Author: Misty Flores
With special contribution by Ness
Email: mistiec_flores@yahoo.com
Teaser: So 'Happily Ever After' didn't last forever, and now Cordelia's ready to move past the mission, and on with her life, without Angel Investigations. Course, intent is always easier than execution, especially when Angel and company, aren't ready to let her go.
Genre: Angel/Cordelia, Cordelia/Other - Comedy
Rating: R for language, some sexual situations.
Spoilers: Tomorrow. Speculation for Season Four.
Notes: Remake based on the forties screwball classic 'His Girl Friday'. AU, Futuristic - and damned wacky.
More notes- The majority of Chapter Three was written by Ness (www.stoic-simplicity.net/anr). 'Cause she rocks.
As always- three chapters a day, so as not to overwhelm.
--
CHAPTER TWO
"It's the visions, you see. The visions that were meant to guide you. You could turn away from them. She doesn't have that luxury. She knows and experiences the pain in this city, and because of who she is, she feels compelled to do something about it. - It's left her little time for anything else. - You'd have known that - if you hadn't had you head firmly up your... place that isn't on top of your neck." - Wesley, Epiphany.
--
Angel was very much a vampire.
There was a certain haunting awareness inside of him, no matter many years past, no matter how often the soul could fool so many, he never forgot that he was in fact - a vampire.
With the knowledge and the being came certain primeval instincts. With the freedom of a bound soul came the longing to be happy, and Angel had learned the hard way, that if one was to succeed in that quest - to take what belonged to him and keep it- one needed to fight for it.
Angel never trusted human perspective or decisions. A human, or Cordelia's case, a demon, had the uncanny ability to fool themselves - to reach deep down and deny their feelings and their needs because of their stubborn instincts.
In his years with Angel Investigations, an agency started for the simple reason that a vampire in love wanted to forget, Angel had come to learn a vast amount about humans, about demons, about the mission in general.
It was this woman in front of him who had taught him that his mission was all that mattered. It was this woman who showed him that deep, passionate, all consuming love did not have to end with pain. It was this woman who sacrificed her entire world to stay at his side, to devote herself to the mission, to his cause.
Up until recently it had been their cause, what they had lived for, a rediscovery of self, helping the helpless, in between the moments when they had come to live for each other.
And in this moment, Cordelia Chase had suddenly decided that it was over.
Just. Like. That.
He saw the ring. It was another man's ring on the finger where he had once placed his own. The white gold wrapped around his left hand, third finger went colder than he was, almost as if he was being mocked.
He was fooled into breathing, her heart beat all he could hear as he stared at the ring shoved into his face, and he barely heard her whispered, "I tried to tell you..."
He jerked his eyes away from the ring, with the small diamond, much smaller than the one he found, and found himself bracing against the desk for support. The words and the images wouldn't stop ringing, and the white hot anger coursed through him, making him shake just a little.
Eyes shut and he saw the flashes of his life, of his marriage - the one human thing he had always wanted, first with Buffy, then, finally achieved with Cordelia. A dream with a wedding and a honeymoon, with a ring and a child, with a wife who loved him - who needed him as much as he needed her.
FUCK.
"I'm getting married, Angel." She almost sounded like she was apologizing, body heat warming his back, her hand hesitantly on his skin. And then, when he turned and stared, she seemed to shrink back, lose the sympathetic face and harden. "And I'm getting as far away from this place as possible."
He swallowed, hard, hands wrapped around the wooden desk. If he closed his eyes and sniffed, he wondered, would he still smell the after effects of their lovemaking? Hear the crystal laughter in his ears, following by the ear piercing shriek as nails tore into his back, desperately trying to find leverage before she tipped them both off? He damned himself for being a vampire - if he still had the scars, he could show her, SHOW her what this mission, what HE once meant to her.
Instead, he could manage a, "What?" as he glared at her form.
Cordelia Chase, this woman who used to be his wife, was content in her decision, fingering the ring as she gave him a shrug. "I'm through."
The statement was so ludicrous he could only laugh, a deep, hollow laugh that started in his stomach and ended in his throat. "You can't quit the mission, Cordelia."
"Oh? Why not?"
"Because I know you," he reminded her, straightening away from the damned desk and reaching for the brandy, anything to keep from looking at the damned ring that was in HIS place. "I know what quitting would do to you."
"Really."
"It would kill you."
It was her turn to laugh now. "Oh, Angel - you can't make me believe that."
"I'm not making you believe anything, Cordelia, you know it. You're a Seer, a warrior for the Powers That Be. You can't just ignore the mission just because-"
"Who says I can't?" she snapped, a tart statement that was so like Cordelia when she was riled, a fussy cat with claws extended. "You did."
Yes, he did. Years ago, he had fought to ignore the mission to avenge the death of his sire, and he had come back.
To her.
"Cordelia-"
"Angel... Look- don't you get it? That's half the reason! I'm leaving because I don't want to be a Seer, I don't want to be a Warrior." She closed her eyes, turning her head. "What's wrong with just being a woman?"
"A traitor." There it was - the vampire. Little words that found the appropriate sting, just enough bite to make her freeze, turn and stare. Her eyes grew cold, like flint - but he was past caring. A desperate vampire was cold, hard, like her.
"A traitor? To what?"
"You know what!"
"The mission? Helping the hopeless? Coming back from being sucked in a demon dimension to find that our friend died in a heartless death? Letting some opinionated asses decide who gets saved and who doesn't? NOT getting a vision of my best friend's only son getting taken to an evil dimension?" He moved back, but the words kept coming. "Getting 'tested' and being promoted just as the man I love gets tossed in a box and thrown into the ocean? Being forced to choose between his life and the mission? Choosing between him and his son? I know all ABOUT the mission. I was a freaking demon HOTWIRE for the Powers that Be, Angel. I was UP there, I know how the bastards work, so don't lecture ME on what it takes to be a Warrior or a Seer." The words were broken, edged in emotion, the bitterness that had seeped into his woman's words made him ache.
God - he should have seen it coming. She experienced all the hate, and all the rage, and all the pain with these visions of hers - it had to have infected her. Rage infested like cancer, and the bitterness only grew.
"What's the use," she whispered, sinking into the old wooden chair. "God, Angel - you wouldn't understand. You don't understand what it means to be me, to live for ME, just once. To wake up and only worry about ME. Not the mission, not the decision, not the never ending power struggle knowing that one move could kill someone."
"That wasn't your fault."
"I killed him, Angel. I allowed it. I allowed an innocent soul-"
"Cordelia-"
"I'm done with it." The words were final, hard, and the cold hazel eyes left no room for argument. "I'm getting away from the Powers, and away from your mission, Angel. I'm living at least part of my life like a human being. I know I'm not one anymore, but maybe being a mom, joining the couples section at a small suburban church- could work for me."
He was tricked into breathing again, a habit that had become more frequent than before - waking up without his wife by his side, the panic would come, and he would gasp for breath, as if he was suffocating.
Because he was a man, he held the anger inside - the urge to pin this being to him and lock her until she knew she was his own-
Because he was a vampire, he calculated, never accepted, and he knew, that would not work for her. He had seen true happiness in her eyes, he had seen that hazel almost gold with glow, and he had been the one to give it to her.
"So, who is this guy?" he finally asked, in the awkward silence that followed. He wasn't sure if she looked more relieved that he had finally moved on, or frightened that he would tear the bastard in two, but she smiled, a wary grin that still made her tired face light up somehow.
Like she knew he was on to something. God - gotta love that Cordy.
"Douglas Sanderson III."
Angel blinked. "Rich guy?"
"Not really, his dad was just hyped on names. He's more... upper middle class," Cordelia responded. Her eyes seemed to dance with some inner monologue, and the vampire could help but bristle.
"What's he do?" he asked.
"It's your business... because?" she asked flatly. Because she was his wife, that was why.
"Financially stable?"
"I wouldn't worry, Angel," she said, a hint of patronizing insincerity in her voice. "He's in life insurance, he'll support me just fine."
Again, Angel couldn't quite believe the words that were coming out of his wife's mouth. "You're leaving me for an insurance salesman?"
The hell cat his demon wife was quite capable of becoming leaked out at the incredulous tone, and Angel, a damned vampire and a scary one at that, resisted the urge to shrink back, suddenly reminiscing on their nastier fights. "What's wrong with being an insurance salesman?"
"NOTHING! I was just... it's... respectable."
"You bet your ass it's respectable. And as normal as you can get."
"I can see that, I mean it's romantic and sweet, and INSURANCE, CORDELIA?!" Angel's poor frazzled mind threatened to implode. That bit of information did not seem to make sense. "Life insurance? I mean, stocks and bonds, maybe, but I can't picture you marrying a guy in live insurance and being happy about it."
The expression on her face didn't soften. Instead, Cordelia flipped her hair out of her face with a palm, resolutely staring with a defiant scowl. "I can, Angel, and I like it." Her glare was accompanied by knuckles turned white, by fingers wrapped around wood. Angel's gaze drifted down to the slim digits, and he wondered if she had splinters digging into her skin yet. "Besides. I'm not getting into it. It's his job, and he's not exactly working when he's with me."
"Oh, he's not." It was almost dismissive, but Cordelia clearly had her heart set on making a point here, and Angel remembered that in this state, it was best to let her rant. She wouldn't quiet down any other way.
"No, Angel. He doesn't treat me like a co-worker, or a Seer, or a 'Warrior'. He treats me like a woman."
He 'pffft'ed her. It was something he had learned from his years of being with Cordelia. He had come to hate the sound - as any broody vampire was wont to hate a 'pfft' sound. He also knew it pissed her off more than anything when she heard it from him.
"I never treated you like a woman?" Insecurity slipped into his voice, a blink as the realization took hold, and he found himself tensing. He could understand Cordelia's determination to quit the mission - the last test had been a trying one, too much, too soon. But HE never treated her like a woman?
"Doesn't matter. What DOES matter, is he's sweet, and he's nice, and he's noble, and he's innocent, Angel. No jaded answers, no haunting pasts, no mission to atone for." A soft wisp of a homespun smile crossed her face. "He has hope, Angel. Wants a wife, with kids-"
"Hell, Cordelia, in that case, maybe I should marry the guy." The irritated mumble garnered a smack on the arm, and the light contact, almost playful, the evidence that he STILL got under her skin, made him smile. And she liked his smiles. Told him all the time. The grin on his face froze the one on hers, and once again, she turned away from him, breaking the eye contact and moving away from him.
"You should," she responded stiffly, "But I'M marrying him tomorrow, Angel, so I really don't think-"
"TOMORROW?!" Angel turned, eyes suddenly wide. "You're marrying him tomorrow?"
"Yeah. Tomorrow. As in 'day after today'."
FUCK. Angel swallowed, turning his head as he once again braced himself against the desk, narrowing his eyes. Tomorrow.
Cordelia's hazel eyes burned into his back, but he didn't turn, lost in his own thoughts, panic driven scenes involving Cordelia, a set of chains, a locked bedroom, and a bed.
"Wow. That was... long, and intense. But I got it out, so... I'm leaving." He blinked, found her gathering her leather jacket and moving toward the door, suddenly awkward in her haste to escape him. "Bye, Angel-"
It wasn't that simple. It was never that simple, and Angel, frozen in his own overwhelmed emotions, straightened, turning in her direction and blurting out, "Hey, Cor."
Cordelia was clearly waiting for something from him, and the way her palms shook, a gesture so minute he might have missed it, made him wonder if it was more than just words. Action, perhaps? Was she waiting for him to turn, lock fingers around her wrists, throw her on the desk and prove her heart was still his? "What?"
There was something Cordelia had once told him, during their long training sessions: she was an expert at staving.
He should have taken notes.
"Uhm..." Coming forward, he managed a grim smile. "I'm sorry... You kinda... you know... I just... I know it didn't work out, and it should have, but... if it doesn't, it doesn't. If you don't want the mission, then there's nothing I can do to stop it, so... good luck. I hope you have... a normal life."
--
Wow. That was almost way too easy. Cordelia held her breath, staring at her ex-husband with narrowed hazel orbs. She knew Angel. Really KNEW him, and that was just WAY TOO EASY.
This was Angel. Stalkery, possessive, rip the heavens and earth to get her back Angel. And he was just... LETTING her go? What happened to the yelling? The growling? The threats to pin her to the table and screw her into the wood? Placid, forgiving, accepting Angel wasn't an Angel she recognized - and she KNEW Angel.
"What are you on?" she finally asked flatly.
"Nothing! I really do wish you well."
"Right. And you also wish that N Sync will get back together and do that reunion concert with Britney Spears."
"Cordelia."
"Fine," she managed at the exasperated tone. Angel's dark eyes pinned her, and at the shift in her heart, Cordelia closed her eyes. She was being rude. This was Angel, and he was being surprisingly understanding. He deserved better than her snaps. "Thank you."
"Your welcome." He fidgeted, and again, she couldn't help but wonder - that's it? She waited, until finally she was sure he wouldn't say anymore. Shrugging, the Seer turned, fully intending to push the door out when she heard, "I just wish I could meet the guy, is all." A-ha! Cordelia turned, triumphant, fully prepared to launch into a tirade about ulterior motives, until the pained look in Angel's eyes once again made her freeze. DAMN. That hurt. Dark, deep, puppy dog orbs so reminiscent of a time long ago, when she had sworn he would never have that look again.
Suddenly apologetic, she found herself shifting, and saying the single most stupid thing she had ever, EVER said. "You can. He's right outside." Yes, very stupid. So stupid, she should have just kept her stupid big mouth shut.
"Outside?" he repeated. "Right now?"
"Yes, bonehead. Outside, right now. You can meet him." She was being abnormally generous, until she remembered - Angel = vampire. "Only if you promise NOT to kill him, not to threaten him or try to rip his head off."
"I only did that once."
"Twice."
"That other guy deserved it!"
"Forget it-"
"Wait!" Her movement was constricted by a cool palm on her warm shoulder. Angel's strength turned her, and the contrite vampire shot her an emphatic nod. "Agreed."
"You want to meet him," she repeated.
And he grinned. This little boy grin that he had first flashed her so many years ago, when he was pleading with her to make friends with Fred. Good GOD- he should have had that thing patented. Letting out a dramatic sigh, Cordelia rolled her eyes, praying for Douglas' sake that her fiancé was feeling somewhat irate. Douglas was a good, good soul, and incredibly nice.
What on earth had she gotten herself into?
"So... shall we?"
This was just way too surreal. Cordelia took a moment to pray for patience, before she realized she didn't do that anymore, and opted for just pulling the door open, and getting it over with.
"Let's go."
"Let's go." Angel smiled, and that was when she got REALLY worried. Angel all 'smiley' was never a good sign. Cordelia stood stock still, wary as he practically skipped past her and strode into the crowded lobby of Angel Investigations. Leaning against the office door, Cordelia narrowed her eyes, focused on the way Angel walked through the crowd, heading straight for what appeared to be a... REALLY green, really scaly, three-eyed demon.
Her jaw dropped slightly when Angel bent down and took the scaly hand.
"Well... now this is more like it!" Cordelia sighed, pushing off from the door and weaving past a staring Connor and Faith, around Fred and Gunn, to finally stand with crossed arms as Angel slapped the old demon on the back. "I can see why Cordy picked you! Congratulations!"
Old Scaley Demon guy just looked confused. "'Bout what?"
"Your marriage!" Angel blinked, turning back to Cordelia. "What, you haven't told him yet?"
She glared. Douglas, still seated on the orange couch, shot her a questioning glance, but she only shrugged. At this point - there was no point to try and explain this.
"I... I'm already married," the demon guy said.
Douglas stood, trying to tap Angel on the shoulder. "Hey-"
Angel shook him off. "If you need help, one of our qualified associates can help you," he said over his shoulder, turning back to the demon guy. "Now, Mr. -"
"Hey-" Douglas tried again.
Angel kept his clasp firm on the older demon's hand as he turned and glared at the young man. "I'm busy, SIR. Fred, could you come help this guy?"
"But, I'm not-"
"You got it all-"
Faith walked forward, mimicking Cordelia's posture as she viewed the scene of the vampire brushing off Cordelia's fiancé in favor of holding a conversation with the blustering demon. "I tell ya, Cor. You sure know how to pick these freaks."
"Bite me, Faith," Cordelia responded sweetly. Faith smirked, and the two women fell silent again.
"Now, Mr. Sande-"
"But I'm not-"
"Mr. Angel, I'm-"
The growl was unmistakable as Angel snapped back, his loss of patience clear. "Now, listen buddy, can't you see I'm trying to have a conversation with Mr. Sanderson-"
"But *I'M* Mr. Sanderson!" Angel froze, features mimicking disbelief before he blinked.
"You're Sanderson? The third?" Douglas nodded. Cordelia cocked her head, watching as Angel took in the sandy blonde hair and the built body. She smiled. He was a hottie. "Well, who the hell is this guy?" Angel asked, pointing to the hand he still clasped in his palm. Douglas shrugged. Angel turned back to the demon. "Who are you?"
"I'm Justin Walin," the demon said. "I was here for a-"
"Justin Walin?" Angel repeated. "Justin, what the hell are you doing, poking your... really LONG nose into our conversation?"
"But, I-"
"Stay out of it. Fred, help him," he said, pushing the demon away toward the astounded Fred. Out of sight, out of mind, Angel immediately turned his attention back to Douglas. Cordelia rolled her eyes at Angel's posture. Douglas was still taller, but he didn't care one whit. He still stared the fiancé down as if the guy was a midget.
"So, Doug, do you mind if I call ya Doug?"
"Well, no not really-"
"Doug!" Good LORD, Angel was a dork.
"You realize he only acts like a spaz when he's around you?" Faith whispered in her ear. She did, but she didn't comment. Giving Faith an elbow in the ribs, she moved past the Slayer to her fiancé and her ex-husband.
"Just a great pleasure to meet you, my wife- I mean, your wife- I mean... Cordy..." Angel stared into Douglas' face, peering into each wrinkle before he turned and announced, "Cordelia, how could you let me think you were marrying an old guy? This guy's handsome!"
Doubt immediately clouded Douglas' expression. "You thought I was-"
"Angel, I never told you he was old," Cordelia snapped, sinking into the couch.
But Angel was having too much fun with her poor baby, and with eyes of a predator that missed nothing, he spotted the umbrella in Doug's hands. "You always carry an umbrella, Doug?"
Her fiancé cast an uncertain glance down, before muttering, "Well, it looked kinda cloudy-"
"Sure. In this city you can never be too careful. What with the vampires, and monsters and demons, and the unspeakable evil in this world- that umbrella's sure gonna keep you safe."
Douglas' face paled slightly.
Cordelia rolled her eyes. Yeah. This was about enough. "I think we should get going, Douglas," she hinted, drawing her hand into the crook of his elbow in an attempt to pull him away.
But Angel had already grabbed hold of Douglas' free hand, and with a burst of strength, nearly sent the man sprawling toward him. "That's right, we SHOULD get going."
"What? Where?" Cordelia blurted, stiffening.
"Lunch! Cordelia, don't tell me you didn't tell him!"
"Tell him what?" Douglas asked, craning his neck to stare at Cordy as Angel pulled them both toward the basement.
"I'm taking you both for lunch. Nice old place. Cordy used to love it."
Faith watched with darkening eyes, the smirk on her face frozen as she watched with more tension that she let on, as Angel pulled the still protesting Cordelia and her hapless stupid fiancé toward the sewer exit.
"Angel, you can't leave now!" Fred stammered. "Remember? Bethany?"
"That can wait!"
"No, it can't-" Faith's hand shot out, grabbing hold of Fred's elbow, hindering the girl from going further.
"Shut up, Fred," she said evenly, keeping the physicist pinned to her. "Just keep quiet."
"Faith-"
"Let him work," Faith said, letting go as soon as the vampire, the Seer, and the fiancé were out the door. "You know what he's up to."
"He doesn't have a chance," Gunn announced, coming up behind his girlfriend and shoving hands into his over-sized jeans. "Cordy isn't coming back. You heard her."
"You don't think Angel could convince her? This is a pretty big case. Maybe this is what she needs."
"Fred, why the hell do you always have to be such a damned optimist?" Faith turned away, eyes skimming over the tablet of notes she held. Damned Watcher and his nearly illegible handwriting. "You know as well as I do, that that shit that made Cordy quit isn't gonna get fixed just because she still thinks Angel's cute." Dark brown eyes darkened thoughtfully, her heart twisting at the memory. "I don't even know how the girl could stand to walk back in here."
"But... maybe Angel can change that," Fred whispered, suddenly wistful. "Remind her that it wasn't all about the heartache and the pain- I mean, ONE time, compared to all the good times-"
Faith and Gunn exchanged a glance. At times, Fred's belief in humanity was refreshing, other times, it was heartbreakingly naïve. "Fred, she's responsible for damning a human soul to eternal torment. Tell me how that compares." Faith frowned. "Getting her back, that shit isn't going to be easy."
"What? You think he could?" Gunn looked genuinely curious, almost hopeful, expression mimicking his girlfriend's as they stood side by side.
"I think Angel's a damned obsessive vampire who's got a lobster who he wants back. He'll get Cor back, or he'll die trying - hell..." Faith smirked. "I might even help. Might be fun."
"Well, we could sure use that bargaining chip Cordy's got with the Powers," Gunn mused. "That girl's got an in none of us do."
"Well, I'm fucking looking forward to the game." A young man entered the hotel, distracting the Slayer and forcing her to turn away from the couple. "Come on. We've got work to do."
--
"It won't do any good, Angel," she said through gritted teeth. "You're wasting your time."
With an equally forced smile, Angel responded, "Nonsense, Cordy. Happy to do it. Someone's gotta show you kids a good time, right?"
"So... where are we going?" Douglas asked, slightly skittish as he peered through the sewer tunnels, sidestepping a piece of indefinable waste. "Some... vampire place?"
"A vampire place?" Cordelia offered a short laugh. "Hardly. A self respecting vampire wouldn't be caught dead..." She paused. "So, of course it's perfectly natural Angel would practically live there."
"It's an old work romp," Angel responded, tossing a glare Cordelia's way.
Cordelia and Angel continued to walk assuredly through the darkened tunnels, barely missing a step as they skimmed around the various debris, leaving Douglas to hop behind. "Isn't it, kinda... how can you two see in here?"
"Cordy- we could use that nightlight."
"Bite me, Angel!"
"Hey! I'm doing this for Doug's sake. Isn't that right, Doug?"
"Nightlight?"
Cordelia suppressed a sigh, pausing as she turned to study her skipping fiancé, who was doing his best to keep his long trenchcoat out of the bad smelling objects. "Maybe Angel's right," she grudgingly admitted. "Sweetie, don't freak out, okay?"
"Freak out, why would I - HOLY CRAP - YOU'RE GLOWING!"
Indeed, she was. The entire tunnel was filled with a radiant light, and Douglas stared, transfixed as all of it seemed to radiate from his fiancé. "Wow," he breathed.
"Can you see?" Cordelia asked.
Douglas shifted, shaking out of his reverie to smile. "Beautifully. Thanks."
Cordelia smiled, stepping forward to take his hand. "It's okay, sweetie- that's what Light Bright Cordy's for."
He smiled, a soft grin and made her own smile widen in return, pulling at her lips as she leaned forward. The slap she got on her back stung, and Douglas himself yelped as Angel suddenly appeared between them, grinning himself. "What a great moment! I can just feel the warmth! Come on, we're gonna be late."
He pushed them into the general direction, and Cordelia sighed, irritation nearly swallowing her hole.
"Where are going?" Douglas asked again.
"Unless I'm wrong, and I'm really NEVER wrong about HIM," Cordelia muttered, "We're going to Caritas."
--
END CHAPTER