"Can I get you something to eat?"
It was your typical roadside diner/gas station. Carter didn't like it, but he was starving. The waitress chewed her gum loudly, and rather disgustingly. They were wearing the complete attire, apron and all. The floor was black and white checkered, and the counter and bar stools were littered with truck drivers and bikers.
"The number five breakfast," he mumbled. It was the first time he'd spoken in nearly twelve hours. His throat was dry, and he choked on his own words while the woman above him looked on oddly.
"That all?"
"Yeah," he replied unsteadily. He handed her his menu and she walked off.
He pulled out his cell and dialed her number. Eventually, he'd have to do it.
She picked up instantly. "Hello?"
He froze.
"Hello?"
"Abby," he whispered. "Abby - "
"John," she said. "Where are you? What's going on?"
"I can't say," he said. "I can't be with you."
His own words, to him, were of pure disgust. It wasn't him talking. Why didn't he stop it, go home and meet his girlfriend again.
"John," she whispered, then said louder, "what are you talking about?"
"I don't know," he managed.
"Stop it," she said. There was the slightest hint of crying in her voice. "Stop."
"I'm sorry," he whispered, his head in his hands.
"John, no," she said. "Why are you doing this? When are you coming back?"
"I don't know if I am." He was in shock.
"But you have to come back," she said. The tears were evident. "Quit acting like this."
"Bye, Abby," he dropped the phone to the ground. His hands were shaking.
The food was gross, the people rude, the bathroom appauling. It didn't matter. He'd eaten, smiled, and used it anyway. Every emotion was phony.
Trying to drag himself and his mind further away from Abby, he realized what she was. Beautiful, special in every way -
Stop, he demanded himself. Stop acting like she's the almighty. Like she saved your life and you owe her.
Silence.
He did owe her. She'd saved him, and he'd saved her. In a million ways. With every smile, she'd turned his day around. With every glance, they were together no matter where.
If he loved her, what was stopping him from telling her? She could be the love of his life, the one he was supposed to be with, and was trusting his head? His mind didn't know anything at the moment, as far as he was concerned. He neverminded it and dropped a random bill from his wallet to the table. Fifty. Enough.
He smiled unexpectedly as he jumped into the driver's seat. Immediately, the car was started and he was drifting down the road again.
There wasn't a reason to be with her. Not a single reason in the world. Not one. His face lit up again at the thought. He loved her.
Did she love him?
He felt it, he thought. Both had been shy to speak it.
Maybe it was the reason he'd felt slightly disappointed when they found they *weren't* having a baby.
He didn't want to think of anything but her. If he even had a choice. He was crazy about her. Insanely, head over heels in love with her.
It occured to him that he'd forgotten his cell in the restaurant.
Oh, well.
He raced madly back to where she was waiting for him. Crying, now alone. He couldn't believe what he'd said. And how had a collection of disgusting diner memorabilia taken him to a final, better conclusion?
It didn't matter. Whether she took him back or not, he loved her. And he knew it for sure.
He just hoped she felt the same.
--
The rain was pouring. 'Raining cats and dogs,' as some would say. He stormed up the stairs and caught the door of someone exiting the building. Lucky him.
He raced to the top of the stairs and knocked on her door. He couldn't help but smile as he did so, at the thought of telling her he loved her. Was there anything better than this moment? Could anything ever be greater for two people?
He was still scared, he knew. But, maybe the other feelings were overtaking it. He couldn't wait to see her when she opened that door in front of him.
She wasn't home. He'd been knocking on the door for ten straight minutes, now that he glanced at his watch. He groaned and sat on the ground. Closing his eyes, he decided to slip away, and meet her as soon as she arrived home.
--
Something brought his eyes open instantly. His first thought: she was home.
He stood up to knock on the door again, checking to see if perhaps she had entered while he slept. He beat the door until he could feel bone through skin on his knuckles. Maybe she still wasn't home.
He casually sat himself back onto the floor, and prayed that he would see her soon. Again.
--
He'd thought every thought about her, without meaning to. She literally sent shivers down his spine; she was what he'd been waiting for. He knew it now. There was no one else for him.
But had he messed it up? Had he messed up their chances, all by some disappointing aftermath of a shift at County? He hoped to God, something he rarely did, that that wasn't the deal. He didn't know what he would say to her once he saw her. Other than apologize a million times.
But apologizing wasn't enough. He would tell her everything. Everything that had gone through his head from the night he left to the diner, to waiting in the hallway for her.
He loved her.
More than anything.
It was your typical roadside diner/gas station. Carter didn't like it, but he was starving. The waitress chewed her gum loudly, and rather disgustingly. They were wearing the complete attire, apron and all. The floor was black and white checkered, and the counter and bar stools were littered with truck drivers and bikers.
"The number five breakfast," he mumbled. It was the first time he'd spoken in nearly twelve hours. His throat was dry, and he choked on his own words while the woman above him looked on oddly.
"That all?"
"Yeah," he replied unsteadily. He handed her his menu and she walked off.
He pulled out his cell and dialed her number. Eventually, he'd have to do it.
She picked up instantly. "Hello?"
He froze.
"Hello?"
"Abby," he whispered. "Abby - "
"John," she said. "Where are you? What's going on?"
"I can't say," he said. "I can't be with you."
His own words, to him, were of pure disgust. It wasn't him talking. Why didn't he stop it, go home and meet his girlfriend again.
"John," she whispered, then said louder, "what are you talking about?"
"I don't know," he managed.
"Stop it," she said. There was the slightest hint of crying in her voice. "Stop."
"I'm sorry," he whispered, his head in his hands.
"John, no," she said. "Why are you doing this? When are you coming back?"
"I don't know if I am." He was in shock.
"But you have to come back," she said. The tears were evident. "Quit acting like this."
"Bye, Abby," he dropped the phone to the ground. His hands were shaking.
The food was gross, the people rude, the bathroom appauling. It didn't matter. He'd eaten, smiled, and used it anyway. Every emotion was phony.
Trying to drag himself and his mind further away from Abby, he realized what she was. Beautiful, special in every way -
Stop, he demanded himself. Stop acting like she's the almighty. Like she saved your life and you owe her.
Silence.
He did owe her. She'd saved him, and he'd saved her. In a million ways. With every smile, she'd turned his day around. With every glance, they were together no matter where.
If he loved her, what was stopping him from telling her? She could be the love of his life, the one he was supposed to be with, and was trusting his head? His mind didn't know anything at the moment, as far as he was concerned. He neverminded it and dropped a random bill from his wallet to the table. Fifty. Enough.
He smiled unexpectedly as he jumped into the driver's seat. Immediately, the car was started and he was drifting down the road again.
There wasn't a reason to be with her. Not a single reason in the world. Not one. His face lit up again at the thought. He loved her.
Did she love him?
He felt it, he thought. Both had been shy to speak it.
Maybe it was the reason he'd felt slightly disappointed when they found they *weren't* having a baby.
He didn't want to think of anything but her. If he even had a choice. He was crazy about her. Insanely, head over heels in love with her.
It occured to him that he'd forgotten his cell in the restaurant.
Oh, well.
He raced madly back to where she was waiting for him. Crying, now alone. He couldn't believe what he'd said. And how had a collection of disgusting diner memorabilia taken him to a final, better conclusion?
It didn't matter. Whether she took him back or not, he loved her. And he knew it for sure.
He just hoped she felt the same.
--
The rain was pouring. 'Raining cats and dogs,' as some would say. He stormed up the stairs and caught the door of someone exiting the building. Lucky him.
He raced to the top of the stairs and knocked on her door. He couldn't help but smile as he did so, at the thought of telling her he loved her. Was there anything better than this moment? Could anything ever be greater for two people?
He was still scared, he knew. But, maybe the other feelings were overtaking it. He couldn't wait to see her when she opened that door in front of him.
She wasn't home. He'd been knocking on the door for ten straight minutes, now that he glanced at his watch. He groaned and sat on the ground. Closing his eyes, he decided to slip away, and meet her as soon as she arrived home.
--
Something brought his eyes open instantly. His first thought: she was home.
He stood up to knock on the door again, checking to see if perhaps she had entered while he slept. He beat the door until he could feel bone through skin on his knuckles. Maybe she still wasn't home.
He casually sat himself back onto the floor, and prayed that he would see her soon. Again.
--
He'd thought every thought about her, without meaning to. She literally sent shivers down his spine; she was what he'd been waiting for. He knew it now. There was no one else for him.
But had he messed it up? Had he messed up their chances, all by some disappointing aftermath of a shift at County? He hoped to God, something he rarely did, that that wasn't the deal. He didn't know what he would say to her once he saw her. Other than apologize a million times.
But apologizing wasn't enough. He would tell her everything. Everything that had gone through his head from the night he left to the diner, to waiting in the hallway for her.
He loved her.
More than anything.