Phew, I've been so overworked lately... exam revision has meant that I've hardly had a chance to go on the computer,
let alone even think about writing fanfiction. Well, here's a short
piece which has come to me, be assured that the next chapter of "What about"
will come eventually. I'm rewriting what I wrote, the first draft was pretty
bad. This little fic focuses on Yui, and her thoughts when Miaka comes
to rescue her from Kutou (y'know, manga vol 3?). A lot of people don't
like Yui, and she isn't my favourite character to write with either, but
I can sympathise with her. This is just my interpretation of events, with
a little shoujo-ai.
One little kiss changes everything...
Do you know what it is like to give up hope? You may think you do, but maybe you are wrong. To give up all hope and your life is not to be taken lightly. There are many who would joke about death, flirt with the idea of it in their heads, but to do it?
I tried. And Nakago saved me. And now I wish he hadn't.
He gave me the gift of hope again, placed my faith in a dream. I see that was just that now, a dream. A dream breathed by the sleeping world, then forgotten just as quickly.
Miaka, why do you do this to me? Can't you understand?
In all my time in Kutou, I clung to the desperate hope that you, Miaka, and Tamahome, that boy who saved us that previous time, would come to my rescue. I clung to the idea of you. When I read about Tamahome, I couldn't help but like him, and in Kutou, the like grew to love, as I clinged to my dreams, in a desperate effort to keep the candle of hope lit.
But you, Miaka, I clung to you must of all. My best friend, my world. My everything. In the real world, I never gave you much more than a few thoughts. You were my bubble-headed best friend, laughing and silly, but nothing more.
You know, I was looking for you when they found me? I called for you too. But you didn't come.
But still I hoped. I dreamed that you would come to save me. What else could I do? You became all that I had, all my hope rested on you.
And you betrayed me. You betrayed me.
I could stand anything else, anything, but this.
I could stand Tamahome loving another girl.
I could stand you loving Hotohori.
But to lose both of you, both of those I love, and to each other... it's more than I can bear. The ultimate betrayal.
And your eyes...!
The look between yourself and Tamahome was intense. Too intense.
You could see the world in each other's eyes. A world with no room for me.
The only way to enter your world, for better or for worse, would be to destroy it.
And that's what I'll do.
And maybe, maybe, you'll see me, understand.
I love you, Miaka. I'm so, so, sorry.
And you'll forgive me, you always do.
But can I forgive myself?
Can I?