Giles' name and flinging out the hand that held his words. Willow jumped up quickly to avoid getting hit. She clenched her jaw.
*Something has to be done.*
* * * * *
Author: Luisa
Rating: R
Disclaimer/Notes: As in Part 1
Part 2: What Actions Cannot Say.
Buffy peered at the contents of the carton with interest.
Willow had begged to watch her open the package to see her reaction, but right now Buffy was glad Willow wasn't even in the house. The look of bewilderment that passed over the Slayer's face was not what the redhead would have expected.
"What the hell is all this stuff?" Buffy inquired of an empty room.
The carton itself was only a little larger than a shoebox, but had been stuffed to almost over flowing with hundreds of blank envelopes - in fact the lid had popped off with gusto, almost hitting Buffy in the face when she released the string. She sifted through the envelopes hoping for some sort of clue as to what was going on. Even when she reached the last one, she was no wiser as to its contents.
Uncertainly, she opened the envelope that she still held, unable to stop wondering if this was a mistake. She shrugged off the doubt and unfolded the paper. It appeared to be a letter. addressed to her. There was no date.
*Well, this is a weird sort of present. Why would Giles need Willow's advice on writing me a letter? I wonder if the rest are for me too.*
She couldn't stop her eyes from straying back to the salutation and her heart skipped a beat as its implications sank in.
*Dearest Buffy?*
She knew she ought to put the letter down. A part of her suddenly realised that this box shouldn't be sitting here with her in her bedroom but should be with its owner in England. However the lonely part of her, the part that longed for Giles to love her in return wouldn't yield to the other half and she continued to read, making herself comfortable when she saw the length of the letter.
Dearest Buffy,
I cannot possibly tell you this aloud for fear of your rejection, so I am presenting my heart before you on this sheet of paper. My first confession is how you struck me tonight. You were an absolute vision when you entered the room. I thought my heart would fly from my breast it beat so rapidly in response to your exquisiteness. However, it was not only your loveliness that affected me, for it never ceases to amaze me how you go out to fight so selflessly, always putting your friends lives and happiness before your own.
That you would fight those hellhounds rather than attend your Prom like a normal teenager shows just how much you have matured. I must admit however, that your slight delay in arriving had me concerned. Had you been a minute longer, I would have sought you - aided you if necessary.
But then you appeared, radiant, completely taking my breath away with your striking beauty. And when you received your award, oh Buffy, I've never been more proud. You have accomplished so much already in your life, and I am certain you will continue to do so.
I will ensure that you have that long life that you and I also, wish for so dearly. I promise I will never leave you, no matter what, and take it upon myself (even if I am no longer your Watcher) to guard, protect and watch over you at all times.
My precious child - I am not certain as to why I still call you this, for tonight I saw for the first time the breathtaking woman you have become. So I stand corrected. My precious Buffy - please do not push me away for this - but tonight you truly captivated my heart, and I have fallen so deeply in love with you that my soul aches for you and I feel utterly helpless against it.
The moment I received my epiphany, I decided to act on it - after all, we both believed Angel had left and wouldn't be returning; and come Graduation, you and I would no longer have the restrictions of a Teacher/Student or Watcher/Slayer relationship to prevent us being together. Yet, even as I prepared to ask you to join me for the last dance, Angel unexpectedly showed up. I don't think I've ever seen you happier, and even though my heart broke at not being the one to hold you, I couldn't help but be glad to see you smile.
Have I ever told you what a beautiful smile you have? Or that it lights up the room? I wish I had, for now I fear I shall never have that chance again. If nothing else let me tell you this: The world is a brighter place because you are in it. Never doubt yourself, and never let anyone make you believe otherwise.
I love you, my dear Buffy. And although we can never be more than friends, I will continue to do so until I am in my grave.
Love always,
Rupert
Tears streamed down Buffy's cheeks for the second time that day as she absorbed this information.
*Willow was right. Giles does love me*.
Now certain that this gift was no accident, but an intentional way of telling her of his feelings without the fear of rejection, she carefully folded the paper again, before opening the next envelope. Just as she suspected, this one was also fondly addressed to her, and like the previous letter, had no date. Its contents however, gave a clear indication of when it had been written.
My beloved Buffy,
Again you have managed to astound me with your courage and unselfish love for those around you. You were absolutely astounding in your fight with the Mayor. You fought with wisdom and great skill.
Yet every time I witness your battles, I always feel such overwhelming love for you and the need to protect you - I would have fought in your place if I could. I know that I am standing in your way, preventing you from fulfilling your destiny as the Slayer, but I refuse to let you be put in a situation where your life is jeopardised. I meant what I said in my last letter, I will protect you with my own life until there is no more life in my bones to offer you.
How my heart aches for you, my dear Buffy. You have battled so bravely, putting aside your grief at Angel leaving. I will confess that I am glad he is no longer here, reminding me of his darker side, Angelus. reminding me of the torture he put me through. Still, I would suffer it all again for you, my love, if it meant keeping you safe - and alive.
But, despite my relief at his absence, I can see how much pain you are in. If I could take that away from you, I would, and I hope you know this.
In the meantime, with the knowledge that I cannot take away your hurt, I can only hope that you will remember that I shall always be here for you. Regardless of my feelings, I will never take advantage of you, and should you need a willing listener I am here and ready.
I cannot help but tell you again my dearest, that you are my reason for living, the light of my life. I will love you with every breath that I take, and every heartbeat. That, my love is one thing Angel can't do.
Oh, Buffy, I am so sorry for my petty jealousies. Please forgive me. I couldn't bear for you to hold this against me; I couldn't live without you in my life. I love you so very dearly.
Love always, Rupert
Buffy hurriedly tore at the next envelope, desperate to see what was coming next and found just a short note.
Oh my Love,
Here I am again, pouring out my love for you on paper. How I long to tell you these things for they are so impossible to keep hidden. I can only thank the gods that I have this means of putting my feelings for you into words, for I have no other way of safely expressing what my actions cannot say: that I love you.
I keep seeing you around the town, out with Willow and Xander. You wear your mask of happiness so well, but on the few occasions we have talked this week, I have seen in your eyes just how deeply you are hurting. For the life of me, I cannot fathom why Angel let you slip through his grasp, or why you should suffer so intensely for his mistake. He has been such a fool.
If I had you in my life, I would never, ever let go of you. My love, I can only hope that the rest of the summer improves for you and that time heals your hurt. Again, may I remind you that I am here if needed.
Love always, Rupert
Deep sobs erupted from Buffy's throat wracking her entire body as she hiccupped his name between them.
"Giles. Oh Giles. why did you never tell me? I needed to talk to you so badly, but you never gave any sign."
She reached for a tissue, desperate to protect the heartfelt letters. When her crying had quietened, she reached for the next letter.
Dearest Buffy,
This seems to have become a bit of a ritual. Not that I mind, for it is a healing and comforting one. Each Saturday evening, I curl up with a nice pot of tea and my thoughts of you. I have found that by writing them down you become immortal to me and I can be reminded over and over again of the times you have survived love, loss and change. Yes, change.
I know you are preparing for University and that you are scared of the adjustments you'll face: life in a dorm room, without your mother, without Willow or Xander. But my love, there is no need to be scared. Your mother and your friends will not be too far away, and as I have repeatedly said, I am not too far away either.
Not that you've noticed.
You haven't visited me once yet this summer, the only times I've seen you being when we have bumped into each other in town. I'm not going to pretend to understand why, and it hurts so very much, but because you are whom you are, I can forgive you. I love you so very much, and nothing is worth ruining our 'relationship'. Still my heart is full of hope now that there are no excuses, that you would regard me as a man, possibly as a potential love.
I know my fantasies are foolish, after all, the age barrier between us still exists and I'm sure you would never consider someone as old as me to be your lover - regardless of the two centuries that Angel survived. But still, as I have already said, my heart hopes for you.
You have captured me in your web of seduction, my love. You may not realise it, but your every word, your every movement makes my heart beat more quickly simply because I can witness it and know you are alive.
Love always, Rupert
She pulled letter after letter out of its respective envelope reading them through her tears.
*God, how could I have been so blind? There I was waiting for him to see me as a woman, and there I am, not noticing that he was waiting for me to see him as a man. How could we have been so stupid, missing each other's intentions? How could I have let him hurt like this?*
Buffy continued mentally beating herself up as she read through still more letters that expressed his feelings about Olivia, Parker, Riley, the Initiative, Professor Walsh, Dawn and even Spike's crush on her and her mother's death. She devoured every word as if it were food for her aching soul.
Then she found the one that really did make her throw up, upon reaching the bathroom.
His tears had stained the paper in several places and as hers joined his, she could only just make out some of the words.
I have failed you, Buffy.
I swore to protect you and watch over you, but instead I have failed you.
All this time I have been wrapped up in my guilty fantasies and my resentfulness over your relationship with Riley, when I should have been helping you to fight. And now I must pay the price for my carelessness.
I cannot believe that you've gone. I always promised you a long life, and now I must suffer knowing that you'll never have that because of me. Had I not been so stubborn and so quick to judge, I might have been able to help you research an alternative way of defeating Glory. Instead, you went out to die because of my selfishness.
All I could think about was averting an apocalypse using whatever means necessary. Yet, you truly showed how you've matured, putting your sister's life before your own.
How could I possibly have thought that by taking one life, we could save thousands?
You took that theory and died in her place.
How could I have been so careless?
We could have found another way - I know we could.
Oh Buffy, I cannot express the depths of my sorrow and anguish. I loved you more than life itself, and I know for certain that I always will even though you are gone.
I never thought your light would be extinguished, and now that it has, I find myself reliving that night, trying to find alternatives. I know this is doing me no good. I should be looking after the others, but instead, I find that they are looking after me. Stopping me from doing anything. rash.
I think Willow suspects how I feel.
I know she has seen how I weep endlessly, and she has mentioned that she heard me cry your name in my alcohol-induced sleep. I believe she knows of my love for you, and that she realises the emptiness I feel without you. If I were to be left alone, I would almost definitely consider ending this life to join you in yours.
Naturally as a result, Willow never leaves me, not even for a second - well, except for the necessities, of course. But even then, she has removed all the sharp objects from the house. If I want to shave, I have to request her permission, and even then she watches me while I do so.
I can't stand this loneliness, this pain. I thought I knew true grief and torment when Jenny died, but it was nothing compared to how I feel now. I just feel hollow all the time. I don't want to live without you.
The only thing that stops me from joining you, my love, is what it would do to our friends, and to Dawn. She is a part of you, I can see that now, and just as I could never leave you, I would never leave her either. Perhaps this is my farewell to you. I don't think I could face writing again, knowing that you will never read it.
Goodbye, Buffy. I will cherish the memories we shared.
Love always, Rupert
When Buffy had finished in the bathroom, she returned to her room and clutching the letter, threw herself on the bed crying into a fitful sleep.
* * * * *
Several hours later, Willow returned home with Dawn in tow, having collected her from Janice's.
"Buffy?" She called out into the still house.
There was no answer, and Dawn shrugged it off, figuring Buffy was still in her broody mood, unaware of what had transpired between she and Willow that morning and headed into the kitchen for a snack.
"Hey, Willow? You want something to eat? I can fix us some pancakes, if you like."
"Not now, Munchkin." Willow replied distractedly. She was less casual about the silence.
Buffy should be bouncing off the walls in happiness at Giles' expensive gift. She headed toward the stairs, intent on discovering the reason for the stillness.
Willow found Buffy curled up in a tight ball on her bed grasping what looked like a letter. Then it hit her that the whole floor was littered with letters. Rejecting the voice that told her she was being nosy, she picked one up and browsed its contents.
My Love,
I cannot believe that you are back.
Words cannot begin to describe how overwhelmed my heart is with emotion at your return. I had believed that you were dead and had vowed never to write another letter to you, but I find that you are alive, and so here I am again.
My heart sings for joy with the knowledge that you are alive.
Of course, what Willow did was careless and downright dangerous, but even that cannot quell the song in my spirit. I think I have fallen in love with you all over again at the thought of having a new chance to tell you how I feel.
Willow swiftly cast her eyes elsewhere at the realization of what she held.
*This is really, really personal stuff. How did Buffy get it?*
She looked more attentively around the room, and her keen eyes spotted the open box with letters fanning out from it.
*Oh my god.*
She crossed the room and sat gently on the corner of the bed, watching as Buffy slept on, unaware of her presence. From where she sat, she could make out a handful of words on the page Buffy held, and was drawn to the intimate handwriting like a child to ice-cream:
I have failed you. I must pay the price. you went out to die. I don't want to live without you.
Buffy turned suddenly in her sleep, crying out Giles' name and flinging out the hand that held his words. Willow jumped up quickly to avoid getting hit. She clenched her jaw.
*Something has to be done.*
* * * * *