Narrator Squall: They hail from a world where the ruling empire is trying
to take over the world by draining the life out of huge mystical monsters
and they are the few who will rise up to oppose the empire and bring back
peace to the world and to the mystical monster. They are from Final Fantasy
III, or VI, however you want to call it, the Returners!
(The audience claps for the Final Fantasy III/VIjap team.)
Mog: Hey Squall, you think you can cut down on the introductions a bit?
Narrator Squall: .Ok.
Mog: Thanks.
Narrator Squall: Team two is just badass. AVALANCHE!
Mog: Well that certainly was cutting it down.
(The audience claps for the Final Fantasy VII team.)
Mog: Well let's get to know Team Returners a bit more shall we? (Mog walks over to the FFIII crew.)
Mog: Here we have a couple of old buddies of mine. Let's start with the lovely and magical, yet deadly Terra Branford!
(Terra waves to the crowd, wearing her red imperial uniform and her green hair in a ponytail.)
Mog: Next we have the equally as beautiful and equally as deadly Celes Chere.
(Celes simply smiles to the crowd.)
Mog: Third is our resident thief-
Locke: That's TREASURE HUNTER!!!
Mog: .Right, treasure hunter, Locke Cole!
(Locke smiles and points up two fingers in the air.)
Mog: Fourth is our good friend, the muscular Sabin Rene Figaro!
(Sabin starts to flex and pose for the crowd.)
Mog: Ok, thank you Sabin.
(Sabin continues flexing. The ladies in the audience start to swoon.)
Mog: Ok, that's enough Sabin.
(Sabin still flexes.)
Mog: SABIN!!!
Sabin: Oh, sorry little dude. Got a bit carried away.
Mog: You think so you big meathead?
Sabin: You want some of this you little marshmallow puff?
Edgar: Hey, can we get on with this? I would like to be introduced. I mean I'm merely a king, nothing important, but it would be nice to be noticed.
Mog: Oh, sorry. Let's continue.
Sabin: Yeah, you better walk away. You're lucky we're on TV or else I would've Pummeled your stupid little pink pom pom.
Mog: Oh that's it muscle (Female dog), you're going down!!!
Sabin: Ooh, what are you going to do? Dance for me?
(Mog jumps up and down and spins around. Suddenly the whole room changes to a large cave as giant boulders fall on top of Sabin.)
Sabin: Uaoo!!!
(Sabin gets knocked out by the boulders and lays unconscious on the floor. The room then reverts back to its original state.)
Mog: Can we get a replacement here?
Edgar: (Sighs.) I'm never gonna be introduced am I?
(Another Final Fantasy III/VIjap character walks in from the back to take the fallen Sabin's place.)
Mog: Now to replace Sabin Figaro we have. Jesus. What are you doing Umaro? Go sit back down in the audience.
Umaro: Umaro want to play game.
Mog: No! Go sit down.
Umaro: Umaro want to play game!
Mog: No! I'm your boss and I say go sit down!
(Umaro brings his massive fist down on Mog's head.)
Umaro: Umaro wants to play game!!!
Mog: (Dazed and confused from the hit.) Fair enough.
(Mog stumbles over to the last party member, almost tripping over Sabin's leg.)
Mog: Now, last but no least, we have the king of Figaro Castle, King Figaro.
Edgar: King Edgar Roni Figaro that is.
(The ladies in the audience al scream like little N'Sync groupies as Edgar poses for them and blows kisses.)
Edgar: Thank you ladies, thank you. I love you all.
(Then a kid in the crowd stands up and starts booing, holding up a sign saying "Edgar Rice-A-Roni SUCKS!!!" Edgar sees this and shoots him with his Bio Blaster, poisoning him and half of the studio audience.)
Mog: Oh God, Standards and Practices ain't gonna like this.
Cid: Hey you f@#king moogle, do you plan on getting to our side any time soon?!?
Mog: Calm your (Insert four letter explicative here) down you damn drunk!
Cid: What'd you say @$$hole?!?
(Cid pulls out his spear and chases after Mog who is screaming like a small woman in labor with triplets while security tries to stop Cid from making his spear from looking like a stick roasting a marshmallow. The show then goes into a commercial break.)
(The audience claps for the Final Fantasy III/VIjap team.)
Mog: Hey Squall, you think you can cut down on the introductions a bit?
Narrator Squall: .Ok.
Mog: Thanks.
Narrator Squall: Team two is just badass. AVALANCHE!
Mog: Well that certainly was cutting it down.
(The audience claps for the Final Fantasy VII team.)
Mog: Well let's get to know Team Returners a bit more shall we? (Mog walks over to the FFIII crew.)
Mog: Here we have a couple of old buddies of mine. Let's start with the lovely and magical, yet deadly Terra Branford!
(Terra waves to the crowd, wearing her red imperial uniform and her green hair in a ponytail.)
Mog: Next we have the equally as beautiful and equally as deadly Celes Chere.
(Celes simply smiles to the crowd.)
Mog: Third is our resident thief-
Locke: That's TREASURE HUNTER!!!
Mog: .Right, treasure hunter, Locke Cole!
(Locke smiles and points up two fingers in the air.)
Mog: Fourth is our good friend, the muscular Sabin Rene Figaro!
(Sabin starts to flex and pose for the crowd.)
Mog: Ok, thank you Sabin.
(Sabin continues flexing. The ladies in the audience start to swoon.)
Mog: Ok, that's enough Sabin.
(Sabin still flexes.)
Mog: SABIN!!!
Sabin: Oh, sorry little dude. Got a bit carried away.
Mog: You think so you big meathead?
Sabin: You want some of this you little marshmallow puff?
Edgar: Hey, can we get on with this? I would like to be introduced. I mean I'm merely a king, nothing important, but it would be nice to be noticed.
Mog: Oh, sorry. Let's continue.
Sabin: Yeah, you better walk away. You're lucky we're on TV or else I would've Pummeled your stupid little pink pom pom.
Mog: Oh that's it muscle (Female dog), you're going down!!!
Sabin: Ooh, what are you going to do? Dance for me?
(Mog jumps up and down and spins around. Suddenly the whole room changes to a large cave as giant boulders fall on top of Sabin.)
Sabin: Uaoo!!!
(Sabin gets knocked out by the boulders and lays unconscious on the floor. The room then reverts back to its original state.)
Mog: Can we get a replacement here?
Edgar: (Sighs.) I'm never gonna be introduced am I?
(Another Final Fantasy III/VIjap character walks in from the back to take the fallen Sabin's place.)
Mog: Now to replace Sabin Figaro we have. Jesus. What are you doing Umaro? Go sit back down in the audience.
Umaro: Umaro want to play game.
Mog: No! Go sit down.
Umaro: Umaro want to play game!
Mog: No! I'm your boss and I say go sit down!
(Umaro brings his massive fist down on Mog's head.)
Umaro: Umaro wants to play game!!!
Mog: (Dazed and confused from the hit.) Fair enough.
(Mog stumbles over to the last party member, almost tripping over Sabin's leg.)
Mog: Now, last but no least, we have the king of Figaro Castle, King Figaro.
Edgar: King Edgar Roni Figaro that is.
(The ladies in the audience al scream like little N'Sync groupies as Edgar poses for them and blows kisses.)
Edgar: Thank you ladies, thank you. I love you all.
(Then a kid in the crowd stands up and starts booing, holding up a sign saying "Edgar Rice-A-Roni SUCKS!!!" Edgar sees this and shoots him with his Bio Blaster, poisoning him and half of the studio audience.)
Mog: Oh God, Standards and Practices ain't gonna like this.
Cid: Hey you f@#king moogle, do you plan on getting to our side any time soon?!?
Mog: Calm your (Insert four letter explicative here) down you damn drunk!
Cid: What'd you say @$$hole?!?
(Cid pulls out his spear and chases after Mog who is screaming like a small woman in labor with triplets while security tries to stop Cid from making his spear from looking like a stick roasting a marshmallow. The show then goes into a commercial break.)