Mog: Well now to begin the game! First up from the Returners is King Edgar,
and from Team AVALANCHE is Yuffie.
(Edgar and Yuffie walk up to the podium and the center. Yuffie goes to shake Edgar's hand but Edgar kisses the back of her hand, and of course the adolescent Yuffie falls all ga-ga for him.)
Yuffie: Ga-ga-ga-ga-ga.
Mog: Are you ok Yuffie?
Yuffie: Ga-ga.
Mog: .Ok. this first question is worth 50 points. "Name the first town you visit in Final Fantasy VII after leaving Midgar."
(Yuffie hits her buzzer.)
Mog: Yuffie? Your answer?
Yuffie: Ga-ga-ga.
Mog: Survey says?
Survey: X (Wrong Answer)
Mog: Sorry, wrong answer.
Cid: Hey Yuffie you stupid whore wake up!
Mog: Edgar, do you want to play or pass?
Edgar: Damn, I knew that game was a Greatest Hits for a reason. Pass
Mog: Ok, so now we go to the rest of Team Returners: Umaro?
Umaro: Me kill imps!!!
Survey: X (Wrong Answer)
Mog: Locke?
Locke: Uh. Nibelheim?
Survey: X (Wrong Answer)
Mog: Celes?
Celes: What do I care? I probably burnt it down while I was an imperial general.
Survey: X (Wrong Answer)
Mog: Terra?
Survey: X (Wrong Answer)
Terra: Hey, I didn't even get to answer!
Mog: Do you even know the answer?
Terra: .Maybe.
Mog: What's you're answer?
Terra: Rocket Town?
Survey: X (Wrong Answer)
Mog: Told you.
Terra: Damn.
Cid: Hahaha! Dumb bitch.
(Terra gets pissed off, morphs into her pink and white esper form and zaps Cid with lightning.)
Cid: Ah! That hurt you f@#king whore!!!
Mog: (Sighs) I have 26 kids and a wife to support. All I ask for is for some sanity on my show. But noooo. Moogles don't have it that easy, do they?
(Mog walks over to Team AVALANCHE.)
Mog: AVALANCHE, the ball's in your court!
Yuffie: Ga-ga-ga-ga-ga.
Mog: Is she always like that?
Tifa: What do you expect from a sexually deprived 16 year old?
Cloud: Who says she's sexually deprived?
(Tifa shoots a piercing glance at Cloud that says, "No you did not just say that.")
Cloud: N-not that I h-have anything to do with that. But Cid does!
Cid: What the f@#k are you smoking pointy haired kid?
Cloud: Like you, the biggest sleaze ball on the planet wouldn't sleep with her?
Cid: Hell yeah I'd f@#k that bitch, but I wouldn't say so on TV with Shera watching!
Cloud: .Whatever.
Narrator Squall: Grrr.
(Cloud unsheathes his sword again.)
Narrator Squall: (Whimpering.) Please don't hurt me.
Mog: (On the verge of crying) Please good Lord almighty, let the next person answer the question correctly.
(Mog walks back to Team AVALANCHE.)
Mog: Cid, your turn to answer. Now you SHOULD know this considering this IS the game you are from.
Cid: Wait, what's the question again? I was too busy shoving my spear up Cloud's @$$crack.
(We see Cloud in the background trying to remove a broken spear handle from the back of his pants.)
Mog: For 50 points. "Name the first town you visit in Final Fantasy VII after leaving Midgar."
Cid: Hell, how the f@#k should I know? I didn't meet these wimps until they got to Rocket Town.
Survey: X (Wrong Answer)
(Mog droops his head. He seemingly takes out a gun out of thin air and points it at his head as he walks to the center of the stage. One of the security guards rushes him and tackles him to the ground.)
Security: Mr. Mog, don't do it! Think about your family! Your kids! Kamog, Kupu, Momo, Mupop, Kapoop, Bob, Mooko, Mog Jr.-
Mog: Ok, ok! I get the picture.
(Mog regains his composure, but then starts to cry as he walks back to team AVALANCHE when he realizes the question still hasn't been answered.)
Mog: Let's get this over with. Tifa? Do you know the goddamn answer?
Tifa: You should relax Mog. All this stress isn't good for your blood pressure.
(Mog's vein in his forehead starts to pop out as he gets filled with rage.)
Mog: ANSWER THE (Insert four letter explicative here)ING QUESTION ALREADY!!!
Tifa: Alright, alright. Jeez. Kalm.
Mog: SURVEY SAYS!!!
Survery: Correct Answer.
(Team Avalanche celebrates on answering the first question while Mog breathes a sigh of relief.)
(Edgar and Yuffie walk up to the podium and the center. Yuffie goes to shake Edgar's hand but Edgar kisses the back of her hand, and of course the adolescent Yuffie falls all ga-ga for him.)
Yuffie: Ga-ga-ga-ga-ga.
Mog: Are you ok Yuffie?
Yuffie: Ga-ga.
Mog: .Ok. this first question is worth 50 points. "Name the first town you visit in Final Fantasy VII after leaving Midgar."
(Yuffie hits her buzzer.)
Mog: Yuffie? Your answer?
Yuffie: Ga-ga-ga.
Mog: Survey says?
Survey: X (Wrong Answer)
Mog: Sorry, wrong answer.
Cid: Hey Yuffie you stupid whore wake up!
Mog: Edgar, do you want to play or pass?
Edgar: Damn, I knew that game was a Greatest Hits for a reason. Pass
Mog: Ok, so now we go to the rest of Team Returners: Umaro?
Umaro: Me kill imps!!!
Survey: X (Wrong Answer)
Mog: Locke?
Locke: Uh. Nibelheim?
Survey: X (Wrong Answer)
Mog: Celes?
Celes: What do I care? I probably burnt it down while I was an imperial general.
Survey: X (Wrong Answer)
Mog: Terra?
Survey: X (Wrong Answer)
Terra: Hey, I didn't even get to answer!
Mog: Do you even know the answer?
Terra: .Maybe.
Mog: What's you're answer?
Terra: Rocket Town?
Survey: X (Wrong Answer)
Mog: Told you.
Terra: Damn.
Cid: Hahaha! Dumb bitch.
(Terra gets pissed off, morphs into her pink and white esper form and zaps Cid with lightning.)
Cid: Ah! That hurt you f@#king whore!!!
Mog: (Sighs) I have 26 kids and a wife to support. All I ask for is for some sanity on my show. But noooo. Moogles don't have it that easy, do they?
(Mog walks over to Team AVALANCHE.)
Mog: AVALANCHE, the ball's in your court!
Yuffie: Ga-ga-ga-ga-ga.
Mog: Is she always like that?
Tifa: What do you expect from a sexually deprived 16 year old?
Cloud: Who says she's sexually deprived?
(Tifa shoots a piercing glance at Cloud that says, "No you did not just say that.")
Cloud: N-not that I h-have anything to do with that. But Cid does!
Cid: What the f@#k are you smoking pointy haired kid?
Cloud: Like you, the biggest sleaze ball on the planet wouldn't sleep with her?
Cid: Hell yeah I'd f@#k that bitch, but I wouldn't say so on TV with Shera watching!
Cloud: .Whatever.
Narrator Squall: Grrr.
(Cloud unsheathes his sword again.)
Narrator Squall: (Whimpering.) Please don't hurt me.
Mog: (On the verge of crying) Please good Lord almighty, let the next person answer the question correctly.
(Mog walks back to Team AVALANCHE.)
Mog: Cid, your turn to answer. Now you SHOULD know this considering this IS the game you are from.
Cid: Wait, what's the question again? I was too busy shoving my spear up Cloud's @$$crack.
(We see Cloud in the background trying to remove a broken spear handle from the back of his pants.)
Mog: For 50 points. "Name the first town you visit in Final Fantasy VII after leaving Midgar."
Cid: Hell, how the f@#k should I know? I didn't meet these wimps until they got to Rocket Town.
Survey: X (Wrong Answer)
(Mog droops his head. He seemingly takes out a gun out of thin air and points it at his head as he walks to the center of the stage. One of the security guards rushes him and tackles him to the ground.)
Security: Mr. Mog, don't do it! Think about your family! Your kids! Kamog, Kupu, Momo, Mupop, Kapoop, Bob, Mooko, Mog Jr.-
Mog: Ok, ok! I get the picture.
(Mog regains his composure, but then starts to cry as he walks back to team AVALANCHE when he realizes the question still hasn't been answered.)
Mog: Let's get this over with. Tifa? Do you know the goddamn answer?
Tifa: You should relax Mog. All this stress isn't good for your blood pressure.
(Mog's vein in his forehead starts to pop out as he gets filled with rage.)
Mog: ANSWER THE (Insert four letter explicative here)ING QUESTION ALREADY!!!
Tifa: Alright, alright. Jeez. Kalm.
Mog: SURVEY SAYS!!!
Survery: Correct Answer.
(Team Avalanche celebrates on answering the first question while Mog breathes a sigh of relief.)